Mailbag

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Steve forever

Welcome back to another exciting installment of the DT Mailbag!

Brooke bothered…

Hey Thumper, I was curious if you’ve ever come across the practice of using ‘Athletic Tape’ for light chastity play before. If you’re not familiar, it’s like a thin and stretchy fabric tape that athletes use to stick onto their skin. It’s designed for adhering to skin (although maybe not to genitals), and you can cover your glans & frenulum using a few strips. It works pretty well to stay in place, lowers your sensitivity from skin to skin contact, and is painless to remove if you gently peel it off. I like that there’s no prep involved to get protected fast (no stocking method), it’s lightweight, and you can sleep in it easily. It’s not supposed to prevent an erection or be a substitute for a cage, but in between it fulfills its role pretty well if you just need to not have a sensitive naked penis for a few hours or for one day. It’s also sold in most stores.

No, but it sounds intriguing. Seems like the instances of DIY or pervertable chastity play has become much less prevalent since there are so many devices out there now at nearly any price point. But the bondage enthusiast in me likes the idea of being bound up like that.

Mike mathered…

Excellent blog – it’s extremely useful to a newbie to this like I am. With your years of experience, perhaps you can help here?

I’m trying to move to a HTv3 after being in a CB-6000s; in the CB I was wearing the #3 ring width the second smallest spacer, and had been wearing for about 3 months. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than the usual CB annoyances with the ring.

I’m now trying the HT with a 45mm ring, and while everything seems fine before I put the cage on, once I put the cage on my balls start to turn a dark red/slight purple colour and get a fair bit cooler to the touch (but not outright cold). My veins also become more prominent on my scrotum, which has me believing that the ring + cage is too tight (despite being larger than the one I wear on the CB), even though I can slip a finger between the ring and my shaft.

In your expertise, is this indeed a sign that it’s too tight, and that I should look at moving up to the 50mm ring at this point?

Yes, that’s too tight. At certain points (full pressurization), a flushing of the scrotum skin isn’t out of the ordinary, but cold is no good at all and that seems too tight for those times it’s not stuffed with an erection. One of the advantages of the CB-X line is the spacers. Sounds like you need to bump that base ring up, at least for a while.

Another Mike mouthed…

Hi great blog, been a lurker for a while. and into the life for about 20 yrs off and on. Mrs M not really interested so tends to go in cycles

Just about to go full steel, currently self locked CB600 & more recently HT2 (plus some junk from China)

Looking to go with the half shell, however, struggling to get a reply from the website, do you know if they are still trading, any tips on getting their attention. Wanted to modify the head to a single hole as per your thoughts

Keep up the good work, you are THE resource for us out here…

I’ve heard from others who have had issues getting a response from Rigid. I also hear it about Steelworxx from time to time. Both these outfits are small manufacturers (AFAIK, it’s just Deitmar at Steelworxx and Rigid is, I think, a couple). They get backed up with orders and the response levels drop. I’d think that’s especially a problem with Rigid since their designs are so innovative. FWIW, that’s a complaint I’ve never heard about Mature Metal.

Apparently, there are many more penises looking for custom metal securement than there are craftspeople to make them. One of the reasons Chinese Ebay specials have become so popular, I guess. Cheap and readily available.

Darrell demurred…

I’ve ordered a steelworxx looker 02 about a month age ( anxiously waiting now ) any how 58mm total length you reviewed it quite some time ago just wondering what you think of it now having owned one for awhile…..do you still wear it…

Lol, yes, I still wear it. So far this year, I’ve worn it nearly sixty days total. My only complain is the base ring is borderline too tight. Other than that, it’s Belle’s main axe.

A mysterious stranger said…

I’ve been following your blog for a while and wanted to share some info based on your recent posting “Of Trust and Locks“. First off, I totally agree with you, a lock isn’t necessary and it’s the trust factor that’s important.

You then mention switching to the HT for travel. I just wanted to share that I just returned from my 5th flying trip in the last nine months and have had no problems with my Mature Metal Queen’s Keep. I have gone through metal detectors and the body scanners with no problems. I’ve been pulled aside twice and they wanded me and it gave a small beep, but then they just let me go. This has been both in the US (various airports) and in Costa Rica. I’ve got another trip coming up in a week and I won’t even think about it.

The first time was kind of a fluke. I had been locked for about 3 months by that time and on the day of travel I went to get the key (I knew where it was, but had never used it, as is laid out in your posting) and tried to unlock to no avail. I tried anything I could be for whatever reason the lock wouldn’t work. We just shrugged it off and took our chances and found out it was no big deal. I have yet to replace the lock (at 9 months continuous now) and have gone on numerous other trips all while caged. Maybe the Steelheart is different, but the Queen’s Keep is a fair amount of metal.

That’s really interesting. The Queen’s Keep does look like it’s less metal than the Steelheart since the Steelheart is a solid tube and the QK is mostly cage. I wonder if the Looker 02 would make it through security the same way.

It’s funny that I still see people worry about the little brass lock in a Holy Trainer triggering a metal detector. No way does that even get close. Next time I’m traveling alone or just with Belle, I might try wearing one of the less solid devices and seeing if I can get through.

YET ANOTHER Mike monotoned…

I read your blog about using the Njoy Pure Wand tool for prostate milking and I am thinking of getting one myself. What position are you normally in during your prostate milking session while using the Njoy Pure Wand? Which position is the best position to cause a release of seminal fluid? Do you think the Njoy Pure Wand is effective at prostate milking and causing seminal fluid to be released?

The curve should be aimed toward your belly button and the knobby end should be sliding over the gland. Other than that, it’s more about how hard you’re doing it and for what length of time. Also, it doesn’t always work for every guy. Some won’t respond while others will express quite a bit of fluid. It’s about how you’re wired and configured.

Personally, it’s worked for me maybe half the time I’ve used it, but every time is an intense experience. I prefer the larger end since it seems to make better contact and stimulate more surface than the small end.

Gimli gamboled…

I’ve just stumbled across your marvellous blog so I hope these questions aren’t too tedious.

I’m in something of a different head space to you in that I’m a solo player (my lovely partner lost all interest in sex at menopause) and my interest is in somehow denying that I have a cock – I’m not quite sure why my head works that way, I have zero interest in switching gender, so perhaps it’s a sort of revenge for the various escapades that my cock has led me into over the years!

I’ve purchased a couple of cheap Chinese devices in the past but the quality has left much to be desired and one of them delivered a nasty UTI (my own fault for being too impatient to sterilise it on delivery).

I was particularly interested in your review of a micro trainer, as it seems to meet my goal of making my cock ‘invisible’. However your comment about messy urination matches my experience. I’m wondering whether you have any feedback about whether a urethral tube would solve this problem, and what drawbacks that might have?

I’m also wondering whether you might have come across some device that traps testicles up in their canals, ideally while holding the penis down in a tucked position. Of course the obvious answer is a chastity belt, perhaps a female one, but most of those I’ve seen seem designed for their visual effect and not for practical daily wear. My ideal would be something that places the head of the penis about mid perineum so that urination (albeit sitting) could take place without removing the device.

Yes, I think a urethral tube would make urination a much better experience in that device, but they were sold out when I ordered and I didn’t want to wait. Without that feature, they’re strictly a pee-while-sitting device.

I absolutely get what you’re saying about minimizing the presence of the penis. The micro is quite good at that.

Yeah, I think what you’re describing is a full belt option. Perhaps a reader can leave another idea in the comments.

Bert burped…

Have you ever been on a nude beach / clothing optional area or resort wearing a cage? What was your experience?

No, never have. Alas. If only we lived in a world where a) more places like that existed, and b) chastity wearers would be accepted without issue.

Sam, a fellow rabbit, sidled…

I’m fascinated by the concept of chastity and really want to get into it. However, I’m a college student, and I don’t have the money nor the privacy to invest in most cages. I’ve almost pulled the trigger on many products, but I’ve been too scared to commit. Do you have any guidelines for cheap devices under $50? The last thing I want is an experience similar to your metal holy trainer or some Chinese plastic rotting my knob off. Your wisdom is appreciated.

Under $50? Your only option is a Chinese knock-off, I’m afraid. That comes with risk, sure, but it’s enough for you to figure out if you even like wearing a device. Recently, I got an inquiry from a site called Oxy Shop. Can’t vouch for them, but they have a lot of devices in your price range.

Andrew opined…

For 24/7/365 wear, what is your TOP recommendation?

We’d like something that breathes, non-noticeable, comfortable, secure, and perhaps goes with a PA piercing.

The search for a perfect device is so frustrating!! Thank you so much!!!

Holy Trainer. If the PA thing is important, then I’d say a Half Shell from Rigid (if you’re OK with waiting, see above).

Yes, getting the right device can be a long and expensive project!

Phil fancied…

I’m still debating the steelheart and I was wondering..

So.. in terms of the rod allowing the PA to slide up, wouldn’t a small divot in the middle that the ring can nestle into prevent that? Perhaps expanding the ends a bit longer to prevent it from sliding forward enough to escape the valley?

The idea of the fixing I designed is to allow the ring to slide up when the penis withdraws so as to avoid the Very Nasty Pulling that can occur. That last sentence…I just don’t understand. 🤨

Simon sashayed…

Getting through the night! I am on my second Jailbird much smaller and snugger than the first; I probably have on average a relatively high/ tight scrotum BUT I struggle with the pain of the device when I get nightly erections (I am 56), would be great if you have any helpful tips.

I’m assuming, based on what you wrote, that the pain you’re having is under your balls. Have you applied silicone lube under the base ring? That’s my top tip when it comes to that issue. Otherwise, a larger ring is in your future, I’m afraid. Also, of course, it’s kinda supposed to be some level of uncomfortable. Not painful, necessarily, but one man’s discomfort is another’s agony. Hope that helps!

Annnnd, that’s all I got for the moment! Usual apologies for those who had to wait a while to get their response.

March metrics

IMG_1958I keep saying these months are weird and they are but if this keeps up I’m going to have to find a new adjective. Belle often has a bunch of travel in the first quarter and this year I do too plus Spring Break and shared hotel rooms, etc. I find it hard remembering what normal was like.

Anyway, Belle only had seven orgasms in March and I only gave her two of those. The rest were self-administered. Part of that was due to a trip of hers over a weekend and two more weekends in hotel rooms with the kids, but she did take care of herself one morning after the kids and I left her alone. That was both slightly painful since I would have liked to give it to her but also cool that he took matters into her own hands. Regardless, her number was a bit below average.

I was allowed out of chastity three times to fuck her. The last time, about mid-month, she told me to come and I did. Well, as well as I can now. It wasn’t especially great for me. As I’ve said, my orgasms are kind of broken. I honestly can’t remember one that felt really good. They don’t feel a ton different from the leakages that happen when I fuck Belle except for the post-orgamsic feelings (and even those are less intense than they used to be).

The more observant among you might be saying, Wait a minute. He fucked her three times but only got her off twice? Yes. She got herself off one of those times since she had me come before she did. I laid there and gave her moral support, though.

In reflecting upon that orgasm and my recent funk, it seems they must be linked. My sub drop was too extreme to be from anything else. But it couldn’t have been just the hormonal release that made it happen. I haven’t dropped that much from an orgasm in a long time. I think it was less hormonal and more emotional. My orgasms are so pathetic now and really give me so little pleasure and I feel sort of resentful about that. Not that they’re that way. Not that they’re not the events they used to be. But that they happen at all.

This gets dangerously close to topping from bottom. I’m not allowed to ask for or refuse orgasm. But it’s how I’m feeling. I wish they didn’t need to happen. I feel like enough “plumbing” issues are taken care of with the occasional expression of fluid when I’m allowed to penetrate Belle. I just really, really, really don’t want to come. Really. Clearly, this is something we need to talk about.

Last night, perhaps as a preface to this line of thought, I asked Belle to leave me locked up longer. I’ve already been in for three weeks without release (since the day I came) and I feel a powerful need to stay locked up longer. It’s hard to explain. I don’t want to see the penis. I don’t want to feel pleasure through it. I only want to feel it strain and crave and be denied. I want it out of sight and out of mind as a thing separate from its containment. I feel as though this is part of the evolution I talked about a few months ago. That I feel my predominant sexual identity is “bottom,” not bisexual. And I define “bottom” as someone who only provides sexual pleasure to another. I love getting Belle off. I love feeling her orgasm course through her body. It’s a potent thing for me to experience through her. I know in my subbie heart I need to be there for her when she wants to feel a hard penis inside her. I know it’s my duty. But…it’s hard. And getting harder.

I reject the old trope that being locked up and denied for longer and longer periods makes one hornier and hornier forever. That’s simply not how it works. But I do subscribe to the idea it makes one more of what they are. It makes one more submissive or more whatever. The hormonal load one carries around is like sexual MSG enhancing all the preexisting predilections. I surmise it would be possible to back me out of this frame of mind regarding orgasm and penis use if I wasn’t locked up all the time. If I was able to pleasure myself with it and even have regular orgasms. I think that would eventually reset everything. But that’s not where we are so that’s not how I am. And in the meantime, my predilections are becoming more and more prominent. I do not have an opinion as to whether or not this is mentally healthy. I think someone from the outside would read all this and think I was in a bad place. I don’t feel that way at all. I feel like it’s all perfectly natural and in a lot of ways it just feels right. But I am left with the internal conflict of not wanting to do for Belle something she wants and needs from me. At least not right now. That’s causing me angst.

Whew, that got really serious and deep. More than I expected. Let’s talk about chastity devices and lighten the mood a bit, shall we? I primarily wore the Steelheart in March. I traveled earlier in the month wearing the Holy Trainer v2 and over Spring Break wearing the Holy Trainer v3 nano. The gap on the bottom of the HTv3 tube really pisses me off because without it that device would be spectacular. However, it’s so bad I found one of my testicles behind the ring three times over ten days. I was even able to take the device totally off and put it back on again in the shower, all the while leaving it locked. That’s simply unacceptable for a male chastity device, in my opinion.

I went back into the Steelheart as soon as we got home and it feels enormous. The HTv3 nano is a perfect size and much smaller than the Steelheart. I feel like it’s time to size down again. I’ve been chatting with a guy on Tumblr who has a new custom device from Steelworxx that’s kind of part Steelheart and part Looker with a locking PA fixing underneath. I’m going to ask Belle if I can start working with Deitmar on a new design that’s basically a Steelheart with that locking PA part, a slightly larger base ring, and a shorter and narrower tube. It would need to maintain the Steelheart look Belle prefers but I’ve definitely…er…”outgrown” is the wrong word. Undergrown? Whatever. It needs to be smaller.

Note, I am not saying the penis is shrinking due to chastity. That’s not a thing no matter how hot the idea sounds to you. It’s still the same size it was the nine plus years ago we started all this. But my preferences and tolerances definitely have changed.

Anyway, due to all the traveling, my locked up time was 99.7% of the month. I was out only 2 hours and 13 minutes, mostly to fuck but also for some cleaning. That’s one minute less than last month and 8 minutes more than January. The one-third of one percent free time average has extended for three months now and is about half the time out I was allowed out in November and December and is much lower than 2018’s year end total of 2%.

So now it’s April and it’s snowing outside. Great. More weirdness.

Holy Trainer v3 review

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Previously, I’ve been pretty vocal in my position that the Holy Trainer male chastity device is the best option on the market for those looking to dip their…er, toe into the “chastity lifestyle.” So when a new version of the device is introduced, it’s a big fucking deal. Can the third version of probably the best starter device on the market improve on its impressive predecessor?

HTv2 vs. HTv3

The third version of the Holy Trainer, like the second, comes in four colors, but instead of the HTv2’s clear, black, white, and pink the HTv3 comes in clear, black, pink, and purple. I, for one, don’t mind seeing the white one go away. To me, it always looked like an orthopedic device. Medical play in the most unsexy way. Purple is the new guy on the block and for those Minnesota Viking and University of Washington fans, presumably. I opted for black as my review unit, but note that their site shows a solid black like the HTv2 and what I got was a translucent, smoky black. My preference in chastity devices is to not have the penis visible, so I would have liked the solid color. Note they are able to make the device in a number of custom colors (as seen on this page) for an extra $20.

Another superficial change between the second and third generation devices is the lock mechanism. It still uses what Holy Trainer calls the “MagicLocker” (a perverted cabinetry lock and the same one used by companies like Steelworxx and Rigid Chastity), but the way the tube and ring fit together has been changed.

The Holy Trainer website says the new version is “more discreet” and it does present a modestly lower bump, but honestly, I think in practice they’re a horse apiece. Oddly, their site also says the HTv3 is the “first padlock free chastity device” but the HTv2 used the exact same lock as the HTv3 (in fact, Belle locks me up with a lock we originally got from Steelworxx back in day — they’re all interchangeable).

The A-ring (Holy Trainer calls it “the ring” but A-ring is what the CB-X people call it on their devices and it’s the term I just keep using for some reason) is pretty much exactly the same as before except for the changes in how it attaches to the tube. It still comes in the same four sizes as before: 36mm, 40mm, 45mm, and 50mm. The HTv2 tubes and rings are not compatible with the HTv3.

The big difference found on the HTv3 is the tube. The HTv2 tube came in two sizes: Standard and small. The HTv3 comes in standard and small like before but they’ve added maxi and nano to the lineup. The maxi tube is obviously for maxi penises, but isn’t all that much longer than the standard tube (which is fine because shorter is always better). To me, maxi looks like it’s for men with more girth than average. The nano is small. Half an inch shorter than the standard tube and the one I tested.

Now it’s time to cover the six criteria upon which I judge devices: Cost, aesthetic, fit/comfort, security, hygiene, and stealth.

Cost

I ordered the HTv3 from the Holy Trainer website. All sizes and colors cost $165 with two shipping options to the United States ($14 for 4-5 day delivery or $28 for two day delivery). This is more than the CB-6000 by about $15 (the other mass market plastic chastity device) but since the Holy Trainer is better than the CB-6000 in every way, I think it’s a reasonable price. I can’t recall what the HTv2 cost, but they’re still being sold on the Holy Trainer website and they’re going for the same price as the HTv3. If the HTv2 was being sold at a discount and you were looking for either the standard or small sizes, I’d say buy it instead of the v3, but they’re the same.

Aesthetic

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I think the Holy Trainer design since v2 is classic and hard to beat (AHAHA see what I did there!?). It’s got clean, simple lines and looks great. The HTv3 is just the same. Maybe, with the sleeker lock bump, slightly better. High marks, as before.

The nano tube is noticeably smaller and more compact than even the short tube which, if you’re into the minimizing aspect of enforced chastity, is a definite plus. But it’s not so small as to make the penis appear to have disappeared like the micro device I recently reviewed.

Fit and comfort

Say it with me: Shorter is better. And the nano is both. So from the aspect of what one would reasonably expect in comfort from a device meant to constrict and stifle one’s erections, it’s great. As good if not better than the HTv2.

Processed with VSCO with av4 presetHowever, on the device I received, there was a small piece of plastic that appears to be a protruding remnant of the molding process and, after several days, it began to irritate. It doesn’t look like much in the photo, but it’s right in a spot where the tube is pushed against my scrotum during periods of maximum pressurization. And it doesn’t take much of an imperfection to cause a worrisome sore against tender skin when one’s active. It’s a disappointing quality issue and one I would expect not to be on every device shipped.

Security

Processed with VSCO with fr4 presetFor reasons I can’t quite figure out, Holy Trainer has decided to make the nano sized tube a much less secure device than any other size they make. This is specific to the v3 since it’s the only that comes in the nano size. As you can see in the comparison images above, the nano tube is designed with a massive gap between the tube and the A-ring. Much larger than there was on the small v2 tube or, according to the images on their site, any of the other tube sizes. I guess this is for comfort during erections, but the end result is a tube that leaves the very spot of the penis that’s necessary to stimulate to achieve orgasm unprotected.

Of course, no trapped-ball device without some kind fixing through a piercing is “secure” in that penises can be pulled out and put back in of nearly all devices, but in this case, one could stimulate themselves to orgasm without withdrawing at all. Turns out, the Halfshell has the same design flaw (though the PA fixing does get in the way a bit), so the HTv3 nano isn’t alone with this issue, but there’s no reason for the gap to be that big. This issue alone would prevent me from wholeheartedly recommending the nano size.

I’ve said before that devices without real security (and even some of those) are really no more than deterrents that keep wandering hands off the fun bits in moments of weakness. If that’s the most basic test of a device, then the nano size of the HTv3 fails since eager fingers can still get to a spot a lot of men might be able to get off from. But if you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t need much more than simple barrier (like me), then the nano HTv3 will be enough. If not, get the small tube since it lacks the puzzling gap.

Hygiene

The nano HTv3 size squishes the penis up more than the small HTv2 did and therefore makes peeing more of a “pray and spray” kind of endeavor. Which, in turn, makes stand-up peeing a bit of a gamble (I don’t bother trying). That complicates hygiene, but the device is no more difficult to keep clean otherwise. I prefer stainless steel to plastic in general as it can feel cleaner, but the HTv3 scores pretty well in this regard.

Stealth

Since it’s so small, the nano HTv3 is really stealthy. The Holy Trainer design has always tended to push the penis back into the scrotum which contributes to its stealthiness and that’s only accentuated with the smaller tube. The two pieces of the device fit together very snugly and the lock is totally integrated which means it’s also perfectly silent.

Summary

The ridiculous gap between the tube and the ring in the nano size is an unfortunate design choice. The other sizes don’t have this issue, so in those versions (and assuming the issue my unit had with finish is a fluke), the Holy Trainer v3 is every bit as good as the HTv2 and remains my top recommendation for those looking for a plastic device or are just starting out with male chastity.