HNThumper LXI: Skinny dip

Jumped in the pool the other day after my workout. When we designed the backyard and had the pool put in last year, it was with this specific opportunity in mind. I wanted to be able to use my backyard without clothing whenever possible. About 90% of the yard and the entire pool are outside anyone’s view (unless they’re pressed up against the fence and peeking through a crack in which case they’ll see what they see). I look forward to being out there more as the summer progresses and the kids go off to camp, etc.

Here’s the moderately SFW take. The NSFW alternate follows after the jump.


Continue reading “HNThumper LXI: Skinny dip”

Twice on Sunday

Belle and I talked this morning about me going outside our relationship for things she doesn’t want to provide. She reiterated that my permission to do so remains. So, worries of drama or other calamities by some were unfounded.

Her guidelines are a little clearer now. For one, she doesn’t want my dalliances to interfere with our life. They should be on my time. That complicates things a bit, but life is complicated. She doesn’t necessarily want to read about what I do and wants any blog posts on the subject to be behind a jump so she can ignore them. She also wants to retain her privacy and anonymity. Finally, and as she’s already said, the penis will always be locked up. That’s hers. She said it turns her on knowing that even in that kind of situation she controls it.

An unanswered question for both of us is how this might affect our dynamic. Since she’s the most important thing in the world to me, all I can promise is she’ll always have primacy in all things. Whatever relationships I develop alongside ours will be subordinate. Based on my previous experience with extramarital relationships, I think I can say my feelings for her will not diminish (and might even increase), but this is new territory for both of us. A lingering possibility in all this is that some day she might want something outside our marriage. I told her I don’t feel I have any say in that. In my mind, she controls both what I’m allowed to do with my body and what she does with hers. She mentioned that she thought it was funny, after all we’ve been through and after all these years, that we’d both find things we can’t give the other. She can’t/won’t give me a certain flavor of sexual experience I crave and I…here I expected her to say I wasn’t well enough endowed, but it’s that I’m not able to take her (and, maybe a little because of the size of the penis). I can’t fuck her and use her and come in her the way she wants. She craves being topped and I’m not a top. Maybe someday, she’ll let herself have what she craves.

In any event, she said she doesn’t have any problems with me seeking outside activities. She’s surprised in how little the prospect bothers her. At first, she figured it would be a very transactional thing. I’d find someone to fuck me and that would be it. But neither of us are capable of transactional sex, I don’t think. I need to have some kind of connection to the person, even if it’s not romance. Even so, she’s perfectly comfortable with me proceeding.

After that talk, we had lovely, leisurely sex. She told me up front I wasn’t going to come out of the device. She let me out Saturday morning so I could fuck her with Blue (which, she reports, “doesn’t even feel that big anymore”), but I had to put another device back on before I got out of bed. At least she let me in without Blue after she came. However, this morning I was left in the Looker 02 while she writhed under my fingers.

She came nicely and while she was basking I did my best not to grind the locked penis into her. The L02’s insert was choking the stifled erection and I told Belle how badly I wanted out so I could enjoy her. “You’ll have to wait,” she said. I replied that part of me hated that answer but another part of me knew it was best for me.

She didn’t let me fuck but she did allow me to lick. I moved down between her legs and sucked on her clit and inhaled as deeply as possible her essence. It was the first time I’ve ever gone down on her where I wasn’t trying to make her come. I was able to just enjoy the feeling and taste of her on my lips and tongue. I rubbed her wetness all across my face drenching me from my nose to my chin.

The other day when I picked her up from the airport, I experienced something probably only 17-year-olds and perpetually denied guys feel (at least as strongly as I did). She was in the car with me and I was happy to see her but at some point I felt it. Her pussy. It was there, too. I could sense it. Feel it’s gravitational pull. It left me feeling a little light-headed and with a chest full of butterflies. It intensity of it left me digging my fingers into her thigh which, I realized, was itself so close to it’s radiative heat. I so badly crave her pussy now that I’m not allowed to play with the penis and pretty much only come out of a device so I can fuck her. It’s like the other side of the coin from the penis now. She has me very well trained to be in tune with it.

Eventually, she started to warm to what I was doing. Every time I flicked her clit her leg would twitch until I was attacking it like it was my everything (and it is). She told me to get Pink so she could finish herself off while I sucked on her tits.

She came for a second time and I was left squeezing my swollen nuts.


So many devices, just the one penis

New shiny pretty thingWhilst perusing the Tumblr, I saw a new (for me) stainless device.

Turns out the BON4 guys of silicone device fame have a new metal option, the BON4M. Looks nice. I like the cage design. Very sleek. Also a big fan of the brushed metal look. Aren’t too many using that finish out there that I’m aware of. Also like that the gaps between the bars seem too narrow to do much more than get the tips of your pinky in there but are ample enough to allow for easy cleaning.

Not sure about those hinged rings, though. It seems to me that the gaps down there would be a place where irritation would form, especially when the hydraulics are active. I’m a fan of solid rings, myself. And the brass lock sitting on top of that metal cage might end up being a lot like tieing a little cowbell on your penis. Also, though it’s very hard to know from the images, I wonder how smooth the BON4M is. Little bits and burrs are just more opportunities for discomfort and hot spots. Finally, that A-ring has the dreaded sharp corners like the CB-6000. Bah!

Anyone out there have any experience with the BON4M?

V2_small_blackIn other new device news, the Holy Trainer’s been redesigned. Their great A-ring appears to be the same and the tube looks largely unchanged, as well, but it’s sporting an all new and simplified lock design.

In my Holy Trainer review, I was concerned about how durable the hole through which the padlock was locked would prove to be over time. This new design appears to totally resolve that by eliminating the padlock all together (along with the little cap that held the ring and tube together). It’s the only plastic device I know of that uses the same type of integrated lock Steelworxx offers. Looks bulky, but not any bulkier than the old design which, in practice, wasn’t all that big a deal. It’s still made of the controversial “biosourced resin” so the caveats regarding the clear version and heat-related breakage remains, I assume.

While I haven’t worn it, this new design looks even better than the old one. Still waiting to see what CB-X’s response will be. The Holy Trainer is a very competitive product and the CB-6000 is looking older and less innovative by the day.

Finally, I’m noodling a revised Looker 02. The one I’m wearing right now is, truth be told, my favorite of Belle’s steel devices, but it could be improved. The urethral insert would be better if it were bigger. It’s 6mm in diameter and it tends to retain fluid after urinating. I think that, if it were bigger (maybe 9 or 10mm), the urine would be more likely to drain. The extra girth wouldn’t be a problem as that’s still much smaller than the largest sound I’ve used.

In addition, the cap at the end of the cage could be improved if it were just about 10mm longer. The edge of the penis’ glans occasionally gets pinched between my pants/underwear and the lip of the cap. If it were just a tad longer, that’d resolve the issue. Additionally, the overall length of the device could be about 5mm or so shorter and the diameter of the cage could even be a little smaller.

2014-03-19 19.36.49Lastly, I’d like the urethral insert to be positioned lower in the cage than it is now. That’d make it a closer fit to the penis’ anatomy.

I’ve sketched up what I’m thinking. We might order this, though with the cap modification and at current exchange rates, it’d be pushing $500. Not cheap, though tons cheaper than a Steelwerks device. Not sure Belle’ll ever spring the three grand (or more) needed to get one of those. Alas.



Further Looker 02 observations

I’ve been in the Looker 02 for two weeks now and am about to come out for our trip to NYC. Belle’s told me I’ll be free n’ floppy whilst visiting Gotham. Still kinda unclear if I’m out of the orgasm warning window or not, but maybe that’s by design.

Anyway, I thought this would be a good time to make some observations about the L02 since it’s been a while since I spent this much time in it.

Running: A while back, I went into the L02 for a day and had to get out because I went to the gym right after putting it on and ran three miles on the treadmill. A few hours later, it felt like someone had shoved broken glass up my urethra. Yeah, just like that. It seems as though for the first 24 hours or so things can be a little tender and susceptible to irritation and during that period an activity like running isn’t something I’d advise. However, once the penis gets used to being impaled, things tend to settle down and running isn’t a problem. In fact, I just ran four miles yesterday (about 14 in the last two weeks) and I felt nary a twinge. I find that the longer I wear the Looker and its insert the more comfortable it becomes.

Gym: I have already learned this lesson, but the L02 can only be worn to the gym with dark colored pants/shorts and highly supportive (read: tight) underwear. When I wore it with my gray shorts the other day, I was on my eighth or ninth inclined sit-up before I noticed the contours of the Looker’s cage were quite visible through that light-colored material. The Steelheart (which I assume I’ll be wearing when we get back from New York) tends not to be so visible in those kinds of positions because it’s heavier and drops lower between my legs. All this continues to beg the question in my mind as to what my trainer thinks of all these odd bulges and what it will take for him to finally come out and ask me about it.

Risk: My description of putting the L02 back on after sex the other day prompted reader Thom to comment:

Hmm. Sterilization of anything that goes up the urethra has always worried me enough to not try out a plug (even if I got my hands on some surgical lube). Granted, I haven’t done much reading on sounding. Did you address that issue in another post I’m forgetting about? Because, I mean, sliding the bulb of the plug in with the help of all those body fluids is hot, but it sounds iffy to my ears…

Sterilization and surgical lube sounds very sensible. But really, there isn’t much about long term chastity and denial that is sensible. I’ve opined on this before. There is risk inherent in everything worth doing and, for me, shoving a titanium rod up the penis for weeks at a time is, oddly enough, worth doing. But regardless. I just don’t think there’s much to worry about re: inserting body fluids up there.

The lovely thing about a penis is its flushed out with large quantities of sterile fluid several times a day. In addition, the insert only goes about 3″ up and that seems to be far enough away from my bladder to avoid any kind of infection. I am, of course, no doctor and am totally unqualified to dispense medical advice, but my experience in wearing the Looker 02 for weeks at a time suggests it’s minimally not easy to get something like a UTI from using it.

Pole action: Lastly, my experience with the Looker 02 demonstrates that if Belle ever lets us invest in something like the Steelwerks Extreme PA Classic it’s tube will have to be shorter than the L02. Or even the Holy Trainer which is the shortest tube I’ve worn. The penis still tends to occasionally shrink up and not fill the L02’s cage (especially when working out) leaving a bit of the insert exposed. If I was wearing a device where the insert was secured through my PA, it’d end up being painful when the penis shrank and pulled on the PA fixing. This is what happened when I experimented with a PA cable back in the CB6K days. The only difference was, back then, the tube was so much longer than what I wear today. Still, I suspect that any pulling on the piercing will prove uncomfortable.

In any event, if you told me back when I started this that some day I’d be pondering living day in and day out in a tube about one third the length of the penis when it’s hard, I’d be very surprised.

Coconuts and candlelight

Last night, with only candles illuminating the room, I was kneeling naked at end of the bed except for the Looker 02 and massaging Belle’s feet with coconut foot lotion. I asked Belle what one thing has changed most for her in our dynamic since we started it.

Her answer was that she was more confident in her role and less worried and/or guilty about what I was going through. My periodic whining about being so horny and desperate rarely phases her anymore. At the beginning, our exploration of chastity and denial and female domination were all as a result of a difficult phase in our marriage (not a unique story) and she accepted the dynamic more as a reaction to all that. We were not in an especially healthy place, though I think we’re now in the midst of the best, most intimate years of our relationship. In any event, that was her answer. Confidence. Learning how to make my denial her own, so to speak. That comes with time, of course, and experience.

She asked me the same question. I said I wasn’t as urgent as in the early years. There was an imperative that drove me. Hard to describe, really, but I seemed to be in a terrible hurry to get all that denying denied. Also, while I was ascribing a desire to submit to her authority and control over me and my sex, I ended up being a headwind for her in trying to find her path. I had my own ideas and my life-long conditioning as a male in our culture left me with residual feelings and impulses very much at odds with what I was saying I wanted. Once I accepted that I didn’t deserve anything, that I really didn’t want to deserve anything, that the best sex was the sex she wanted and not the sex I tried to push onto her, I found the turbulence within me subsided. Somehow, somewhere, I left that entitled prerogative behind. Realized it was incompatible with the kind of submissive partner I said I was and wanted to be.

My temperament is more even now, too. There are fewer highs and lows. I’m more often in “the zone” and feeling pretty good. I think that’s due to a few things. One, I don’t have orgasms so the swelling and crashing hormones aren’t a factor. Also, some of that could just be from my body chemistry adjusting to how it is to live without the release of orgasm (nearly seven months now). Two, either Belle’s confidence has left me less inclined to challenge her or I’m better at letting her lead, but regardless, I’m a lot more comfortable in my submissive skin than I was back in the day. I have learned how to gather energy from the act of submission. From being focused on her needs and desires and wants and letting the fuzzy warmth of knowing I am serving her feed me in a way I had a hard time with earlier on. The foot rubbing, for example. The composition of the event had very sexual overtones, but she didn’t want that. That didn’t stop the penis from surging and choking on the Looker’s insert and straining against its bars. For me, it was sexual. For Belle, it was luxuriously relaxing. For both of us, it was what we wanted.

All of this kind of talk sort of backed into Belle’s assertion the other day that she was close to letting me out and making me come. The supreme irony of being her submissive is knowing that she has a need and a desire to be taken by a man. A strong and powerful one who can have his way with her. She’ll be wanting that from me and, because I want her to have whatever she wants, I’ll do my best to give it to her, but the very act of doing so has the potential to screw with the foundation of our dynamic. If I unleash the lizard and we screw like teenagers there will be an impact. It’ll be my job to hold up my commitment to her without the hormonal help.

This is where the idea of being cuckolded comes from, I’m sure. You get to this point where her needs are paramount and there is this one kind of sex you almost by definition can’t provide but you want her to have it anyway. Toss in a pinch of kinking on humiliation and there’s your recipe for wanting her to take a boyfriend. She even joked about it once more as I was rubbing her feet. Said she could make me sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed, naked and uncovered, while she shared it with her lover. “I’ll let you stew on that idea for a while,” she said. Good god, the device was tight right then. I had to stop rubbing to wait for the feeling of what that would be like to pass. It took my strength away.

Of course Belle’s very happy with the husband she has and the benefits of my submission, but she never would have described me if she was asked to write down the perfect mate back when she was 21. I told her that the idea of having a person with the needs I have as a partner sounded exhausting to me. I guess that really means I’m a sub because I don’t think I could stand having to deal with one. That’s one of the things that makes me so thankful she deals with me. That she’s taken the time to really try and figure out how to make all this work. That means, if she tells me to suck it up and have good old fashioned “pure” sex with her, I’ll do it. She’s accommodated me. It’s my job to reciprocate.

But not last night. Once the rubbing and talking was over, it was time to sleep. I wanted to get inside her pussy, but Belle was tired. Once again, my desires melted away in the face of her intentions. And we fell asleep intertwined and smelling of foot lotion. And happy.

Mailbag (The “No, you really don’t want me to fix your internet” edition)

Back in November sometime, I decided to start experimenting with different email clients both on my computer and my phone. In doing so, I set up my work addresses (there are two of them), my personal address, and the one or two other old addresses that still occasionally receive something of value. I forgot to set up my Thumper mail. Therefore, I didn’t see any emails to that address until just the other day when I thought to myself, “Huh. I haven’t seen any feedback from the…uh…um. Oh. Right.”

So, if you sent me any email since about the last week in November, sorry! It seems I’m an idiot. Without further delay, here’s the stuff I can answer that was sent to me while I was on my little email vacation…

An anonymous reader asked:

I’m pretty interested in buyin a Looker02.

I’m not sure how to measure, not getting it all what Dietmar says (he’s currently in holiday, too)

How to I measure? The penis while *totally* (after cumming or so) flaccid? The circumference while flaccid or while hard?

Yes, measure while totally flaccid. Not the tiniest your dick gets, but in its normally soft and sleepy state.

Please note my penis grows a lot when becoming erect 😉

Lucky you. It’s my experience that the device should be as close to your flaccid size as possible, but the penis on me only gets about double its flaccid size, so YMMV.

I want to extend the plug beyond the A-ring from 1cm to 2 or 2.5cm, to make security a little bit higher. Is this anatomically possible?

I wouldn’t recommend it. The little bit that sticks out does make the device marginally harder to get out of, but it’s still not very secure (but no less secure than any other non-PA involved device). You’d have to make the insert go way up inside you to use it as an actual security measure. However, that little bit is the part that can irritate your urethra while being strenuous (ie, jogging). I’d stick with the 1cm and pretend like it’s secured with magical powers.

The hardest about is about measuring the mm for the cockring. What’s the best method? (I have a girlfriend who can do this but we’re always getting something else :/ )

This is the..uh…hardest part. It’s also why I recommend a CB-6ooo or similar plastic device before going to metal, but whatever. You need to measure around your cock and balls using a measuring tape or string (measuring the length of the string afterward). Cinch the tape/string until it’s just snug, but not tight. That’s about where you need to be. Note that the likelihood you’ll end up with a size too small or too large is high, so you might want to get two A-rings. Also note that, over time, you’ll likely want to move to a smaller ring with wear.

I fear you may have not waited and just went ahead and made your purchase. If so…did you see my apology up there?

Biboy asked:

I am going to order up a Looker 02 in the new year as Steelworxx is shut down for holidays until the new year.

Sounds like Dietmar’s going to be busy when he gets back from vacation.

I’ve read all of ur reviews and was wondering if u still think the urethral tube couldn’t possibly be any longer now that u have spent a lot of time in the device? Reason I ask is I had spent a lot of time in the past sounding and I slid a sound in marked with tape to where the urethral tube will sit in me while I was wearing my Jail Bird. I can comfortably go a lot deeper than the the 1cm past the cock ring that they allow for when they make the Looker 02. I am going to have him make it so its approx the same size as my Jail Bird and as I was wearing it when I slid the sound in I thought it gave me a pretty good idea. Having said that tho I have never had a sound in all day or slept with one in obviously so I thought I would get it made to pass the cock ring 2cm. Feels like it could easily go an inch past but 2cm sounds safer. Thoughts?

Like I said above, the issue isn’t how far you can get a sound up there (the insert doesn’t really go very far), it’s that the device it’s welded onto will be moving around quite a bit and sending the end of the insert into all kinds of directions inside your body. It’s possible an extra centimeter won’t make that much difference, but personally, I wouldn’t want it any longer.

Number 2 concern, as I had spent a lot of time sounding before chastity I used to be stretched out to accept a 14 mm sound. I think I require a larger ball on the end of the urethral tube. Since I don’t jerk off anymore I don’t sound anymore. I’m sure that 14mm is not currently possible but I know I am still stretched out. U don’t know my body so I know u can only give so much info. I was wondering if u wished the ball at the end of the urethral tube was larger to hopefully not allow urine to get past it?

Urine getting past the ball doesn’t bother me. I actually think it’s beneficial as it does the normal job of urine and keeps the urethra cleaned out. That doesn’t mean I don’t wish the tube’s inner diameter wasn’t larger, though. The relatively narrow insert tends to retain urine and that leads to dripping and leaking (which is the device’s biggest drawback, IMO). Were I to do it over again, I’d get a fatter insert that drained easier.

Concern number 3 and last one of this long winded email. Ha. When I ordered my Jail Bird I know the cock ring was sized perfect. I think it still fits perfect but I know my body has a permanent impression of the ring  marked around my cock and balls now. I was thinking about getting it made an eighth of an inch smaller. Have u noticed that u could possibly have gotten a smaller cock ring than when u first became chaste? I don’t want it to be too small and I was lucky to get a perfect fit with my Jail Bird so I would like this experience to be the same.

If you think it’s perfect, don’t mess with it. I really get wanting a smaller ring, but don’t fuck it up.

Robert said:

I just found your site the other day and I have been reading your post starting back in 2008. I have read the first two years. First congratulations on you and Belle for continuing to live your relationship for over 5 years now. I had to skip ahead on your blog to the present to answering a question I had. Why no strap on play for you or at least have her in force butt plug wear at times on you. You seem like you are attracted to the male penis, why not take that attraction to her fake penis? Or maybe she is not into that. Am I answering my own question?

Belle has said in the (far distant) past that she’s not interested in using a strap-on on me and I haven’t had the guts to ask again. I would really be into trying, though.

I bought a CB6000 and still have it, my wife and I used to have kinky sex but our 3 year old, got in the way of that. Perhaps in the future.

Yeah. Damned kids. Said with much love and affection, of course.

Maybe you have tips but I couldn’t get into the CB6000. Now I am not huge, about the same size as you maybe a little bigger at 6.5 inches erect and a lot less when not. But the width, I am a little bit bigger then the width of the chastity device. I bought the CB6000 curve. Should I just put a lot of baby oil on and force it on or should I look for something bigger(any suggestions) and also do you shave your area.  I read that someone should but my wife doesn’t like that area shaved. Well any advice would be appreciated and Happy Holidays, hopefully you are able to cum this month. Denial might be the best present.

Six and a half is almost a full inch bigger than me. Based on what you wrote, it sounds like you’re wider than the CB6K while flaccid. If not, no problem. It’s supposed to be smaller than your hard-on. If so, yeah, that could easily lead to edema which is not serious if the device is removed promptly, but is uncomfortable. I have no experience at all with the Curve, unfortunately. You could experiment with the CB6K and put it on and just keep an eye on your dick. If there are no issues with edema, then damn the torpedos. Your best bet may be a bespoke steel device.

I kinda shave. I like to keep the hair off the shaft, scrotum, and perineum but Belle won’t let me shave it everywhere else. I do keep the surviving pubes trimmed to something between 1″ and 1/2″ long. Shaving can also lead to irritation as the stubble grows out and the device puts it in contact with the surface of skin that usually doesn’t have to deal with that kind of thing.

No, I was not able to come this month. But the month’s not over. But that doesn’t make any difference.

Allen reported:

Last week I traveled from LAX to Monterey CA on a scheduled airline.  Because I was traveling alone and my wife would not be embarrassed if anything overt happened, I persuaded her to let me travel with my Lori steel tube on.

It was late on a weekday night, no travelers before me at the mag-and-bag checkpoint, and I was invited to approach via the over-75 age line, despite not being quite qualified by age.  Leave shoes on, take off belt and cell phone.  I let them know I’d not be able to pass the mag test, and I didn’t.  The assumption was that I had shrapnel in me, to which I replied that it wasn’t that deep into me.

The inspection that followed is why I write.  I had a thorough pat-down except for the gonads, and then a test for explosives (that treated paper they wipe over your clothes), and when I passed those, I was free to go.  There was no further discussion of what metal I had, and it was no more intrusive than if I’d refused to accept the newer type of scanner.

At least in this single case, it’s encouraging that air travel while locked in steel is no big deal.

That’s very interesting. I’ve wondered if the pat-down was sufficiently invasive to detect a steel tube. I assume you didn’t go through the millimeter wave scanner and only used the metal detector. I wonder how they’d have reacted if they had seen it thought your pants.

In any event, thanks for the info!

Lizard’s lament

Last Thursday I went for a 5k run while wearing the Looker 02. Usually, this is not a problem, but on occasion I find the urethral insert can irritate me. It’s hard to know when I need to apply a bit of lube to it beforehand and when I don’t. I needed to this time and didn’t so I had to take it off.

Belle wanted me in the Steelheart anyway, so it was all good. Except that we couldn’t find the Steelheart. She looked in the place she keeps all the devices when they’re not in use and didn’t see it so I looked in the various spots I stash them before cleaning them and giving them back to her. No dice. I emptied drawers looking for it. Several times. I looked in places I knew it couldn’t be. It was really bugging me. She told me I put it in a sock or something (which I had zero recollection of and didn’t think was right). I stayed out all that night.

Next day, after my shower, I looked in Belle’s spot. There is was. And I’m the one who never finds things where they’re supposed to be.

Anyway, the Steelheart does something to me that none of the other devices do. It’s the real deal. It’s totally enclosed. It’s totally inescapable. It’s her favorite. My entire mindset changes subtly. In a way, it’s the most authentic of chastity experiences.

After spending the better part of three weeks in the L02, the Steelheart is a more demanding experience. It’s tighter and harder to sleep through the night in. When it clutches the erection, it’s more vice-like than either the Looker or Jail Bird. It’s just that much harder to hide in my pants. That little tube means business and doesn’t want me to forget it.

Last night, I was standing behind her in the kitchen as we made dinner. I reached around her with one arm pulling her close and put my other hand down the back of her pants. I felt the soft curve of her ass on one side of my hand and the hard curve of the device on the other as its contents surged and my knees got weak. I may have made a little moaning sound.

The Steelheart really is her device. It’s not at all mine. Knowing that makes my subby heart hum and thrum.

I got out this morning for the (currently) regular weekend activities. The penis was already hard so it did that slinky-snake-out-of-a-can trick where more came out than could possibly fit. Then I couldn’t get the A-ring off. I had to lay there and try to change the subject in my crotch just enough to give the hydraulics a bit of a break. Once done, I was able to turn my attention back to Belle.

The penis was leaking expectantly. I said something to Belle about how she always lets me out for sex on the weekends now. She said something about being a creature of habit and asked me if I’d rather not be let out. I told her before she presents the key I think about how hot it would be if she wouldn’t let me out but once the device is off I want inside her desperately. She told me she thought briefly about not letting me out this morning. The she grabbed the stiff penis and I stopped talking.

Her choice of orgasm delivery vehicle this morning was Big Blue. I got it on and again felt the odd tightness of it. How it grips the entire erection hard but simultaneously inhibits any other sensation. Belle mounted it and again made sounds she doesn’t make when it’s just me she’s fucking. She came with Blue balls-deep inside her and I never felt a thing. She told me how much she likes her new toy. I told her how happy that made me.

The first time Belle fucked Blue, she didn’t fully engage with it and came quickly. The second time, she fucked it well and good, but I didn’t get the chance to fuck her without it on until the next morning. This time, I was still hard and raring to go when she told me I could go in. And what I felt when I did took my breath away. She was so open. The big blue cock had pushed the walls of her pussy out in all dimensions in a way I never had. I could feel the penis moving through Big Blue’s shadow. She didn’t grip me as hard and I felt no “bottom” to her.

And the thought of that. That this cock that gave her so much obvious pleasure was so much bigger than me and filled her so much more than I could. That its presence in her moments before me made her feel like an entirely different woman. The memories of the little sounds she made when filled up by that cock, sounds I never heard before, and the look on her face while she was riding it, a look not quite like any I’d seen before. All of that hit me in a matter of seconds and I was as close as I could be to shooting my load right there. My brain was on fire with it. The knowing that the way bigger not-me was so satisfying to her and my lizard brain hating that and screaming about it and wishing both that Big Blue had never been bought and that I had a cock that was 7″ long and 2″ wide but feeling that I obviously did not and, all the while, the higher bunny brain totally getting off on the lizard’s torment and the idea that I was not and never would be equipped to pleasure her as well as that big blue dong.

I could barely fuck her. Every time I started a rhythm, I had to stop. I was right on the edge the whole time. Belle asked what was wrong and I told her that she felt different and how close I was. She smiled. Wondered aloud what I’d be like if she let me. One, two, three strokes and I’d be there. And I wanted it. I wanted to fill the space made by the big dick in her with my seed. My whole being was crying for the chance. But no, of course not, she said. Of course I wouldn’t come.

Shortly after, she told me I had to stop. But I didn’t want to. I wasn’t even close. I wanted to come. I wanted to try and fill her up. I wanted to mark my woman’s pussy that some other had been in. I know that’s not what had happened. I know it was actually me that fucked her with the big blue dick. But my lizard brain felt it differently. She had been violated. She needed to be reclaimed. And she wasn’t going to let me do it.

Laying next to her, grabbing and gripping my balls and the still-hard shaft, my brain actually hurt from the clash of emotion and desire and, undoubtedly, hormones and brain chemicals. I wanted back in there. I wanted to pump her full of me. But I wanted her to tell me no. To leave me wanting. To leave the lizard screaming.

FUCK, it was intense. In the best possible way, of course.

I know I’ve recently said I don’t suffer from blue balls all that much anymore. But I am right now. My groin hurts from the unreleased desire to reclaim Belle. As it should, I suppose.

The best male chastity device (Or, the post in which I use more than 1,300 words to answer a relatively simple question)

NOTE: This post has been revised and extended. Read it here.

Reader Doc has asked:

It has been decided — no, not by me — that I’m to start wearing a ‘device’. Though you’ve reviewed, compared, and described many, many devices over the time I’ve been following your blog, I would like your evaluation of which is (a) the best, and (b) what is the second best of all available. I know this would be subjective, but I’d rather not ‘reinvent the wheel’. (Oh, it has been agreed that I’m to start after the holidays — on January 1st, 2014.) I suspect others may find your “final” recommendation(s) useful, too… Thanks!

Hmm. I feel not unlike the Sorting Hat…

First things first. I assume you’re cool with being locked up and the “it has been decided, no not by me” thing was just a bit of hotness tossed in to torture the poor unlocked guys who read my blog. If so, well played. If not, are you sure you want to try this? If you don’t and are doing it for your keyholder, any device you get will likely end up living in a drawer far more than your pants.

With that out of the way, allow me to prevaricate a little more.

I like to say the best device is the one between your ears. In that, and touching on my first question to you, if you don’t want to submit to the device in the first place, then you’ll end up wanting to cheat and slip out of it or whatever. Of course, some folks go about this denial thing without devices and that’s fine if it’s what floats their boat, but even those of us with hardware need to have the proper mindset. I’m currently in the Looker 02 and have been for something like going on three weeks. I can pull out of it any time I want because it’s insignificantly more secure than the Jail Bird or the CB6K or any other stock trapped-ball chastity device.

But I don’t pull out. Ever.

I’ve already bought on to the deal with Belle. She decides when I’m locked up and when I’m not and I abide by her wishes on the matter. There are lots of times I wish the device was off me so I could have access to the penis, but I’m well past the point where I’d cheat to get around it because I want far more for her to care that I’m locked up. If I want her to care, I have to care.

So anyway, then there’s the issue of defining what “best” means. There are arguments to be made that cost, comfort, security, hygiene, and stealth are all important factors when considering “best.” Also, keep in mind I’ve only worn seven(!) different devices (CB-6000, silver CB-6000, CB-5000, Birdlocked Neo, Steelworxx Steelheart [two different devices], Steelworxx Looker 02, and the Mature Metal Jail Bird [two different devices]). The only way to know what the best one is is to know how important each of those attributes is to you.

Here’s my take on them (with the silicone device essentially ignored because it sucked so much and the CB-5000 ignored because it’s an odd bird).

COST: We’re fortunate enough that cost is not the driving factor in any decision Belle makes with regard to buying a device. We’re not so fortunate that we don’t have to stop and consider the very high cost of something like a Steelwerks device, but even that is, eventually, something that we could afford if she wanted it. I was just in a conversation with some folks on Twitter about buying knock-off CB6Ks the other day. Doing so saves you some money (sometimes, a lot), but, as I eventually said, you only have the one penis. Why risk it for a few bucks? If you can’t afford a real CB6K, wait until you can. We call that “saving.” But I digress.

Steelworxx versus Mature Metal are about a wash, cost-wise. There’s a perception that MM is cheaper and I’m sure in some cases they can be, but once you start adding on options, they both get to the several hundred dollars pretty quickly (Pro Tip: The prices shown on the Steelworxx site include VAT which those outside Europe do not pay. Create an account with your shipping address and watch those prices magically fall.)

The plastic/silicone devices are far cheaper than the metal. Also, metal devices are all custom so you need to be sure of your measurements if you don’t want to deal with costly and time consuming do-overs.

COMFORT: Complicated. Except for the silicone devices, comfort is all about fit. The Looker 02 and Jail Bird I wear have A-rings 2mm bigger than the Steelheart. The Steelheart wakes me up and is, occasionally, uncomfortable. Like, it can hurt. The other two are cake. I sleep through the night. No issues. That’s 2 lously little millimeters.

You could use something like Mature Metals sizing rings or do what I did and pick up stainless rings from the hardware store, but I’ve found that measuring like that is an imperfect science (Belle’s first Steelheart was way too big, both in the A-ring and tube length). For those who have not yet played with enforced chastity, my recommendation is to start with the CB-6000. It’s inexpensive (relatively) and allows lots of fit combinations to help you figure out the best sizing for you.

That said, I don’t think the CB6K is the most comfortable device. The A-ring in particular has nasty corners that dig too much during erections. Right now, the most comfortable device I wear is the Looker 02 (even with the urethral insert). The Jail Bird is a close second and would be just as good as the L02 if not for its open design at the end of the cage. The Steelheart, with a well fitted A-ring, would also rank pretty high.

SECURITY: The only really secure device (as defined as one you cannot get out of) is one that incorporates some type of piercing. Short of that, you want a device that feels secure. That’s, again, about fit. You want it to feel snug but not tight. Something that seems like a second skin until an erection comes along. The first Steelheart hung too low and was too heavy to feel like I couldn’t slip out at a moment’s notice without the PA fixing in place.

So, the best device in this department is the one that’s attached through your dick. I only wear one like that.

HYGIENEThe most hygienic device I currently wear (defined as the one that stays the cleanest after a day of normal urinating, etc.) is probably the Jail Bird. The Steelheart will always trap a small amount of urine even after the most thorough attempt to get it all out. Some guys seem really creeped out by that (it’s no big deal as long as you rinse it out at night). The Looker 02 has a tendency to retain urine in the urethral insert and therefore leaks after you’ve peed. The CB6K is about as good or bad as the Steelheart, but, since it’s plastic and not metal, it’s a bit harder to make thoroughly clean.

In any event, if the idea of dealing with lingering urine squicks you out, the JB is the way to go. Next best is the Steelheart, then the CB6K, then the Looker 02.

STEALTH: Stealth is defined by two metrics. Visibility and sound (as measured when wearing sweats or pajama pants, etc.). The Jail Bird with the security screw option is totally silent. The Looker 02 is nearly so. The Steelheart with the PA fixing and PA ring in place occasionally makes some noise, but not much. The CB-6000 was actually the noisiest due to the lock banging against the tube when I walked around. With regard to visibility, the CB6K (non-S version) was the most noticeable of all I’ve worn by far. The others are much less so (with the Looker 02 being the least visible), but of course, they’re all custom so YMMV.

SO…which is the best?

It’s a bit of a Sophie’s choice. They’re all good for different reasons. I guess, right now, if I could only wear one, I’d lean very slightly towards the Looker 02. Its tendency to trap urine in the tube is annoying but not a big deal for me. It’s super comfy and pretty fucking hot. However, if you’re new to a device, I still recommend the CB-6000 (probably the S version depending on your flaccid size). It’s a relatively inexpensive way to dabble and will help with figuring out sizing if you ever decide to go with steel.

Chastity at the gym

Been in the Looker 02 recently. Couple of random observations regarding it and my thrice weekly personal trainer sessions.

  • He’s made me do Supermans recently (and today). This is a totally cake excercise for me usually, but, since I’m basically putting all my weight onto my hips, it ends up feeling like I’m being impaled on the L02’s urethral insert. The other day, I had to do them rolled out onto an exercise ball. Not painful, but like, “Oh, yeah. I’ve got this thing shoved up me. Right.”
  • Shoulder shrugs are a standing exercise where you lift a bar hanging down around your hips using your shoulder muscles (like a shrug, right?). No issues except for when, instead of sliding smoothing up and over as it would with an unencumbered penis, the bar gets caught by the rigid cage of the device and noticeably flips it up and then back down. It just looks in no way natural.
  • When you’re laying down on a bench doing decline crunches, the odd little lump in one’s workout shorts will often be visible. This can also happen when you’re doing any other kind of recumbent bench press, but is more pronounced when you’re laying in a position where your head is lower than your knees. In particular today, while doing barbell skull-crushers, the penis felt like it was moving down the insert while I was exercising (like, I could feel the insert sliding along inside the shaft of the penis), making the entire package at least feel a lot more present.
  • Occasionally, my sessions will end with my trainer stretching my hip flexors by laying me on a mat and pushing my knee forward into my chest while my other leg stays flat on the ground. Lots of stretchy crotch bits being stretchy and pulling the shorts flat along the line of my legs except, of course, for the bits that don’t stretch and just stand up all perky and weird. Bad enough, but worse when one of the other gym rats is standing there looking down at you and your trainer and chatting while your pronounced little bump sits there being pronounced. Worse yet when you’re wearing the only gray shorts you have rather than the black ones you normally wear and you notice that not only is the lump prominently visible, you can even see the bars on the sides of the L02’s cage and the ridge made by the device’s lock pressing through the material.

When I first started working out with this guy, the idea that my condition would be noticeable by him was mortifying. Now, even when I may be getting busted by other random gym goers, I just let it roll off me. I haven’t a clue what anyone thinks if they’re even noticing the weird little lumps and bumps (and I’m pretty sure they are) and I really don’t care. I’ve wondered if the trainer would ever bring it up and what I’d say if he did. He’s also Belle’s trainer. I think I’d probably come clean, but I don’t know for sure.

In any event, for the prospective chastity device wearer, all these things are totally doable while locked up. Doable while being as stealthy as possible? Maybe not so much.