Verb to noun

Tom can’t remember the last time he came.

I get that. I only remember the last time I came because it was a little over two weeks ago. Before that? No idea. Honestly, not a clue.

In the case of Tom and Mrs, Edge…

We didn’t intentionally set out to do this, we just sort of… ended up here because we were having such a good time doing what we were doing. And as a result, it’s looking as if my last orgasm, as the joke goes, may well actually be my last orgasm.

I used to think a lot about when I last came and when she’d make me do it again and please could it be longer and gosh won’t that be hot? But somewhere along the way, it just stopped happening with any kind of regularity. And we stopped talking about it. And now, when Venus is in the house of whatever the fuck, she tells me to come and I do. But they’re months and months apart.

A while back, I stopped tracking them. I used to. I used to track everything. I still keep track of what I’m locked in and when, but only because I have an app for that. There’s a point at which it becomes meaningless. Chastity and denial stop being about the things they keep from happening and keep contained and start being about the lack of the things. When it stops being a verb and becomes a noun. Not a thing you’re doing, but a thing you are.

Oh, back to that again.

It’s not that she doesn’t like or crave penetrative sex. She does. But I’m really not good at it any more and the once or twice a month she lets me go inside her is more a treat for me than it is about pleasuring her. Maybe she’ll come to appreciate a way to scratch that itch that doesn’t require the penis. Maybe she already has. But not quite yet. So I find myself inside her every once in a while and a small fraction of those times, she feels like feeling me come. And then I do. And after that, it’s back to normal.

Someday, perhaps she won’t tell me to come again. If so, that’s how the end of orgasms for me would happen. Not declaratively, but quietly. Almost as an oversight. And by the time either of us realize it’s happened, it’ll also be obvious they’re not required. Or missed.

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