If you’ve been waiting for me to post about my solo adventures now that Belle’s in Asia and I’m just sitting here with permission to violate myself at will, you’ll be as surprised as I am hear that nothing’s happened. I can’t really explain it. I could take action, but I just haven’t felt like it. This is very unlike me. Truth be told, I haven’t felt much at all except the occasional surge of frustration at not being able to get inside the Steelheart.
Well, that’s not entirely true. I have felt a very tight device every morning within 10 minutes of 4:15AM since I first put the Jail Bird on more than a week ago. Even now that I’m back in the friendly confines of the Steelheart, I’m still waking up within 10 minutes either side of 4:15AM. You could set a clock by it. What’s especially weird about this is that I was sleeping right through ’till morning before switching to the JB. Sure, I’d expect a new device to alter my sleeping patterns until I get used to it, but what’s up now? Why is the SH suddenly acting as my all too early wake-up call?
So anyway, what I find now is that I really want Belle back. There’s still bits of that great night in the hotel reverberating in my head and I can’t seem to get all that jacked about the few self abuse options available to me. Would it be different if I had access to the cock? I can’t imagine I’d be as apathetic with free reign over my entire body, but right now as I am, all I want is my Belle back. I want to feel her come. I want to suck on her and taste her and lick her all over. Me though? Not so much interested in that.
One thing I forgot to mention the other day when describing the wonderful night in the hotel was that we talked about taking a break. It’s not that I’m unhappy or anxious or anything, but we both thought it would be a good idea to mix things up a bit. Interestingly, our definitions of “a break” seemed to differ quite a bit. She thought it would mean being out of the device for a while. I thought it would mean being out of the device and being free to do with myself anything I want (yes, even that). There didn’t seem to be much interest in that idea from the side that decides such things. We agreed to table the idea and talk about it later.
Thing is, if I’m not allowed to manhandle the goods and even make them squirt, I’d rather stay in the device. I totally acknowledge that I’m the weak kind of guy who can’t keep his hands off when there’s not a solid piece of steel between me and it. The temptation would be significant, let alone the extreme distraction it would present.
Before Belle left, I was sitting in a room with a bunch of consumer packaged goods people talking about their core consumers. See, if you work in marketing for a very large company (or, as I do, support those who do), you will occasionally create personas of the average consumer to help you think up new and interesting ways to make them do what you want them to do (i.e., buy more crap). So we’re all sitting there and this guy in the front is asking us to describe these mythical average people and what they’re like and what they do. Now, I have multiple issues with a bunch of well educated and affluent people pulling stuff out of the air about a person none of them actually know or can relate to, but the point is we kept talking about these working moms and how much they put into keeping their families together and on track. Especially interesting to me was one persona in particular where, under “hobbies”, it was listed “her family”. That kinda bummed me out. I mean, it’s not that I don’t love my family and all, but if they were my hobby? My only hobby?
And then I realized that the person they were describing wasn’t all that unlike Belle. Further, I realized that she hardly ever gets any time to herself. She works and works and then comes home to work some more on her “hobby” before falling into bed. In the past, I’ve tried to help her out and still encourage her to ask me to do whatever would give her a break, but she’s not very good at that and I’m not very good at seeing the things she wants done (as opposed to the things that really need to be done).
So I told Belle, when she’s back from Asia and everything settles into place again, that I wanted her to take one or two nights a week for herself. These should ideally be outside the house and, preferably, not spent at the office. She could go to dinner with friends or take that yoga class she’s been talking about forever or just go shopping. Whatever she wants. I’ll take care of the kids and homework and everything else. I don’t want her life to be consumed by the family. I want her to have some life separate from that.
And what does any of that have to do with chastity? I dunno. Maybe nothing. But I do think it’s helped me be more in touch with her needs and allowed me to be much better able to figure out ways to make her happy. Would I have thought of this without being starved of orgasms? I have no idea. I like to think I would have, but whatever. I did. And she’s very excited about the idea. Now all she needs to do is come home so we can start doing it.