Goal setting

It’s that time of year when we set goals for ourselves. Which is an interesting thing to do with regard to the stuff I talk about on this blog since literally none of the things are technically under my control. So are these goals I’m setting for myself? Or goals set by Belle? Or…schwa?

I dunno. But I can set for myself the goal of being faithful and true to whatever Belle wants for me in 2023. So, the goals I’m prepared to support are…

  • No stroking
  • No fucking
  • No orgasm
  • Locked 99.4% of the year

Stroking, fucking, and orgasm are all up to her, of course. She may decide she wants to be fucked at some point. And if so, I’ll do it. She may expect I’ll come if I do fuck her. And if so, I’ll do it. She may even tell me I can stroke myself, but that seems highly unlikely since it’s been years since she let me do that. So, maybe those goals will work out, maybe they won’t.

I have signed up for my orgasms and penis access to be determined by Belle and if she determines I won’t get any of it, then I support her decision and will do what’s necessary to make it happen.

The locked goal is based on how often I was locked in 2022. I came in being locked 98.9% of the year. Keeping in mind the times I was unlocked, I think some of those times can be optimized downward. Pushing it to 99.4% would mean roughly 50ish hours of unlocked time during 2023 which works out to about 4 hours unlocked a month. The only times I need to be unlocked are for travel (especially if I’m with family or coworkers) or a doctor’s visit (though I don’t always unlock for those — it depends). I’ve gotten really good at keeping unlock time for travel to a minimum and some months I won’t be going though the TSA gauntlet at all while other situations where I’ve traditionally needed to unlock to go though metal detectors are solved by the Evotion Orion. As long as I don’t get any chastity injuries (and the Orion won’t give me any), I really think being locked all but about 50 hours this year is totally doable. Maybe I can make it even less. I think I’d ultimately like that number to be 24 hours which is two a month, though that may be tough.

Beyond the above, the only other thing I can think of that could be set as a goal is how many orgasms I give Belle. But, again, that’s not up to me at all. I want to give her one every day which is ridiculous. Even if I want to come up with a number, tracking towards it puts pressure on Belle who should come exactly as many times as she wants, no more and no less. So that’s not a goal.

In the end, the thing I have the most direct influence over is the time locked and that’s a function of focusing on minimizing reasons to be unlocked. The other “goals” are really just things I’m committed to. For 2023 or as long as necessary.

8 thoughts on “Goal setting

  1. Because nothing says romance like early weekend morning sweet talk whispers of, “Honey, the kids are gone and I’m behind on my metrics, wanna feel real, real good? I’ll be fast.”

  2. Your goals are impressive, and I wish you and Belle much happiness in 2023. I always enjoy your posts, thank you for sharing your journey. I am inspired by your thoughts and informed by your reviews.

    My wife and I are much further down the experience curve in this area. All of this is pretty new to her. We married last year (second marriages, grown kids). She’s adventurous, but not as experienced with kink. I’ve been doing chastity (self-locking) for close to 20 years off and on. I’m trying to show her the options and benefits of this lifestyle, and then standing back until she decides what she likes. She’s definitely getting into having me locked (she checks periodically). This lifestyle helps me focus on her happiness, which brings us both great joy. She also likes my other proclivities, which are only casually related to chastity so I’ll not expound here but I’m sure you can guess one of them. :-).

    Having never tracked before, I’ve set a modest goal of 85% locked. I haven’t discussed this goal with her yet, but when I do, I’ll make the appropriate adjustment (e.g., up, down, abandon the numeric goal). My wife likes me unlocked when we make love, so that’s hopefully at least an hour four or more times a week.

    I’ve asked her if she’d like to set goals for an orgasm ratio for the year, and she’s considering it. So far, we’re at 5:1. It’ll be her call, but 10:1 or even 20:1 seems doable to me. I’ve also never tracked our orgasms, but I frequently go two to three weeks between them, even when we make love often. It took a while for her to comprehend that I’m content to not orgasm frequently. Once a month might be a good amount for me, but it’s up to her.

    I remind myself periodically that it’s the journey, and not the destination, that constitutes life. We’re really enjoying our new journey.

    1. It is about the journey. And my only caution would be not to overwhelm her with all the numbers and ratios and stuff. I did that with Belle and it was too much for her. She just wasn’t into that aspect of the whole thing. Otherwise, sounds like you guys are doing to right. Just don’t be surprised if you wake up one day and realize you haven’t come in a year. 😉

      1. 🤷🏻‍♂️ just wondering!

        Sent from my iPhone


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