Mailbag

Welcome to part 732 of an ongoing series of posts where I occasionally remember to answer questions sent in by my readers.

Zel zipped:

I need a piece of advice, which device is more stealth? Holy trainer or the looker?

I’m inclined to go for th looker, but looking at the pics on ur site it seems holy trainer places the tube almost vertical meaning it’s doesn’t create a bulk down there. Is the looker that stealthy?

They’re both very stealthy. Neither has any moving parts so sound is not an issue. I guess, if I had to, I’d give the Holy Trainer a slight edge on the visibility scale, but unless you have a really big cage on the Looker 02 (which you probably won’t), it’s still pretty much a wash. So, based on stealth, it’s a horse a piece. You’ll need to make your decision based on some other factor (like if you want a titanium tube shoved up your penis).

Pat partook:

I think I know a way to make the Holytrainer 99% secure, assuming you don’t break any piece. What is required is a cock ring that you put on before putting on the Holytrainer. In my case, I’ve experimented a bit with folded paper to emulate a cock ring, and found that a ring that has a circumference of 20 cm and a height of 4 cm will prevent me from reaching my flaccid penis and drag it out. It will not hurt at all either. Problem for me with trapped ball devices is that I can drag them out from the body. This creates a gap. Then I can put a pencil or something and push the penis out of the cage through the peehole, then reach in with my fingers and drag it out. With a gap filling penis ring like this, I can’t reach in with my fingers, and there will not be enough space for the penis to escape.

Have you thought about this idea before? I was wondering if you know how where I can buy a ring like this. It should be quite wide to not squeeze this sensitive part of the penis, I think it should be somewhat flexible to, perhaps silicone. But it shouldn’t be so flexible that it can be stretched over the Holytrainer.

Since you’re an expert I want to give you this idea so that you may help me dig into it 🙂 I also gave the idea to the Holytrainer makers so that they might create a product in the future.

OK, well, not to be too much of an ass, but you could just try not pulling it out of the device. I get the need for security. I get the hotness of being in a thing from which you cannot escape. Truly, I do. But at some point, you need to buy off on what the device implies as well as what it makes physically possible/impossible.

Now that that’s out of my system, I have a silicone cock ring that’s not stretchy enough to easily get back over a locked Holy Trainer (but I probably could if I had to). I thought it was from Gear Essentials but I don’t see it on their site now. Not having tried what you’re describing, I can’t say how effective it’d be, but I maintain that unless the penis is physically held in place within the device through a piercing, there’s no such thing as an inescapable trapped-ball chastity device. They can be made harder to get out of, but not impossible.

I could also see how some would not like your approach as it would make the device sit out further from the body. Also, I’d be afraid of pinching. I really hate pinching. But whatevs! If it works for you, awesome. Maybe someone else will find your approach helpful.

Mark mumbled:

I have a question I hope you can help me with. Last year we bought a mature metal jailbird as we wanted something I could wear permantly. We measured carefully, sent back for a few adjustments and all seems to fit very well. The problem is I always develop a sore spot after a few days, normally 3, under the ring just away from the top and have to remove the device 😦 . We have tried oval as well as normal ring and the same problem always occurs ( it does not with CB ). Mature metal have not heard of this and no one else seems to

Have you heard of this? We love the metal device but I just can’t wear for more than a few days. Is it because single ring do you think double will solve this?

My first thought it stubble. Are you trying to stay smooth down there? I find that about three days after shaving that the stubble comes up and gets pressed back into me during erections. It can be quite painful and, if I try and keep the spot smooth of hair, will eventually develop into a hotspot that requires I remove the device. That’s why I really only shave every few weeks (if that).

However, if it was that, it would happen in other devices too, not just metal (unless the Jail Bird is tighter in the ring than others you’ve worn). I assume you’re using a long-lasting lube like silicone (not baby oil and not petroleum jelly and nothing water-based). Could you have an metal allergy?

If it’s not fit and it’s not lube and it’s not shaving, it could be your anatomy is, for whatever reason, just not compatible. That’d suck, if true.

4her2uz cryptically capered:

Hi there, been reading your blog for some time now, even went to the very beginning to see what I missed. Your insights on cages have been more than helpful, and allowed me to get a MM jailbird to fit on first attempt. Your interactions with your wife have been an inspiration to how I view my chastity lifestyle and has really saved me a lot of frustration and resentment. I know I would have been like you, wanting to have a release date set, no early release, etc.. But have went with your way of “its not up to me”. If its one day, one week, one month, one year…its her decision. Even though l am kinda an ass after I cum, and I lose my fuzzy feeling, if she wants it to happen, that’s what’s gonna happen.

I even started a blog after she agreed to be my keyholder to hopefully help others like you have helped me. I had looked for awhile, but most chastity info was based on maids, sissification, cuckolds, and pets.

Anyway, you gave me the tools to try this for real, I’ve never been this open, talkative, sharing, or happy with someone I love before. She loves it as well, she has been with cheaters before, and this gives her peace of mind. Granted I know I could still cum or get my penis out, but could never get the whole thing off.

Anyway besides the thank you, I wanted to ask you a question about your wife…Once you told her about your chastity idea and she agreed to live this way with, did any of her kinks that she told you about start to actually turn you on?

Example…I was never into spanking, collars, or restraints…but once she told me about them, I am into it totally. Anyway, did your chastity let her reveal kinks, and even though you weren’t into that before, change your thoughts about them?

My Belle has not been forthcoming with too many kinks, per se. She’s admitted a preference for cocks that are bigger than the erect penis I was born with and she’s toyed with the idea of taking a boyfriend on the side, but other than that, no, she hasn’t shared any kinks or predilections.

Regardless, she has embraced a version of femdom that works for her which it really important. It has to work for her and, even if it’s not the cliched version we read about on the web, it’s very hot for me because it’s authentic and makes her happy. In a way, that’s a kind of “revealed kink” in that I had to adjust my preconceptions as to how I’d be dominated so that she was comfortable doing it.

Also, as you say, the amount of communication that comes from being able to successfully integrate a kink like chastity into one’s relationship has all kind of positive side-effects. Great that it works for you! Glad the blog was a help to you both.

Simon says:

My partner and I have entered into male chastity and we are both loving it! However after a tease and denial session how do you get the penis back into its cage? I saw a video where she puts cream over his cock and it seems to become flaccid quite quickly, is this some sort of numbing cream? How do you get your penis back into its cage without orgasm?

Numbing cream takes a long time to work, I find. And even so, I am sometimes so turned on that even a numb penis will stay hard (sometimes because it’s numb). The best advice I have is one of two options. First, a swift kick in the nuts. But some might have a hard time with that. The other idea is a bag of frozen peas (or an icepack or bag of ice or whatever). No hard penis can withstand the affects of something colder than 32º. A few minutes with icy peas on your pecker should do the trick. Just move fast after the cold goes away.

Locked in the Desert dissertated:

Keyholder has locked me in a Holy Trainer 2, 40 mm ring, short cage. The fit seems perfect. However if I start to get aroused it is most painful. Keyholder inquires if I am to be unlocked when receiving anal sex or if this is just something I mentally need to work through when he desires to penetrate me anally. I have been locked for 7 days without orgasm.

Painful how? Like a testicle pain? Or is it in the tube?

Fitting a penis in a hard device is difficult because there are so many variables. On the one hand, I’d say pain is an integral part of the chastity experience. I really believe that. But it can’t be pain that’s too intense for you to take (and that level is purely personal and varies from person to person). I know when Belle and I have sex and she keeps me in the device that I am often feeling a lot of pain. As much if not more than the daily 4:00 AM pressure test. But it passes and I accept it as part of my situation. Some men, however, cannot take the pain. They don’t, like me, take a certain comfort or strength from it. If that’s you, you could look into a silicone device or you might need a bigger ring (if it’s pain in your balls) and/or a bigger tube (if you have a really big dick).

Michael mentioned:

So I’ve been though (like most) a few devices in my search for the perfect fit, so far my favourite is the Holy Trainer V2 with a short shaft and large ring. I tend to be pretty short shafted (just the head or smaller when soft) but large balled (I think it’s actually large scrotum). So far I’m happy with what I’ve got device wise, but I’ve been thinking about getting a PA.

If i were to modify my trainer to allow a PA ring to hold my penis forward do you suspect there’d be any issues with that? Assuming of course I wait the appropriate time for healing, would a constant gentle tug forward cause a PA to migrate or irritate? I definitely CAN fill out the cage comfortablely while soft I just don’t tend to extend fully into the cage which causes some issues during urination.

I found that kind of pulling you describe to be absolutely excruciating. Like, debilitatingly so. When a penis retracts, it’s not just shrinking. There’s a tendon called the suspensory ligament that actually pulls back with a slow and steady pressure. No matter how well you’re healed, the pull on your piercing will be very painful. Not only that, but if you were somehow able to deal with the pain, over time it could cause your piercing to migrate. Do yourself a favor and don’t Google migrated PA piercings.

I did a lot of experimenting with this when I was in the CB6K back in the day. I know of where I speak. At least for me. Use caution.

Babyjosh64 said over on Fetlife:

Hey I have a question if you do not mind. I have tried several Chastity devices such as the holytrainer, CB-6000s. In which I can slip out of all of them because my penis so small. What would you recommend I get?

A PA piercing and an appropriate device to take advantage of it.

Time4Kink said, also on the Fetlife:

I am having a problem with the v2. After wearing it for 24-48 hrs I get redness on the top and tip of my penis. It’s a glowing red and sore. What causes this? Have you heard of this before?

Hmm. Sounds like a bad fit? Or maybe a hygiene issue? Or is there some roughness inside the tube? Could be your cock is too big for the tube or something. Or maybe you’re very sensitive to urine being in contact with your skin.

Buck_Pup on Fetlife said:

So I wound up getting the Holy Trainer, and it’s definitely awesome! 😀

One question about a problem I’ve had with this and the cb6k.. is there any way you’ve found to avoid the irritation when fabric brushes up against the tip that’s exposed at the end of the cage? Or do you just end up getting used to it, because right now it’s hard to pick out something to wear that wont keep brushing up against the tip painfully.

Yeah, that just sucks. For whatever reason, I don’t have that issue as much in the Holy Trainer but I sure do in the Jail Bird. I find wearing underwear a must and it needs to be somewhat thick, especially in the pouch. Flimsy fabric or going commando are a no-go.

That’s all I got for now. Got a question or a comment or whatever? Send it to me.  Maybe I’ll get around to reading it.

 

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