Lipstick, meet pig

Big news today! No, not the Supreme Court argument over marriage equity. No, not the Baltimore riots. NO, not the tragedy in Tibet.

THERE’S GOING TO BE A GOLD CB-6000!

Dateline: Las Vegas.

Male chastity device manufacturer CB-X Male Chastity is putting the finishing touches on its new luxury chastity device, the CB-6000 Gold.

Man, gold is the new black, isn’t it? What can’t you get in gold these days? Apparently, they’re taking preorders to see how many of these shiny, shiny things to make. It doesn’t appear to be on their site as of this writing, but maybe soon.

This is where I kinda lost it, though…

The CB-6000 Gold combines the trending color combination of gold and black, reflecting CB-X’s philosophy as a luxury brand.

Luxury brand? OK, look. I get that the CB-X line is, apparently, the most popular male chastity device line on the planet. But it’s not fucking luxurious unless lots of fiddly plastic bits and ripped up scrotum skin count as the lifestyle of the rich and famous. The CB-6000 is a painful, uncomfortable dinosaur and CB-X badly needs to come out with a product that reflects improvements in male chastity design (such as ergonomic A-rings, simpler locking mechanisms, no-seam tubes, and the radical innovation of rounded surfaces). What’s their answer to the Holy Trainer? Shiny paint. Please.

They’ve milked (see what I did there) just about every ounce of value out of the CB-6000. Time to move on. I’m sure they’ll sell a million of the damned things (probably literally), but in my opinion, painting the CB-6000 up in gold is like putting lipstick on a pig. It makes the pig look marginally better, but it’s still a pig. Oink, oink.

5 thoughts on “Lipstick, meet pig

  1. I saw another chastity cage available in gold or silver. If you have the money, why not?

    If you have a hand made unique cage then you can get the big bucks for it if you do it right. What I hate to see is a cheap cage at a high dollar. I can buy direct from China at a quarter of that price. I’ve had the CB6000S and liked the fit, but the cage split and the ring dissolved. Last year I bought a stainless CB600S knockoff from China. It has held up well and is very secure. I’ve worn it for up to 3 weeks at a time. I was just released last night and I had some marks and sores on the tip of the penis. I found some rough spots inside the cage, which was not finished or polished like the outside. I got out my Dremel and some metal polish and proceeded to polish off the stainless plating. It now shines like brass inside. I’m not sure if I should keep polishing at this point to try and remove the brass and get to the base metal, which should be stainless. I think the brass will cause problems. Anyone know of a specialty shop where I could send this out and have it polished and replated? I like this thing, only wish it was a bit smaller.

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