The sporting life

Venerable chastity blogger Tom (I bet he just loves being called “venerable”) expounded on something the other day I’ve been meaning to get back to for a little while: Chastity and exercise.

His opening bit about looking for the perfect device that allows for movement and comfort yet is inescapable and undetectable and light and cheap and perfectly hygienic and sexy and not actually carved from a block of solid unobtanium was pretty funny to me because it is how a lot of guys are, especially when they start out, and not entirely unlike how I was at one time. While new devices are still intriguing to me, I’ve got enough time under my belt (ahem) to know the Goldilocks device just isn’t out there. But I digress…and we’re only on the second paragraph.

Tom’s post (and apparently this one) was about how one exercises and stays active from the point of view of a person invested in “the chastity lifestyle.” His ultimate advice is fairly simple:

After a dozen or more years of reading chastity oriented groups, it occurred to me that I don’t remember anyone saying something like “It’s not a life-support system, it’s only a sex toy. Just take the damn thing off for an hour, why don’t you?”

Tom is an eminently reasonable fellow. Very Spock, in a way. I find his point of view to often be practical and not especially emotional. That’s not a bad thing. Not at all. But it’s a difference between he and I. I’m more…I don’t know. I don’t want to say emotional, though I am that. I’m more sentimental. I’m more idealistic, perhaps. And I think enforced chastity is emotional more than it’s practical.

In any event, I recall back to when I started doing the regular gym thing. Got a trainer and everything. I can’t recall at the moment which device I was in at that time (probably the Steelheart), but I do recall suggesting to Belle I might need to have an easily accessible key in order to take the device off while working out. She wouldn’t have any of that. I had to see my trainer (actually, trainers since I was handed off to one of three people including a 6’5″ West African and a tight lesbian kick-boxer) locked up. I don’t know if it was that she didn’t trust me to have access to the penis or if she just didn’t want to break the dynamic. Maybe both.

At the time, I was terrified. Gyms are pretty masculine places and I’ve never been good in especially masculine situations. Now she was telling me I was going to need to go into that wearing flimsy gym clothes and an odd, hard bulge in my crotch. The solution to this predicament was two-fold. One, I bought some compression shorts. Second, I chilled the fuck out.

In actual fact, I have found no physical reason to be out of a steel device (even with part of it shoved up inside me) while working out at the gym. I’ve done just about every kind of weight-related excercise possible now and there are only a few times it’s even marginally an issue. Tom mentions deadlifts and that’s one example, but I’ve never feared for my safety. All that happens is sometimes the bar will catch on the device rather than sliding smoothly over it like it would with a natural penis. The other time it comes into play is when I’m doing any exercise involving laying on my stomach (like supermans — especially interesting in the Looker 02).

There’s really only two reasons to be unlocked when in the gym and, IMO, they’re both mental. One is you just can’t bear the idea of someone seeing your state and knowing you’re locked up. So much is written about stealth in chastity. It’s one of main things guys want to know about when discussing a new device. How well can it be hidden? Is it visible through jeans? On the one hand, I get that. I do. But on the other, I’m really far removed from caring anymore if some random person sees something out of place between my legs.

Case in point. My current trainer (the only of the original three I liked) has had a neophyte trainer shadowing him for a few weeks. She just sits off to the side while he works with his clients. The first time she was present when I was working out also happened to be when the only clean gym shorts I had available was a light gray pair that is the worst at hiding any kind of protrusion or steel, even in compression shorts. At some point, he had me doing a decline sit-up. With my legs hooked over the end of a declined bench, my shirt pulls up a bit, the shorts lay flat, and whatever’s between my legs becomes its most visible.

C’est la fuckin’ vie.

What are these people going to think? I can tell you, “chastity device” is not even on their list. Most muggles have never even heard of the things. And for those who have? Who can put two and two together? I don’t care. I’m not ashamed. On the contrary. Probably what someone uninitiated with chastity devices (and the hidden kink all around them in general) would think is that I had a really big cock (which is what the Steelheart looks exactly like under clothes). Most men would welcome that, I think.

The second mental reason not to wear it would be the issue of forcibly involving others into your sex life. You could argue (as I have with myself) that any time the device is visible I am risking exposing something about myself to others without their consent that they probably don’t want to know. My rationalization is that I can’t always hide the device, most people will have no idea what it is even if they see it, and I do nothing to be excessively exhibitionist about my sexual proclivities (this blog notwithstanding). There’s a fine line between being cognizant of the rights of others not to be involved in one’s sex play and shaming oneself into non-existence. I’m comfortable with my choices. This is, of course, something that everyone needs to figure out for themselves.

This is getting longer than I thought it would be…

So, to recap, IMO, no reason not to be locked up in a gym. Note I don’t have to change at my gym or shower there. If I did, that would change things for me and require more creative thinking (like, I would do those things elsewhere).

The other physical activity I’ve started doing quite a lot of lately is running. Three to five miles at a time three to four times a week (51 miles in the last month, according to Strava). Almost all the time, I’m wearing either the Steelheart or the Looker 02. In the Steelheart, there is slight yet totally audible clank with every stride. The PA fixing inside the device has some play in it and it along with my PA ring will strike the inside of the tube. There’s no pain or discomfort associated with this. I have no idea if anyone I run by even registers the sound (most runners don’t clank) or, if they do, what they make of it. See above for my position on that.

The Looker 02 can be an issue when running in that the bulb end of the urethral insert can cause irritation in the first day or so of wearing it after having not worn it for a long time. This irritation lasts about 24 hours then is gone. Lately, I’ve worn the looker for weeks at a time and run a lot and don’t feel a thing. I don’t even lubricate the L02 before running. I will when I think about it with the Steelheart, but the sweat usually creates enough lubrication to keep me chafe-free. I’ve never run with a plastic device on. I can’t imagine doing it with the CB6K.

Tom also mentioned biking. Hard to disagree with him there. Biking in a device can be miserable. I don’t like doing it and it’s one of the reasons I prefer running (just one, though — it’s not like I run just because I’m almost always locked up). Interestingly, the one device that’s not as bad on a bike (over the CB6K and Steelheart) is the Looker 02. But yeah, if you’re going to be a serious biker, you’re going to need to take off your device.

The same goes for lots of other sports. Team sports or contact sports. Sports that require cups. Hard to be able to do those in chastity. Dangerous, even. Imagine playing rugby or American football with a steel ring locked around your balls. Good god.

The biggest point of differentiation between Tom’s logical and sensible POV and mine (which, I guess by comparison, is…illogical and insensible?) is summed up his calling the chastity device “only a sex toy.” Of course, it is a sex toy. But the “only” part doesn’t really do it justice. It’s a sex toy that represents something larger. It represents a level of commitment equal to, say, a collar in any other D/s dynamic. While it’s hard to wear a collar in public, it’s relatively easy to wear a chastity device. I think the drive to find the perfect device that can be worn in all situations and at all times stems from those who, like me, see it both as a physical restraint ensuring her control and as a symbolic expression of how significant and profound the changes wrought by denial and chastity can be on a relationship.

Of course, that may not be how you practice chastity. It may not be that big a deal to you or your keyholder. As Tom said,

To be fair, I also see guys on chastity groups try to convince some newb why he could — or even should — wear his device 24/7; often going pretty far in their attempts to overrule objections or concerns. … Such responses probably induce a mindset in new guys which makes them think that 24/7 is the only acceptable way. I mean, why bother if you’re not going to do it the “right” way?

There isn’t a “right way.” The right way is the way that works for you and your partner. I’m not saying if you want to wear a chastity device that you must wear it while at the gym or running or you’re just a pretender. I am saying you can wear it at those times if you’re willing to accept a little discomfort once in a while and/or modify your routine enough to allow it. It’s entirely possible. And if you feel the need to do so, I understand perfectly where you’re coming from. 

13 thoughts on “The sporting life

  1. First off, you’re going to be venerable before you know it. It just sort of creeps up on you.

    I addressed bicycling and running because those are the two sports that I see come up the most often. And to be fair, the CB3000 might not be the best device with regard to deadlifting. On the heavier weights, knocking into the plastic mos def broke my concentration, and felt very uncomfortable.

    And kudos to you for not feeling self-conscious about being spotted with the device in the gym. I don’t think that someone getting a peek at the steel is really the same as involving anyone in your kink, though. It’s just an errant glance or a wardrobe malfunction. What bothers me are the guys who walk nude to the showers, expecting that either nobody will say anything, or perhaps hoping that they will.

    Anyone risking the jewels by playing a contact team sport in a device pretty much deserves what he’s bound to get.

    There are several saddles with a center split that could make cycling easier, and in fact, I have a nose-less saddle on one of my bikes. But they are primarily for more upright postures. The problem is that a good saddle puts pressure on some of the same places where a trapped-ball device is going to be, and the chafing from a 50 mile ride is something that I can’t even imagine.

    I know I sound like a buzzkill when I say “It’s just a sex toy,” and while I don’t mean to denigrate anyone’s choice of how they want to approach it, I think that I can make a case that a chastity device is essentially the same symbolic bit of equipment as a marriage ring. But that’s a subject for another round of posts.

    1. “What bothers me are the guys who walk nude to the showers, expecting that either nobody will say anything, or perhaps hoping that they will.”

      Word. Alas, that is not the world in which we live. Those guys need their own gyms, perhaps.

      “I think that I can make a case that a chastity device is essentially the same symbolic bit of equipment as a marriage ring. But that’s a subject for another round of posts.”

      Agreed! Write it!

  2. I’ve not had trouble biking. But I have a split saddle (got it long before I got into chastity) and I wear a Holy Trainer with the new integrated lock.

    1. There is one company that has a split saddle specifically designed for road bikes. Unfortunately, it’s a $180 experiment that may or may not work for me. On the plus side, I’d have a cool saddle, but geez…

  3. agree with you thumper, it means more. it’s a Shame to break the commitment.

    geez what is it with you yanks and nudity. a guy naked in the gym, dude it’s no biggie! I wonder what they put in your water sometimes.

    1. Naked guys at the gym aren’t that big a deal. Naked guys at the gym walking around in their chastity devices, though?

      Also, my gym’s too small to have a locker room or a shower. It’s a non-issue there.

      Also also, they put fluoride in our water. Apparently for our teeth.

      1. Has this actually happened? I mean has anyone really seen this even once? More than once by multiple guys?

        I just don’t think there are really dudes flaunting their caged junk in the lockers and showers at the local Y, LA Fitness, Gold’s, etc…

      2. Depends on where local is for you. I’ve interacted with guys on the web who have claimed to have done it. I suspect what happens in places like San Francisco and New York is a bit racier than the American Midwest. Also, the venue’s clientele and reputation would have something to do with it.

  4. I guess if guys claiming it on the old interwebs counts as confirmation 😉

    To the point, it doesn’t take a leap of the imagination to get to believing that it does occur in areas where it takes a lot to move the “shocked and offended” meter. But then, is it just part of the norm at those locations? It is a kink-lifestyle, not to different than sexual orientation, thus viewed as a “no big deal, seen it before, symbol like a wedding ring” type of thing?

    I know that it would definitely not work at the gym I go to … and even if I did go to a gym in a place where it was acceptable, I don’t believe I would be the flaunting type. I would probably relax my vigilance and precautions against accidental slips though … so yea its one thing to go about your business at the gym but dudes shouldn’t be advertising their junk around the locker room … caged or not …

  5. I think it would take an awfully dedicated observer to time your ‘clanks’ to the motion of your penis (or penis-related-area). If I heard someone clanking while running I would assume he had something metal in his pocket.

    I’m a crotch-starer (when I can get away with it) and it’s amazing how little you can actually tell about a guy’s equipment (see what I did there?) even when the clothes are on the revealing side.

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