Central Standard Penis Time

When you’ve got a 5 5/8″ long penis stuffed into a 2 3/4″ long tube, you will typically find yourself waking up at some point early in the morning when the penile tumescence kicks in. “Penile tumescence” is, for those who don’t know, a fancy way of saying “morning wood”. Unless you’ve got something wrong with the plumbing down there, it’s inevitable.

For me, the Steelheart Short is like a stainless steel alarm clock nestled between my legs. After wearing it for weeks, I will sometimes only wake slightly from it, but I will always wake up at least a little. That didn’t happen as reliably with the first Steelheart, but its tube was much bigger and its A-ring was 5mm larger.

Yeah, so anyway, every stinking morning, weekend or weekday, at some point give or take 15 minutes from 5:30 AM, the magical tumescence reaches its zenith and my eyes open. Every. Day. Except for this morning. Today, being essentially the first real morning of Standard Time, the penis woke me up at 4:40. In the morning.

Apparently, my circadian rhythm hasn’t fallen back yet.

10 thoughts on “Central Standard Penis Time

  1. Cute. Somehow. Cute.

    And intriguing. The penis wakes up at the same time even though your sleeping schedule might change. (*Writing up the mysteries of The Life of Penis.*)

    1. Yeah, I know! That’s why I wrote about it. I always assumed the tumescence happened n hours after I fell asleep or x before I woke up or something, but instead it seems to happen on its own schedule regardless of those things. Had it not been compressed in the device, I never would have know this. Of course, had it not been compressed in the device, it really wouldn’t matter.

      4:09 this morning, BTW. Showing no signs of going back to 5:30.

  2. There’s some evidence that we move in and out of various sleep stages in 90 minute cycles, so unless you go to sleep at exactly the same time every night, when you get that early morning arousal will vary somewhat.

    If you want to reset your body clock, try doing an all-nighter and then go to bed at normal clock time.

    1. I didn’t know that 90 minute thing. Interesting, except I’ve been going to sleep at about the same time (between 10:00 and 11:00) for a while now. I’ll occasionally stay up longer, depending on how horny I am.

      1. Was just about to add that there’ve been some mentions of “updating” the “portfolio” late at night. Probably not many people (women?) would be interested about the clockwork penis, but I sure am!

Say your piece

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s