Tag: submission

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Big ginger

I went out for drinks after work last night with a client and a coworker. I don’t normally drink, but I’ve discovered I like whiskey and ginger ale. It’s caller a Big Whiskey in these parts, though I’ve found not all bartenders have heard of it. Also, I’ve found I like it with Johnny Walker Black. Nice and smooth. Buttery, even. Mmmm.

Yeah, so I don’t normally drink, but I managed to get one down before anyone else showed up and was well on my way to number three before the entire group arrived. The appetizers helped me get my wits back together so I stopped at three. I was in good shape by the time we broke up, but feeling very sleepy. Since, you know, I’m a lightweight.

When I got home, Belle was working on a presentation for work in bed so I zoned watching stupid TV until she was done. Once the lights were out, I pretty much was too, but she decided to have a little conversation. I can’t remember what prompted it, but she mentioned something about maybe leaving me in a device all the time. I pointed out that I’m pretty much in a device all the time now, but she said she was talking about forever. Like, I wouldn’t get out again. She reminded me of my last post and I, sleepily, reminded her that not coming ever again and not ever getting out of chastity ever again are really different things. I admit that I would rather be locked up than not and don’t feel right if some kind of steel isn’t between my legs, but I still like getting out once every week or so. I mean, it’d be such a waste now that I’ve become so good at not coming when she fucks me. Anyway, it didn’t get much further than that. I fell asleep.

Speaking of fucking, I got some of that over the weekend. She let me out Sunday morning but didn’t use the penis for her pleasure opting instead to come from my fingers. After, though, she let me fuck her. I was able to go for quite a while and, at least this time around, never got close to coming. I did want to. I told Belle I felt like I wanted to come.

“No you don’t,” she said.

No, I didn’t. But did at the same time. She mentioned that I should be entered in some kind of chastity Olympic stamina event, I was fucking her so long. Eventually, she told me it was time to end. I wanted to keep going forever, but no. She left me out the rest of the day and all that night. The next day, she put me in the Jail Bird.

I wanted to go in the Looker again and told her that if she would rather, I’d be happy to put that one on instead. There was a time that she didn’t like the JB as much. She reminded me that I didn’t get to decide which device I was in and said she like the JB just fine. So that’s what I’m in.

This morning, as I was getting back from the gym, she was just pulling out of the garage. I gave her a kiss through her car’s window and had one of those bolt from the blue moments I just never had when I was coming whenever I wanted. With her soft lips on mine, I was aware of her whole body and craved every bit of it. In just a few lingering seconds, I felt a jolt of electricity jump from my crotch, through our kiss, down to her snatch, and all the way back. I wanted to jack off badly but had to be content with tending the porn farm. Funnily enough, I found myself selecting a large number of images involving pussies. They were all so fascinating. Afterward, as I was getting into the shower to not jack off, I found my nuts slick with clear leakage from the penis. Even after the shower and after I dried off, it was still coming out.

So, you know, everything’s great here.

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Thirty minutes of freedom

Last Sunday was a bit more than advertised. Belle did let me out and she did, in fact, fuck me. Also, I once again kept it together and resisted coming. Relatively speaking, I wasn’t even close. This brings my streak to five for the number of times Belle’s been able to get off on the penis without me ruining everything with an orgasm. Again, I thought about politics, but with baseball over and the election about to mercifully come to an end, I’m going to have to find another unsexy thing to keep my mind distracted from the feeling of her pussy sliding back and forth over the aching, neglected shaft.

She also let me have a go at her once she was through glowing and stuff. Her pussy felt incredibly hot and sensuous and I was once again sweating out my desire to come in her. Cold, damp sweat. I ended up leaking copiously, but no orgasm. Belle told me the ride was coming to an end and I withdrew about 80% and just moved the head back and forth feeling her labia playing over the overly sensitive glans. Holy fuck, you know? I’m almost shuddering now just typing these words…

In any event, the Looker 02 came off immediately prior to the fucking and the Steelheart Short went over the still-sticky meat immediately after. I never left the bed unlocked. Couldn’t have been more than thirty minutes of freedom, but they were action-packed.

Later that day, after her parents had been over for dinner, she told me in the kitchen that she wanted to go at it again. I pointed out the kids were still up and she rejoined that our bedroom had a door with a lock. With memories of coronal ridges bumping past labial folds dancing in my mind, we retired to the bedroom and locked said door.

I quickly discovered that the coronal ridge was out of luck. The device wasn’t coming off again. We both got naked (except for the steel) and I took up my position next to her, sucking and pinching her nipples and playing with her pussy. Outside the door, the dog was going to town on a squeaky toy.

“He’s excited for us,” Belle said.

“Errhurmph,” I said, mouth full of tit.

“Well, he’s excited for me, anyway.”

“Ermph,” I replied.

I have a remarkably well-tuned sense of how her orgasms develop now and I could tell things weren’t coming along as they should. She brought out Pink, her favorite vibrator, and I used that instead of my fingers. Still, no dice. She took it out of my hand and benched me from below-the-belt action so I redoubled my attention to her nipples. Eventually, she came, but it was a different kind of orgasm. Longer and broader as opposed to a sharp crescendo  Belle’s just one of those girls who has a hard time with the multiple orgasm thing. More like a guy that way, actually.

Anyway, since then I’ve been back in the Steelheart after quite a lot of time in the Looker. It’s taken me all week to readjust at night. The nocturnal erections are a lot more intense in the SH-S with its smaller ring and tighter gap. Given a few more days, I’ll probably be sleeping through most of it, but it’s a very different experience from both the Looker and the Jail Bird (both with slightly larger rings).

It’s now been just over four months since my last orgasm. That’s clearly record territory. Belle mentioned last night that I’m just two months away from my next chance to have one and I suppose I should be looking forward to that, but I’m ambivalent. If I can go six months, I can go for the rest of my life, right?

Right?

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Changing outfits

The other day, I was stripping out of my day clothes and into something more comfortable whilst in front of Belle. She looked over and saw the Looker dangling between my legs and said that this weekend she’d “change my outfit” (meaning I’d be locked in a different device from her collection). Also, she indicated that she’d likely want to use the penis while it was available.

Last night, I was snuggled up against her, pressing as much of my body against as much of hers as possible, and asked when I was coming out. Based on how these things have gone down in the past, I assumed I’d have a day or so of freedom. She told me I misinterpreted what she said and then let me know how it was going to go down this time.

“So you’re just going to fuck me and then lock me back up?”

“Pretty much.”

Whimper.

For those wondering, it’ll be the Steelheart Short this time around.

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Happiest penis on earth

We’re back from our journey deep into the heart of the Happiest Place on Earth.

For those who were wondering from my previous post on the subject, the West coast version of the HPOE does not use metal detecting wands on park guests. That meant, after the first day, I was in the L02 until we departed. It’s hard to be around so many people and wonder how many other men are locked up. Or how many would like to be if only they could build up the courage to bring it up with their partner.

Anyway, it was good that the device was off for at least one reason on that first day since it was our wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we booked massages at the spa in the resort. In the past, my experience with massages has been that they leave a towel or other cloth for you to climb under during the rubbing, but in this case, the sheet was whisper thin. When on my back, I’m quite sure the masseuse (a guy who had a definite gay vibe about him) could see if I was circumcised (and that, of course, made me very much aware of the massage-induced tumescence that can spring to life from time to time). Any device would have plainly been on display. In general, I wouldn’t advise anyone wear one to a massage unless it’s your thing to share your sex life with strangers. Personally, I wish we lived in a culture where it would be acceptable, but really, it’s not. In any event, I had a 90-minute deep-tissue rub-down that left me rubbery, fragrant, and slick with oil. Really great. I need these more often.

Belle mentioned during our fantastic dinner afterward that the resort’s security allowed for me to be in my usual state and that I would be the next morning. Beforehand, though, she took advantage of our private bedroom and the penis’ availability to bring herself to orgasm while fucking me from on top. This is about four times now that she’s been able to do that without me coming which is a feat I’m pretty happy about. She prefers penetrative orgasms and I’m very pleased to be able to help her get them. At least for the past several times, I’ve been able to put myself in a place that keeps me far enough away from coming as necessary. This means I don’t actually get a lot of pleasure from the sex, but that’s not the point anyway. And usually, she let’s me go for a ride after her post-orgasmic glow recedes. Then, I can fuck like I mean it, but without the natural pay-off.

I went right back into the Looker as soon as we got home and remain there now, though Belle’s mentioned she might want to get off on the penis again this weekend. Not sure exactly, but I’ve been wearing the new device for probably just over a month total now. Interestingly, the urethral plug has become less and less noticeable during that time. I still feel it every once in a while, but it’s nothing at all like it was for the first week or so. Like wearing a device in general, the fact that I have this seven to eight centimeter titanium tube impaling the penis has become second nature. For those wondering, there’s been no internal pain or discomfort. After it comes out, it feels as though it was never in. Even the weird cavitating sensation I talked about when peeing, while still present, is no longer a discomfort.

The only issue I’m having with the L02 right now may or may not have anything to do with the plug. For some reason, since putting it back on when I got home, I’ve been getting the foreskin and edge of the glans pinched against the edge of the cap on the end of the cage when laying on my stomach in bed or after shifting my seated positon, etc. Not all the time, but enough times that it’s noticeable and not a fluke thing. I don’t know what’s changed, but I wonder if the penis isn’t moving as freely along the plug as it once was. When wearing a steel device for a long time, there will eventually form deposits like hard water scale. In the Steelheart, this happens near the inside end of the tube where the little bit of urine that doesn’t drain can sit. It’s possible something similar is happening on the plug shaft and that’s keeping the penis from settling in as far as it used to which, in turn, is leaving things in a pinch-able position. The way to deal with these deposits is to soak the device for a few minutes in vinegar. Afterward, they rub right off. Kinda like getting the scale out of your coffee maker. If Belle lets me out this weekend, I’ll do that and see how things change (assuming she puts me back into the L02 and not one of her other options).

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Scruffy and smelling of wood smoke

Back from my weekend away from Belle. It was the last hurrah hang out in the woods with the squirrels and other furry critters (and friends) weekend of the year. Not in tents this time but all huddled together in a rude, uninsulated “cabin” in the sticks. Belle at first said I’d be going in the Steelheart but I’m not ashamed (OK, maybe a little) to say I begged to be let out beforehand and she gave me the key.

The night I got back (and after I showered off four days of campfire stink and shaved off a week of stubble), she didn’t make me go back in so I was treated to the pleasure of falling asleep next to her truly naked with the penis nestled up against her pointedly disinterested hand. It got kind of hard but sensed it was being ignored and let me sleep. Being jammed into the cabin left little privacy outside the inside of my sleeping bag, but I was able to whip it out and jack off on the highway a few times. Of course, not to completion.

Yesterday morning, she left out the Looker 02 for me to put on after I got back from the trainer. When she told me what the timing would be (after I worked out and she went to work), I was planning on getting some nice edging in before going back under the lock and key, but was surprised to find I forgot all about that and was back in the device before I had a chance to do anything. I wanted to play with the penis but apparently wanted back in a device more (or perhaps I’m just that well trained at this point). In any event, I put the L02 on after lubing the tube with nothing more than my own spit. The bulbous end got hung up at the opening before popping in and getting swallowed up by the penis. It’s been maybe ten days or so since I last had the tube shoved up there and it didn’t feel quite the same this time. Still very invasive and never far from mind, but every little motion wasn’t telegraphed through the sensitive walls of the urethra. I guess it’s been broken in like a shoe. Regardless, it’s surprising how quickly this kind of invasion has become just another standard part of my chastity.

In other news, I was able to sneak a try at the Fleshlight Flight masturbator before I left. Suffice it to say, if I had had this thing and the internet when I was 19, I never would have left the fucking house. I fear for the future of our species. I’m pretty sure young men’s biological motivations to hooking up with young females will be totally short-circuited by this wonder of space age materials. No, I didn’t come, but holyjesusfuckingchrist, did I get close. Lots of leakage which I let dribble into the squishy sleeve. After regaining my composure, I’d fuck it again all sloppy and lubed up with my own warm semen and that shit just about made my head explode (both of them). I’m not saying it’s better than Belle, but if I didn’t know, it’d be good enough that I’m not sure I’d be all that motivated to find out what a real girl was like. Which leads me to worrying about our reproductive future. In any event, if you’re the kind of boy who get’s to masturbate and come and all that, you should check this shit out.

In a week, the whole famn damliy head off for a theme park vacation. I can’t be locked up for travel, of course, but it’ll be really weird if she lets me stay out for five full days. The Happiest Place on Earth would be just a little happier if at least one penis in it was trapped in a steel cage.

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Flashback

Remember that time when you first started seeing your significant other? When you’d want to put every little bit of them in your mouth and thought the taste of their spit was the best thing ever and that they smelled like magical unicorn butterflies (work with me here)? And when you fucked them all you could hear in the back of your head was, “DEEPER!!” and you’d be all like, “I’m in as deep as I can be!” and that voice would say, “Oh hell, let me,” and you’d try to grind yourself past the point of absolute total insertion and dangerously close to pelvic trauma? As if you could, if you just pressed hard enough, actually fuck yourself inside of them. And every other word out of your mouth was telling them how much you loved them because, truly, you did and couldn’t stop saying it?

Yeah, that was me on Sunday. Belle let me get her off and then I begged to be let out so I could take a ride. She thought about it for longer than I thought she would and would have been OK for different reasons with either answer, but she eventually said yes. The key came out and the Looker 02 slid off and out and, despite the impatient boner, I got the ring off. Then I was Mr. First Paragraph man.

No, I never came. Of course I didn’t. But it was great. So great. She told me she wanted me to put on the Steelheart, so that’s where I am now. Not much else to report, really. Being in the Steelheart is like being in the house you grew up in. A little tight, but homey and comforting. I’m away from Belle starting tomorrow until next Monday night. Not sure what she’ll expect my state to be whilst away. Probably find out later tonight.

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Hello there

How long has it been since I last posted!? Shameful.

Well, I can only hope to catch you up the way you do a friend who’s decided to start watching Lost with you when the seventh episode comes on: bullet points (usually delivered over the opening credits, but I have more time).

  • Why haven’t I blogged? Frankly, I was depressed. Nothing to do with Belle or sex or anything like that (though the hormone roller coaster may have played a supporting role), just stuff. One of those times when the various circles in your life’s Venn diagram all come together in random suckiness. A harmonic resonance of shit, so to speak. But I feel like I’m coming out of it. For example, I’m back on the horndog wagon. Feeling pretty frisky. That’s always going to help the brain chemistry.
  • Have I had an orgasm since we last met? Nope. Almost three months now. Keep reading.
  • A little while back, I mentioned I was hoping Belle would use a newish hitty thing on my ass and she did but I didn’t like it all that much. Having never been struck by a cane, I wasn’t sure how it would work out. Apparently, I’m more of a flogger boy. Or a wide-backed wooden hair brush boy (which is what she turned on me when the cane fell through).
  • Belle fucked me again and, like last time, I was able to hold off so she could come. I got really close, but sent the orgasm off the rails by thinking of politics. Not as fun as baseball, but remarkably effective.
  • Belle also let me have a week out of lock-up (in the Steelheart Short), but I’m back in now (JB2). The first night out, I edged myself for about an hour while reading naughty stories and, while I didn’t come, I got very close and leaked quite a bit. The thing that got me to stop was a kind of weird free-flowing of ejaculate that just poured out of the penis. It didn’t shoot out and it didn’t feel anything at all like an orgasm, but a huge quantity of the stuff just kept coming out. The bedroom reeked of it (funny how when you only smell feminine sex how pungent male sex smells). Anyway, I freaked out because I was afraid Belle would wake up and think I cheated, so I licked up all I could and went in the bathroom to clean the rest off. It was all over my stomach, down into my bellybutton, coated over my nuts, and all down one leg and still dripping. Guess I had some build-up I needed to get rid of.
  • As counterintuitive as it may seem for a guy who a) sports a penis that’s almost always locked in steel, and b) isn’t allowed to come even when it’s not, I decided to purchase a fancy new Fleshlight. I know I can’t use it very often but I’ve always really, really wanted to try one and I got a coupon code in the email so pulled the trigger. All I’ve been able to do thus far is stuck my finger in there and holy shit does it feel good. NO IDEA when I’ll be able to poke it as intended by the manufacturer, but I’m looking forward to the chance. Now that I’ve written this, it may never happen (Belle didn’t know I got it until she read this).
  • My birthday was between now and my last post. I told Belle all I wanted was something that wouldn’t cost her any money, and she (bless her) thought I meant I wanted to come. Au contraire. I wanted not to. The present I wanted was the absence of a thing which is kinda deep if you think about it. Anyway, she agreed to give me what I didn’t want (or whatever, this is getting confusing) and now I won’t come until January. That’s essentially six months, assuming I don’t blow my load on New Year’s (or accidentally some time in between). I know that Belle likes it when I come so I appreciate the present.
  • The upshot of that is that after I got her off on Sunday, she let me fuck her and damn but didn’t I want to come? It was kinda cool knowing I couldn’t because of the aforementioned birthday present and that lifted the often-encountered “man, I really want to but I hope she won’t let me” conflict. Even better was telling her how badly I wanted it and hearing her say of course not, silly rabbit.

I think that’s it for now. Nice to be back.

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Standard equipment

I was looking for something to blog about (it’s been kinda slow around here lately) and reader Lily happily obliged:

Hey, Thumper: I’ve become a fan of Thumper’s Portfolio, where you post pictures of both men and women. I was flipping through my newsreader today and a question occurred to me: do you think your interest in chastity is gender-specific? That is, if you were in a primary relationship with a guy, would you want him to enforce chastity on you? Or is that something that’s only erotically salient for you when your primary partner is a woman?

First, a note about the Portfolio. The other day, it crossed over the 1,000-follower mark (on Tumblr, if you have an account, you can follow a blog and get its posts mixed in with the posts of other Tumblrs you like). Relative to some of the porny Tumblrs I follow (or even the kind of traffic this site gets), that’s not very much, but my Tumblr is a bit hard for the average person to get into. Usually, the really popular ones are all one gender or one specific fetish/kink (like femdom or something). Mine’s a mix of whatever turns me on and fits into my aesthetic du jour. So anyway, to find 1,000 people who want to see (or will put up with seeing) sexy ladyparts and hard throbbing cocks and dudes getting face-sat and heavy bondage scenes and iPhone selfpics and animated gifs of some dude eating another’s ass but not images of men shooting orgasms or any image that make women look degraded or too obviously objectified (since guys coming and women being “used” are my two hard lines), is pretty amazing. I guess. I have no idea how many people visit the thing without following it on Tumblr.

But anyway…

Yes, Lily, if I were in a primary relationship with a guy, I’d want the same things I get with Belle. As I’ve said here before, guy-on-guy chastity turns my crank hard. It’s not that I’d rather be with a guy or anything like that (please, I’ve been though all that bisexual bullshit already). I think the reason I like it so much is a) it’s not what I live with every day and the exotic is exciting, and b) there’s something about one guy getting to do exactly what the other guy isn’t allowed to do. One guy having done to him what he cannot do in return. It puts a whole new spin on the dynamic.

Also, I want to be dominated. I’m a sub. Regardless of the gender of my partner, that’s what I want to feel. And the slow burn of denial euphoria would still be a potent drug. Those things are basic to me.

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New rule

From this point forward, I am never again to refer to the chastity devices Belle puts on my body as anything other than Belle’s property. I have become too possessive of them and have lost sight that they, like that which they contain, are and should be Belle’s.

Further, when they aren’t locked onto the penis, Belle will have possession of them. She will decide when and for how long each is used on me. I will hand over to her any devices not currently in use.

That is all.

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The first rule of Fight Club

The other week when the kids were at camp and Belle and I were alone, she offered me a night of whatever I wanted. All I had to do was tell her what that was.

Of course, I couldn’t. I couldn’t say what I wanted because, kinda like Santa Claus, once I said the truth the magic was gone. This is, obviously, very unfair to Belle. And counter-intuative. But it’s how I work. If I said, “do this and that,” then I would have a hard time accepting those things from her.

What I wanted was something like that one night we spent in a hotel last year. Major hot mostly because I didn’t really know what was happening at any given moment. It was all spontaneous on Belle’s part and it was fantastic. But, assuming she can’t pull a rabbit out of its funk every time, how are we to proceed? When the rare free night presents itself, how can we be sure to take whatever advantage Belle’s willing to let us have? Part of me thinks she should grok where I’m coming from since my kinks are well known to her now and we’ve had some practice at this stuff. Part of me also thinks we shouldn’t have to wait for special events to be able to indulge in a little quality time. But part of me also understands that none of this comes naturally to Belle.

Her idea was for me to write here what I wanted her to do. I can speak here more freely and more completely. I was supposed to do this a while back since this week is the last kid-free one we’ll have for a while, but I didn’t get around to it for whatever reason. Usually, when I know I have something to write for the blog, I’m anxious to write it, but this time I sat on it. And it, in turn, caused me to stop writing here almost altogether. I think my reticence is all tied up in the sub’s paradox of not wanting to be proscriptive but also needing to communicate their needs. I have needs, but relating them is hard. But let’s give it a shot.

In general terms, what I want it to lose control. To be tied up with my hands over my head and my feet to the footboard. To have the device taken off and the penis stroked until I can’t stand it anymore. And to be brought back to that place over and over. Until my high-level brain loses its ability to rationalize my desire not to orgasm and I truly need to come. Until I beg for it. And then, of course, I want her to not let me. To ice the penis into submission and lock it back up without ever letting me touch it.

Then I want to be hurt. Not too much, at first, but eventually quite a bit. I want angry red marks standing up from my skin. I want her to beat me and whip me and flog me and clamp my nipples and punch me in the nuts. We have a cane we’ve never used. I can imagine her gently hitting my ass and upper thighs with it before building ever so slowly to savage whipping that sends me falling deep into endorphin-fueled subspace. Where I stop pulling away and fearing each new fall of the cane and start to lean into them and crave them and feel the pain’s warm wave wash over me. I want her to build up a sweat from the effort of beating me. And I want to feel the sting of it every time I sit down for the next three days.

That’s what I want. And that’s what I can’t say. Because talking about the bubble makes it pop. Because this particular part of our relationship is a bit of theater. I need to buy the fiction that she hurts me because she values my suffering. Because she wants me to. I need to feel as though I’m giving her my pain in a reciprocal exchange. But I know she’s not a sadist. She doesn’t really like to hurt me. But she is a spouse willing to try to give me what I need. Unfortunately, it’s all so complicated.