Category: Chastity Nerdery

Those posts where I (mostly) drone on endlessly about living in enforced chastity.

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Mailbag

Over on The Portfolio, an anonymous…what? Not reader. Not over there. Well, I guess they’re a reader. Whatever, here’s what they said:

Last year my Wife became very demanding about me wearing the CB all the time full time. Its getting close a year now and she has only become more demanding of me. This year she has 11 orgasms while I only have had 8 ejaculations.

She seems to think nothing of taking hers and denieing me mine and in fact has many times told me, “Males don’t need to ejaculate”.

I feel like if I told her, “I want to stop wearing the chastity device.” she would get really mad and not allow it.
I’ve grown into this place and she keeps me here.

Do you feel like this sometimes?

I’m not sure how you feel. I read it one way, and it sounds like you’re not having a very good time. I read it another way, and it sounds like you’re getting off on it.

I supposed I’ve felt both ways. We all have rough spots, after all. It’s a hard thing to wear a device, but it’s also supposed to be enjoyable. If you’re not enjoying yourself, it doesn’t really matter if males need to ejaculate because males (as well as females) need to feel like they’re being cared for and loved by their partner. Again, if you’re not enjoying yourself, you need to speak to your wife immediately (and feel free to take the device off) to figure out what you’re not getting out of the dynamic.

If you are enjoying yourself, yeah, I’ve felt that way, too. That warm and fuzzy sensation of having no power and no control and living entirely at her whim. That’s fucking awesome. If you are enjoying it, I think you’re a lucky guy because your wife has clearly taken to her role.

Reader Larf666 said:

I’m wondering what your experience is whith the relation chastity and cognitive work. When I’m in a CB for longer then a week, I start to get very distracted, have I hard time concentrating for a long time in row, etc.. My mind keeps going to hot places and hence, I have a hard time getting my day job done… Do you have similar experiences? If so, how do you cope with it? Do you get use to it?

This is a huge problem for me, actually. I’m more than a little ADD to begin with and long-term denial ends up feeling like there’s a three-year-old following me around constantly asking questions. Can I have a sucker? When will we get there? I have to pee! Can I watch TV? I’m hungry! Can I have a pony? Tumblr makes that worse because I know there’s a veritable flood of arousing pictures just a click away.

The way I get around it is by having a job that requires a lot of interaction with other people. When I’m in a room with a whiteboard and a group of others, I may get momentarily distracted by the occasionally hot person or some otherwise inconsequential detail of their person, but it allows me to be distracted enough that I forget my other distraction.

Just on Friday, I was at an all-day offsite thing with a bunch of strangers. I found the content sufficiently interesting and the environment allowed me no screen privacy so the online distractions weren’t an issue, but all I could do was sit there and listen. Then, after lunch, a dude sat next to me who I was totally into. On the surface, this guy was not my type at all. Normally, I’d not give him a second glance. But in my enhanced state, I didn’t really give a shit about his face. He was taller than me by a few inches and showed a fairly well-developed body under his clothes. Not ripped, just really strong. Broad shoulders. Meaty thighs. Nice…sigh…just about everything. Normally, when I see a guy who gets me off, I fantasize about them fitting into me, but this guy was different. This guy I wanted to be manhandled by. I wanted him to be a disgusting pig of a man and totally use me, then throw me away like yesterday’s paper. It was palpable.

What was I saying? Oh, yeah, distractions. Totally been there. You don’t ever really get over it or used to it.

Kayle wrote:

Hey Thumper;

I found your blog last week, and I’m really, really impressed by it! It’s amazing how devoted you are to her, and every one of your blog entries seems so honest and easy-to-read.

The reason I’m writing is because I work for EdenFantasys as a member of the Blogger Relations Team.  We’d LOVE to see you getting involved with us. One of the main ways that most bloggers like to start working with us to write a basic post in exchange for a product. I’ve noticed that you have mentioned pleasuring your partner multiple times, and I think we have items that might make things even more fun.

She went on a bit more, but you get the idea.

In short, I’ve agreed to post reviews in exchange for stuff. This isn’t the first time I’ve been contacted for this kind of thing, but it was the first time the person doing the contacting sounded like they actually read the blog and found the content engaging (as opposed to the “Dear [inster blogger name]” kind of stuff). Also, EF is my favorite adult toy site and the first place I look for new things. They have a terrific assortment toys, though not necessarily of fetish items (for the hard-core stuff, I like Stockroom — also because their models are hot), and the actual site is a joy to use. My favorite feature is the “view actual size” option they have on many items. You move a little slider until the on-screen image of a credit card or end of a $20 bill matches a real one to get a very accurate idea of whether or not the item you’re thinking about will really fit up your ass (or other orifice of your choice). I make websites for a living and am a harsh critic of lousy ones. EdenFantasys.com is awesome.

They also really seem to give a shit about the community they sell to. They have a ton of content on their site, from extensive video reviews to blogs to an actual magazine with real articles and everything. Yes, they’re obviously trying to make a buck off us, but they’re also really into what they do and it shows.

And that’s why I’m very excited to enter into a relationship with them. If all I was going to get was free dildos and stuff, I wouldn’t do it. As a blogger, all I really have is my reputation. The brands I choose to associate with will obviously affect that. I have no problem whatsoever associating with EdenFantasys.

And no, the preceding three paragraphs are not part of the deal. I wrote all that because I wanted to.

In the future, if I’m reviewing something I got for free, I will be crystal clear about it. I still have a few things I want to write about with regard to various toys and I’m sure there’ll be more like that in the future. In those cases, it will also be clear that I bought them just like anyone else. Also, if I don’t like something I get for free, I’ll be honest about it and won’t just say something good to keep the gravy train running. Promise.

With that, I’ll close this missive. There are more things for me to say (like, for example, the fact that Belle let me come last night), but the day’s a-wastin’.

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Mailbag

A reader calling himself Dave sent in the following via the feedback page:

A comment and a couple of questions… I don’t know how you find the pics for the portfolio, but you get the most stunning collection of ‘art’ porn I have seen. Very nice.

Thanks. The Portfolio is a distillation of over 200 other Tumblr sites dedicated to the distribution of smutty pictures. I go through them and select the ones I think best represent my editorial vision for the collection. The only hard and fast rule I have is that no guys will ever be shown either having an orgasm or immediately afterward. Dripping is fine, but if I don’t get to come, then neither do they. I tend to shy away from pictures where women appear to be being objectified in a standard, boring way and prefer images where she’s shown as the center of attention. I like the boys as much as the girls and like the more obvious female domination shots, but find most to not have the aesthetic I want. Basically, I’m nothing more than a curator of my specific view of what’s floating around the Tumblosphere. I’m glad you like it!

Now the questions. I have a desire to go into long term chastity (just need someone to act as the keyholder) but:

A keyholder is not technically required, but personally, I don’t think I’d do this unless there was another person participating. Good luck to you on finding that special someone.

1. how do you keep your balls shaved while locked up? Just looks ‘problematic’

Oh, it can be. Some hair just can’t be gotten to with the device on, but I’ve become adept at pulling skin around and shaving off what I can. The trick is using a razor blade that’s too dull for your beard but still has enough edge to cut the hair. If you grow hair on your shaft as I do, there’s not a hell of a lot that can be done about that.

2. I have been told that long term chastity can be detrimental for a man.. that we need to be ‘drained’ every now and then or it can cause prostate problems. Old wive’s tale? I presume you have done some research in this regard.

I think that’s a largely overblown issue. Our bodies are already designed to eliminate fluids from the prostate (some men have nocturnal emissions, for instance, though I never have). Personally, I’ve found that I drip precum pretty freely and will also expel seminal fluid while going to the bathroom (both number one and number two, if you must know). I am not a doctor, obviously, but am firmly in the camp that all the evidence out there is contradictory and inconclusive. In my opinion, there is no well-documented need for a man to be “drained” and, all other things being healthy and functioning, should be able to go without orgasm indefinitely.

PS.. love the blog.. would love to sit down with you over a  few beers and have a looong chat.

I love having the blog as an outlet and the being able to interact with the readers like this and on the Chastity Forums, but yeah, I do have a deep longing to actually talk to others about this. A few beers and long chat sounds great to me, too (though based on your IP address, the flight over would be annoyingly long).

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Squeaky clean

Air travel stinks. I was talking to my coworkers as we flew back yesterday and one of them remarked that when she was young her family dressed up to fly. How it was such a big deal. Now, planes are nothing more than busses with wings. Endless charges for such luxuries as baggage and rude attendants and knees pushed up into your chin for three hours. Man, I’ve had it.

Anyway, I’m back home. Finally. Night before I left, even with a numb dick, I couldn’t fall asleep. It was a combination of being really horned up and having had a glass of iced tea with dinner. That little extra jolt of caffeine mixed with the hormones kept me up to four in the morning so I got maybe two or three hours of sleep. The tossing and turning went on so long, the feeling came back to the cock and in my delirious half sleep, half awake state, my hand found it again and again. I’d edge myself then control would come back and I’d roll over only to find my fevered brain reinserting all kinds of pornographic thoughts before me and the cock would swell and the whole thing would start over again. I knew that if I just came I’d likely fall asleep quickly, but I resisted the best I could. It was one of the hardest evenings of orgasm control I’ve had in a while. The barrier between pre and post orgasm was membrane thin and, by the time I pulled up and stopped stroking, I was leaking great quantities of ejaculate. I didn’t get the tingly sensation of orgasm and the thoughts and desires came back quickly enough for me to know it wasn’t an orgasm, but it was a very close scare. In the future, even if Belle lets me go to these things unprotected, I should probably bring the Steelheart along for those times I feel I’m losing control. When it’s in place, even if I hold my own key, the Rule of Law descends and my relationship with the cock changes completely.

Got home well after Belle went to sleep last night so I’m still free. I took the opportunity to clean out the Steelheart tube thoroughly this morning. I find that when I’m locked into it for weeks at a time (as I just was – essentially a month), a type of build-up appears at the end of the tube. It appears to be some kind of mineral-type stuff that I assume is left there by frequent contact with urine. It clings to the steel and can’t be cleaned out with soap and water, but I’ve found soaking the tube in a vinegar bath loosens it up enough that it can be wiped out.

I took the opportunity afterwards to take the above picture. I shows how tight things are in the end the tube with the PA fixing and 4 gauge ring. All that squished with the penis meat into a 2.5″ long steel cage. Time will tell when the meat is again so squished. Belle’s given me no indication when she wants it back in there.

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Biking

I went for my first bike ride of the season this past weekend. Just over 13 miles in my spandexish bib bike shorts and the Steelheart. For whatever reason, I didn’t bike much at all last year and can’t remember ever doing it in the steel before, but, since it’s an often-asked question, I can report that it was no problem whatsoever. The compact, less obvious shape of the Steelheart Short was not an issue. The crotch is padded for comfort and that helped hide the tube, though the material directly above the padding was thin enough to clearly show the locking mechanism. Not just the shape, but also the steel. Since I wear a shirt over the bibs, it was well hidden.

Before starting, I lubed up quite a bit and found it was much more comfortable than the CB6K. Not only did the steel not cause any chafing around the scrotum, but the shorter, more downward pointing tube didn’t get pushed back into my pelvis as much. I did find that the entire device rotated so that the tube was pointing to the right and almost perpendicular to its usual position, but that was easily adjusted and didn’t cause any discomfort. The one bad thing I did discover, though, is that I need to sit up slightly in the seat when going over rough bumps (or, alternatively, rotate my hips back a bit). At one point, the tube was in direct contact with the seat and the PA ring was being held in direct contact with the tube so that when I went over a particularly jarring bump, all that force was communicated perfectly from the wheels to the little bit of flesh between my piercing and urethral opening. Oh. My. Gawd, did that hurt. Just the once, though, and now I know better. No lingering damage was sustained.

In other news, yesterday marked the end of my first orgasmless month. Well, four weeks, anyway. Twenty-eight days down, 140-some to go. During those 28 days, I was locked up for all but two and a halfish of them (for travel). I told Belle I felt like I needed a little attention outside the tube. Either direct teasing or being tied up and beaten or just beaten. Something. I’m feeling a little disconnected at the moment. She let me make her come Saturday and that was very nice, but I didn’t see her for two whole weeks and every time she touches me in even half-hearted and innocent ways, I feel a shock and low thrum deep inside. It seems to me that in these few days since she’s come back and is going through the jet lag thing that she’d really rather not have anything at all to do with me. I guess that’s to be expected, but in my state, it’s difficult to deal with. I find the denial and the being locked up makes me a lot more sensitive to her attention (or lack of) and emotional as a result. If I weren’t worried about being called sexist or genderist or some other ist I might say living the way I do makes me act more like a stereotypical woman than a man, but I’d hate to be called any kind of ist, so I won’t say that.

Also found out that I’ll be unexpected travelling for business next week. I will leave it entirely up to Belle to decide what my state will be while gone. No suggestions or anything from me. Whatever she wants. Either I’ll be free as a bird (with clipped wings) or locked like last time.

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No cheating

We’re travelling today so I need to come out. The plan was for me to pop the seal on my emergency key and then reseal it when we get back on Monday (and, in between, put the device back on). I wanted to be able to demonstrate conclusively that I did not release the meat prior to our departure, so I made the following video. Nerdy, true. Obsessive compulsive, maybe. But, no one can accuse me of cheating.

[wpvideo sQO50L0W]

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Weekend nerdery

Reader OzCub left the following comment in reply to my last HNThumper. My reply started to get pretty long, so I decided to make a full post out of it.

Your blog has really sold me on the steelheart device. Problem is – I’ve never worn any device before. I’ve seen it recommended elsewhere that you should probably start with a more flexible/adaptable device like a CB6000 or a Birdlock. What are your thoughts on that?

Also I’m planning on getting a PA done because I think it would suit my cock. In your opinion, would it be better to sort that out before I even consider delving into chastity? Or can it come later (so to speak)?

Yes, I think it’s probably best for for someone new to enforced chastity to start with CB6K (I have no experience with a Birdlock, but based on what I’ve read of Tom’s and Aarkey’s experience [part 1 and 2], I wouldn’t recommend it). There are two reasons to start with a CB6K. First, with a relatively low investment, you can figure out if locking your cock into a hard tube is something that flips your trigger. Sure, reading about it can be hot, but there’s a lot of stuff that turns me on when I read it that I’d never want to do in real life. Chastity could be that way for you, too. A hundred and fifty bucks and a few weeks can answer the question for good.

The second reason the CB6K is a good way to start regards fit. Not so much the tube or cage portion because I’m now convinced that that needs to be approximately the same size as your normally flaccid penis (erring on the shorter side). It sounds totally unintuitive, but the less room it has to grow the more comfortable the device will be in the long run. Keeping that in mind, you might want to consider the CB6Ks. The other critical element in fitting a device is the cuff ring. I know from experience that the ring I could barely wear on day one would be ridiculously large on me now. The body adjusts over time and, eventually, you will probably find yourself in a ring that’s not a lot bigger around than the shaft of your erect cock. Unless you’re willing to get a custom steel device with multiple cuff rings or are willing to replace one with another later on (probably requiring you to send the whole device back for several weeks), the CB6K is a good way to get used to the constriction and let your nutsack stretch a bit. Once you settle in to a ring that works for you, the move to metal will probably mean dropping down to a slightly smaller one. At least, that’s how it worked in my experience.

Regarding rings and sizing, I know Mature Metal will send you some for fit, but I’ve never done that. I’m not sure how that’d work since a ring without a tube or cage is just a cock ring and I know that the smallest cock ring I can stand is actually bigger than the cuff ring I’ve got on at the moment. I think since the tube keeps the cock from getting fully erect that the ring can be smaller. Maybe someone who’s done that can leave a comment on how well it worked. In any event, a smaller ring means less weight, bulk, and, at least for me, greater comfort day in and day out and higher security. However, as I’ve already driven into the ground, I’m not super impressed with MM’s quality and design (though they have many fans in the community – I think I’m in the minority on that). You said you’re already settled on a Steelheart, so maybe that doesn’t really matter to you.

I seriously doubt you’ll regret getting the Prince Albert. I think they’re really hot. Plus, when you get the chance to jack off with them, the sensation can be fucking fantastic. Plus plus, of course, their utility with regard to chastity security is quite high. Were I to do it all over again, I’d probably have gotten the PA first. Waiting for it to be totally healed will make wearing it in a device a lot less of a hassle and you can always stretch up to larger gauges while it’s locked up. You’ll probably start at an 8 (or maybe a 10) and eventually work up to a 6 or a 4. From initial piercing to 4ga is at most a 3 month process. You’ll want to wait at least 30 days before you lock up a new PA. If you start chastity first and then get the piercing, it’ll just mean interrupting the chastity for a month. That’s what I did and it was a pain.

Good luck!

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While the pussy’s away…

Belle leaves tomorrow. She’ll be on the other side of the world for two weeks. Sucks.

Normally, the cock would be secured during her absence, but smack in the middle of her trip, the kids and I are flying to see Grandma in Vegas. So, obviously, the SH-S will need to come off due to national security concerns. For me, this is a tricky thing because I could just say I need to be out for four days because of travel and leave it at that, but I know (don’t I) that I really only need to be out for a few hours on the two days I’m travelling. If I stay out the whole time, I’ll feel like I’m cheating. Also, I know temptation will be too great to avoid unauthorized diddling with the merchandise. So, the plan at the moment is to stay locked up until Friday morning when I’ll pop my emergency key and take the device off for the flight. As soon as makes sense on the other end, I’ll put it back on until Monday when we fly home.

Once home, I would, theoretically, have access to a free key. That’s not going to work for me. I can be trusted, but keeping the key secure is hotter for the same reason using the PA fixing is. The further away access to the cock is, the better.

As you can see, the current security tab in the keysafe is number 553. That’ll be broken on Friday and replaced with 543 on Monday. I’ll post a picture here of the locked device and the keysafe with 543 in place as soon as I’m resecured. Cheating will be impossible (even if it is also very unlikely).

It’s typically the case that Belle lets me pleasure myself in ways unrelated to the cock while she’s gone. She hasn’t yet given me the word, but assuming it’s coming, I’ve obtained a new toy. Well, actually I’ve replaced an old one. Back with I was single and young, my roommate had a porn tape starring Jeff Stryker. I have absolutely no idea what it was called, but the story line involved Jeff’s character being locked up in jail for an ill-defined offense. Once there, of course, he fucked just about everything with his quite impressing cock. There were a couple of scenes in particular I liked. The first was his check-in at the jail where the guard made him strip, turn around, and spread his cheeks. Jeff always played the top (at least in the stuff I saw him in) so to see him have to submit to authority like that was really sexy. There was another scene with him in a supply closet where he totally dominated another prisoner and yet another in his cell where he fucked a guard. Really hot movie. Pretty sure, between the two of us, that my roommate and I wore that tape out. (Edited to add that after spending about five minutes on the Google, I think the movie in question was called Powertool.)

In any event, the reason I bring it up is when I started buying my own sex toys one of the first I got was a “realistic” Jeff Stryker dildo. It looked like Jeff’s cock, but man. It was so big. And yeah, his cock was big, but I don’t remember it being that big. Regardless, I certainly got my money’s worth over the years with that thing. It was big, but just big enough so that I could really get going with it and not feel like I was about to injure myself. Also, I liked that the first half was fatter than the lower half. Interesting sensation, that. Pull out and feel yourself stretch, push in and feel yourself fill up.

Blah blah blah. Fast forward about 20 years and I received a brand new Jeff Stryker realistic dildo in the mail yesterday. Assuming I get the customary permission to abuse myself in Belle’s absence, I’ll post a review here on the blog. Will Jeff’s giant schlong be as great as I remember? How will my 43 year old ass deal with it? These questions and more will be answered…as long as Belle gives me permission to find out.