Today is the one year anniversary of the last time Belle let me fuck her. The last time she let the contents out for anything other than fact of life-type necessities. When I did the sleuthing to figure out how long it had been, after I realized it had been a long time, I said I didn’t have a memory of that fuck. Luckily I have a blog and I (less often than I used to) write about the sex we have and, as a matter of fact, I wrote about that time.
It felt like the orgasm wouldn’t end. Even after I had shot my load, I felt involuntary contractions trying to milk as much juice as possible. My whole body arched around the erection. My abs actually kinda cramped from the effort.
I mean, if that is the last time, it sounds like the kind of one I’d want as the last one. And after reading my account of it, I do remember it. It was nice. I also wrote…
When will it happen again? Will it be five months? Five weeks? Five days? Tomorrow!? No idea. I don’t even bring it up. I’m not allowed to either 1) ask for an orgasm, or 2) advocate against one so I tend to just not talk about it at all with her for fear of it being misconstrued as one or the other. Of course, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to do it and I certainly don’t need to know if and when she wants it to happen again.
My reticence to ask about being let out makes it very hard for me to even ask if it’ll ever happen again when it seems like it won’t. But the other day, I screwed up the courage (since that’s all I can screw lol) and asked. She laughed and kind of scoffed at the question. But, in fact, she can’t say. She likes me locked up. She wants me that way more than not. Has wanted me that way for at least a year now. As much as I want closure on the matter — certainty — she doesn’t want to be boxed in. And I don’t have the right to ask her to be.
So, I suppose, nothing has changed. That’s been her basic POV on the issue for just about forever. But we’ve never gone this long without the contents getting wet so, to me, it kinda feels like we’ve turned a corner. Nothing has changed and everything has changed. But she won’t commit. She doesn’t have to. That’s the deal. It’s what I signed up for. It’s what I begged for.
I ended my post from a year ago the same way I could end this one.
In a way, that total lack of control creates its own kind of peace. All I have to do is be ready for whatever she wants.
The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess.
Happy First Anniversary!
Congrats. So, now T&D is just D? At “one year”, what meaningful T remains? Does the tube still “pressurize”, when there’s no real expectation of release?
Yeah, it does. Turns out, the stupid thing doesn’t really employ logic.
It gets harder easier when it’s not locked, though. It’s been like that for a long time. I believe that’s why some people mistakenly think chastity leads to erectile dysfunction. But it does still get hard when I’m getting her off or having sexual fantasies or reading/looking at certain porn.
Well, then keep relaying the certain porn. Your collection and eye for “what’s hot” is very much appreciated, when locked or not!
While our circumstances are different, in many ways, we are in similar situations. Your post prompted me to check my notes. The last time Mrs. Lion let me fuck her was in February 2018. Five long years ago. I, too, remember that time. I’ve hinted that it would be nice to do it again, but so far, she isn’t interested.
Beautiful writing. Liked the way you brought your thoughts back then side by side to your thoughts today.