Oh gosh, look at the time. Quarter to two and I’m up and doing this instead of sleeping. This is, I think, the evil denial insomnia rearing its head again. They say one tactic in helping to defeat sleeplessness is to get out of bed, so here I am. Maybe when I’m done writing to you, I’ll get at least a few hours before it’s time to hit the gym in the morning.

So Belle told me on Christmas Day, after a small amount of prodding on my part, that she’s going to have me orgasm on January 6. That will be almost exactly six months from the last time it happened. As I’ve said in the past, I was hoping she’d make me hold out for longer (perhaps indefinitely) but no. Sunday, January 6, 2013. That’s my day.

I spent the next day thinking on that. A bit of apprehension settled over me. Not so much because of the orgasm itself. I know from experience that just one isn’t quite enough to knock me totally out of the zone. I’ll likely experience a day or so of absence from want before I’ll really want a second. That’s what the apprehension was about. If I come twice in short succession, I’ll well and truly be all the way back to zero on the craving scale. I really, really don’t want to feel that way. Since July, I’ve had nothing to worry about except an accidental orgasm. I knew Belle wasn’t going to let it happen, period, so my entire mental approach to the possibility was different. Unless one slipped though under the wire (as it almost did the other day), I didn’t have to dwell on the possibility.

And before July, I would dwell. There was never any knowing when she’d tell me to go so it felt like I was always living under the constant threat of it happening. Yes, that’s me. The guy who doesn’t want to come. The six month schedule was a comfort to me. But now that is coming to an end. I’ll shoot one on the morning of January 6 and then…what? Back to every few weeks or months? I know, I know, I know. It’s not my call. But still, I personally much prefer the long and certain wait. I also think the absence of my orgasm has helped level out some of the hills and valleys we experienced in our D/s overlay before.

Tonight, just before she went to sleep, Belle stroked my balls and fingered the A-ring on the L02. She got me pretty worked up (hence, perhaps, this early morning missive). Just this simple touching was fantastic. When she was done, I even dribbled a little precum on her hand as I snuggled up next to her. She thought it was funny, I thought it was a little embarrassing.

Anyway, before she was done, we talked a bit more about January 6. She told me that after that one, that perhaps my orgasms would become more of an annual affair. In fact, the idea she toyed with (and seemed to like) was placing some “random 2014 dates” in a hat picking one to be the date of my next release. Which, means, of course, after the six month experiment she’ll be denying me for at least a year. Possibly much longer.

Of course, hearing that made the struggling penis struggle all that much harder. I love this idea. And I love my Belle Fille. She makes me very happy. I only hope I make her just as happy in return.

12 thoughts on “01-06-13

  1. Glad I’m not the only one whose sleep is totally upside down! Awake until 4 am this morning myself, and slept till 1230!! What a waste of a day.
    I only have an online keyholder [and I don’t mean ‘only’ disrespectfully to him] but recently he is being forced to make an important decision regarding my chastity, and wondering on which outcome he will finally decide is certainly taking all my thoughts these days.
    Good luck for the 6th, picking a date for your Next orgasm after that, which maybe as long as more than 23 months later, must be awesome!

    1. I wish I could have slept in. Half my issues were from freaking out that I knew I have to get up at 6:00 and go to the gym.

      Yeah, depending on how she picks the “random dates” in 2014, it could be a very long time indeed.

  2. Hi Thumper we have played with chastity and denial I wear CB6000 when locked up.
    Do you and Belle plan anything special for this orgasm? Any special build up? Will it be during full intercourse or a hand job/ blow job? Will it be a full orgasm or ruined? Lots of questions but when something this rare happens it is worth marking it in some way. I wish you both a happy new year and fingers crossed you get what you want Sunday.

    1. *I* don’t plan anything. She’s calling the shots (pun intended). I suspect it will be during intercourse and not a hand-job. On those rare occasions when Belle lets me come, it’s almost always inside her. I think the intention is to let me have the full meal deal – not ruined.

  3. Despite being a female in chastity/denial I also have the “crash” and lack of desire after I orgasm. I seriously struggle for up to two weeks after orgasming. How do you regain the headspace?

    1. It’s like a rain barrel filling one drop at a time. Eventually, the hormones trickle back up to critical mass. Like I said, though, one doesn’t seem to be enough to fully empty the barrel out, so my hope is to only have the one.

      1. Oh god I wish. I must have the world’s biggest rain barrel. One O is enough for me to totally empty and start from scratch. The fear of getting release now is scary because I like who I am better when I’m in denial.

      2. I don’t know, but I think it’s got to be a gender thing. As a guy, I’m always being fed a slow drip of hormones and I think that’s almost entirely what drives my desire for sex. Women, of course, also have hormones, but they also have a hormonal cycle at work and, it seems to me and every other hetero man, another mysterious mechanism that makes up their sex drives. Women, in general, seem to be much more mental when it comes to sex. In fact, denial makes me much more mental about it, too, which, in a way, makes me appreciate a woman’s POV more.

        But I digress.

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