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Posts tagged ‘penis’

Technical difficulties

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?

The past few days, I’ve been having issues. Specifically, odd feelings from inside the tube of the chrome CB6K. Pinching, sensitivity, soreness, etc. Belle had left the key in the house, but hidden, so I couldn’t really see what the deal was (the tube being all metallically reflective and all), but I felt I had the situation in hand (so to speak).

Early this morning, I awoke to an intense itchiness. It was driving me up the fucking wall. Down on the right side of the shaft, just above the head, it itched like a motherfucker. I’ve had the occasional isolated itch before, but nothing like this. Had the Geneva Convention considered enforced male chastity, itchiness of this magnitude would have been banned by all civilized nations.

I sent an email to Belle who I figured might be getting ready for bed on her side of the planet saying, in short, I need that key. Every day so far that she’s been gone, she’s called at about 7:00 AM while the kids were getting ready for school, but not today. Of course, not today. And no response to my email. I proceeded to turn the house over looking for that key. Good news, I suppose, is she didn’t leave it in any of her previous hiding places. Regardless, after a short while, I lucked-out and found the key inside a thing in a drawer in the kitchen. As quickly as possible, I was in her bedroom, pulling the device from my body.

Besides the itchy patch, I can see at least three other spots where the skin has been irritated and rubbed raw. In addition, there’s another of those weird little penis pimple things forming on the glans. Basically, the inside of the chrome tube is just not finished very well. There’s apparent overspray from the painting process that, as I mentioned right after I got it, leaves the interior unacceptably rough for long-term wear. A day or three doesn’t seem to be an issue, but I’m going on a week and a half now and the damage has been done. Besides the roughness, it also continues to rub color onto my skin turning it black in spots (and, apparently, causing penis pimples).

Yeah, real fucking sexy.

Were I not damaged, I’d put the old clear tube back on and try to forget about the key. The Steelheart is winging its way back to the Fatherland for a smaller ring, so it’s no help. In any event, I’m in no condition to be packing plastic at the moment. Maybe in a few days, but not now. Funny thing is, I may as well still be locked up since, in its current state, playing with the damned thing would be too painful.

Belle’s dream

Belle woke up Sunday morning to tell me about a dream she just had. In it, I had taken some kind of drug or something that had caused the cock and testicles to detach from my body (separately) and “slink off” onto the bed where they curled up next to each other. Also, I was mad because we were going somewhere and I was getting dressed in a loud plaid shirt with a reversible belt that was a matching plaid on one side and a solid color on the other. I was upset over not knowing which side of the belt to wear with the shirt, but not so much that my reproductive organs were napping on the bed like two little kittens.

Dreams are weird, man.

Four (mostly) unrelated things

Here’s a post that starts on the other end of the day.

Belle usually wakes up kinda early. Five-thirty, or thereabouts, and once up, she immediately gets on her computer and starts clickity-clacking. I’ve trained myself to fall back asleep after her alarm (and first snooze, and second snooze, and third snooze) goes off, usually by snuggling up against her while she replies to all the email she’s picked up overnight.

This morning was a little different. For whatever reason, I woke up and didn’t find her sitting up with her laptop. Even in my groggy state, I realized it was a rare opportunity for some mid-week morning snuggle time and wrapped myself around her (of course, in a way that respected her personage and all that).

She laid there, stroking my head, and said, “Thanks for putting me in charge, Thumpie.” Just like that. Thanks for putting me in charge. I hadn’t said boo to her up to that point. It was entirely unsolicited.

I was dealing with the typical morning chastity tube issues, but upon hearing these words, my issues were suddenly bigger (or trying to be). Besides the physical reaction, I felt a surge of warm excitement fill my chest. I embraced her harder, kissed her, then pressed my face into her. She made me very happy.

Minutes later, she was up and the clickity-clack had started. I had rolled off and was laying next to her on my back, tenting out the covers regardless of the plastic contraption. I was thinking of getting out of bed, but before I did, she placed her foot on my left hip and burrowed her toes into the space between my inner thigh and nuts. And she just left it there. On the one hand, it was just her foot – nothing special. On the other hand, I’m more than three weeks denied, so any contact with my nakedness is cause for attention. Also, I felt pinned. I’m quite sure I was projecting into her action, but to me and the nice buzzy headspace which her earlier comment had created, it felt like a very possessive, almost aggressive move. Of course I wasn’t physically pinned by her, but mentally – emotionally – I felt as though she was directing me to stay where I was. So I did.

The previous evening, she related an exchange she had with a couple of female coworkers. One of them had been complaining that she resorted to giving herself pedicures and was unhappy with the result.

“You should make your husband paint your nails,” Belle suggested.

She then told them that she did, in fact, have her husband paint her nails. The one with the ugly toenails said she would have her husband paint them, to which Belle responded, “You might find it turns you on.”

Zing!

I have to admit, the first thing to go through my mind when she related this to me was concern that they’d get the wrong idea and think I was [fill in your choice of submissive male negative stereotypes], but then decided I like that fact that I had given her something to brag about in front of her friends. Who cares what they think? They probably think she’s lucky. I hope she feels that way, too.

Dev’s recent post about her potentially doing things in bed more for the benefit of her partners rather than herself touches on something I find myself worrying about with Belle. Specifically, that she has done so much to help me make several of my sexual fantasies a reality and I have done basically nothing to help her achieve hers.

Which is not to say I haven’t tried. I asked her a little while back (about the time I wrote about how her having a boyfriend would turn me on) what her fantasies were. What’s the craziest thing she’s ever wanted to do because I want to help her do it.

Something vaguely about another woman. Nothing specific. Not like, I want to fuck a girl. No, it was just kinda sorta a fuzzy thing about another girl. Maybe kissing one. Not actually doing anything. Just…a girl. She had to pick the one thing I couldn’t do for her since, you know, I’m a boy.

It’s hard for me relate since my fantasies are so very specific (“No, this goes there, that goes over there, and then you do this with it, unless it’s Tuesday, in which case…”). I don’t vaguely do anything in my fantasies. Mine are epic Ben Hur-like productions with extras and period costume and herd animals and massive sets.

So anyway, I know that Belle’s getting lots of great orgasms and everything but I want to fulfill her not just physically, but also mentally. I want her to live her imaginary fuck. But, you know…it’s just this girl.

I’m getting my hair cut this afternoon when my guy (who, of course, is gay) and I overhear someone else and their client talking about a new tattoo the client got and we both look trying to get a peek but we can’t see anything (which is unfortunate). Then he asks me if I have any tattoos.

“Not yet,” I reply. Belle’s already told me she wants me to get the thing she drew on my ass tattooed there, but I haven’t done anything about it. Not that I’m opposed, I just haven’t gotten around to it. In any event, he’s kind of surprised by this. That I would get a tattoo.

So I tell him I’d be more than happy to modify my body more than I have, but my job kinda makes that difficult (since I’m often trying to talk relatively conservative people into give me large sums of money). Then he tells me that the other guy with the tatted-up client has a boyfriend who’s thinking of getting a piercing.

“You know,” he says, “down there,” motioning with his scissors toward his navel.

“What kind?” I ask innocently.

“The kind that goes through the you know…”

“A Prince Albert?”

“Yes!” he hisses.

Maybe I’m jaded since I come here and frankly discuss dicks and pussies and physical beatings and all kinds of raunchy kinky shit, but I suddenly found it incredibly funny that I was having a conversation with this grown up gay man in which he couldn’t bring himself to use real words to talk about cocks. Also, I had to make a choice. I, of course, know a whole lot about being pierced down there. Should I spill the beans? I mean, if you can’t talk to your gay hair stylist about your genital piercing, who can you talk to about it?

So, as he was wrinkling up his nose at the prospect of not having sex for a whole month after you get it done, I dropped it on him.

“What?” he said, as though he hadn’t heard me.

“I have one of those. A Prince Albert.”

WHAT!?!” he exclaimed, blushing deeply. It was hilarious.

Then, of course, the questions came pouring out. How much did it hurt, does it make sex better, what’s it like peeing, did I do it before or after having children, etc., etc. He also wanted to know if you got hard during the piercing. I told him getting hard was the last thing that was gonna happen during the event.

In retrospect, this was quite clearly the longest conversation I’ve ever had about penises (mostly the one on me) with a man I had never and would never have sex with.

HNThumper III

“Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, ‘What the fuck.’ ‘What the fuck’ gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.” – Risky Business (1983)

WTF or not, I acknowledge that I may be doing this wrong. I may have crossed a line. I dunno. I’m trying to be arty and as non-porn-like as possible. I’m trying not to be obvious. I don’t know. You tell me. Too much? Am I too hung up on the whole cock thing? I guess on the plus side, no underwear this time!

I’m putting this one behind the jump because it’s way NSFW. Also, a note to the potentially squeamish: if genital piercing squicks you out, don’t bother.

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Cut me, Mick.

Belle gave me a signal on Friday that she was going to let me out on Sunday. To be honest, when I know my release is imminent, I start to lose patience with wearing the device. As long as the release date is nebulous and uncertain, I’m able to maintain an attitude that allows her to keep me locked-up indefinitely. I knew (or, at least, was fairly certain) she was going to let me out by Thursday before I left on my trip, but once I knew the actual date, I really started counting minutes.

In any event, the package was nice and tight Sunday morning when I got up to help relieve some pressure. Belle stopped me before I left the room and removed her lock from where it had hung for all but 15 minutes over the previous two weeks. In the bathroom, I slid my still-swollen member from the tube. The feeling of slithering out of the thing after a long period (and especially when more than a little erect) is hard to describe, but the sudden onrush of sensation on sensorially-deprived flesh with so many tightly-packed nerve endings is dramatic. The cock looked more than a little like Rocky Balboa in that scene when he asks Mickey to cut him. Red, shiny, puffy in odd spots (where the shaft is exposed between the ring and the tube, where it protrudes through the vents, and where the head balloons through the slot in the end), and generally somewhat disfigured from the angle of the tube and the presence of the KSD-G3. He looked a mess, but little trooper that he is, was ready for action (not unlike the Italian Stallion). After I wiped a week of tubal grime off of it, I went back into her bedroom.

“It looks so weird to me like that now,” she said after instructing me to remove my pajama bottoms. “I’m used to it being all locked up in plastic.”

“Yeah, me too,” was all I could muster in response.

Moments later, I was lapping at her nipples and fingering her and wondering when she was going to make use of her recently available toy. She rolled me over and mounted the battered yet unbeaten (literally) meat. The warmth of her took my breath away. I focused on her breasts and thought about anything other than how wonderful it felt to have her moving over her cock. Apparently, it felt good to her, too.

“This is what I wanted,” she whispered in my ear, “to feel my cock…”

It’s the talking that always does it to me. I can stay in my little zone, but once she starts talking, I lose my concentration.

She started to chant, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…” as she approached orgasm.

That did it. I was so close, too.

“Oh no. Oh no, I’m going to come!” I warned, “If you don’t stop, I’m going to…”

“Come with me,” she said, finishing my sentence, “Come (thrust)…with (thrust)…me…”

And I did. And it was glorious. My first really enjoyable orgasm in two months. I didn’t even try to stop it. I just let the feeling wash over and out of me and into her. I emptied myself in a half dozen fat, juicy squirts.

PA cable project est morte

I put a bullet in the head of the brief-yet-storied PA cable project this morning. I cut the fucker off as soon as I got out of bed. At least for how I’m configured, I can’t see any way a cable through my PA ring will ever work as a permanent security measure. It’s just too painful, in the supernotsexy way. Either the ring is pulling on the piercing or the cable itself is poking into the spongy tissue of the penis head or pinching my scrotum or whatever. Maybe if you’re the kind of guy who’s flaccid state is on the longer side (a shower rather than a grower), it’d work. But if you’re like me and often see the resting version of your little buddy only filling about 60% of the CB6K tube, I think it’s a no go.

Belle unlocked me before she left for work so I could install the smaller A ring and the KSD-G3. I took the opportunity to clean myself and the device, shave, etc. As I withdrew the penis from the tube, I saw gobs of clear, thick fluid. And it just kept coming. I was careful not to handle the merchandise any more than necessary (I didn’t even get an erection), but the precum just kept leaking and leaking. I don’t know – maybe a tablespoon? It was crazy. Even now, 90 minutes later, I can feel little burps of the stuff oozing out every once in a while. So, uh, yeah. I’d say I’m pretty focused at the moment.

Anyway, I’m way over trying to wire the device to myself and am now content with having a pretty secure device as opposed to a totally secure one.

Unwired

I cut the wire off. The pain was getting worse and more frequent so I didn’t really have much choice. I’m pretty sure I know what happened, though. I’m currently wearing a 6ga segment ring in my PA instead of my old 8ga captive ball ring. The segment ring, when assembled, looks like a continuous and (mostly) smooth ring. In the case of mine (and maybe all of them) there remains a very small gap between the segment and the ring into which it snaps. While the ring is in, it rotates freely through the piercing. Sometimes the segment disappears into the head of the cock, sometimes it’s visible.

Insert tab A into slot B

Insert tab A into slot B

Well, what I think happened was that the gap between the segment and the ring, when rotated into the head of the dick, was being pulled against the incredibly sensitive tissue in there when the shaft was trying to retract. The edges of the ring are actually pretty sharp (sharper than they appear in the picture). I wasn’t being pinched as much as I was getting cut. Owie. So anyway, the wire’s off and I haven’t felt anything except during the night and this morning when I was fully engorged (“erect” doesn’t seem like the right word). Well see how the day goes. Belle (and the key) gets back Monday night. If I feel like I need to remove the ring, I’ll need to stage a breakout from the CB6K. I really have no idea if I can get the entire thing off when it’s locked. Hopefully, I won’t need to find out.

In the future, I’ll either need to make the wire a little longer so it doesn’t pull at all or I’ll need to get a 6ga captive ball ring. On the one hand, it won’t have any exposed sharp edges like the segment does, but on the other hand, the ball will keep everything from moving as freely and will eat up just that much more internal volume from the tube (which already gets a little crowded). I won’t be trying anything for at least a week, though. Even if I’m not dealing with little cuts and it’s only abraded and raw, I need time to heal.

Pinch pinch

Well, maybe I spoke too soon when I gave my homebrew PA cable the old Thumper seal of approval. Today, I’m getting sporadic, intense pinching sensations from the area around the piercing. Like right now ouch ouch ouchouchOUCH!

pinch

Figure 1 (just like a biology textbook)

OK, it stopped. Kinda. I think this is being caused by one of two things. It could be that the piercing is being aggravated by some pulling. Even though it has a lot more leeway from the cable sliding in and out of the tube, there is still a minor amount of pulling. If the cable went in about a quarter inch more, it’d be better. The other, and I think more likely, option is that the segment ring is pinching some of my skin on the little lip caused by the flared “penis head” shape of the CB-6000 tube. Once in a while, this area swells a little while I’m locked up and I’m experiencing that now. This pinching is not a new sensation. I’ve felt it occasionally when wearing a curved bar bell, but it’s always passed fairly quickly. Now, though, it appears as though the wire holding the ring will allow it to retreat just enough to pinch a wad skin on that little ridge – and hold it there. In any event, this is not the good kind of pain. It’s the “oh Jesus, get this thing off of me” kind of pain. I’m going to give it to the end of the day and see if it gets better. I might have to cut the wire off. That would suck, big time.

Meanwhile, I’m horny as a phrynosoma platyrhinos. Once the offspring were down for the count last night, I spent the better part of the evening reading chastity and denial porn (which, by the way, is even more formulaic than normal porn) and otherwise making myself hot and bothered. When I’m alone like that, I feel as though I can get myself so turned on than I could ignite a match just by holding it between my fingers. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I think the new cable actually enhanced my arousal. In the past, I’ve always known in the back of my mind that I was choosing to leave the device in place, but now I know that I have no choice at all. It’s way. Fucking. Hotter.

Eventually, I decided to try to sleep (since, of course, I was never going to be able to alleviate my condition) and I just laid there, tossing and turning. I was afraid of repeating that horrible night last time Belle was absent when my abject horniness kept me awake for a day and a half, but, with the help of my iPhone and a relaxing noise generator app, eventually drifted off. My sleep was fitfull. The CB6K seemed to be straining all night long. Regardless, I know I’ll do it to myself all over again tonight.

Wired

A while back, I got a PA security cable from Kept For Her. As I said at the time, I couldn’t wear it due to the stress it put on my piercing by keeping the cock fully extended to the end of the CB6K’s tube. However, the thought of finding a way to make my incarceration undefeatable has stuck with me. Actually, it’s less of a thought and more of an obsession.

But why? I’ve taken umbrage against those who feel the need to have a perfectly secure way to lock up cocks. I’ve said, and still feel, the number one most effective security device when it comes to controlling the orgasms of any man in between his ears. Everything else is just window dressing. I don’t need my chastity device to keep from coming, but I like wearing it for other reasons (mostly having to do with my bondage kink). So no, I haven’t remained obsessed with higher security chastity because I can’t be controlled, but because I find it incredibly fucking hot.

As I mentioned, the biggest problem I found with KFH’s cable is that it held my captive ball ring in place way down at the end of the CB6K, even when the cock it was pierced through wanted to move up and down the tube. Normal penis movement is managed through the contraction and release of a ligament, so it can really start to pull and get very uncomfortable. Any man who’s been in a CB-X000 device knows his meat shortens and lengthens leaving the tube sometimes full (even without an erection) and sometimes only half-full (or even less).

So I wondered what would happen if the cable used to secure the ring were longer and could withdraw into the tube as the penis it was tending pulled back. Since the KFH’s cable is too thick to bend, I, in my very best imitation of Tom Allen, took off to my local Home Depot.

Man, how many pictures are you trying to hang, anyway?

Man, how many pictures are you trying to hang, anyway?

I procured two options, both in the picture hanging section. The first is called “invisible wire” and is basically a thick plastic filament. The other is 30 lbs. coated picture wire. I was unwilling to open either package in the store to find out their bendability, so decided to buy them both. Upon opening the invisible wire, I found it to be very stiff – even stiffer than than the KFH cable. There’s no way it would be able to go up the tube. The coated picture wire, though, was very bendable. Not so flexible that it would, all by itself, bend through the CB6K’s slot as the penis pulled it back, but it’s very good at holding a bend and isn’t too thick to fit inside the slot.

ferrule

The other thingamajig I picked up were aluminum ferrules to secure the loops on each end that hook on to the padlock. The KFH cable uses thinner brass ferrules to secure their loops, but I couldn’t find those at Home Depot. I would have preferred them since they’re quite a bit thinner than the aluminum ones I got, but the Home Depot version isn’t so much bigger that it makes much difference.

The KFH cable, it turns out, is about the right length for what I wanted. At first, I assumed I’d need something longer, but all that extra cable just gets caught and otherwise in the way. My second attempt was almost exactly the same length as KPH’s design. I threaded the cable through the ferrules, and then back through them again to make a loop, crimped them shut with Vice Grips, and cut off the excess. When inserted through my PA’s 6ga segment ring and bent around the ring so it’s able to enter the slot and extend into the tube by about half an inch, it’s just about perfect. When the dick moves down or I’m hard, the cable slides out. When the dick retracts, the cable slides in. I hardly know it’s there. Total cost, less than $5.

Now, the CB6K is absolutely secure. There’s no way whatsoever for me to defeat it, short of cutting the wire and then pulling out. Since I’m only at day two of my current stint, I haven’t felt that urge to claw at the device yet, but I can already feel little electric thrills run through me when I stop and consider there’s no way to get it off.

Yeah, that’s hot.

Five and five-eighths

Ranat over on Beyond the Hills posted a terrific rant entitled Big Cocks and Why They Are Stupid. Here’s a sample:

Oh, and let us segue into the idiotic myth of the infinitely stretchy continuum of the vagina that can somehow magically accommodate anything. Reality check: it ends. Ultimately, the vagina has a finite length. You hit the cervix, squeeze into the deep spots on the side, and you’re done. Can’t go any farther. I can only speak from personal experience, as I have not put anything up anyone else’s cunt but my own, but to tell you more about my internal proportions than you ever wanted to know, more than five inches? Impossible. Utterly. Five. Inches. Four on a sore day. Five and a quarter on a particularly stretchy day. Do you have any idea how annoying it is that the standard size for dildos is seven inches?!?!?

This tickles me for a number of reasons. First, it makes me recall a question once posited by my boyfriend in high school. I paraphrase, but it went something along the lines of since guys are so hung up on length, do you suppose girls sit around and talk about depth? He also says I at one time said my dick was bigger than his and I suppose I may have said this, but I honestly have no recollection of it, and besides, he’s extraordinarily well proportioned, so I don’t know why I’d make such a demonstrably wrong comment. Usually, when I say things that are wrong, I try to make them difficult if not impossible to prove. It’s kinda stupid to be laying in bed with a guy and say your boner’s longer than his when, well, they’re right there.

The other reason I find Ranat’s rant funny is I was just measuring my erect penis the other day. I know this sounds fishy, but I had a really good reason. As I’ve mentioned a few times, I’m seriously hung up on this idea that Belle will someday make me fuck her with a strap-on while I’m in chastity. To that end, I was dildo shopping and trying to find one that more or less matched my size (like Ranat, Belle is disinterested in a seven-inch wonder schlong). For those keeping score at home, this one’s not too far off.

Whilst measuring, I was surprised to find I was not as long as I thought I was. To the best of my recollection, I am six inches long. The handful of times I had measured before, I was always six inches on the nose (or whatever). This time, I was about five and five-eighths. I have to admit, this bothered me, even though Belle (the only person who really matters) finds it to be a perfect five and five-eighths. In fact, it’s been the perfect length for every women I’ve ever been with. I can even remember tickling a few cervixes, so anything more would have been too much, which is exactly what Ranat was saying to begin with. I’m also comforted by the fact that, according to Wikipedia, I am positioned at the very tip top of the bell curve when it comes to erect length and girth. Yay for normal distribution.

So, the old boyfriend’s question and Ranat’s post got me wondering what the average female depth is. Turns out the average aroused vagina is between five and six inches long. In other words, perfect for my Mr. Winky. But what’s really funny is how differently vaginal depth and penis length are discussed on Wikipedia. There is exactly one paragraph (that I could find) dealing with vaginal depth. And here it is:

The human vagina is an elastic muscular canal that extends from the cervix to the vulva. Although there is wide anatomical variation, the length of the unaroused vagina is approximately 6 to 7.5 cm (2.5 to 3 in) across the anterior wall (front), and 9 cm (3.5 in) long across the posterior wall (rear). During sexual arousal the vagina expands in both length and width. Its elasticity allows it to stretch during sexual intercourse and during birth to offspring. The vagina connects the superficial vulva to the cervix of the deep uterus.

Notice no mention of what the aroused state’s length is, just that it gets longer when wet. Keep in mind that that paragraph is just a small part of the main vagina article. Now, contrast that with the penis. Penis length has been dedicated an entire article all its own. It has ten (count ‘em, ten) sections. How to measure the penis, studies on its size, its size at birth, how its size changes with age, differences between flaccid and erect lengths (with pictures), how to enlarge it through surgery, historical, modern, and popular perceptions of its size, etc., etc. I mean, come on guys! Obsess much?

Turns out, there is an approved way to measure one’s penis and I wasn’t using it the other day. It’s entirely possible I am six inches or I’m only five and a half. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Just like Mary Poppins, it’s practically perfect in very way.

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