Tag: chastity devices

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A tale of two lubes

There are a few different points of view with regard to lubrication and the practice of wearing male chastity devices. When we first got into it, most of the advice I saw online said baby oil was the way to go. Some said lotion. Others maintain you don’t really need lube at all and if you think you do, you have an ill-fitting device. With this last group, I totally disagree. I’ve worn three different devices made of both plastic and steel and have always, to one degree or another, need to lube it up. I think individual body chemistry is a big part of determining if one needs to keep things slippery down there. If you’re one of the lucky few who are just naturally oily, then this post isn’t for you.

The contenders

I tried baby oil early on. It’s main benefit is that it’s easy to find (though not always in a non-baby scented state) and it’s cheap. On the minus side, it’s oil and tends to run all over. Plus, I didn’t find its lubrication properties to be all that terrific or long-lasting. By lunchtime, it was as if it had never been. Lotion, I found, ended up getting sticky and left residue so that it eventually did the opposite of lubricate. Regular water-based lubes like KY or others meant specifically for intercourse didn’t last and also can also leave a sticky residue. Plus, many of those types include sugars that one really should not be using in close contact with warm and moist environments. That led me to silicone lubes.

The first one I tried was System JO’s Premium lubricant. Compared to the other alternatives, it’s quite expensive (around $20 for a small bottle), but a very little bit goes long way, so in practice a 4.5 oz. bottle can last months and months (4-6, on average). It’s entirely odorless and leaves no residue whatsoever. Also, it’s terrifically slippery stuff. After applying it around the ring of the Steelheart, movement is practically frictionless. By the end of the day, while most of it is gone, I can still detect a bit of it still doing its job, especially down under the scrotum where it’s most important. In short, I was thrilled and recommended it without reservation.

Then, I found another silicone lube for sale at Target. It’s called Astroglide X and was a bit cheaper than System JO (around $10, though in a smaller bottle) plus, since I’m in Target about a half dozen times a week, it’d be way more convenient should I run out and need more.

Even though they’re both “premium” and both “silicone”, in actual fact, they’re not the same at all. Their ingredients tell the story best. System JO Premium wins purely on complexity. Its label says it has four ingredients, two of which contain 28 letters each(!), and it says it’s “hydroxy-terminated”, whatever that means. The Astroglide X, on the other hand, has only two ingredients, neither of which are found in the System JO product and there’s no hydroxy termination claimed. They’re entirely different.

This become evident as soon as you pour a little out. The System JO is like clear, fantastically slippery maple syrup while the Astroglide is much thinner and nearly as slick. You can put a dime-sized dab of System JO on your fingers and have time to close the bottle and put it down before it’ll start to run away. The Astroglide is harder to tame and will start to slip through and around your fingers as soon as it’s set free.

big boy bottleOK, so which is better at lubricating a steel chastity device? System JO, hands down. The Astroglide X is a fine product and good in a pinch, but the System JO Premium lasts longer. It just does. Also, when the Astroglide has run its course and is no longer lubricating, it feels to me like it leaves a slightly grippy texture behind. The device feels less free to move around than it would had I used nothing and there’s a residue left on the steel tube. The JO totally dissipates. As I said above, it will still be noticeable 12 hours after application, but even when it’s all gone, there’s nothing at all left behind. It’s clearly a superior product for my purposes.

As I was beginning to run out, I decided to invest in a large pump bottle of the JO Premium. It was about $45 for 16 ounces, but it filled both my smaller bottles (one for the bathroom and one for the nightstand) with a lot to spare. This one bottle will last me way more than a year, I’m sure. I figure it comes out to about 20¢ a day (applied twice over 18 months assuming I’m locked up 75% of the time).

So, with all that said, you might still be in the baby oil camp or the hand lotion camp or one of those people who says no lube at all is the best, but, if you’re not so set in your ways that you’re willing to try something new, System JO Premium receives the official Denying Thumper seal of approval. Highly recommended (still).

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Horny + sick = bleh

I’m sick. Bleh. I feel like crap.

Usually, Belle’s sympathy for me in these situations would lead her to be somewhat more lax with regard to the enforcement of my chastity (meaning she’d let me take the thing off, not let me come), but I already had it off due to more penis head irritation.

This is the second time I’ve had this issue with the new Steelheart Short (SHS). It’s happened a few times in the old one, so I was willing to look the other way and just chalk it up to life in steel, but now it’s happened both time I put the device on after not wearing one for a while. The last time, after things had cleared up (usually takes about 24 hours), I was fine for two weeks. This time, I was also sick and felt miserable and was honestly glad to be rid of it, but this morning I woke up extraordinarily horny and sick. Since I’m at home and unsupervised, I voluntarily went back in. The last thing I need to do is waste my energy jacking off for 12 hours.

Anyway, about the irritation, I think it’s due to things being so cramped in there. In SH1, the head of the cock bounced around against the wall of the tube and only reached the bottom when it was becoming erect. In SHS, it’s against the curve of the end of the tube more frequently. I wonder how things would be different if I was uncircumcised (only for about the four millionth time in my life [And how screwed up is it that uncircumcised is only word we commonly use to describe the natural state of a penis that hasn’t been fucked with? Circumcision should start with “un.” Like “unnatural”. But I digress.]). Another factor I can’t put a finger on is urine. Every time this happens, I feel a burning when I pee (on the outside). What I’d like to know is can urine be acidic? Are there times when, if it’s allowed to remain in contact with skin, it will result in irritation? Usually, I’m good at shaking a lot of the excess urine out when I pee and cleaning it up at night, but that might be a factor. I suppose the Google could tell me…but I don’t want to look. I’m sick. *cough*

As I said last time, we’re about to go on vacation so I don’t expect to have any seriously uninterrupted tube time until we get back. Then again, Belle commented after my last post that perhaps we’d bring it along and use it for those times it was practical and only let me out when it wasn’t. We’ll see how it turns out.

I other news, Dan Savage linked to an interesting account of a guy who allowed his girlfriend to peg him since he was interested in anal sex with her. First off, good for him, right? Sounds eminently fair to me. The cool bit was this:

After it happened, I felt the same exciting relief I imagine a girl feels after losing her virginity on prom night. I never realized the incredible amount of bravery it takes to let someone inside you. It’s asking someone to stab you in the back, but lovingly. Masculine courage is throwing yourself headfirst into danger, like jumping out of a plane, but feminine courage is letting danger throw itself headfirst into YOU. It’s even more badass. I look at women like soldiers now, and older women as grizzled retired Generals that I wholeheartedly salute.

I also never realized how instantly bonding sex can be on the receiving end. I already felt close to her before we began our little experiment, but now I feel like she’s tattooed under my skin. Even though she was staying the night, I almost begged her to call me the next day.

I read that and I think, Wow, maybe there is hope for our culture. That’s just so awesome. But then I read this in the comments on Dan’s blog:

Ah yes, another bullshit masculine/feminine binary.

And I think, Oh Jesus, just fuck off, OK? Can’t we have heart-felt accounts of intimate acts? Does everything need to be passed through a bullshit sieve of some self-proclaimed thought cop?

Sorry. Sensitive topic, I guess. Anyway, I thought it was a beautiful piece (as, I hope, he was for his girlfriend).

Reader Mike left a comment to my last post:

Please don’t take this as criticism, but I wonder if your expectations on her are too high? It took me some time, but I had to realize that I was the one who wants to be locked up, and if I ever said I was done with it, than she would probably agree and move on without skipping a beat. I have a great wife, and she “plays the game” wonderfully, but in truth, its just an adventure, and not the epi-center of our relationship.

What I wrote was not to say, Gee, I wish Belle took this chastity thing more seriously. Rather, it was that I had stopped respecting it and its role in our relationship (and, ultimately, her right to put me in it whenever she wanted). In fact, Belle’s told me on several occasions that she prefers me as a mate when I’m locked in the device. She’s really not “playing the game” anymore. If I were to say I was done with it, I’m sure she’d go along, but there would be a great deal of conversation around the decision. It’s not just mine anymore.

And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say enforced chastity is the epicenter of our relationship, it is clearly a significant component. It has been integrated fundamentally into how we relate to each other and has radically changed how I perceive my body and its functions.

So, I’m no expert, and defer to your experience and machinations of your marriage, but ultimately, I have to guide my wife through this. I have to let her know that I’m ready to get locked up, and she plays the role well, but she is just supporting my fantasy. If I had never said “chastity device”, she would never have brought the cb-6000 into our life.

Clearly, our experience in the beginning was similar to yours. I brought chastity into our relationship and it took Belle a while to really own it in the way she does now. However, we’re way past the point where this is about my fantasies. This is about both of us and equally as much about how she wants me to be as it is about how I want her to be.

So, when you say “I know (I really do) that it’s all up to her in the end”, I wonder if you are correct? Who drives this element of your life really, you or her? If it is her, AWESOME!! But if this is really all about you, is it fair to ask her to think about your sexual fantasy 24/7 and be able to read your mind?

Enforced chastity has allowed us to be much more communicative, but as improved as all that is, there’s still a bit of mind reading that goes on because we’re both imperfect people.

Like I say, I’m not trying to be a jerk. I’m learning a lot from you, and am very new to chastity. However, I had to learn the hard way that this was more about my kinky ideas than hers.

I don’t think you’re being a jerk at all. Eighteen months ago, you would have been spot-on. Now, though, I feel like we’ve achieved the goal so many men think they want. That is, both partners being equally invested in the many benefits of controlling my orgasm. I am, as I have said so many times before to her and here, an extraordinarily lucky and thankful rabbit.

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Short respit

I was out of the new Steelheart Short for 24 hours following an episode of corona abrasion. I could feel it coming on Sunday night as a burning sensation after I’d pee but I didn’t ask to be removed because, you know, I’m a guy and we think we can just tough it out. Obviously not a good idea, but I seem to think I’ve been able to get through this when it’s happened before, though in reality, I haven’t.

So the tube came off and the coronal ridge on the right side was red and unhappy looking (and I was reminded again that if I were uncircumcised it probably wouldn’t be an issue). Probably happened Sunday afternoon when I worked out on the elliptical machine without any support. Lots of device motion rubbing against the skin. By the end of the day yesterday, it felt and looked much better. I probably could have gone back in at bedtime, but Belle had me stay out until this morning. She’s gone on a trip for the next few days, so ready or not, I was going to have to get back in there.

I don’t believe this is an issue with the new device as much as it’s a known issue with this type of device. It’s happened to me before. There’s just a higher level of awareness that’s involved in wearing a closed system like the Steelheart.

Back in the secure confines, after Belle left and I was alone in the house, I updated the Portfolio and felt again the newly constricted feeling I will be living with from now on. It’s very much different than the old Steelheart. I said in an early write up about it that the SH-1 was a more forgiving chastity experience since the cock had more room to grow in before being constrained. It’s true that the feeling of being hard in the larger tube wasn’t as intense as the CB6K I had been in before, but it’s also true that the new tube with approximately 60% of the internal volume of the old is still more comfortable than the CB6K and is at least as comfortable (in a different way) as the larger tube. It’s possible my tolerance of being restricted is higher now than it was back then based on how long I’ve been doing this now. It’s also possible the configuration of the CB6K with it’s sharp, hard edges and oval, compressive tube design just isn’t as comfy.

I said the other day that the diameter of the old and new tubes is the same, but I don’t think that’s entirely true. Perhaps it is, but I know that getting everything shoved into the new tube (cock, PA ring, PA fixing) is harder than it was in the old. The effective amount of space in there now is so much lower that the circumference feels smaller. I’ve lost almost an inch and a half of length, after all.

In any event, in the SH-1 I would feel constrained while in the SH-S I feel compressed. Almost exactly like how the Jail Bird feels, but without the mild testicular pain (caused, I suspect, by the lack of space between the cage and the cuff ring along the bottom of the device).

Belle will be gone until late Thursday night, so if I start to feel that the abrasion isn’t healed, I’ll need to bust out the emergency key and be good. I really do not want to do that, but being all tough will only postpone the inevitable. Besides, looking on the bright side, maybe if I get out without her permission she’ll punish me when she gets home.

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Steelheart Short

I came home yesterday to find that the new shorter Steelheart tube had finally (FINALLY) found its way to our mailbox. Because I’m the compulsive nerd that I am, I immediately rustled it away into the bathroom so I could check it out.

From this point forward, I will refer to my original Steelheart tube as SH-1 and the new one as Steelheart Short, or SH-S. Technically, there’s no “short” version of the Steelheart (unlike the CB6K) because a SH tube can be ordered in a almost any size you want, but I have to call it something, so SH-S it is.

My immediate reaction upon slipping it out of its drawstring bag was, “Holy crap, that’s small!” I ordered a tube 35mm in diameter and 70mm long, 35mm shorter than the the SH-1 but the same diameter. That’s exactly what I got, but in reality it seems smaller than I thought it’d be. My intention was to have a tube with a bit more room than the Jail Bird’s, but what I ended up with was something that feels about the same size. I thought I’d need a little more room due to the internal security features (PA fixing and ring), but there’s very little if any. Essentially, the SH-S is a closed version of the JB.

Fit and finish is, as expected, very good. Steelworxx makes an exceptionally well-crafted custom steel product. I have experience with only one other manufacturer of steel devices, but I have to assume that those from Steelworxx are among the best available. A thing of beauty.

The JB looks a little shorter and a little fatter than the SH-S, but I think that’s an illusion based on their different types of construction. The JB’s bars are thicker than the tube walls of the SH-S while the gap between the cage and the cuff ring is greater than that of the SH-S tube and ring (at least at the top of the device). The SH-1 is downright cavernous compared to the SH-S and also feels wider, though it isn’t. It’s a normal sensation to feel the end of he cock bumping around inside the SH-1’s tube (like a clapper in a bell) but I haven’t felt much movement inside the SH-S at all. Note that in the image comparing the two Steelhearts, the SH-1 is shown with its original 45mm cuff ring and the SH-S is shown with my standard 40mm ring.

The SH-S, like the JB, is practically imperceivable under normally fitting clothes. Much less obtrusive than the SH-1. Also, since there’s less room in the tube, it’s practically silent, even with the PA ring in place. It may be only a third shorter than the SH-1, but it feels less than half the size in my pants. Belle said she could tell it was on but that it only made me look well-hung (as opposed to the freak of nature the SH-1 must have made me look like). In the SH-1, the tube would, on occasion, be visible in all it’s long, fat, smooth glory while the SH-S just sort of makes the bulge more pronounced but without much definition of the device itself.

In action, while the JB and the SH-S appear to be similarly configured, they interact with erections differently. In the JB, the cock will attempt to get hard and bulge a bit out of the sides of the cage, but ultimately sort of bunches up behind the device. Instead of an erection, it feels more like a mass of hardness under the device. In the SH-S, however, the erection is allowed to take more of its normal shape, though inside my body. The SH-S raises up off my body more than the JB or SH-1 do and I can feel more definition of the erect shaft behind it. The SH-S might be a tad more comfortable during erection, but it’s just been one play session and night so far, so I’m not willing to make that claim yet. I did have to change my PA ring this morning from the larger, more secure one to the smaller one because there just wasn’t enough room for it and the cock inside the tube last night. I hope the smaller one will find it easier to live in there.

But, you might be asking, I though you weren’t going to get locked back up until Sunday morning? Well, that’s what I thought, too. I put the SH-S on last night just to take it out for a spin, but Belle decided I might as well leave it on indefinitely now, so I ended up sleeping in it. Following our experiment with virtual chastity, Belle has decided she’d rather have me in a device. While I followed the rules all week and only touched myself sexually when she gave me permission to do so, she says she preferes the sense of security the steel provides. She like knowing what state I’m in and that’s only possible when I’m locked up. Also, she says I’m a “better person” when I’m locked up. More focused and well behaved. I’m like, she says, a dog that prefers to sleep in his kennel because he knows it’s his home. Finally, I think she really has grown to like the look of the steel cock better than the real one. So. Yeah. I’m locked up two days early for who knows how long.

I’ve included pictures comparing the two devices while being worn (because you really wanted to see more pictures of me in steel, I know), but I put them after the jump because they’re obviously NSFW.

Continue reading “Steelheart Short”

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Feel the burn

Last night, after Belle went to sleep and told me I was allowed to play with myself, there was a point where I had stroked the cock so much that had I dared to even breathe on it, I would have had an orgasm. I had already milked seven thick slugs of ejaculate from myself without satisfying, even in the slightest, my need to come. I was able to pull up with the awareness of how close I was, but just prior I was in a place where I wanted it so bad that my hand wrapped around the cock formed a single thing upon which every molecule of my being was focused.

And then I let go. And the cock bobbed and quivered and flexed and I knew that if my fingers so much as as grazed the flared head of the cock, that I’d orgasm (most likely dryly). Thinking about it now causes a low thrum under the stiffening cock.

It was fucking torture. Fucking. Torture. The smell of the semen was everywhere and the taste of it was thick in my throat and its sticky sliminess was rubbed all over the cock shaft and between my fingers but I did not come. I dared not. It would be a betrayal of everything I lived for now, including Belle’s trust. I existed in that vaporous microscopically thin space between desire and control and it made me burn.

When I knew I had taken things as far as I possibly could, I cleaned up and went to bed. The cock leaked and leaked onto the sheets so that after 20 minutes I was laying in what felt like a post-coitus wetspot. Besides the leaking, the cock also stung from the abuse on its skin – skin that’s not too often abused that way and has become thin and sensitive. The ring flopped in the PA hole and caused the inside of the cock to feel raw and sore. But still, I wanted more. I wanted everything I could not have because it’s no longer mine to take.

My sleep was fitful and I often found myself cleaving to Belle, pressing the hard cock into her leg and putting my hands inside her bedclothes. I want her so bad. Then, now, always. I’m consumed by desire for her and the gift only she can give.

Living this way is so much harder than being in the device. So much more intense and distracting. Belle told me I was going back in on Sunday morning (which is an odd time), and truly, I will be thankful to have the cock put out of reach. Especially if she doesn’t let me come before the key turns.

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Back to normal

On a day that a lot of guys look forward to getting their dicks wet, I got the opposite yesterday when Belle told me it was time to lock me back up.

My freedom wasn’t a function of Belle’s timing. There were a combination of events (including air travel) that required I be free and those events were over on Sunday, so Valentine’s Day or no, she reasserted her control over the situation. The free week and the single orgasm ensured that my hands were down my pants as often as possible. My urge to orgasm can never be sated with a single squirt (at least, not anymore). At first, I wasn’t sure what I was allowed to do with regard to diddling her property, but the rules seem to be I am allowed, while free, to touch myself but, of course, am not allowed to have an orgasm.

While I edged myself countless times over the week, I can say I was never actually close to losing control. The higher brain functions were firmly in place and every part of me, from my hand to my brain to the cock itself, knew that there may be milking but there would be no coming. I honestly don’t want to come without her now. I feel like our dynamic is really humming and, frankly, my relationship with her is worth so much more than a furtive squirt. I see the times when I can touch the cock as a real gift from her – a break from normal – and I wouldn’t want to violate the spirit of the gift by taking advantage of the access.

In any event, I had a hard time cleaning the cock this morning because it kept filling the tube so much that I couldn’t flush any water in there. It wanted to come out and play, but neither of us could make that happen. While updating the Portfolio this morning, I really felt the need to pull on it. Of course, all I have is a hard, unfeeling steel tube. Perhaps for that reason, more so than usual, the pictures of cocks are really speaking to me. The various urges ebb and flow, but right now I really want a cock and there are just too many pictures of beautiful ones on the Tumblr.

In other news, I expect the shorter Steelheart tube will be landing soon. These custom steel devices take so long, especially when they’re forged in the Fatherland. Getting back in the swing of sporting the steel has me once again jonesing for a less obtrusive protective device.

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About that key

Kiki, from the fantastically named blog The adventure of a dick in a box, commented on my last post…

Glad to hear the key turned up!

Yes. About that. In actual fact, we never found it. We ended up using my emergency key. When the time comes for her to lock the cock back up (tomorrow night, I’m told), she’ll use the back-up lock and keys we bought last time one of the primary keys went missing. Such are the things you need to be prepared for if you end up in a device with a custom lock.

I meant to mention all this in my previous post, but forgot.

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Keyless

Belle’s lost my key.

I just like saying it. Belle, my keyholder, has lost the key to the inescapable steel trap she locked onto my body. Yes, that key.

No biggie.

If you remember, she locked me up before she went away last week (wisely not trusting me to be alone with the cock). I gave her the key back when I was done. The next time I saw it was a couple of days later when my son (of all people) showed it to me and asked me what it was for.

“Uh,” I said, “Where’d you find that?”

His friend had found it on the floor of my son’s room. Very weird. So I took it back and, redirecting him from his original question like Obi Wan Kenobi, told him I’d give it to his mom. I placed it in my pants pocket. Which pair? No idea. No neither of us know where it is now. Maybe it’ll show up in the laundry.

Not that it’s at all necessary. She appears to be wanting to keep me locked up until at least Valentine’s Day. She hasn’t come out and said that explicitly, but I know how she works. She likes holidays. So that’s still a few weeks away. If not Valentine’s Day, then maybe St. Patrick’s Day. It’ll turn up. I’m not worried. Much.

And if not, there’s always the emergency key.

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Hot spots

Imagine we’re facing each other and I’m naked. Yes, I know, it’d be an incredibly surprising situation for either of us to be in, but I’ve put us there to help illustrate something.

So, we’re facing each other and I’m naked. If you were to look at the cock (go ahead, look – Belle won’t mind), you might be able to see, in about the 10:00 position, a irritated line about an inch long curving around the top of the scrotum. Also, down below (where you can’t see, unless you ask me to lift my balls) is another little spot at about the 5:00 position. Both of these were caused by the Jail Bird’s tight ring. I switched back to the Steelheart but was only able to wear it for a day until those two hot spots forced me out. They hurt.

Interestingly, they appeared after I had been able to wear the JB for a week. I had started to get used to it’s insistent grip so that at night, when all the plumbing is at it’s highest pressure, the bad kind of pain was starting to wane. I had thought I’d be able to wear it until whenever I get the new tube for the Steelheart, but alas, it was not to be. I probably didn’t keep the ring lubricated well enough.

In any event, Belle’s let me out until I’m better or Thursday, whichever comes first. She goes to San Francisco to hang out with her best friend for the weekend. I won’t be left unlocked, of course. Until then, she said she’d check the hot spots every night and, if they looked better, put me back in. Regardless, I go in when she leaves. It’s a nice feeling, that kind of attention to my well-being.

I’m stuck at home today for mundane reasons and, before she left, Belle told me I could consider myself gifted with the Token. That is, I’m allowed to pleasure myself however I want (short of orgasm, naturally). Problem is, there are people in the house doing work at the moment so I’m unable to partake. Also, unlike every other time she’s let me have at myself, this time I have free meat. I’m not sure she’s thought that permission through all the way. I don’t want to come and wouldn’t plan on doing so, but accidents happen, especially in the heat of the moment.

Maybe the strangers hanging around is a good thing.