Longer vs. harder

“It’s only been three weeks,” she said. “Maybe three and a half. I don’t feel at all sorry for you.”

So I tried to explain, it’s not just about duration. That is, my level of frustration/desperation is not an ever-increasing line on a chart that always goes up as it moves along the x-axis.

It’s true that I experience an extended refractory period now that I’m coming so infrequently. It seems as though after two orgasms, I can’t and/or am not interested in coming again for days. And I don’t feel really horny again for something like 10-14 days. A few years ago, I’d come and want it again 3-4 days later. Not anymore.

But, once I get past that time in which I’ve physically expended myself, it doesn’t seem to matter how long it goes. I can be voraciously horny (like I am now) after a few weeks and then not and then all hot and bothered again. It’s cyclical. How the cycle is timed, I have no idea. But, as I said, it’s not from a steady and constant build-up of tension. If it were, I’d eventually combust. In reality, it seems like I repeat the same up and down cycle over and over with more or less intensity each time.

It’s true I was super mega horny that one time I almost went three months. I was also major horny three and a half weeks ago when I had gone two months. But, truth be told, I’m just as horny right now as I was at those times. I think Belle’s a lot more perceptive of my state when she knows it’s been a really long time and perhaps more willing to indulge me, but from my perspective, there was no difference in how I felt last night as my fingers played across her clitoris than there was the moment she let me come after 90 days or the just before she let me come in the hotel after two months.

I mention this because I think there’s a perception among chastity and orgasm denial enthusiasts that longer is harder or better or whatever. I don’t feel that way (anymore). The plus side to that realization is, if you’re meant to wait for a long period, it should not be progressively more difficult to do so as time goes by. The minus side is, once you get past a certain point, there’s really no reason she ever needs to let you come. As long as you’re in a place where she’s satisfied with what you can do with regard to her pleasure, it isn’t like making you (the guy) wait for six more months will irreparably harm you.

It’s also to say, there’s nothing magical about longer periods. There’s a guy over on Chastity Forums who’s trying, right out the gate, to not come for a year. Except for the fact that it’s a nice round time-keeping unit upon which we hairless apes place a lot of significance, his experience won’t be “better” after 11 months than it might be at one. Of course, each guy is different. And, of course, I used to play the game where I tried to always beat my last longest period, so I totally get that. We’re guys. We’re wired to rise to challenges (so to speak – there’s actually not a lot of rising involved, if you think about it).

So, what am I saying? Am I saying I don’t want or need to be made to wait until the end of March? Am I *horrors!* trying to top from below with all my mumbo-jumbo fancy talk? No, not at all. It’s hot to be denied. It’s really hard sometimes (literally and figuratively), but it’s hot. I don’t deny it. If Belle thinks it’s hot to make me wait a long time, then wait I shall. From the standpoint of the guy who’s being denied, I don’t think long or short really matters as long as we’re still engaged with one another and both like how it’s going. Like I’ve said before, it’s difficult for me to differentiate between the “Jesus, I want to come so bad” kind of feelings and the “Christ, I wish this ordeal was over” kind of feelings, so I defer to her and assume that if I ever really and truly wanted it to end, I’d know.

In the mean time, I will wait for exactly as long as she wants, whether that’s another week, month, or year. I think she’s getting off on the control aspect, so that’s a huge plus. Knowing she wants to deny me more than I want to be denied is, in my calmer moments, one of the hottest and most erotic things I can possibly imagine. What I want her (and, by extension, all of you) to know is that the number of pages flipping by on the calendar without a squirt isn’t the driving force we might think it is. The true driving force is our increased intimacy and the mutual attentiveness that stems from my constant state of arousal. Lose that, and, to paraphrase Spock in Wrath of Khan, days could seem like months and months could seem like years.

6 thoughts on “Longer vs. harder

    1. No, I’m not usually so…em…eloquent when I’m talking with her IRL. I did say I *tried* to explain. That’s the blog’s for, I guess. A place for me to revise and expand upon our pillow talk.

  1. Thumper, you summarized the feelings PERFECTLY! I completely agree as my chastity period rolls on I am coming to realize more and more what you are talking about.

    Thanks for taking the time to articulate this. I am grateful as it helps give me a much better perspective.

    BTW, still going for the year, but obviously less inclined to be dogmatic about it given your blog post.

    1. I admire your enthusiasm! But yeah, my advice would be to do it as long as you should and no longer, whether that be a week, month, or year. This isn’t a video game. You don’t get prizes for clearing levels. 😉

  2. I always call this the point of diminishing returns (even though that carries probably the wrong connotation for this context). In other words, if one week is hot, then two weeks must be hotter. And of a month is erotic, then two must be twice as erotic, right? And three would be hotter still. And four? Wow. Five? Scorching!

    But really? Then why aren’t we all clamouring to go for a year, or three? Because at some point it’s just not going to be appreciably better. That point will be different for different people, and as you’ve discovered, at different times.

Say your piece

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s