How I know I’m not gay

I love pussy. That’s it, really. How I know I am totally not gay. I’d save my 20-year-old self so much angst if I could only travel back to point out to him (along with a firm smack on the side of the head) that someone who loves pussy as much as me could not ever be gay. Gay guys might have, at one point in their lives, put up with pussy or might still, from time to time, dip their pen in that colored ink for variety, but a truly gay guy, as Dan Savage points out, is just not into pussy. Period.

I say this because while I was gone, I got this text message from Belle:

Want to sit on your face

And I’m like, WOOF. Yes. Sit on my face! Oh, wait. I’m like a thousand miles away. Fuck.

So I got home Saturday and, even though she let me out of the Looker 02 (which I kept on the entire time I was gone, BTW), she did, in fact, sit on my motherfucking face. And it was awesome. Because, as I said, I fucking love pussy. Especially Belle’s. And you can’t experience more pussy than when it’s grinding into your face.

Funny thing is, Belle seems kind of tentative about doing it. She asked me if I really liked it. Yes, I really do. Maybe you didn’t notice, Belle, but whilst you were astride my face the penis was boned out like a little flagpole. Plus, you know, I’ve only posted about a hundred face-sitting images on the porn farm (such as). I love the whole dynamic. Feeling her hips gyrating over my mouth, her fluids running down my chin, the sensation that I’ve turned into a masturbatory device. The fact that she’s on top. No need to feel weird about it, sweetie. Sit on my fucking face twice a day if you want.

After the face-sitting (which I loved…have I mentioned?), she let me fuck her and it was glorious. The next day, I got to get her off again and, while warming her up, I said something about how I wanted to jack off since it’s been, like, forever since she let me.

“Why don’t you put that energy into me,” she suggested. And I did. But when she was done (using Pink this time), she didn’t let me go for a ride. No reason. Told me I had already had a good time the day before and, don’t forget, I’m not the one who decides when I fuck her. Not by a long shot. And of course, jacking off was not in the cards, either. Inside, the subbie bunny part of me was totally buzzing but the reptile in me was seething. A real man would just take her, it suggested. Just fuck her. But I’m not that man. So the bobbing boner was left to deflate all on its own. Not sure it completely has yet, come to think of it.

Before I left, Belle said something about sending me to a pro domme. I can’t remember the context in which she said it, but she was suggesting there were things I wanted she wasn’t all that into giving me. I assume she’s talking about bondage and hitty stuff. In fact, I’m not that into the idea of a pro domme if for no other reason than I can’t imagine submitting to a woman who’s not Belle. Trying to split my submission like that with another female just doesn’t seem to compute to me.

But. Not being gay and totally digging pussy aside, it occurred to me while driving for hours on end that I’d really be into seeing a dom. Being tied up and beat by a dude? Used and abused by someone with a cock? Oh, hell yeah. I’d really like that. But there’s no such thing, as far as I can tell, as pro doms. I mean, maybe there’s a few. Here and there. Or in NYC where all kinky shit originates. But in the Midwest? Doubtful. So it’d probably look more like a “play partner” kind of deal. And who’d want one whose penis is permanently padlocked? And that’s not what she said anyway. And she was probably only joking. So I should probably stop thinking about it.

In other news, I’m still unlocked nearly 48 hours after getting home. She didn’t feel like dealing with putting me in last night and must have forgotten this morning. I was in the L02 for three weeks and, for those curious about devices with urethral inserts, I can tell you it only got more comfortable over time. By the third week, I could barely tell it was in there. Only little issue I had was after I took it off and tried getting my 4ga ring back in the PA that had been empty all those weeks. Things had started to close up, but I was able to get them stretched back out easily enough.

I expect she’ll use the Steelheart now since it’s her favorite, but she might toss me a curve and pull out the Jail Bird. Who knows? Not me.

12 thoughts on “How I know I’m not gay

  1. Hm…not to send you back to your 20s angst, but you do realize liking pussy doesn’t stop you from being bi? And there is nothing wrong with being into pussy AND curious about what it would be like to be dominated by a man?

    FWIW, there are a few pro-maleDoms out there, but if you are comfortable finding a male dom who isn’t a pro you’ll have better luck. There’s nothing stopping a male dom who is into male subs from liking chastity.

    1. No, I’m totally bi. 100%. Pure Kinsey 3 (with occasional oscillations towards 2 and 4). I’ve had boyfriends and the whole meal deal. Emotionally, I’m oriented toward women. Sexually, I’d let anything fuck me. For wherever reason, I’m not that into the idea of being dominated by another woman, but by a guy? Yeah, that’s a turn on fer sure.

  2. Yeah, pussy… There are just so many things that make it better than cock. It’s warm and moist, hidden away, waiting to be found again, and the aroma and taste… Shit! “Honey bunch…? Are you busy right now? Let’s hit the sack early… Whadayasay, Babes?”

    The very best thing about it… It’s an integral part of this woman, this very loving woman, who shares your/my life…

  3. I’m a bit confused. I didn’t know there was ever any question as to whether or not Thumper was gay. You would think all the pussy licking and fucking (when Bella allows it) would be evidence to the contrary.

    1. Of course there’s no confusion. Well, not for a long time, anyway. It was just an interesting vector into a post I thought of while driving and listing to Savage Love.

  4. I guess I’d bet in a town as gay as this one, you could find a male pro or play partner who is willing to top, be agressive, in a way that would push some good buttons for you. The married bi guy looking for something raw on the side is classic.

    And I doubt the chastity thing would even be a surprise. Lots of guys out there looking to be very submissive in their m2m encounters. If Belle gives you a green, I’d take it to Grindr and see what happens.

      1. for me, you’re not a flower, but a button that will not bloom in a green steel, and a green always used to put something in value, isnt it?
        when to know if you are 100% gay, I’m sure absolutement not; but 100% straight, I doubt it. Just look at your porfolio. But is it really a problem?
        when the sugestion your “Belle”, I do not think it was just a joke. the image that I made about ​​your “Belle” through your blog is that she is a very sensitive, intelligent woman, open-minded and listen to your needs. I think she read you from the beginning of your meeting, and it is you she has chosed. I think she planted a seed in you to enable you to flourish…

      2. 100% straight, I doubt it. Just look at your porfolio. But is it really a problem?

        No, I’m totally, 100% pure bisexual. Always have been. No problem whatsoever.

      3. We’re all special flowers! I lost a whole long reply here, so this might be more to the point. My experience is that gay men need the archtypes to get laid. We’d get lost wo the hankie code and visual stereotypes…first in a sea of straightfolk, then even in the gay bar w guys who wouldn’t work for our kink, etc. We tell classic stories that are easy to recognize to find the men for whom our special features will actually be significant.

        As another guy who won’t get to experiment, I’m sorry to hear you won’t either. I would have really enjoyed hearing the story. But I get what Belle said… For all the reasons I think about things, there are always the reasons it stays as just dreams.

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