Mailbag

Johnny wanted to know:

Can you explain how  the steelworxx pa fitting works. How does it feel when flaccid or hard? Does it put pressure on the piercing.

The fixing goes through the PA ring and then into the tube and onto the tube’s posts before locking. It allows for easy movement of the ring back and forth and up and down (to an extent) but does not allow for the PA ring to be completely withdrawn (and neither, therefore, is it possible for the penis). I don’t feel it at all when flaccid and will only occasionally feel a pinch when hard if I’m wearing my normal 4ga PA ring. Usually (like now) I’m wearing an 8ga ring and it’s rarely uncomfortable.

Here’s a video (way NSFW) I made a while back that shows how the whole thing comes together.

Tyler asked:

Hey man.  I love your blog about your Looker 02 chastity device.  I am very interested in getting one of these as well.  I have looked at the steelworxx website and I am confused about how I order one for my size.  How do I size myself and know which sizes to buy?  Are you in the US?  Is there anywhere in the US to get them?   Thanks man

There’s three sizes you need to order a Looker 02 (and pretty much any other device like that one): Flaccid penis length, flaccid penis circumference, and flaccid circumference around both the penis and your balls. I recommend several measurements since penises are tricky beasts and move around and back and forth, all on their own accord. Get an average and make sure, if it affects you, to specifically not think about what you’re doing. Also, do not succumb to the temptation to add length for your erection. You’ll be more comfortable in a shorter tube than a longer one.

Note that the circumference of your entire package is probably the one you’ll get wrong. You don’t want whatever size cock ring you wear since a cock ring needs to accommodate a fully erect penis and the A-ring of a chastity device doesn’t. However, if you make it too small, your balls will turn cold and blue and that’s VERY BAD. My advice, assuming you have the budget, is to get two or more rings and/or prepare yourself mentally to be sending your device back at some point to get a new ring.

There are other measurements like the gap between the ring and the tube, but I let Dietmar use his defaults on those and have been satisfied.

No, there is no US location for Steelworxx. It’s basically one craftsman in Germany (as far as I know).

Kerri said:

I’m not expecting you to reply, I just hope maybe you can help my journey.

I’ve been following your blog for over a year now and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for you to share your journey so publicly because I have found a lot of comfort in knowing that my desires aren’t necessarily singular, alone or deviant.

I would like to find an online resource where I can ask for advice in a safe environment.  I don’t know how to process the way I am feeling or how to best explain it to my husband.  I have looked for forums where I might ask advice, but I don’t want to bare my soul to anyone who is likely to think I am weird.

My husband and I have been together for 16 years, married for 12 and have 2 children.  I have always felt the way I do now but am so terrified of losing my husband, I either need to not feel how I do, or ask him to be what I need.

I don’t want to bother you with all our details, but if you can suggest any online resources that might help, please do.  I firmly believe that we can be great together based on the times we have experimented, but I would dearly love some advice on how to approach the situation so that I don’t ruin things between us.

I assume you’re a woman looking to be denied orgasm by your husband, though I suppose you could be the other way around.

I have never been asked this before, if indeed I’m correct about what you’re asking. You are not alone or deviant. Not at all and not in the slightest. My first advice would be to get yourself a FetLife profile and find a group of people like you and/or in your area. There’s also the book When Someone You Love is Kinky. You could get that and give it to your husband when you have the talk.

Other than that, I’m not sure what to say except that YOU ARE NOT A FREAK and if your husband loves you, he won’t think you are either. I have been where you are and felt as you do and am so much happier now to own who I am and what makes me happy. You will be, too, someday. I promise.

I ask my readers (many of whom are women) to chime in with their perspectives.

Niklas opined:

Sorry for the following cheesyness, but i really need to get this off my chest first:

“WOW!!! I stumbled upon your blog recently and its absolutely insane how much time and effort you seem to be devoting into it. Hands down: This is probably the best and most authentic ressource on the topic that i’ve seen and your videos and, posts and reviews have been a tremendous help and encouragement to give this whole thing a spin. Thank you SO MUCH for this great blog and keep keep up the good work”

You’ve got me to the point where i’m (quite literally) a mouseclick away from odering my first ever device and i’m sort of torn between the HolyTrainer 2 and the Steelheart. To me the trainer seems to make a lot more sense anatomically speaking and the steelheart seems to be kind of hard to keep clean…

However the price difference is not thaaaat big and you said the steelheart hangs lower (so is less visible?!) and generally metall i guess would be better. Also I have a PA so that would be a plus for the Steelheart.

I would still tend to the trainer but you seem to have such good experience with the Steelheart…

Also I’m wondering if there is a limit as to who can buy the smaller tubes with the Trainer. If i understand correct „the more squezed everything is, the more comfy, because an errections just doesn’t even built up“?

Maybe you’d give some advice to a novice if you have a minute. I’d be really really psyched.

Get the Holy Trainer 2. If you really dig it, upgrade to steel with a PA fixing later on.

The size of the tube is related to the size of your flaccid penis, not your erection. I can’t explain why, but giving your hard-on more room ends up being more painful than not.

Steph wanted to know:

Just looking for advice on what would be the best chastity for allowing one to workout .. these would be the areas i’d be considering —

cycling (spin classes and road bike), running, swimming, pilate/yoga

The choosing from my point of view really would seem to come down to having any behind-the-sac rings or going with tubes that would be kept on by pa piercings. i like the concept also of urethral tubes, but not too sure how that would go with working out.

A few months ago, I wrote this. Touches on a lot of what you’re asking.

That said, I don’t think any device will work for you doing pilates or yoga. Too much stretching, etc., and I’m assuming you aren’t interested in everyone seeing what’s locked between your legs. Steelworxx has several interesting devices (like this one) that don’t go behind scrotum, but I haven’t worn any of them. Perhaps one of those would be better for those kinds of activities.

That’s all I have right now. Regular apologies to those who waited for a reply.

One thought on “Mailbag

  1. I’m confused about exactly what it is that Kerri is asking, but if she is looking to be the keyholder, there are female friendly outlets for that as well. Just putting that out there.

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