Tag: chastity

Posted on

The best chastity underwear

Note: I’ve since published an updated and expanded list of recommendations with lots more pictures of yours truly in his skivvies. 

Underwear can be tricky. Some guys wearing trapped ball devices eschew it entirely, though I find that leaving the device totally unsupported will eventually cause sore spots, especially in a heavier steel device like the Steelheart. For the rest of us, picking the right pair is a balance between stealth and comfort.

The stealthiest underwear compresses everything down and as flat to the body as possible (think about any pair of tighty whities you’ve ever worn – something like this). Necessary for certain situations and for short periods, but life’s too short to come home every day with aching wobbly bits. I’ve found that the most comfortable underwear type is something like the N2N G-string. I have several pairs of these and they provide the bare minimum of support necessary to ensure the weight of the device isn’t being fully borne by genitalia. On the other hand, their generous pouch and stretchy strings do almost nothing to hide the tube. It’s almost like going commando, so I typically reserve their use for when I’m wearing baggier pants (or feel like putting on a show).

After much trial and error, I’ve found what I think is the best balance for those wearing a device like mine. They’re the line of “natural pouch” briefs by John Sievers. They provide a modest amount of stealth while not squashing anything. After the jump, you’ll find some NSFW images and more info.

Continue reading “The best chastity underwear”

Posted on

Bill’s query

From a reader named Bill:

I enjoy your blog and have been reading for a couple  years now.  Thanks for your insights.  My wife and I have been playing at this for the past two years and she surprised me this year by saying she wants me in a device pretty much full time for a month or two at a time.

I have a Jailbird from Mature Metal.  I’m not pierced and am skiddish about doing so.  However, the thought of being absolutely unable to get out is driving me more toward getting one.

I’ve seen some urethral inserts on some devices that would seem to also do the job of preventing pullout.  My question –  you have any experience with these and can they be worn pretty much full time?  If you don’t, do you know of a site that has reviewed these devices?

First of all, good for you and your wife! Many women seem to end up where your wife is now.

Inescapability is a heady concept. It’s one thing to be in your device because you’re being good and are choosing not to defeat it but something else entirely to know you can’t get out no matter how badly you want to. Some guys don’t need it or are too squicked out by the steps they need to take to ensure it, but others (like me) kink on it so hard they’re willing to do what’s necessary.

Of course, I don’t (yet) have experience with devices that are secured via urethral tubes. There’s much controversy about them on the forums and sites I’ve visited with some saying it’s an invitation to a urinary infection (though I can’t recall reading that anyone actually came down with one due to a device equipped with a tube). The bigger issue seems to be that some men lack the natural oils necessary to keep the tube in a state where the surrounding meat can move freely as the penis expands and contracts. I have read reports of the urethra “drying out” for some guys and sticking to the insert causing discomfort and even bleeding. This is not a universal complaint, though. There are also reports by guys with no issues whatsoever. Problem is, devices of this kind are among the most expensive and there’s only one way to find out what kind of guy you are.

Based on my experience with PA jewelry, I suspect I may have a “dry” urethra. I find that the larger rings occasionally will stick and stop moving freely so I assume an insert would do the same. It’s the main reason I haven’t tried that kind of device (when, on balance, it’s a fantastically expensive experiment).

PA security is not without issues either. There’s the occasional pinching and it takes up room in the tube (both the ring and whatever it’s secured with). But, if you’re asking for my advice, I’d get poked. The event itself is way, way less harrowing than you’re imagining (over in a jiffy and it heals relatively quickly). Once it’s done and healed up, it is, based on my experience, the best way to totally secure your meat inside a device.

Posted on

Yeah, but what about the sex?

“You might get into the voting booth, but you won’t be casting a ballot.”

That’s what my Belle Fille said to me this morning as I suckled her breast and fingered her snatch. She had let me out Friday night so the penis was perky and expectational.

But I jump ahead. It occurs to me that I haven’t posted much about our sex life recently, so I’m going to play catch up now.

About midway through January, Belle let me come. I had just been let out for “cleaning and maintenance” and she was going to tease me with a hand job. The hand job started and I was rapidly taken to the edge and she just never stopped. It wasn’t an accident. She wanted me to come. Then she wanted me to put the Steelheart back on. I wasn’t even out for half the day, but I did get cleaned out.

The next weekend, she treated me to two of her orgasms, one brought about with my fingers and the other with my mouth. Both left me hot and bothered since the one orgasm didn’t lessen my desire too much. If anything, it left it somewhat sharper.

Then she got sick. Stomach thing. Not fun. But I whined on Friday and she, in her weakened condition, let me out. Two uninterrupted nights of sleeping followed by a lazy Sunday morning adventure in bed.

So, as I was saying, I was fingering her and sucking her tits and generally enjoying her body and the penis was very pert and attentive beside her. After she came, she invited me in for the first time this year and I leapt at the opportunity. I had the heavy barbell in the PA and could feel it move  and turn in the piercing as the end of the penis came almost all the way out and then as deep as it could back in. I fucked her not like the frustrated lizard I used to be, but like the tamed bunny I am. Gently and gratefully. Enjoying the exquisite sensations of the folds of her pussy caressing the penis shaft, but not forgetting that this was a gift from her to me. It’s different when I know I can come. Then the lizard takes over. But this was not that. So I kissed her mouth and cradled her head and fucked her like I could break her if I got too carried away.

“That’s it, Thumper. Time to come out.” How long had that been? No idea. God, I wanted to come. Fuck, I wanted to stay inside her.

I thanked her and embraced her and flexed the denied penis one more time while it was still surrounded by her. Then I withdrew and fell back beside her. The penis, still thick with desire and slick from her juices, slapped wetly agains my leg. I gripped it. Squeezed it. Pushed my baser instincts back into their cave.

“I want you back in by the end of the day.”

And so I am.

Posted on

Mike’s tip

A note from a reader:

i saw your steelheart blog and decided to get one. Got it last week and love it. But i have had it one for two days now and i seem to hur just a bit near head of penis and pa ring, did this happen too you. If so did it go away after a few days. i really want to keep it on and dont want my partner to take it off for a while so please let me know what you think. i found you on facebook and sent you a message there also. i just sent my email to follow your blogs. Enjoy reading them. Thanks, mike

Is it like a rubbed raw kind of thing? That can happen from time to time. The last time I had that problem it was because I was wearing the larger of the two A-rings we have which caused the tube to sit a little lower and rub a part of the penis it usually didn’t.

You need to take to a new device slowly. I know how much you want to keep it on right now, but you also need to listen to your body and let it adjust. Ignoring those signals will cause you more pain and a longer time out to recuperate. My advice: Take it off for a day or two until the part that hurts stops hurting, then put it back on. Eventually, your dick will accept its fate.

Posted on

Viewer mail

I know, you’re not really viewers, you’re actually readers. Whatever.

Ive been reading your blog on and off again for a couple years now.  Great reading.

A question for the steelheart: does your pa ever get caught between the tube and the retaining bar?

I’ve owned a cb3k and switched to the 6k a while back. I have the security cable from keptforher and when I used as instructed, it caused some bleeding from my pa not being able to move when flaccidity set in. So I thought, put the cable in the inside. Works okay, but as the ring rides the cable down and I get hard again, sometimes it will catch around mid tube and as I keep growing it can be painful. Lately I’ve just been putting on more lube and it works.

I’ve had my eye on the steelheart when i read about it on your blog. Wife loves the look of it. Just haven’t taken the leap to buying one. Don’t want the back and forth to Germany if something goes wrong.

Thanks for the blog. Insightful.

Short answer, yes, there is occasional pinching. Since I can’t see what’s going on in there, my guess is that some portion of foreskin remnant and/or the little strip of meat between the PA and penis slit get’s trapped between the bar and the tube wall. This is most annoying in the early AM hours since it’s all too compressed to do anything about, but when the internals are depressurized, usually all it takes is a pull and a twist (in one direction or the other) to sort things out.

My experience with cables is much the same as yours, though I never bled. I also experimented extensively with different types of cables and varying lengths and even putting it inside, but it was never good. I think the biggest diference between the cable inside a CB6K and the bar inside the Steelheart is that there’s just more room in the Steelheart tube. It’s cylindrical rather than oval and things can move around in it more easily. As you’ve found, the ability for it to move along the fixing and not be stuck at the end of the tube is critical.

The going back to Germany thing is a pain, but the end result is really worth is. You may want to consider Mature Metal if you’re concerned about the back and forth, though they don’t have a model equivalent to the Steelheart. Which is a nice segue to the next question…

I’ve been following your blog for some time, and am using the CB3000. I do feel like swapping out to the steelheart like yourself.

Should I base the dimensions on my CB3000 fit? I’m not sure if I make it too small, and when my buddy turns super horny?

Can you give me some suggestions?

If you haven’t already read Steelheart vs. CB-6000, you should. There’s all kinds of stuff in there for people in your position.

I ordered my original SH according to my CB6K fitting and it turned out way too big. Both the A-ring and the tube. I eventually got a smaller ring that would have been nearly impossible to wear had it been multipart plastic. I can’t explain this definitively, but I suspect that the combination of how the steel interacts with skin (less grippy) and the less severe shape (not squared off) make the SH ring significantly more comfortable (the same would be true for any steel device, not just the SH).

For me, the difference was 5mm in the A-ring. I wore the 45mm combination in the CB6K and have a 40mm ring on the SH. I think you could easily knock 3mm off from your plastic fitting. With regard to the tube, it’s not so easy. That’s a more customized thing. I think the best measuring advice I’ve seen is on the Mature Metal site. Remember that a tube which allows for less growth of your erection is, in my experience and as illogical as this sounds, more comfortable.

Princess Annie (whose blog you should check out), asked in an email:

Thumper, this is one of my central questions. How do I know if my boy, my pet, has ejaculated without me? He could lie – you could’ve lied. I can act like I will know… but I wouldn’t really. hmmmm…

Tricky. My answer is, if he’s a good actor, you can’t know. Absent a secure device, there’s just no telling. You have to trust him and he has to commit to accepting the control he’s presumably give to you. There are times when he’ll be weak and will succumb to temptation. We’ve all been there. If and when those times happen, he will need to be honest with you and admit them as soon as possible. If he doesn’t, then he’s not a good fit for that kind of relationship.

Practically, you need to be a keen observer of his personality. What is he like when you know he’s been chaste? What is he like after you let him come? That kind of thing. Other than that, I’m afraid I don’t have much for you.

This one was submitted via The Portfolio:

Hey Thumper. I always enjoy your Portfolio and I have wondered about the mix /selection of pictures as it relates to your chastity lifestyle. Do you know the ratio of heterosexual images vs. homo erotic images? Do you find that you post more homo erotic images the longer you are locked up? Or do you find that the less attention that Belle is able to give you the more you fantasize about guys and pegging and the like. – Just Curious

Regarding the mix of hetero vs. homo imagery I post from day to day, to be honest, it really depends on what I find on my dashboard in the morning. I follow 366 372 different Tumblrs of all kinds and some days the mix is heavier on the boobs and beavers and some days it’s more cocks and hanging nutsacks. I try to keep things mixed up, but I only have so much time in the day to look at porn (alas). I don’t know the exact ratio, though it’s probably slightly more gay than straight. For whatever reason, gay porn has always been more stimulating to me than straight so I’m sure it gets favored over time. However, with the addition of the Pit Stop, I’ve found some male images going there rather than on The Portfolio (meaning the female ratio should be going up).

Regarding how my chastity affects what I post, I know it does, but I’m not sure I can tell you how exactly. I post more the hornier I am. I think I usually post more graphic images when I’m really in the soup than at other times when I might favor more arty compositions. I think I end up feeling more crude and base. I’ve written before that being locked up makes me more fascinated with pictures of cocks. I get kind of entranced by images of guys jacking off and I’ll watch a whole video only to see the shooting at the end (though I try to never post an image of a guy coming on The Portfolio). I always vacillate in the middle of the Kinsey scale, so I don’t know how I feel is different or the same as other guys, though anecdotally, it seems as though chastity and long term denial can make nominally heterosexual men more interested in images of other men (which supports my contention that all people are, if only a little, bisexual).

Posted on

Compression

Dutchbound said:

Hey Thumper – I’m very excited to hear that you got a trainer and look forward to reading more. Now, we can look forward to, and benefit from, Thumper-analysis (Thump-alysis??) of what it is like to not only workout frequently while locked but also how to manage the bulge in workout gear in a public setting. I’ve been working hard to manage those logistics myself.

I start the routine tomorrow so I can’t yet speak more than I already have to that, but I can add some insight into the “bulge management” situation.

Part of me want to say fuck it and bulge naturally, but perhaps a modicum of discretion is required. This morning, I was stretching in the workout pants I’ll be wearing while training with a “fashion” jock on underneath. I say fashion because it was sold though one of those underwear sites that has all the buff dudes modeling them and is as much a soft-core porn experience as it is for shopping. This particular pair I like because they have a generous pouch (to give that “no underwear” look) that’s not too constricting. They are definitely not concealment wear.

Anyway, during the leg stretching, the jutting steel bullnose was amply visible. While wearing my usual best concealment underwear when with the trainer was an option, they’re all high and tight cotton briefs and didn’t seem right to get all sweaty in. Therefore, a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods was in order (yeah, I know).

What I settled on was a couple pair of Under Armour compression shorts. Note that there’s a couple different styles of these, if you’re thinking of getting them. One style — the kind I got — is made of the same super-stretchy material throughout while the other has a more breathable (and less compressing) crotch panel. Those didn’t seem to do a thing to help conceal. The more concealing style, as you can see, isn’t exactly the sexiest things you’re ever going to find me in, but that’s not what I got them for.

Once home, put them to the test. I put them on along with my workout pants and went through the stretching motions. I found that the visible bulge of the Steelheart was reduced by about 50%. There’s still a little bump there that’s not entirely natural looking, but it’s far less noticeable than it had been earlier in the day. The proof will be how they are to work out in. They push the whole package down and that puts extra pressure against the otherwise abused and disrespected nutsack, but it’s hard to know if it’ll prove to be too much. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

Posted on

A different kind of training

Every muscle in my body aches. Even ones I forgot I had. Even ones I didn’t know I had. Maybe even some I don’t have.

I’ve decided to start seeing a personal trainer since, over the past couple years, I’ve allowed myself to get to a point physically that I’m just not very happy about. I’ve also noticed, now that I’m solidly into my forty-fifth year, that things don’t work as well as they used to. I’ve lost strength, stamina, and flexibility and I’m just feeling old. I’m too young to feel old. And yes, while it is January and all kinds of bullshit resolutions are made at this time of year, I can say that had little to do with the timing of this decision. I’ve been thinking about it for some time and simply finally got around to it.

So I met with the guy Friday morning. He’s the proprietor of a small gym near our house and our first meeting was so he could evaluate my sorry condition. The guy is massive. Not big like a muscle bound linebacker, but proportionally huge. As if he’s been genetically manufactured to be a new kind of superhuman. He’s a former basketball player and has got to be at least 6’10” tall. Being from West Africa, his skin is very dark. He’s bald and has arms as big around as my thighs. Practically. Either way, he’s an intimidating specimen. Being six feet tall myself, I’m unaccustomed to being around people significantly taller than me, let alone guys I need to crane my head up to look at.

Of course, it’s like he walked straight out of some cuckolding wank story. I admit that the question of his endowment was often in my mind. But that’s me. A pervert.

Anyway, this was just a short evaluation session, but it still kicked my ass. He had me doing lunges, squats, jumping jacks, leg presses, and this sit-up-catch-and-throw-a-ball exercise. All that after he told me I had the hamstring flexibility of a 300 pound guy. Nice. And yes, all this was done while locked up.

I was’t sure if I would need to be unlocked to work out with him so I didn’t ask Belle to let me out. The only time it may have been visible was when he had me flat on my back and was holding my leg straight up and pushing it forward in, I assume, an attempt to rip it from my body. I’m fairly certain a somewhat out of place bulge may have presented itself then and I may have even seen him glance at it, but honestly, the searing pain of the ordeal has clouded my memory. There were no issues after that, though, so I’ve decided to continue on without special access to the penis and see how it goes. Besides it becoming visible, I don’t think there will be a practical reason to remove it. It won’t get in the way of any exercising I can think of and wasn’t at all uncomfortable during or after. Asking for access to the key would be all about vanity and that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to me. I’ve decided that being locked up is who I am and how I live so I won’t let something like an occasional unusual bulge change that.

While this is a sex blog, not a workout blog, I have to imagine that as this new endeavor unfolds I will bring it up often. I will be seeing the trainer (either the massive black guy or his more reasonably-sized assistant who just happens to share my first name) three times a week. The device may or may not become an issue, so that would be a germaine DT topic. Plus, as I get into better shape, my body image may return to a point where I would feel comfortable sharing HNTs of something other than the penis and its steel tube.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Between now and then, it’ll just be nice to have a place to whine and/or talk about how I’m less of a giant white lump than I used to be.

Posted on

Control

First off, happy new year, everyone!

In response to yesterday’s post, Celtic Queen said:

It’s not so much the absence of orgasm that drives my hub but the control he has handed over and the randomness with which he is allowed to orgasm. He says he feels “lost” without the device, uncentred and unhappy and hates the feeling of his penis re exerting control over him.

Of course, it’s going to be somewhat different for everyone. I agree that the lack of control aspect is key. I don’t know that I could (or would necessarily want to) do this by myself. Belle is clearly the controlling partner when it comes to the penis and what I get to do with it and that’s pretty awesome. I suppose control and denial are not welded together and that either are valid dynamics alone or in combination with other aspects. Yesterday, I was only addressing the denial part since it’s the thing that’s been missing for the past month. Obviously, I’m happiest when they’re served together.

Speaking of which, I know there must be many men reading this blog who wish they were being controlled and denied by their partners (or, conversely, some women who wish they could talk their men into being denied and controlled). I think that limiting a man’s sexual release to only those times he’s with his partner (or has explicit permission by them to do it himself) is a really valid alternative to chastity as Belle and I do it. While I’d lose interest in the dynamic as soon as I came, it was only a matter of a few days or so before I was interested again and, therefore, interested in her. While I was still coming, I was still dependent on her for the pleasure. I think a guy who hasn’t been able to get his wife interested in control and denial would be well served by living as if he was anyway. That is, don’t come when you read the chastity porn. Reserve that for when you’re with her. For a woman in a similar situation, this kind of arrangement might be less intimidating for her guy.

Anyway, I also totally get CQ sub’s point about feeling lost without the device. I’ve written several times how I feel incomplete when I’m not wearing it. I haven’t worn it for like six weeks and I’m really ready for it to return. I suspect it’ll be tricky readjusting (and not just mentally), but I’ve missed it. I thought about asking for it yesterday, but she said Sunday so I didn’t.

What day is it again?

Posted on

Escape Proof

While drying off from my shower this morning, I decided to make the attached video to demonstrate how inescapable the Steelheart Short is with its continuous PA fixing in place.

As you can see, pull all you want, there’s no way out of this thing.

[wpvideo BHamNIKT]

For the overly geeky in the crowd, this video was produced entirely on an iPhone 4S using iMovie.

Posted on

Clarification

Celtic Queen, in response to my last post, left the following comment:

Thumper, this sounds like a trite question (it isn’t meant to be) but are you happier as a person now?

Put another way, did control of your sex make you unhappy?

Then Chaz added…

You state that your OK with it. I think those that say you are trained might offer congratulations, yet I get more a sense of resigned acceptance from this post. It almost has a BCWYWF feel to it. I would echo CQ’s comment. Are you happy? You say you have changed, I would like to ask is it change for the better? Are you a better husband lover friend father? “BROKEN” as a title I would take to mean your will, but could it refer to something that needs to be fixed?

As I started to formulate a reply, I realized I might need a little more room, so here we are.

Starting at the end and with the title “Broken,” that was just a play on words. I used the “broken horse” metaphor in the post to describe how I was feeling about my sexual urges and it was a reference to that. Also, as I alluded to in the post, “broken” might have been how I would have described those feelings at an earlier stage in our dynamic. I wasn’t trying to say I was broken or my sex drive was (hell no!) or we were or anything ominous like that.

With regard to resigned acceptance, I guess that’s not an inaccurate description. What other option do I have? I could rail against my confinement and the generally low level of sexual activity we’ve had lately, but to what end? To put extra pressure on her? To make her feel guilty? To suggest I want out of the device and from under the dynamic? I don’t want any of those things. Hell yes I want more sex, but the timing wasn’t right and no matter how horny or frothed up I get, there’s nothing I can do about it. So yes, resigned acceptance. Acceptance that being the object of long-term enforced chastity isn’t always a crazy pornfest type of existence. Sometimes, things don’t work out how you’d like them to. You might be able to characterize resigned acceptance as negative, but you might just as well call it a healthy frame of mind and more productive than moaning and pissing about my grievances.

With regard to the “be careful what you wish for” vibe, yeah, totally, I was going for that. I can remember how incredibly turned-on the idea of chastity made me even when I was actually in that kind of relationship. I can remember how surreally horny I used to get and hopped up on hormones I’d be. This, though, is perhaps what the long tail of chastity looks like. Once your body adjusts and the new device smell goes away, you have to figure out a way to live with it. Be careful because sometimes it’s not all that hot. Sometimes, it’s freaking boring.

Am I a better “husband lover friend father”? I would really have to let Belle answer that, but I think I am a better husband. I think I was already a pretty good lover, though now I’m not able to use the penis on her in the way I know she likes. I was already very attentive in bed. I’d say that’s a push. Better friend? No, we’ve always been good friends. Better father? I’m not sure any of this has impacted that aspect of my life much at all.

Now, am I happy? That’s a bit trickier.

CQ asked, “Did control of your sex make you unhappy?” In a way, yes, because control of my sex led me to cheat on Belle. But, larger than that, control over my sex also led me away from her as it was easier and more convenient to pleasure myself than to seek that pleasure from her. I’m not making that “masturbation addiction” argument as I think it’s crap, but had I been able to jack off at will over the past few weeks, I wouldn’t be at all drawn to Belle for my needs. And isn’t that pretty much the entire point of enforced chastity? To bring a couple together so they can enjoy sexual intimacy only with each other and not by themselves? That morning we finally had sex was fantastic even though I was fucking horny as hell and left literally dripping with desire afterward.

No, I won’t say control over my sex left me unhappy, but having her control my sex does make me happier more often than not. Nothing in this world in perfect. There are no silver bullets. Living as I do is the same. There are good days, there are bad days. There are fucking amazing days, there are god awful days. In balance, though, I am where I want to be.

So, as a coda to my previous post, I should say having that one sexual session has changed my attitude remarkably. I’m feeling much hornier and more connected to my desires than I was before. Even to the point that holding the device in my hand as I clean it makes me think so much about what it means to have it on that it fills up with chubby penis meat and I can’t flush water through it. I’ll find myself fingering the hard ring under my waistband and, again, the stupid penis will try its best to plump out.

I am denied. My sex is totally controlled. And I am so fucking turned on by that.