Over the weekend, Belle let me come the way I’ve been waiting for. As I said, each of the previous recent opportunities have been less than optimal from my point of view. Sunday, she let me have the full meal deal.

After waking up, she got the key as she suggested she might the morning before when I got her off but stayed in the Looker 02. Once out of it (and it out of me), I felt a great surge of desire for her that always seems to be associated with the sensation of a full and unencumbered erection. Knowing that she like to be “taken” on occasion, I assumed the role of the traditional aggressive male sex partner and, while kissing her passionately, started to push down her pajama bottoms. Usually, I’d wait for her to take them off as a sign of what I was to do next, but not this time. 

The top quickly followed the bottoms and as soon as she was fully naked, I climbed up on her and wrapped my arm around her neck and shoulders and pushed the hard penis into her as far as it would go. She made no objection. Instead, I heard appreciative sounds escape her lips as we roughly fucked. 

I fucked her as I wanted to fuck. I fucked like a guy taking his partner. I fucked as if for me, but really it was for her. I fucked until I got too close to coming, then I backed off. Once. Twice. Three times. Then…

“Spill it, Thumper,” she whispered. 

The gates opened with three or four strokes. I pumped a full and satisfying load into her. So many productive surges. Six? Eight? I left her brimming with me. 

Then the effects of a real orgasm hit me. Drowsiness. Lethargy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. So much more powerful than the little echos of orgasm I feel after she comes. A warm blanket wrapped around my brain as she got up to retrieve Pink. I laid next to her, eyes closed, and heard and felt the buzz of the little vibrator finishing her off. I played no part.

I was ready to go again within an hour. Not just feeling “OK, I could fuck,” but, “I NEED TO FUCK.” Surprising, really. She wanted me back in the Looker 02 the next morning so that’s where I am now, but I don’t feel like I just had a great orgasm. I feel like I’ve been denied for weeks. In the shower after some morning Tumbln’, my balls felt heavy and swollen. Last night, while trying to fall asleep, the L02 was so obviously there. In only the way that particular device can be. 

I leave town this Friday for a week in the woods. After that, Belle’s in NYC. Who knows how long it’ll be before I get to go inside her again or I’m allowed to get her off. I don’t and that’s just how it should be. 

Sunday of Sex, part two

As I was saying, Kid #1 was absent Sunday morning and Kid #2 was soon to be. I’m not sure either one of us contemplated the ramifications of this beforehand, but we suddenly found ourselves with five hours of pure alone time. We had discussed going to the gym or something else productive. Instead, we spent most of the time naked.

Once Kid #2 walked out the door, we looked at each other and one of us asked the other, “Well, what are we going to do?”

“We could go have sex,” I helpfully pointed out.

“Yeah, we could do that.” Color me happily surprised. Belle had already had her orgasm for the day and since she’s the kind of girl who usually only wants them one at a time I had no idea what this sex party was going to entail, but I wasn’t about to ask any questions until we were both naked and wrapped up in one another.

It was crazy. Naked fun time in the middle of the day with the bedroom door open and the curtains up. This is how I imagine porn stars live, not 40-something married couples with kids still in school. Did I mention it was broad daylight outside?

I was on her quickly. Still feeling revved up from earlier in the day, it didn’t take much to find me pushing my way inside her. She felt more normal. The lingering effects of Maverick’s earlier intrusions had worked themselves out.

“You want to go again?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m game,” she said (or something very much like it).

“How you want to do it? You want Blue?” I was already fucking her, but that was just me being presumptuous.

“No, let’s do your fingers this time.”

Fine by me. I assumed the position and, while pressing the wet and hard penis between us, I sucked eagerly on her tits and fingered her pussy.

“I feel like you’re having to work too hard,” she remarked at one point.

“God no,” I replied, “I just fucking love your pussy.”

Of course, I’ve always loved pussy, but I’m totally fixated by it now since her’s is the only way I get to feel any pleasure from the penis anymore. Masturbation is forbidden, even touching is frowned upon. Regardless, it’s locked up essentially all the time. So I do enjoy my pussytime, even when it’s only to play with it and not penetrate it.

Eventually, she came for the second time that day (knocking off ninety-one and ninety, respectively). She came loudly. No reason to keep it in. Her exclamations caused me to make my own sympathetic moans as her body convulsed under my fingers and through my arms. It was a great orgasm. For both of us.

After allowing for a few moments of basking, I climbed back on top of her and placed the head of the penis where it needed to be for easy access. I was definitely being pushier than usual which, looking back, might have been some kind of clue. She never said I could enter her but I took her lack of complaint and how she shifted herself beneath me as wordless acquiescence. I shoved the penis home.

I never got close to coming in the morning, but this was different. It didn’t take any time at all until I found myself right there. And not just physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually, I wanted to come in her. I held the back of her neck in my right hand and gripped her thigh with my left hand in a way that asserted a sexual dominance I by rights didn’t have, but the lizard part of me was in charge. After having to slow myself and disrupt my rhythm once again to avoid coming, I actually found myself toying with the idea of having an “accident.” How could she know for sure that it wasn’t?

Yeah, right, the bunny said from the sidelines while rolling his eyes. And he was right. There’s no way I have an accidental orgasm when I’m the one driving. No way.

So then I thought about begging. But I didn’t want to screw with Belle. I didn’t want to make it sound like I was trying to guilt her out or anything. The lizard, though. He’s crafty.

“What if I begged?” I asked. “What would you do if I begged for an orgasm?”

“I’d say no,” replied Belle. Fuck.

Please,” I begged anyway. “Please, can I come?” I wanted it. Truly. I did. Holding her like that and fucking her, feeling our bodies moving against each other. I was so close. 

And I’ll say right now, either answer would have been good. But I would have regretted hearing no more than yes.

“Spill it,” she said. YES.

No hesitance. No delay. No stopping to consider. Just THRUST, THRUST, THR—

And it happened. I was over the falls and past the point of no return. I wasn’t thinking. Couldn’t think. I just came.

At first, it felt like every muscle in my body tensed and flexed with the mission to squeeze itself out through the penis. I couldn’t breath. Everything stopped. I think my heart even stopped beating. Nothing existed except that feeling. The feeling of a fucking supernova detonating in my balls. Then I felt a rushing wave of pin-pricks hit the back of my skull, cresting from the bottom and heading up over my scalp. And pressure. Like a clamp on my head. I felt my brain release the orgasmic cocktail it hadn’t tasted in seven and a half months. I think I made a lot of noise and I don’t think I could have done a thing about it even if I wanted to. I went from pure orgasmic bliss to a moment of laughter to wanting to cry all in about 360 milliseconds. And there was a tiny flicker of regret. But only a tiny one and it was over as soon as it started.

Quite simply, the greatest orgasm of my entire life.

The volume was enormous. Besides not having had one since July 1 of last year, I was all worked up from the multiple sex sessions. I couldn’t count the number of times I shot into her but it had to be six or eight. Even after I was empty, the penis kept flexing and trying to milk every little bit of it out of me.

Then, I was exhausted. And I realized my arms were hurting from holding me up. And I felt a pain in my side. All the masking of those things that the pre-orgasmic cocktail does to fool you into thinking you’re Superman were emptied out with the ejaculate. Then I did something I can’t even remember doing, it was so long ago last time I did it. I fell asleep in that hazy, post-orgasmic fog. I realized Belle was talking so I woke back up. So sleepy. So spent.

Belle said afterward that the only reason she let me come was because she found my begging for it so hot. That one time, she heard how desperate I was and the idea of having put me there turned her on sufficiently to allow me to come.

After, we spent an hour or so in the bathtub together. We haven’t done that in a really long time. When our relationship first started, Belle lived in an old house with a giant claw-footed tub and we’d lounge around in it after sex with candles burning and k. d. lang playing in the other room. And now we were doing the same thing except the tub was a big whirlpool type and the CD was replaced by iPhone Spotify and a Bluetooth speaker. But otherwise, it felt the same. I thought about the book I’m reading and its premise that we have stages of neurochemical response to our partners and how that changes over time and that I felt, even though we had just had sex after 16 years or so of marriage, exactly like after the first time we had sex. We discussed a remodeling project. I was nesting with her.

It was very hard dragging myself to the gym. All I wanted to do was lay around in my sweats and sloth in front of the TV. Earlier, I had been very keen on getting in there and running. Now the inertia almost scuttled the operation. But I did manage to drag my ass over there and I ran four miles with nothing but the PA ring to keep the penis company.

Belle was concerned for my well-being. She asked me several times (and again the next morning) how I felt. Post-orgasmic aftercare for the chronically denied. In fact, I felt and still feel great. Everything seemed like it was wrapped in a few inches of cotton batting for a while but I woke up this morning (back in the Steelheart, ‘natch) and the feeling was still there. Changed a bit from having come. A little more urgent, perhaps. But not like how it feels after two orgasms. Not that kind of total wipeout.

In fact, right now, I’d very much like to get into her pants.

Sunday of Sex, part one

I woke up before Belle Sunday morning which is fairly typical. I layed there, snuggled into her warmth with my arms and legs wrapped around her, Steelheart packed tight, sex simmering inside me. That’s a tricky time for me because I know she’s more willing to fuck me on weekend mornings so all my Spidey senses are tingling and I’m anxious for her to wake up but I don’t want to be the cause of making that happen.

I rolled away and looked at my phone. Mostly smut which made the device go from comfortably packed to almost painfully so and Belle rolled over and put her hand on my chest, still dozing. Fuck if I didn’t almost combust at the touch. That’s all it takes, of course. Simple touches. Little touches. And I get all dopey.

Eventually she woke up. I moved into her. Her hand absently found my balls. She brushed her fingertips over the only part of my genitals that could feel pleasure. More little touches. I got up on my hands and knees over her and kissed her face. She continued to tickle my balls, now pulled tight by the achingly hard meat inside the steel tube.

I asked her what she wanted that morning. How could I make her come? What was her pleasure to be? After some time making me almost debilitated from the raging hard-on stuffed through the Steelheart’s tight ring, she decided this morning would be the debut of Maverick. I hobbled out of bed to get the harness and big dildo together and she pulled off all her bedclothes.

Even though it means I’ll be getting even less of a thrill than usual, I do find that the sensation of pulling the harness on, up and over my ass, straps on both sides of the device, through my legs and up my crack, to be terrifically erotic. I fucking love straps and buckles and everything to do with them. The Maverick was a tight fit through the harness’ O-ring, but once through it stuck out from me in a way no cock ever has and hung heavily against the steel chastity device.

I climbed back into bed and latched onto Belle’s nipple with my mouth. My hand was in her snatch and felt her heat and wetness. She luxuriated in my petting of her for a long time. I ran my fingers through her pussy, over her other nipple, and back again. After a bit, taking her time, she put her own fingers down there. Hers and mine mixed in her wetness and over her folds.

After a bit of this, she made a move to climb up on top of me and down onto the Maverick. I had placed some lube on it beforehand, but the Vixskin material and her dripping wetness were such that it was likely unnecessary. I left my hand down there so I could feel the fat black cock as it slid into her. Open her. Based on her expression, it was an intense sensation, but she soon warmed to its heft and her pace quickened. Once I figured she was ready, I started to fuck back. I reached around and pressed on the small of her back with my palm. She humped it even faster, eyes closed, mouth shaped like an O. Her orgasm seemed to last as long as the dildo inside her.

She layed on top of me and basked. The penis started to flex and surge, almost of its own accord. I felt nothing but tight steel push back. Not soft and warm pussy. Not what the Maverick would have been feeling had it been living meat and not man-made.

She rolled off and the Maverick slapped back to hit my stomach. I gripped it like a real cock and stroked it using the remaining wetness of her pussy. So big. It felt warm and alive, but there was no sensation for me except frustration.

God, I wish I could fuck you right now.” It’s how I felt so I said it, but I wasn’t asking. Leaving me locked up would have been almost as good as letting me out, but for different reasons. Somewhat to my surprise, she got up to get the key.

Once out, I immediately climbed on top of her. The penis slid in effortlessly. I groaned, “This is how I love to feel you.”

“Really? I can barely feel you,” she said innocently. But the comment struck me. It was exactly what the bunny wanted to hear and exactly not what the lizard wanted. “Seriously, it’s like the penis isn’t even there.”

Moar groaning.

I fucked her with practically no friction. The fat dildo had taken that from me before I got there. Taken her. And that’s what I loved feeling. Second. Smaller. As if she was only doing me a favor after being pleasured by something closer to the size she prefers. I do not pretend to understand how all my kinks work, this one in particular. It’s outside the sensibility of most and what made me so hard and almost drunk on passion would make other men shrivel up and assume the fetal position. I’m not saying there isn’t pain in knowing what really gets her off is something so much bigger than what I have. But in the same way I love the sting of the strap across my ass or of the ache of her fist punching my nuts, the searing comprehension that I am and always will be less than she really wants fires both pleasure and pain circuits.

More than that, I crave to hear her twist the knife. To remind me why we need Blue and the Maverick. To say it’s like I’m not even fucking her once they’re done making her come.

Which of these things is not like the others?On the practical side, Belle said the Maverick felt smaller than Blue. As you can see, they’re very close to the same size, though Maverick’s head is more pronounced with a dramatic flare Blue lacks. It’s possible Blue, in use, is fatter, but since I’ve never measured it with the hard penis in place, I don’t know. She also prefers Blue’s veiny texture over Maverick’s smoothness. Almost too smooth, she says. The little dildo they’re with is Vixen’s Tex. That was the one we got when we first started to experiment with strap-on sex years ago and it was picked because it was almost exactly the same size as the penis when hard. The penis’ head isn’t quite as impressive, though. In any event, it’s a striking visual demonstration as to why she could barely feel me inside her. It’s also interesting to note that Belle didn’t much like using dildos back when we were using one specifically chosen as the closest to me.

I don’t know how long I fucked her, but she was very indulgent. I never got very close to coming and didn’t even leak. Not enough friction, I suppose, though it was painful being told I needed to stop. She told me I could stay out of the Steelheart a little while, so I was free as we went out for brunch with Kid #2. Kid #1 was at an all-day school event and Kid #2 was going to go shopping with a friend around noon, so we had to get moving.

All in all, I would have chalked Sunday morning’s encounter up as quite lovely and pleasurable. Little did I know we weren’t done yet. Not by half.


We took a Sunday afternoon nap. That means, Belle slept and I kinda dozed and eventually woke up and looked at my phone until she was done snoozing.

“Is the door locked?” she asked sleepily.

I nodded. She kissed me on the mouth.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked. I was told to be ready to come out of the device but she had left me in. I had no idea what she wanted, though I figured it would likely be a quickie fingered orgasm.

“I’m letting you out.”

All right, Thumper. Game on.

She handed me the key and I pulled the covers down. I was already naked so I stuck the key in the little brass lock and turned it. The lock slid from its chamber freeing the cage from its cockring mate. Setting the lock and key aside, I pulled the cage off and felt the bulb end of the Looker 02’s urethral insert slither its way down the inside of the shaft it had secured for a week. It caught briefly in the head of the penis and then popped out. Then I pushed the thickening meat back through the ring and winced as the testicles popped through, right first then left. I was free. The steel was on the nightstand.

When I rolled back over towards her, she was naked. The penis was hard and, as I wrapped my arms around her, it brushed against her thigh. The feeling of it caused me to gasp slightly. From no sensation to the best sensation in under 30 seconds.

“How can I serve you, Belle Fille?”

“I want you.”

“Do I get to come?” The $64,000 question. I was ready for whatever she said.

“…No,” she replied evenly.

Instinct took over. I climbed between her legs and pushed the end of the aching meat against the lips of her pussy. She was dry, but I pushed in. I wanted in. She felt tight. Lack of natural lube and at least two weeks since anything had been in her. I shifted my hips to gain further penetration. I was gambling that she wanted it a little rough. A little guy-centric. A moment later, the penis found her hot and wet. She sighed.

“I have no idea why I did that,” I said.

“It feels good,” she purred, “Really good.”

“Is this what you wanted?”


I pulled the hard shaft out and pushed it back in, spreading her gathering wetness around. I bent my head down and started to suck on her nipple while I fucked her slowly. I shifted again and pushed in as deep as I could, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and placing the other hand in the small of her back. I wrapped her in my strength and exerted just enough pressure for her to feel that I was holding her tight and she couldn’t get out. Not that she wanted to.

I thought fucking slow would let me last longer and I felt I was doing a pretty good job being as leisurely as possible. Her snatch was hot and totally wet now. Her breathing was starting to get more shallow.

“Oh, fuck,” she whispered.

That was it. I can go for a long time and trick the orgasm that wants out into holding its own, but once I hear her start to really get into it, I lose my cool. Two or three slow thrusts later, I had to stop. I could feel the ejaculate locked and loaded. She wanted me to keep going, though, and wiggled her hips. That was enough to trigger a long jet to shoot out of me and into her. I had to pull out to keep it from going any further. She had said, no orgasm.

Now that I had her going, I didn’t want her to lose momentum. I quickly worked my way down to her pussy and dove in. Immediately, my mouth was full of my own seed. I swallowed it down and worked my tongue over her clit, lapping more of myself than seemed possible as it continued to leak from her. My throat was thick with it and its scent mixed with hers to fill my senses. My hands worked their way up to her breasts and tweaked her nipples as I eagerly ate her out. I wondered if this is what it would be like on those night she had her boyfriend over. Would she let me off the floor long enough to clean his semen from her before they slept in the warm bed and I on the hard floor? Would he watch or already have fallen asleep in his post-orgasmic stupor?

Belle’s hips started to buck. She was moaning and pushing against my forehead with the palm of her hand as the intensity of her orgasm crested but I pushed back harder keeping my tongue working over her electrified clit. Her legs crushed my skull and she pulled a fistful of my hair while her ass was off the bed. If she wanted to be taken hard, I was going to make her fucking well feel this orgasm.

Once it was over, I rested my face against her inner thigh and kissed at her taut tendons as she came down a little. The mixture of scents was intoxicating to me. I almost felt dizzy from all the pheromones attacking my brain. I climbed back up her body so that I was between her legs again. She took the penis in her hand and guided it into her.

Jesus fuck, was she hot and slick. Her juices, my semen and spit, and the full ripeness of her post-orgasmic pussy all mixed together and I started to fuck her. Hard. I could still smell us both in the smeared fluids that covered half my face and it drove me mad. It wasn’t long before I could feel the building orgasm and I. Wanted. It.

“Can I come?”


Ugh. Wimper.

I stuttered and stopped just long enough for it to climb back up inside me and then I had my hard, strong arms back around her, holding her tight and close. I buried my face in her neck and clung tightly to her and fucked her harder than I had in a long, long time. The lizard was off his leash and going to town. This was just fucking. Just me having my way with her. Doing her. Nothing gentle or submissive about it. I felt another orgasm winding up. A big one. The one I wanted. The lizard said DO IT but the bunny fought back. Each thrust into her caused her to exhale a little. There was no tenderness in what I was doing to her. No room for that. Just lust and desire and burning intensity.

“Come on!” I said to myself under my breath as I slammed into her. Not sure to who I said it or what it meant, but there was a stand-off inside me. Would I? Or not?

Of course not. In the end, I tensed up and then just knew. It wasn’t happening. It was like the lizard’s back was broken. Again. He slinked off and I shuddered and collapsed onto Belle.

“OK, Thumper, that’s enough.”

I panted. Gasped. Gathered myself.

“Is it what you wanted?” I asked quietly.


We laid in bed a long time after. I felt both the feelings of sleepy post-orgasm and the raw edge of continued desire for her. I wanted her to throw me over onto my back, crawl on top of me, and fuck me until I came. I told her.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, really, I do.”

After a bit, I said, “OK, just between you and me, you can admit it now. You wish the penis was bigger, don’t you?”

She laughed. “No!”

“Yes you do. I know you do.”

She laughed some more. “Well…just a little.”

“OH! So it’s true! Now all I need to get you to do is admit that while we’re having sex.”

We both laughed.

Before I got out of bed, the Looker went back on. The fat bulb on the end of the insert pushed past the opening of the penis (helped along by the slick presence of ejacualte and pussy juice). The penis fought back and tried to grow, but that just made it all the tighter when the lock found its home and the key came out.

She held out her hand and I put the key in it. Belle got exactly what she wanted. I hope she always does.

Lost in the sheets

I was away from Belle over the weekend. Thursday through Monday nights. I was having a nice time, but it was miserable not to be with her. Especially in the morning when the penis was pushing against the Trainer as hard as it can and my hand only found unfeeling plastic and not a hard shaft to play with.

I wish I knew more about the brain chemistry of love and attraction or that someone would do a study on the brain of a denied male. My feelings for her are made so much more intense by the lack of orgasm. My craving for her and her warm softness so much more acute by the locking of the penis. When I got home, I was all over her and her scent and lips and curvy female form made my heart flutter.

“I have to hear you orgasm,” I whispered into her ear.

Later that night, I snuggled up next to her under the covers as we watched Sherlock and as I ran my hands down her body they found the tubular shape of Pink, her favorite vibrator. My assumption was she put it there for me to use on her once Holmes and Watson saved London from terrorists, but no.

“Is that still there?!”

Turns out she had made the bed over it the morning before. While I was clawing at a compressed needy hard-on through its plastic trap, she was pleasuring herself with the little pink vibe. I instantly saw her in my mind doing this and could hear the thrumming rise and fall as she pushed it in and pull it out of her hot snatch.

And of course, I moaned. And melted inside.

I suggested christening her new dildo but she wanted my fingers and now we’re down to ninety-six. Even though I was horned up nearly to distraction, feeling her body tense with the wave of orgasm and then go limp in the afterglow triggered in me the need to sleep. So I did.

There’s a bit more to this one, but it comes with the standard NSFW warnings, so…

Continue reading “Lost in the sheets”

Two more

I forgot two of my New Year’s goals/notresolutions.

First, I’d like to be tied up more. Doesn’t have to be ropes since they’re technical. Could be cuffs and harnesses, etc. Just restrained. There’s all manner of lovely strappy things to accomplish such a goal. Hogties, hobble belts, and various spreader bars. Even awesome-looking shackles.

I think Belle worries about what to do with me once she’s bound me up. Sure, I’d also like to be whipped and otherwise tortured, but she could just leave me. The idea of having my wrists bound to my thighs or even just leaving them cuffed together all night (preferably while wearing a collar, ‘natch) is highly appealing. Or shackling my hands and ankles. Basically, anything where she removes more of my control is too fucking hot.

Yeah, so, I’d like stuff to bind and restrain me plus a lovely harness. Just because I think they’re sexy as hell and I’ve almost got my upper body into a shape that one would look good on me.

Have I mentioned my strappy leather kink? I must’ve. Once or twice.

Second, I want to be in a state where I want to come. Yes, duh, right? But no, not if you think about it. So many guys into denial are into denial (myself included) which means they want to be denied. Where I’m saying I want to be more often is where I want to fucking come all the time and don’t only because she won’t let me. If she said, “Thumper, now!” I’d happily spew forth without reservations.

Case in point. This morning. I was up before her and sofuckinghorny. I wasted some time on the Tumblr (which did nothing to resolve the horny thing) and otherwise ground the steel into the bed and waited for her to wake up. Eventually, she did, and it wasn’t long before she was naked and needing to choose how she’d let me get her off.

She has many options. My fingers, my mouth, the little pink vibrator, the big blue dick, the little white one, and a new addition to her stable: The Vixskin Maverick. It showed up on Friday and is the solution to her wanting to get fucked by a big dick but not necessarily wanting to let me out. Some further backstory…

Belle wanted me in the Steelheart but also wanted to be fucked and, back around Christmas, asked if Blue would work over the device. No. But, I had a thought. The penis fits pretty well in Blue and Belle’s old dildo Mr. Darcy is nearly the same size as me so what if I put Mr. Darcy in the strap-on harness he was bought for and stuck Blue over that? Kind of a sex toy turducken. We gave it a shot.

Didn’t work. Darcy, while about the same size as the penis all around, doesn’t compress the same way inside Blue. What we ended up with is a much fatter and less flexible dildo arrangement. It made her uncomfortable and I had to get her off a different way. Ah, well.

And that led to the arrival of Maverick. I chose the chocolate color because I felt the pinkish-white one looks kinda sickly and pale and the “caramel” one looks like cheap spray tan. The chocolate color is warm and rich. Really lovely. It showed up and as soon as I saw it I thought she’d think it was too big. On paper, it’s the same size as Blue. Seven inches by two. In reality, Maverick has a much bigger and more pronounced head. Also, it looks thicker. I compared the two to each other and found that they were essentially identical in proportions, though. But Maverick’s head. Holy cow. Blue tapers a bit while Maverick stays hefty all the way to its fat, flared helmet.

Funny thing, though, when I showed it to Belle. “Oh, that’s a really good size,” she said immediately. Yes. A perfect size for her, I think.

So back to this morning. Her choice. Fingers, mouth, pink vibrator, big blue dick, big black dick, or little white one. She decided she wanted me out, so it was Blue. Maverick’s christening will need to wait for another day.

After Blue had its way with her (ninety-eight to go, BTW), she let me fuck her. Again, the sensation of being inside her and feeling how much the dildo she thinks is a “really good size” stretches her beyond my ability really fucking clicks with something very deep inside me. The sensation of being second. The subtle and implied humiliation of knowing that she came so well from something so much bigger. Knowing that no matter how hard I fuck her, I’ll never touch the spots touched by her big dildos.

And sweet Jesus, it makes me want to come in her. To spray myself all over the walls that bigger dick pushed beyond my reach. To mark and retake her pussy as mine. It hurts, I want to come so bad. So I told her.

“I want to come in you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

“No, you really don’t.”

“But I do…”


Had she said the word, I would’ve done it. Like that. But she didn’t so I didn’t.

Her goal not to let me come once this year: Intact

My goal to want to really a lot: Intact

Pussyfooting around

Last night started with me rubbing her feet with aromatic lotion and ended with my face in her pussy.

She told me straight away that I wasn’t getting out. I like that kind of certainty. I like when she tells me how it’s going to be and I don’t need to waste any energy thinking about it. I like it when she doesn’t mess around and just tells me things like she’s the boss. Because that’s what she is and it’s sexy to hear her own it.

The foot massage was long and indulgent. I got new foot lotion and it lasted a long time so I just kept going. Can’t say how long it was, but I guess it was close to 45 minutes. She made appreciative little sounds and that made me feel warm and loved.

Before she let me make her come, she fingered the Steelheart and ran her fingers over my balls. The sack got tight as the penis pressed against its confinement. Being so close to her, face to face, breath to breath, and having her tease me that way makes me feel dopey and light-headed. It’s coming up on six months since my last orgasm and the power of tiny little touches is amplified and reamplified by my hormone load.

As she took off her clothes so I could go to work, I leaned back and felt the device’s bite as the straining penis flopped heavily from one side to the other. I hungrily sucked on her tits and ran my fingers around her snatch, teasing her lightly. Getting her juices going.

After rubbing her clit for a few minutes, she asked me if I’d go down on her. That’s cute. Fucking yes, of course I would. Always. And asking makes it sound like I have a choice. I’ll do whatever she wants. Whatever she says. Always.

I licked and lapped over the folds of what feels sometimes like the center of my universe and reached up with my hand to finger her nipples. I had a hard time getting into a position where I could lay on my stomach with a hard locked-up penis crushed between me and the bed. Belle “helped” by reaching her foot down and using her toes to play with my balls and the hard, hard tube while I buried my face in her. She came nicely and I lingered between her legs, breathing deeply on her pheromones.

She fell asleep quickly. Me, not so much. Even after I found it, sleep was fitful. I was preoccupied with being as close to her as possible. With being able to feel some part of her or hold her or just rest my head against her body. I woke up this morning pressed up against her still. I wrapped my arms around her and felt the tube filled with morning erection press between us.

I admitted to her that leaving me in like that during sex was good for me. It was hard to say, not because I didn’t think it was true. I do. All the way down. I can feel that it’s true. But there’s a not inconsequential part of me that’s been spoiled with all the pussy access lately. I wanted out. I wanted to be inside her. I wanted to edge myself right up to the point of orgasm and then stop so I could feel the single surge of ejaculate flow through me and into her. But not being able to do that left me feeling so close to her. So needful of her. So much more devoted to her.

That’s what this is all about, after all.

Sex talking

“What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking I need to get your key. I’m thinking I should put it my nightstand at night so I don’t need to get up and get it in the morning. What are you thinking about?”

I couldn’t say. I was thinking that I was excited about getting out. I was also thinking that I always get out. I was thinking that she lets me out no matter what. Whether I deserve it or not.

She got the key and I unlocked the Steelheart and watched that thing happen where more of the penis than should fit in the tube come out of it. I rolled back over and she was naked and I put her nipple in my mouth and started to feel around her body. She felt warm and soft and the penis was very hard.

“How can I make you come today, Belle Fille?”

She purred a little. “I want Blue.”

She didn’t want me to jump right up, though. I could play with her pussy a little before. And I did. Fucking hell, I love her pussy.

“I play with your pussy more than I play with myself.” A lot more.

“Yep.” Said in a well, of course you do tone.

She fingered the penis. Traced it and gave it some tugging squeezes. That simple contact made me dizzy. Such a small thing but so powerful for someone who hardly ever even sees his erection let alone touches it.

Then I got Blue and put it on. It adds so much swaying heft. I can’t believe there are actually guys with dicks this big. With my hand wrapped around it, I couldn’t help but feel the pang of wishing it was me but knowing it wasn’t. Not even close.

She climbed up and fucked it and I fucked her back. There’s so much more intensity in her face and her sounds when she’s got that thing inside her. When she came, it was hard enough that I could feel her clamp down through the layer of stretchy blue fake dick. She gathered herself while laying on me and I raced inside.

After she rolled off, I pulled Blue off and snuggled into her. The penis was pressing hard against her. What if she told me no? What if she said that was it? But it wasn’t. I could go in.

I slipped easily inside her. So easily. Barely filling the void left by the big dick I had been wearing for her. The feeling of her like that does something profound to me. I had to move slowly to avoid coming immediately.

“Do you like Blue?”

“Yes, I love it.”

And I want to hear her say that. To hear her tell me she loves that long fat cock.

While I’m fucking her, we talk. I tell her all I want is for her to be happy. To be the one to make her happy. And that she’s so nice to me. But what I want isn’t important. What I get doesn’t matter. I want to feel that I have no control over what happens. That I don’t deserve to expect anything in return. She asks me if I want her to be mean to me. It’s hard for me to say it while I’m inside her because it feels so good and it’s the only good feeling that comes from the penis, these mornings she lets me fuck her. But she doesn’t have to feel that she needs to be nice to me. I admit yes, I would like her to be mean to me. At least when it comes to sex. I want to be used for her pleasure and only be given my own when she feels I’ve earned it. I should not expect anything. Whatever I get, it’s because she wants me to have it, not because I should get it. Not because I want it. What I want isn’t important. I should focus on her. Getting her off. Making her happy, in whatever way that is.


Belle’s big blue boyfriend

As I’ve recently mentioned, Belle’s admitted to me that the penis is not, as she’s previously said and occasionally still says, strictly speaking, perfect. She claims not to be into really long cocks, but she does like some girth. The penis on me, while not freakishly thin, is on this side of average girthiness. So, in my continuing quest to provide Belle the optimal sexual experience, I picked up an Oxballs Dude Cocksheath. My review forthwith.

Continued after the jump thanks to several totally NSFW images…

Continue reading “Belle’s big blue boyfriend”


Thumper's sex kitI’ve experimented with Lidocaine before with some success (that is, if you define “success” as having an erection you can’t feel and won’t come), but never with Belle. It was fun to play with it while masturbating, but I’m not allowed to do that anymore so it was just basically sitting around in the bathroom drawer. Since I haven’t been able to satisfy Belle with the penis in the way she wants lately (and have been feeling guilt commensurate with that failure), I thought it was time to try it with her.

This post contains an NSFW image, so keep clicking if you want to hear the rest of the story…

Continue reading “Lido-can”