Further adventures at the gym

At the gym this morning, the trainer had me do tricep curls. That’s where you hold a bar connected to a cable connected to weight with both hands, keeping your forearms straight out from your waist and your elbows steady at your side and pull down to your thighs. I did it and heard…

KLANK

The bar hit the device. Lined up perfectly. Fuck. Rep number two. Be careful.

KLANK

Goddamn it! Number three.

clink

That’s better. After that, I figured out how to change my stance so my leg took the hit and not the tube. No idea if the trainer heard the noise or thought anything of it.

Later in the session, he had me doing a Superman. That’s where you lay on your stomach and pull your legs, arms and chest off the ground, holding them up and out. Like Superman flying. Anyway, new mats today. These are like thin memory foam. After the exercise, I stood up and saw a perfect impression of the Steelheart’s lock and tube pressed into the mat. Like a fucking picture. I stood on it for a few seconds, feigning a rest, until I figured my footprint had crushed the bas relief out of the foam.

It’s almost a given that, sooner or later, this dude’s going to bust me.

Reentry

Getting back into the swing of things now. It takes a bit of adjustment having Belle back. I’m not able to stay up all night abusing myself and looking at porn. I’m once again locked up beyond my control, not because I want to be that way but because she wants it. She did allow me to get her off on Saturday, but I’m wanting more. Last night was spent nuzzling into her, hard penis straining against the steel. I wanted her. In no particular way. Just wanted. Her breasts, her snatch, her everything. I wanted to feel the strain of my desire against the device and at the same time wanted to thrust it into her. I wanted to eat her and lick her and fuck her, but she said wanting rather than getting was good for me. She said she had no idea how long I was going to be locked up and she wouldn’t tell me even if she did.

She fell asleep stroking the hair in my armpit. I fell asleep somewhat later, still thrumming and happy to have her there with me.

I ran

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_Pq0xYr3L4]

During the month out of chastity, I took up running. I have an old knee injury (which we’ll say was incurred playing varsity football but actually happened when I tripped on a pothole in an ice cream parlor’s parking lot) and I always assumed that since exercise would often make it hurt (and I can still hear it click when I move the joint) it would keep me from being able to run, but the strength I’ve gained from the personal training seems to have made it possible for me to do more than just the elliptical machine. Even though I’m stronger than I used to be, my cardio isn’t what I’d like it to be and that’s what led me to running.

Yeah, so anyway, waaaay back in last month when I started this new routine I didn’t have a bunch of steel hanging off the tender vittles. If you’re familiar with running shorts, you’ll know that they’re kinda like a swimsuit in that they have an inner liner that offers a modicum of support so your nuts aren’t bungying off your vas deferens as you jog along, but it isn’t designed to support metal or to deal with the greater inertial forces generated by a steel tube getting punched hither and yon by the nut sack pushed up behind it. What would it be like? Would it hurt? Would I even be able to do it?

As a matter of fact, I could. I ran for two miles yesterday in my Nike shorts and my German steel and am no more worse for wear. I was aware of the steel flopping back and forth but it never caused me any discomfort (some of the hills pretty well kicked my ass, though). I could sometimes hear the clinking of the PA ring inside the tube, but it was’t too apparent (and besides, who’s going to hear it besides me?). Pretty sure the tube was fairly visible through the thin fabric of the shorts, especially as the breeze pressed the material to my body, but from what I could tell, it only appeared to be a fat cock bouncing around, not a kinky sex toy (which, by the way, is how it almost always appears through clothing). I could feel the sweat running down into the tube mostly because it seemed to be cooled by the steel so a slightly air-conditioned willy is a by product of running in a Steelheart. In the end, there doesn’t appear to have been any excessive chafing or other damage done. I did lube up pretty good before I left, though. Seemed the prudent thing to do.

So there you go. One more thing you can do in a chastity device.

Rising tide

Where were we? Oh, right. On a break.

It’s been one month since I wrote that. One month of not wearing a chastity device and one month of essentially coming when I want. Yes, the deal was that I wasn’t supposed to come without Belle, and it started well, but I failed there. Easy access to the penis and our hiatus in other action along with her distraction by work gave my reptile brain the momentum it needed to make me think for a second or two longer during masturbation. That’s all it takes.

“Wait!”

“What?”

SPURT

I have no idea how many times I came in that month. Not as often as I would have under “normal” circumstances, but perhaps more than I have in the previous six months combined. That is, until about ten days ago. I hadn’t come in a bit and was feeling pretty horny. Instead of acting on that desire, I let it sit and grow. Then Belle told me that as soon as she gets back from the long business trip she’s currently on, I was going back in. Break over. That made me want to try to start the break in the proper state of mind. So I haven’t come now for about a week and a half. Hardly any time at all, really, but I’m feeling it.

A few days ago, after Belle had left, I was alone in the house with time on my hands. A bad combination for those who haven’t come and are trying not to. I ended up on all fours abusing myself with Mr. Stryker and his lesser cousins, locking double cocking ring in place, chain between the nipple clamps swinging. Of course, cock ring or no, I had access to the penis and worked it hard. I put some of the numbing cream on before hand but not so much that I couldn’t feel a thing. In any event, I was well and truly fucked (literally) and super horny (as you can imagine). I didn’t come, but I jerked it raw and wanted more. A lot more. There was a tickle in the back of my brain saying the break was still on. There would be few chances to come. I should take advantage of it.

The thing is, though, while it’s really hard to keep my hands off of it when I’m this turned on, I knew how I’d feel after the orgasm. Belle’s warning me of the end of the break brought me back into line and while a very rudimentary part of my brain wanted the orgasm, everything higher up didn’t. That’s what orgasm denial does to men. It sets up an internal war over the penis and orgasm. Higher brain functions at battle with lower ones and constantly the need to feel one’s hard member in hand. The higher forces had regained the advantage, though. I put the device back on.

I know where the key is, of course. Belle doesn’t have it, I do. I’m purposefully denying myself what I could have because I honestly can’t trust myself. If I take it off, I may give myself an orgasm. An orgasm I don’t want but desperately need. The key is in my bathroom drawer. I saw it last night and I caught myself fingering it before I even thought to touch it. Maybe just a short jerk, I thought. I’d even leave the ring on. It’s not like I’d really be taking it off…right?

So that’s where I am. Aching balls and a tight early morning throbbing between my legs. Pretty much right where I want to be.

It’s a team sport

Friday night I was laying in bed flipping and flopping and trying to ignore the fact that I was working up to another sleepless night due to an overabundance of hormones. It’s been a hard few weeks since Belle and I had so much time apart, but also we’ve been in a period where she’s not been too interested in me or what I’m able to do for her (i.e., little or no sex). It was three o’clock in the morning and I was stewing.

Apparently, my tossing woke her up. When I realized this, I started to talk to her about it. I told her that the game we play is a team sport. It requires two to work. I can’t do it by myself. Also, our relationship is enhanced by the hardware that’s attached to the penis, not defined by it. If she didn’t feel interested in engaging, then we didn’t have to do it. Indeed, “setting and forgetting” has the opposite affect on me. I didn’t feel closer to her, I felt more distant. And while I wasn’t trying to guilt her out or sound angry, I could feel myself moving in that direction.

She told me to take it off. She also told me I could come. I was simultaneously sad and excited. I couldn’t really discuss the prospect of having an orgasm rationally. My hand was even shaking. She unlocked the lock and I disassembled the steel and jerked off next to her. When I came, it was a relief. I could feel the wave of sleep-inducing chemicals wash out of my brain. After wiping the goo from my body, I found sleep.

The next morning, she wanted to fool around. Surprisingly, I had it in me. I offered to let her come by riding the stiff penis, but she opted for the usual fingering. She said she’s been “trained” to want it that way. Funny. We’ve both been trained. After she came, I fucked her to completion. Two orgasms in less than six hours. The decadence.

We’re not on a total break. I’m not allowed to come without her, but I’m not sure if that means there’s any limit to how often I can come as long as she’s there. Even though I’d done it twice in the past day or so, I want it again. I’d be doing it right now except she’s not home. The device will be off for at least two weeks since we leave next Saturday for our Spring vacation.

In any event, things might get a little quiet around here for a while. I’ve got some HNT queued up for Thursday, but other than that, I’m not sure what else I’ll have to talk about.

Mailbag

New submissions from readers:

I was wondering you thoughts on Mature Metal’s Jailbird outfitted with one of the anti-pullout pins (maybe even a second base ring) vs. a Steelheart with the penisring (http://steelworxx.de/Penisring-51p.html).

I know without a PA piercing the inescapable trapped ball device doesn’t exist, but I want to get as close as possible. I have seen mixed reviews on MM’s anti-pullout pins but I’ve seen absolutely nothing about Steelworxx’s penisring. Frankly, I don’t see how the ring would stay on when flaccid but I’m still curious about it.

I am currently locked in a Birdlocked Mini, my first device, and am looking to purchase my next device… one of the above hopefully. Since you are coming from a place of experience I would love your take on the two devices described above.

Both those devices work by trying to bunch up the flaccid penis skin making pull out more difficult, not unlike the KSD-G3 for the CB6K. The KSD is the only thing I have first-hand experience with and it does make things a bit more secure down there (and feel more secure, which may be more important since security absent a piercing is mostly in one’s head), though, of course, a few seconds of fiddling in the shower can defeat all these kinds of devices. The downside to the KSD is that it would often leave abrasions on the shaft of the penis from when it would try to become hard in the CB6K and press against it with some force. I would assume MM’s anti-pull out pins would be even more likely to do something similar. Honestly, I never liked the look of them. They seem like they’d be quite painful (and not in the good way). The Steelworxx penis ring might be somewhat more gentle, but again, I’ve never used one. I considered it back in the day, but by the time I ordered I already had the PA and didn’t need it.

I wonder if one of these guys couldn’t fashion a KSD-like insert out of stainless? I know Dietmar at Steelworxx will try anything, but the cost might be prohibitive.

Here’s another question along similar lines…

I have been reading some (not all) entries of your blog and found them very informative. I myself am into chastity play with my wife. We only started very recently (last year) and my first device was a Looker 02 from Steelworxx with the penis-plug. The plug did extend quite a bit (around 1″) through the A-Ring, so this added a lot of security.

However for various reasons I needed to be circumcised. Now the scars are healing and me and my wife will get pierced. I will get a PA and she will get a vertical hood piercing.

Since the Looker with the penis-plug is not possible with a PA and we were intrigued by the added PA-security, we plan on getting a Steelheart (or Steelheart 2) with an internal PA-fixture (the one you designed).

I hope you don’t mind me asking you a few questions since it seems you actually own and wear just that type of device.

Basically it is about measuring. I am unsure about the length of the device. When measuring for the Looker I took the total flaccid length and subtracted half an inch. This worked quite well and the tip was comfortable at the front nearly all the times. For diameter I chose the flaccid diameter plus the Plug-diameter. However this turned out to be slightly on the loose side. It was no problem and it was comfortable but there was a little space around while flaccid.

Anyway, my questions are, how do you measure the length and diameter when you have a PA? Do you need to add a bit to the length and diameter to accommodate the PA?

How far do you think you can pull the device down while wearing it. Do you fear ppl. with shorter tools than yours would be able to access the PA?

Sorry for babbling at you and I hope it is not too much trouble to share your information. But you seem to be the only source I can find 🙂

When I measured for our second Steelheart I went much shorter on the tube but added a bit to my normal flaccid length since I needed to accommodate the PA ring and the fixing. In truth, I may have added too much. In my opinion, you probably shouldn’t make it shorter than your normal flaccid length. The circumference is trickier since you also want to leave room in there for the fixing which does take some of the space up. I find the penis will sometimes knock around inside the tube I wear, but it’s often. I don’t think I’d want it any tighter. You also need to think about pinching and such. I assume that less circumference would make that more prevalent.

So, short story, keep it just a bit longer than your flaccid length and just a tad bigger around. The other thing you need to think about is the gauge of the ring. My PA accommodates 4 GA jewelry, but if I wear a ring that big while in the device I get too much pinching at the end. If I scale back to 8 GA, things are a lot better.

Regarding how much I can pull out, I can get just to the edge of the penis’s corona, but that’s it (see for yourself). You don’t need to worry about getting tools down there. It’s impossible. Even if you could somehow get the ball out of the ring, you’d never ever get it back in and would eventually get busted. There’s not nearly enough room in there to maneuver. That said, I don’t think getting the ring out is even possible. That would be an advantage of using a thicker ring since the ball would be really hard to remove without tools. Hope that helps.

Question about your Looker 02. How long were you able to wear it at a stretch? Did the urethral tube ever cause you any problems?

Question, comment or general chit-chat? Use the feedback page!

Stoned

As if three colds weren’t enough. Last week, my daughter came down with some kind of nasty stomach flu which she passed to me 24 hours later. It was bad. I didn’t like it one bit. But, it wasn’t as bad as what came right on it’s heels.

I didn’t go to a doctor, but I’m fairly certain I had a kidney stone. I woke up Friday at about 3:30 AM with a sharp and intense pain in my side just under my ribcage. It got progressively worse until we called a nurse and she said to take some Tylenol and rest comfortably. If you’ve ever had one of these evil little things, you know “resting comfortably” is outside the realm of possibility, though I was able to minimize the pain by laying still and using a hot pad. By daylight, the pain was coming and going and changing positions (moving from my side towards the front of my abdomen). I was able to get up and help get the previously sick girl off to school only to be struck by the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my whole life as soon as she left. I broke out in a cold sweat and felt like I was going to throw up. Absolutely horrid.

Then it went away. Poof. Gone. Only minor and infrequent twinges remain (some of which I was still getting yesterday). The new symptom is occasional and overwhelming urges to pee. Even when I know there’s nothing there, I have the feeling of needing to go. It’s not unlike how the prostrate will sometimes feel when I’ve been denied a long time and I know it’s all plump and ready to go, but way stronger. This, along with the pain, are classic kidney stone symptoms.

The part I haven’t had yet is the actual passing of the stone. I don’t know if it always involves pain during urination, but I’ve had nothing like that. Yet. Time will tell if I get to have the full meal deal. I suppose at some point I should go to a doctor, but from everything I’ve read, they don’t do anything about them most of the time and let them work themselves out naturally. I can do that at home and save the co-pay.

On the non-medical front, Belle and I both felt good enough on Saturday morning for some real sex. I busted out my emergency key at the hight of the barfing because the device was really, really not making me feel any better being on there (and I was about three light years from wanting to do anything with the penis anyway), but life had returned to all corners of my totally free body by Saturday. She not only let me fuck her, she let me come. It wasn’t a great orgasm (as is common after a longish denial) and I came really fast (one minute, tops) and she made me put the device back on as soon as it was over. It wasn’t unit this morning that I didn’t resent the damned thing. That magical cloaking device I was talking about last time was stone cold dead and has only started to flicker into life since I woke up this morning. Starting to get horny again. Apparently, the cloak operates on pure hormones (not antimatter like on Star Trek).

So there you are. Up to speed. Hopefully, the infirmary-like atmosphere around the house is gone for a long time.

Three colds and a period

It’s been more than two weeks since Belle and I had any kind of sex. First, she had a nasty cold. Then she got her period and, a few days later, I got a cold. Not the same cold since at about the time I started to feel OK again, she got my cold. It’s all conspired against us.

So, this is one of those periods of time when a guy like me starts to question his predicament. I was fortunate in that there were few times in which I actually felt the “otherness” that sometimes attaches to the device. When the facade slips and my brain recognizes it for what it really is: A foreign object locked to my body. It’s the worst when it feels unnatural. That just acerbates my stewing and foul mood. For the most part, though, it’s cloaking device has worked and I’ve accepted it as part of me. Even with how it flips and flops and is constantly pulling in the opposite direction of the rest of me. Even in the morning when the nocturnal plumbing it at its maximum. It hasn’t woken me up more than just a little in days and, to the extent that it does, I simply roll over and go back to sleep feeling comforted by my constricted state.

When things are like this, when there’s no sex and it’s been more than a month since I came and my brain continues to buy into the fantasy that the penis is made of metal, I slip into this weird void space. I start to feel like this other kind of thing. A being that’s simultaneously sexless yet instantaneously aroused. Not a man. Something we don’t have a word for.

There may be some of you out there reading this with your free-range dicks getting all hard and turned on by that kind of talk, but it’s simply the most difficult thing about long term enforced chastity. Not being able to have a proper hard-on, not being able to wrap your hand around it, reaching down to find only an unfeeling mass of hot metal and a sack of fat testes as your only genitalia. Having nothing at all to do with your need for any kind of sexual release (even if its hers). When it’s bad, it’s really bad. It turns you into something you have no experience being.

And I have been feeling that lately. It’s not Belle’s fault and I don’t feel any anger at all toward her for it. It’s just how things are. Last night, though, as we watched TV in bed, things changed somehow. I actually do have experience being this way now. With a little inadvertent help from Belle, I found my way out.

It started with her hand on my ass. Sometimes, we lay in bed and I put my head on her midsection and stretch out in the opposite direction. Last night, in that position, she slipped her hand into my pajama pants and lightly stroked my ass. This kind of simple affectionate touching is like catnip to a guy in my position. It simultaneously excites and soothes my hormone addled mind. Sometimes, when we’re in bed with the Sunday paper, she strokes the hair under my arm. Same thing. I could let her do that for days. I literally can’t get enough of it.

Anyway, hand stroking ass cheek. Two hours later, it was bed time and I was really worked up. Lights out, Belle asleep, and I’m feeling sorry for myself. Not mad. Not annoyed. Just sorry. After several near misses with sleep, I realized that I wasn’t in the void space anymore. The hand on the ass had been enough to stir me and I was coasting on the sleepless wave of chastity, constantly almost asleep only to be made more alert by a momentarily filled tube reacting to a new sexual vision or the turning of my body to a new position and feeling how that made the device press into me in a different way. I was fucking horny.

On the one hand, I really wanted to sleep. I was tired, still recovering, and have an appointment with the trainer this afternoon. I need my rest. On the other, I was excited and even happy to be back in frustrated horndog mode. As annoying as it was, it’s why I do this, after all. It’s the feeling I’ve come to associate with good things. It’s my natural state.

Somehow, I eventually did fall asleep. Sometime between midnight and one o’clock. Then, awake with Belle’s alarm at quarter to six. Not much, but enough. Just happy to be out of the fog.

chastity.xxx – UPDATED

There’s a new site called chastity.xxx on the web. Typically, I wouldn’t mention this (unless it was a really good site and this one’s not), but chastity.xxx is doing something patently sleazy.

First things first. I’m not linking to chastity.xxx because I don’t want them to see my site in their referrers (which is how I found them). If you want to see the site, you can type its URL into your browser the old fashioned way. Not that I think you should bother. It’s pointless.

Now, why do I think it’s sleazy? It’s not the way it advertises crappy chastity devices nor is it the tasteless click farm to various video porn sites (for which I assume chastity.xxx is an affiliate getting some kind of kick-back). No, it’s the fact that in the site’s main navigation, the blog link goes here and the forum link goes to Chastity Forums implying that I am somehow affiliated with the site or endorse it.

Neither is true.

If the owner of chastity.xxx is reading this, I would like you to immediately remove all links to my sites.

UPDATE: I’ve been told the owner of the site is someone who posts on Chastity Forums and is, by all accounts, a nice guy. That may be true, but I’d still appreciate having links to my sites removed. If I was listed among other sites in a blogroll kind of thing or as a resource, that’d be fine, but by linking to me from the main navigation, a relationship is suggested that simply doesn’t exist.

UPDATE 2: The links have been removed.

Mailbag

From this week’s mailbag:

My Goddess and I have been keeping up with your blog for a while now.   We have a female lead relationship and have been talking of chastity (orgasm control) for some time and have looked at many device options.  It would seem that there are many views on how to correctly measure for a device and as noted many customer and non-customer makers are different in how they view there sizing.   Would you mind sharing your insight on how to measure for the most optimal sizing for extended use/wear.  🙂 Thank you for any insight you would be able to and or willing to share.

As I’ve said in the past, Mature Metal’s guide to measurement is, in my opinion, the way to go. I’ve had commenters here on the blog take exception with it and specifically how tight to make the A-ring, but at the end of the day, personal preference and your own physical tolerance is a big part of the puzzle. I like it when my device doesn’t feel like it’s always slipping off or that the penis could back right out any time I wanted it to (PA fixing not withstanding), so I go for a more snug fit in the ring. I do pay a price for that at night and when the penis is aroused, though. It’s not intolerable and it’s a sensation I can even become accustomed to and sleep through, but the ring, she does bite. The thing about me is, I like bondage and I like the feeling of extreme constriction and I even like the throbbing of an erection stuck in a tube less than half its size. Smaller tubes are better than big ones.

Regardless, I think MM’s tube length advice is spot-on and the right place to start.

Hey, it is me again, mike. i was having the problem with the penis head hurting but did as you suggested and removed the stealheart for a couple of days then put it back one, Have had it back on for over a week and no problems at all. So, i took the big step and yesterday gave the key to my partner and signed a six month contract. So, i will be locked up for the next six months and know He will not let me out due to He is in the Navy and heads out to sea Tuesday and will not be back till July and He took both keys and put them in His safty deposit box that i dont have access too. Wish me luck, i will need it. i’m the guy that likes to jack off a couple of times each day and it is already driving me nuts and He leaves sin two days and i’m horny as hell !

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say this is totally genuine and your typos aren’t due to one-handed typing.

I’m happy you have a guy who’s willing to lock you up, but I’m not entirely sure this is a good situation for you. It’s really, really hard to be separated from your dick and not getting any attention from one’s partner (and, at the same time, not have one’s partner to pay attention to) during long-term denial. I don’t recall if this new Steelheart is the first device you’ve had or if you are an old hand at chastity, but there’s still the possibility that you’ll have fit issues you’ll need to deal with. I wouldn’t ever want to be locked into a steel device without relatively easy access to an emergency key. Can you get into his safe depot box?

That’s just me sounding like a worried mother. I get how hot the situation is now for you. I hope you still find it so in six weeks.

I love your blog.  Have you posted a copy of the Covenant you signed with Belle?

It was posted on the blog for some time, but she decided it was too much, so we simplified. Now it’s pretty much “whatever Belle says” and we leave it at that. Truth is, I got a lot more out of it than she did.

Finally, I forgot to post this last bit a while back. As usually, Tom was the more responsible of the two of us and did it when he was supposed to while I procrastinated. In any event, it seems as though my pal Dishevelled Domina is asking women who are dominant (or perhaps even those upon who the title has been foisted) to agree to be interviewed.

If you are a woman who likes to decide the how and when of sex, I have some questions for you. You needn’t consider yourself a dominatrix or even claim the title dominant woman. If you enjoy taking the lead in bed or setting the pace sexually, I’d like to know a little more about you. Female sexuality is incredibly diverse and if you are a woman who prefers to be more in control than your partner then you are the kind of gal I want! Please email me at dishevelleddomina@gmail.com

That’s all I got for now. If you have a question or comment or other morsel of communicative goodness you want to pass my way, don’t forget about the feedback page.