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That was fast…

Turns out, the free version of Survey Monkey only allows me to see the first 100 responses. Even though there are more than that, I can’t see them unless I cough up $200. It’s not that I don’t love you all, but it’s not worth $200 for me to see the extra responses. I’m sure you understand.

The good news is, 100 respondents in 24 hours totally blows away the response from last year (if not in quantity, at least in rapidity). Without any more ado, here we go…

1. As what gender do you identify?

This is remarkably consistent. Two years ago, it was 70% male, last year it was 72%. This year, 69%. Interestingly, it seems to me that if I were only to go by the comments I get, I’d assume there were many more women. Perhaps they’re just more willing to talk back to me than the guys.

2. What is your age?

Most of you are between the ages of 24 and 45 (65%) while another 26% are 46-65. Two said they were older than 65 and 7 younger than 24. I say good for both the young and the old. Those numbers are slightly younger than last year. Fifty-six percent were between 24 and 45. That’s essentially what it was two years ago, too.

3. How do you identify, kink-wise?

Fifty-three percent of you say you’re subs and only 11% say your dominant. Twenty-nine percent are switch and 22% mark yourselves as “curious”. Five percent are either other or not kinky. If you’re not kinky, why are you here? And if you’re other, what the hell are you? These numbers are also quite consistent from the past two years.

4. Do you or your partner wear a chastity device or have you or any of your partners ever worn a device in the past?

Fifty-seven percent say yes, 42% say no. That’s slightly higher than last year’s 52%. They types worn are about what you’d expect. Lots of CB-x000 plastic and, among the steel types, mostly Mature Metal and Steelworxx. Lori got in there a few times as did the various silicone devices. Very few said they’ve worn a full belt. The famous line from The Graduate is apparently still true today.

5. On a scale of 1 to 10, how kinky would you say you are?

Two years ago, the average response was 6.7 and last year it was 6.4. This year, it’s 7.0. Nobody said they were a one and only two said they were a two. Seven percent rated themselves as Kinkosaurous Rex.

6. Where would you place yourself on the Kinsey Scale?

The average response to this was 1.29 and 1.39 in each of the past years. This time, it’s shot up to 1.67! Hey, it’s progress! It was helped out by a record 11 people who said they were exclusively homosexual. This turns me on because I think gay chastity would be really fucking hot. In any event, as has been the case previously, I’m at least twice as gay as the average one of you.

7. How much do you enjoy (or not) reading the following types of posts on Denying Thumper?

I won’t give you all the numbers because it’s quite the eye chart, but “Descriptions of chastity/denial’s effects on Thumper’s emotional and physical state” is, by far, the most popular content. The least popular is HNThumper, but that’s not going anywhere. I like to show off.

8. How often do you visit or read Denying Thumper?

A larger number than ever read my blog via an RSS syndicator, so this question is becoming less relevant, but 76% of you said once a day or a few times a week. One of you said it was your first time. Hi, newbie!

9. Comments!

In the open-ended comment box, I received the usual number of “atta boys” which are, as usual, very nice to read and greatly appreciated. Here are a few I chose to pull out, some with my reply.

What I like most, and what I come back for, is to hear ‘how things are going for you’… it is non-specific and covers a wide range of your posts. It is interesting to get inside someone else’s head and relationship and hear your honest account of it, and obviously the impact of chastity on all this is key to how you process things

I don’t know how I stumbled across the blog, through the portfolio I suspect. But the thoughtful level of the writing, as well as learning about something completely new & outside of my experience is what keeps me coming back to read you

Find the dynamics absolutely fascinating. Personally, have great problems with depression which has killed the sex drive almost completely.. wonder sometimes if I went into chastity.. what that would do to the headspace.. both sex and depression. It certainly seems to affect yours in a major way!! Keep up the good work !!

Chastity and depression. Hmm. I don’t know enough about depression to be able to comment in a more than cursory way, but I’d be afraid of messing with already touchy brain chemistry. It’s sometimes a huge mind-fuck to be chaste as I am and it’s caused me to feel temporary bouts of depression. It does, though, do wonders on the sex drive!

You have the gift to capture the emotional complexity of chastity into words on paper. You make it look easy to explain what is going on. Thank you for sharing that gift with us!

It’s not always easy and I don’t always feel like I’m doing all of it justice, but it’s a real pleasure to hear that others are enjoying it.

How about an “Ask Belle” post, where we ask questions and she answers them later on?

There were a few comments along this line. Fortunately, Belle has agreed to answer specific questions from my readers every once in a while. But not yet – I’ll let you know when you can ask. She says she reserves the right to answer as many as she wants to, though.

Once again I’d like to say that your site is great and has helped me figure out my own brand of denial. Great stuff.

Everyone’s brand is different. I’m thrilled you’ve figured out yours!

I enjoy your blog very much and look forward to updates. I wish you would reply to comments more regularly. I like interacting with the blog’s author.

Yes, I’m not very good at that recently. Honestly, since The Troubles I’ve not been overly interested in being social on sites like Chastity Forums or even here with my readers. I feel as though some of that is getting easier for me now, so it won’t appear as though I’m being stand-offish much longer. Also, some comments from readers don’t actually require me to say anything in response. Hopefully, I’m not coming off as rude. I really do appreciate comments from my readers.

I’d only like to say thank you for your open honesty about your personal journey. Your blog voice is extremely listen-worthy and is what drew me in to the idea of chastity. You “normalized” the concept. I really dislike the term “normal”, but compared to the more outlandish side of this kink called chastity – that’s what description fits best.

It should be normal, shouldn’t it?

I am 72 and beyond being able to have a voluntary erection but have been teasing my wife about her having me in chastity. I need a little motivation to do her bidding. I love to go down on her ( she gets multiple organisms before she dismisses me ) and want her to tie me up but she is so reluctant to do so. I read all the posts you distribute.

Sir, you are an inspiration to me. Truly. Thank you for your comment! I hope she’ll start tying you up soon! Maybe try cuffs and straps. They’re a little easier to finagle than ropes and knots.

Any chance of a HNT Belle?

I am told there is not a chance in hell of that happening. Sorry!

I haven’t read your complete blog, but I was wondering if you two have ever tried one of those dildo harnesses that allow a man in a chastity device to service his partner via vaginal-dildo(inal?) penetration? Reading about the few times that Belle’s allowed Thumper a very quick orgasm in her, I’m curious whether penetration just isn’t that big of a thing for Belle or if Thumper’s franticness during those times of release are entertaining enough. Thanks for sharing this part of your lives with us, and good luck to you both!

Regarding strap-ons, check this out. Penetration is a big deal to her, but I’m apparently very good at getting her off in other ways. Were it possible, I’m sure she’d prefer her cock over anything else, but life is about trade-offs.

As a female only “incidentally heterosexual” (I like that phrase and will be stealing it), it’s interesting to me how much I enjoy reading your writing. I don’t regularly read any other chastity blogs, but something about your style and honesty has really caught my interest, and yeah, turns me on. Maybe by next year I’ll figure out exactly why. Keep it up!

I’ve enjoyed following Belle’s growth in her role as your domme, particularly when she throws something unexpected at you (virtual chastity!). I went back to the beginning and read the whole blog, and lord knows you guys had some rough patches. I applaud your perseverance and wish you continued happiness.

The whole thing! Imagine.

If you left me a comment sometime today, chances are I didn’t get it due to Survey Monkey’s cut-off. If you really want me to get it, please use the feedback form.

Thanks to everyone who participated! It was fun, wasn’t it?

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Do egrets regret?

Looking through the survey responses, this question popped out from the several comments left at the end:

Do you ever regret choosing orgasm control?

Absolutely not. Zero percent. Nada. My only regret is that we could not have started it earlier. Like, maybe the night of our first date.

Which is not to say it’s always been easy. It hasn’t. Read some of the older blog entries and see for yourself. But right now, it’s all been more than worth it because my heart is filled with love, devotion, gratitude, and a sense that I am unbelievably lucky. I feel this quite keenly.

Speaking of the survey, it’s already received nearly as many responses in its first day as it did last year and nearly twice as many as it got in the first year. I probably won’t keep it open for a couple weeks as planned, so if you’re game, go take it now the survey is closed!

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Penis weaponization

The incomparable Ferns, in reference to the pictures I posted of the Steelheart Short in comparison to our original Steelheart, said:

I find it interesting that there is no ego in this. If it were me (and I actually *had* a cock and was going to wear a device and and… etc), I can imagine looking in the mirror and going ‘Well, *this* one makes my cock look like an awesome shiny weapon!! Huzzah!… whereas *this* one makes it look kind of short and stubby…”

Of course, now that I have given it a little thought, I do *exactly* this with strapons… “Awesome shiny weapon!! Huzzah!” Heh.

To which Tom replied:

Oh, believe me, we cock-having device-wearers do this all the friggin’ time. We just don’t feel the need to write about it because, well, that would be weird.

Which means I just have to write about it. Weird is my raison d’être, after all.

There are at least two sides of this for me. The first is quite practical. A shorter, smaller device is more comfortable to lug around for days on end. Less of an issue under clothes, less of a strain on the meat upon which it’s attached, etc. In addition, though it’s highly non-intuitive for this to be true, a smaller device can be more comfortable during erections than a larger one. It seems as though the sooner one stops the spongy tissues from becoming engorged, the less discomfort one will feel when it inevitably happens. After a few days, I can say the SH-S is at least as comfortable as the SH-1 while fully erect (at night) and very much more comfortable the rest of the time.

The second side to the issue is more woo-woo than pure practicality, though.

Before I start, I feel compelled to say I do not believe that large cocks or cocks in general have anything whatsoever to do with one’s ability to be dominant or assume a dominant role or that large cocked guys can’t be submissive or that mauve isn’t a completely acceptable color for your grandmother’s tablecloth or anything like that. I will remind you, what I write here comes from my head so a big chunk of it can’t be expected to apply out there where you all live, in The Real World.

Ferns touches on it herself when she says, “Of course, now that I have given it a little thought, I do *exactly* this with strapons.” I assume she’s using strap-ons on her submissive male sex partners and I also assume she uses them, among other things, as some sort of symbol of her dominance (if not, I will be happy to hear otherwise). Of course, my real cock is never used in that way. I gave it to Belle and she tops me so I am ill-prepared mentally to think of the cock as anything other than her tool with which she manipulates me. It’s size, therefore, is immaterial except that it needs to be the right length and girth to make her happy when she chooses to use it to pleasure herself.

Additionally, the cock she keeps in the device hardly ever plays a role in our sex except as a captive witness to it all. Recent activities excepted, I can go weeks or months during which Belle will have as many orgasms as she’ll let me share with her while the cock will only see what light gets though the little hole at the end of the tube. Again, its size does not matter since the basis of our sex life now, and the satisfaction she enjoys, in no way revolves around it.

Finally (and this is where I might piss a few people off), there’s a part of me that doesn not want a large cock or even to do anything that makes it look bigger or more impressive. I’ve written about this before. There is definitely a part of me now, which I trace directly to my growing acceptance and connection with my submissive sexuality, that gets off on the idea of having a small dick. Of course, I do not have a small dick. It’s totally average and satisfies Belle very well. But, it works for me to think otherwise. In fact, when I’m out and able to play with it, one of the quickest ways for me to get to the edge of orgasm is to fantasize that I have a little cock that’s not good enough for Belle. This is hardly unique to me (based on my purely scientific survey of the chastity porn out there). I’m sure there are a lot of guys reading this who can associate with my words and who are in the same boat or are actually small-dicked and are able to achieve the same kind of submissive and almost derogatory pleasure from it.

It’s taken me a while to become comfortable with these feelings. I recall the first times I read a story in which a man was too small to satisfy his wife and she either made him use a large strap-on or took a well-hung lover and how hard it made my heart thump. I resisted it at first. Men in our culture are conditioned to think cock size is to be desired above all other things. This is the same thing that perpetuates the myth that women want ever-larger members inside them and that the size of a man’s penis bears a direct relation to how well he can satisfy women. Of course, it’s all bunk and I already knew that, but still. It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to actually get off on the idea of being “inadequate”.

Long way to say, I have no problem at all with the SH-S making the package “short and stubby” looking. In fact, besides the practical considerations, it’s one the main drivers behind my satisfaction with the new device. As weird as that is.

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2011 Reader Survey

Yep, it’s time for the third annual Denying Thumper reader survey! Woo-hoo!

>> Take the survey now <<
Survey’s closed!

I’ll collect responses for a few weeks then report them back to you, just like last time (and the time before that). Participation is completely anonymous – NO identifiable information is collected whatsoever.

Thanks for playing along!

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Steelheart Short

I came home yesterday to find that the new shorter Steelheart tube had finally (FINALLY) found its way to our mailbox. Because I’m the compulsive nerd that I am, I immediately rustled it away into the bathroom so I could check it out.

From this point forward, I will refer to my original Steelheart tube as SH-1 and the new one as Steelheart Short, or SH-S. Technically, there’s no “short” version of the Steelheart (unlike the CB6K) because a SH tube can be ordered in a almost any size you want, but I have to call it something, so SH-S it is.

My immediate reaction upon slipping it out of its drawstring bag was, “Holy crap, that’s small!” I ordered a tube 35mm in diameter and 70mm long, 35mm shorter than the the SH-1 but the same diameter. That’s exactly what I got, but in reality it seems smaller than I thought it’d be. My intention was to have a tube with a bit more room than the Jail Bird’s, but what I ended up with was something that feels about the same size. I thought I’d need a little more room due to the internal security features (PA fixing and ring), but there’s very little if any. Essentially, the SH-S is a closed version of the JB.

Fit and finish is, as expected, very good. Steelworxx makes an exceptionally well-crafted custom steel product. I have experience with only one other manufacturer of steel devices, but I have to assume that those from Steelworxx are among the best available. A thing of beauty.

The JB looks a little shorter and a little fatter than the SH-S, but I think that’s an illusion based on their different types of construction. The JB’s bars are thicker than the tube walls of the SH-S while the gap between the cage and the cuff ring is greater than that of the SH-S tube and ring (at least at the top of the device). The SH-1 is downright cavernous compared to the SH-S and also feels wider, though it isn’t. It’s a normal sensation to feel the end of he cock bumping around inside the SH-1’s tube (like a clapper in a bell) but I haven’t felt much movement inside the SH-S at all. Note that in the image comparing the two Steelhearts, the SH-1 is shown with its original 45mm cuff ring and the SH-S is shown with my standard 40mm ring.

The SH-S, like the JB, is practically imperceivable under normally fitting clothes. Much less obtrusive than the SH-1. Also, since there’s less room in the tube, it’s practically silent, even with the PA ring in place. It may be only a third shorter than the SH-1, but it feels less than half the size in my pants. Belle said she could tell it was on but that it only made me look well-hung (as opposed to the freak of nature the SH-1 must have made me look like). In the SH-1, the tube would, on occasion, be visible in all it’s long, fat, smooth glory while the SH-S just sort of makes the bulge more pronounced but without much definition of the device itself.

In action, while the JB and the SH-S appear to be similarly configured, they interact with erections differently. In the JB, the cock will attempt to get hard and bulge a bit out of the sides of the cage, but ultimately sort of bunches up behind the device. Instead of an erection, it feels more like a mass of hardness under the device. In the SH-S, however, the erection is allowed to take more of its normal shape, though inside my body. The SH-S raises up off my body more than the JB or SH-1 do and I can feel more definition of the erect shaft behind it. The SH-S might be a tad more comfortable during erection, but it’s just been one play session and night so far, so I’m not willing to make that claim yet. I did have to change my PA ring this morning from the larger, more secure one to the smaller one because there just wasn’t enough room for it and the cock inside the tube last night. I hope the smaller one will find it easier to live in there.

But, you might be asking, I though you weren’t going to get locked back up until Sunday morning? Well, that’s what I thought, too. I put the SH-S on last night just to take it out for a spin, but Belle decided I might as well leave it on indefinitely now, so I ended up sleeping in it. Following our experiment with virtual chastity, Belle has decided she’d rather have me in a device. While I followed the rules all week and only touched myself sexually when she gave me permission to do so, she says she preferes the sense of security the steel provides. She like knowing what state I’m in and that’s only possible when I’m locked up. Also, she says I’m a “better person” when I’m locked up. More focused and well behaved. I’m like, she says, a dog that prefers to sleep in his kennel because he knows it’s his home. Finally, I think she really has grown to like the look of the steel cock better than the real one. So. Yeah. I’m locked up two days early for who knows how long.

I’ve included pictures comparing the two devices while being worn (because you really wanted to see more pictures of me in steel, I know), but I put them after the jump because they’re obviously NSFW.

Continue reading “Steelheart Short”

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Feel the burn

Last night, after Belle went to sleep and told me I was allowed to play with myself, there was a point where I had stroked the cock so much that had I dared to even breathe on it, I would have had an orgasm. I had already milked seven thick slugs of ejaculate from myself without satisfying, even in the slightest, my need to come. I was able to pull up with the awareness of how close I was, but just prior I was in a place where I wanted it so bad that my hand wrapped around the cock formed a single thing upon which every molecule of my being was focused.

And then I let go. And the cock bobbed and quivered and flexed and I knew that if my fingers so much as as grazed the flared head of the cock, that I’d orgasm (most likely dryly). Thinking about it now causes a low thrum under the stiffening cock.

It was fucking torture. Fucking. Torture. The smell of the semen was everywhere and the taste of it was thick in my throat and its sticky sliminess was rubbed all over the cock shaft and between my fingers but I did not come. I dared not. It would be a betrayal of everything I lived for now, including Belle’s trust. I existed in that vaporous microscopically thin space between desire and control and it made me burn.

When I knew I had taken things as far as I possibly could, I cleaned up and went to bed. The cock leaked and leaked onto the sheets so that after 20 minutes I was laying in what felt like a post-coitus wetspot. Besides the leaking, the cock also stung from the abuse on its skin – skin that’s not too often abused that way and has become thin and sensitive. The ring flopped in the PA hole and caused the inside of the cock to feel raw and sore. But still, I wanted more. I wanted everything I could not have because it’s no longer mine to take.

My sleep was fitful and I often found myself cleaving to Belle, pressing the hard cock into her leg and putting my hands inside her bedclothes. I want her so bad. Then, now, always. I’m consumed by desire for her and the gift only she can give.

Living this way is so much harder than being in the device. So much more intense and distracting. Belle told me I was going back in on Sunday morning (which is an odd time), and truly, I will be thankful to have the cock put out of reach. Especially if she doesn’t let me come before the key turns.

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HNThumper XXXI: Chastity ring

So, my chastity has gone virtual. Many times, HNThumpers have featured the device which ensures I stay chaste, but that’s my brain right now and I can’t obviously show you that (since, you know, I’m still using it). But, because of the way my brain works, I find it’s very helpful for me to endow some object as the token of my restriction. Something that acts as a point upon which to center my willpower. A reminder of what I’m supposed (or not supposed) to do.

To that end, I have begun to focus on the PA ring I wear. I cannot take it off without a tool and its function when I’m locked in the device is to ensure I cannot get out, so there’s a certain logic to embodying it as the continuing physical manifestation of my chastity even when I’m not actually secured.

Today’s HNThumper, then, illustrates my current state. The thing from which I am separated is clearly evident, though the power that separates us is not. That power is represented by the steel ring. It’s as if we’re breaking chastity down to it’s component parts. It’s most elemental form. The look of the cock in this image is somewhat dejected which, I think, is appropriate considering its quarantined-like state.

Jesus, I wish I could stroke it. Just for five minutes. Please?

Continue reading “HNThumper XXXI: Chastity ring”

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My little secret

Cricketed wrote a post that got me thinking. Go read it, though be warned: there are many NSFW images (as usual).

He said, about male chastity and the idea that someone he knew well would be aware of his…

[O]ne of the truths of being kept in the cricket for extended periods of time is that I’m led to a very personal place inside me, where being locked is not only sexy and beautiful and symbolic and necessary, but normal. The concepts and practices we’re discovering via male chastity interest me. Occasionally, they downright preoccupy me.

It’s not something strange or shameful to me at all. I’d like to be able to talk about it with some people. Obviously, our sex life is private, and I’m not proposing that we sit around a table in a restaurant and talk dirty with people. But many of the emanations that flow from being cricketed, as well as many of the principles involved, have little to do with the intimacies of our sex life.

I don’t think I could agree any more than I do. I could have written that.

For me, the idea that someone would “find out” about my chastity doesn’t really bother me that much. Like Cricketed, I’d welcome the opportunity to talk about it with some people. That’s not to say I’d want someone to stumble upon my blog, but even if that happened, the thing that keeps me from speaking about it now is the fact that nobody knows, not that I’d be ashamed or shy. I’m also much more worried about Belle’s privacy that mine. I write this blog and am very descriptive of her and our sex life together, but I never asked her permission to do so.

I’ve said before that if somehow someone I know in real life is aware of this blog, I’d rather they tell me than keep it a secret. I don’t like secrets and am frankly not very good at keeping them. I suppose it’s unreasonable to assume my “little secret” would remain that way forever. I don’t think awareness of their knowledge would change what I write and post (everything I’ve already done would be water under the bridge, after all), but I’d still like to know.

I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to talk about chastity with anyone I didn’t meet though the fact that I’m chaste (i.e., this blog or FetLife or Chastity Forums). For that matter, I wonder if I’ll be able to talk to anyone IRL I did meet that way.

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Gone virtual

“This is an experiment,” Belle said.

“You’re experimenting on me?”

“Well, you said you didn’t need the device anymore to remain chaste. Let’s see how that works for a while.”

This exchange took place about 50 hours after she let me out of the device, 36 hours after she fucked me, and about 8 hours after I assumed I was going back in.

Let’s rewind. She let me out on Saturday but decided to wait until Sunday morning to fuck me. At the prospect of having access to the meat again, I asked if I’d be allowed to play with it.

“No,” she said, “It’s coming out for my pleasure, not yours.” Fair enough. For however long I was to be free, I was not to pleasure myself with the cock.

Sunday morning, she fucked me. Climbed on top and rode me until she came. I was extraordinarily happy not to come before her, but that was due more to her wanting the cock as badly as she did than my ability to control my orgasm. I was about 70% of the way there and rising rapidly when she quickly came. Had she taken as long as she usually does, I would have been dead meat.

For a moment, I though she’d take the “mine, not yours” thing all the way to it’s logical conclusion, but she let me flip her over and fuck until I came. That took about two minutes and twelve seconds, then I spewed and spewed. It got all over the sheets, my leg, and (obviously) way up inside her. That stuff is nasty. Especially right after the event that causes it to emerge. Anyway…

As I’ve said lots of times before, one orgasm doesn’t do anything to satisfy my desires for more longer than a few hours. Then, it’s as if it never happened. By Sunday afternoon, I was right back in the hunt. I took a long hot bath and found myself on Kristen’s Archive which, for a man in my position, was perhaps not the smartest move I could make. Then again, while I had, at times, a very hard and very available erection right there, I did not stroke it. Not once.

So, that essentially leads up to the conversation that opened this post. I am, unsurprisingly, pretty worked up and my body is telling me, since everything is out there and flopping around, that I need to do something. Either take matters into my own hand or convince Belle to give me access or whatever. But no. She’s conducting an experiment. I’m now in virtual chastity. No device and no touching.

This kind of chastity has a different edge to it. In the device, my control is abdicated. The cock becomes a nonissue because it’s as if it doesn’t exist. Now, it does. And I have to touch it. It gets soapy and wet when I shower, it gets squished and squashed in my pants, and I have to handle it every time I take a leak. Plus, because I’m wearing the thick PA ring, it’s got heft and density all its own. There’s never a time I’m not aware of the unencumbered cock between my legs. Now, my chastity comes as a result of both her control and mine.

Of course, I’m not saying it’s better or worse. Just different. Hot in another way. I’m kinking on the constant temptation kept in check solely through my devotion to her control over my body, but I also really get off on the inescapable steel. About a week from now, Belle goes away on another business trip. I can’t imagine she’ll leave me to my own recognizance while she’s gone. Until then, at least, I’ll have to continue to resist temptation.

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Coupon

I’m going to get fucked this weekend.

Back on Valentine’s day, Belle gave me a card that, according to what was written in it, was good for “one night out”. I pressed her subsequently for more details. Was it just what is said? A night out? No, it meant I’d get to come. Just the one time? Yes. When would I have to go back in? The next morning. Could I use it whenever I wanted or did I need to give her some warning? Etc., etc.

But this morning, as I was groggily walking around the house with a steel tube still full of morning wood plumpness, she told me not to try to use my coupon this weekend because she felt the need to “connect” with her Thumper. I wasn’t going to use it, but it was nice of her to tell me.