Category: Chastity Nerdery

Those posts where I (mostly) drone on endlessly about living in enforced chastity.

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Option 4

Mykey said, in response to my suggestion that Belle could punish me with an extension of my denial:

Can’t see the denial working. Belle doesn’t like that control not being hers, as you’ve found when trying fixed long periods before.

If I had suggested the denial extension and Belle had said, “Oh, yeah, good idea. We’ll do that,” then I’d agree with you. It’s why I’m hesitant to suggest these things. Whose idea is this, anyway? But, Belle told me last night that “option four” was one of the ways she’s been considering that I be punished, so it’s not my idea. Also, since she came up with it and has chosen how much extra time will be added to my denial, it is her control. Before when we’ve done “extended denial” the periods were always somewhat arbitrary. Not so this time.

She told me this morning that I won’t come again until December. That’s about a one month extension, but since it was only “November” before and now it’s just “December” we could be looking at up to two extra months, depending on timing. In any event, it’s possible I’ll only come one more time this year. If it happens in the middle of December sometime, then I’ll have gone four months between orgasms. The longest I’ve gone before that was a hair under three months.

I mentioned yesterday that I moved back to the 45 mm cuff ring due to a nasty hot spot under the 40 mm ring. There is, of course, no difference at all with regard to security since the device is still affixed to me by my PA piercing and cannot be removed, but the looser ring makes it feel as though it’s not as secure. Getting it on was a total breeze. I am now able to report with certainty that my testicles are bigger around than 40 mm but smaller than 45 mm. In fact, they more or less fell through the larger ring. No wincing whatsoever. I was interested in how it’d feel overnight, but I can’t tell you. I wasn’t awaked at 4:00 as usual. Not even a little. I slept through all the nocturnal hydraulics. I guess that’s a good thing, but I have to admit that it kinda feels like cheating.

The healing is coming right along so I’ll stay in the 45 mm for the time being. Who knows. Maybe it’ll be the way I go from now on.

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Buying advice

Since I just got back from my last week-long camping and hiking extravaganza of the year, I really don’t have much to blog about. Luckily, I received a question via the feedback page and have decided I could cheat my way into having a post by answering it here.

Reader Chris says…

I am planning to order a Steelheart device and have used your blog as a primary resource on learning about it’s pros and cons.

I appear to be similarly equipped (endowed?) as you (although no PA piercing) and use similar settings in my CB-6000. Although I use the second smallest spacer and the middle sized ring. (I think you use the smallest spacer instead)

Back in the day, yes I did.

 I am pretty sure that I want the 35mm wide tube and the 42mm a-ring.

I’m also certain that I want the integrated lock.

I have a few questions for you if you don’t mind:

1) Your SH-S is 70mm… the longest available steelheart length is 105mm, which is roughly the same the cb-6000. I’d like something smaller in length than the CB-6000 but don’t wish to encounter any nocturnal pain (pain which you dont seem to mind so long as tolerable)…

What length do you feel would provide the better fit w.out the night time discomfort you get using the 70mm tube? I’m thinking 85 – 90mm… thoughts?

In my experience, having a tube that arrests the erection at a size as close to the penis’ flaccid length as possible is more comfortable than one that allows it to reach half-mast. However, the more the erection is compressed, the more pressure is placed on the cuff ring. Were I to do it over, I would have ordered a tube that was perhaps even a little shorter than the SH-S tube (70mm). I do need a little extra space in there for the PA and fixing hardware, but I bet I could lose 3-5mm as still be good.

In short, I think the nocturnal pain is more a function of the ring, not the tube, and shorter tubes tend to be better than longer ones.

2) the extra tube ring added for comfort… you mentioned that it occasionally causes discomfort, lol. Do you still recommend the extra feature? I see you have it on both steelheart tubes that you’ve ordered

The weld holding the “comfort” ring on is the culprit. I wish Dietmar would not place it at the bottom of the tube where the pressures between the erection and the thin skin attaching it to the scrotum is the greatest. Perhaps two offset a centimeter or so in each direction would be better, but I don’t know for sure. I’ve ordered both my tubes with that ring because I suspect the thinner, relatively sharp edge of the tube by itself would be problematic. I would advise getting it but seeing if Dietmar could either ensure the weld is very smooth or offset it as I described.

3) I can’t stand the idea of squishing the boys through a solid ring so I plan to order the Bipartite ring instead (http://steelworxx.de/Bipartite-A-Ring-for-all-cb-47p.html ). Any experience with such a ring and/or any opinions?

From my experience with the CB6K, I think any nook or cranny is a problem, especially when on the ring. I think having it hinged is asking for problems. Popping my nuts though the ring has become a bit more twingy lately as I think they’re larger than they used to be, but it’s a very fleeting sensation and way worth not getting any hot spots from a hinge. I would not pay extra for that feature.

4) Finally, any other advice of any kind that you feel will help me in ordering the best device is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time… and your blog!

I think your wearing the CB6K first is the right approach. As I’ve said before, it’s not a perfect analog to moving to steel, but it helps get you in the ballpark from a sizing perspective and allows your body to adjust and “settle in” to what it probably your true size. You don’t say how long you’ve worn the CB6K, but I’m assuming it’s been long enough that you started at a larger sized ring and spacer and moved down over time.

I also think when buying custom steel, you need to prepare yourself for the likelihood that at least part of it will need to be adjusted after you wear it. I had a too large ring and tube, though only the ring was immediately obvious to me. Based on what I read in the experiences of others, it seems like 30-50% of guys will replace a piece within a few months and north of 75% will replace another chunk or even order an entirely new device after a year or so.

Good luck! Moving to steel was the best thing we’ve done with regard to chastity play. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

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Pictures don’t lie

I had to go into enforced chastity’s no man’s land today: The other side of airport security. Belle, who’s in NYC, didn’t want to let me stay out any longer than necessary. Therefore, I’m posting this photographic evidence that I am back in and locked up.

Before:

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After:

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Note the date (on the paper and of this post), the numbers on the locks, and their condition in each picture.

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Wicked pincher

Back in the can today. I woke up and the little annoyed spot was 86% healed. Not sure what it is about the skin in that area of the body, but is seems to put itself right faster than other skin.

So, I worked out this morning all free and floppy (figured there was no reason to make stuff grind down there any more than necessary), showered without rubbing for the genie (bonus points should be awarded), and locked the device back into place so I could greet the day in the manner in which I have become accustomed.

All great, right? Wrong! I’m in my first meeting of the day and start to feel an odd little twinge from the area where the bottom of the penis joins with the scrotum. There might be a name for that little bit but Wikipedia is failing me. So anyway, I slyly shift my seating position and give the device a little shove in order to unpinch whatever little bit is being squished. No luck. The odd little twinge starts to grow a bit more insistent and I start to shift in my seat in a vain attempt to sort it out. Again, no luck.

It’s at this point that the sensible part of my brain (the one I clearly inherited from my mother who is nothing if not a picture of Midwestern sensible) starts berating the rest of my brain for thinking this whole chastity thing is hot. The meeting over, I retreat to my office and reach not so subtly down my pants to pull the whole device away from my body. This is often a way to “reset” whatever little bits of skin have become trapped by whatever little bits of steel.

Fucking hell, that hurt! Jesus! I’ve never actaully felt anything like that. A strong, intense burning from that otherwise nameless intersection of tender male parts. I frantically started rooting though my bag looking for the emergency key, but as soon as I start I know I won’t find it. It’s safely nestled in my nightstand drawer where it’s been for months. FUCK.

I retreated further to the server room. It has a lock on the door and is infrequently entered. Once behind the door, I pulled down my pants to do a visual on the tortured meat. Lifting up the tube to get a look at the spot sends such an intense stab of eye-watering pain that my knees almost buckled. It’s so bad I halfway expect to see blood. How could there not be? But there isn’t.

After more gingerly approaching the lifting (actually, more pushing the nuts out of the way than lifting of the tube), what I see instead is a little ball of penis skin trapped somehow under the edge of the tube right at the base of the penis. I’ve never ever seen this. Nor do I have any idea why it’s trapped, but the trapped skin has turned white from the stress of the pinch. Without a key and with no ability to reach down to that part of the device on the inside, I started to pull the device away from me while simultaneously trying to work the shaft back with my other hand, pulling the skin on the very flaccid little member from the top hoping to free it on the bottom. It was a motion similar to what I’d do if I was trying to pull out, but of course, that’s impossible. All I wanted to do was free the pinched bit.

I can’t say why it was pinched or what caused it to be so stubborn in getting itself unpinched but I know the very nanosecond it got free. I felt a cool wave of relief wash over me starting at my shoulders, going up over my head, and down my front. And just like that, the pain was gone. The Wicked Pinch of 2011 was no more.

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Hot spot

I’m enjoying a temporary reprieve from isolated confinement thanks to a small hot spot that popped up under my scrotum. It’s in a weird location (as in, I don’t normally have problems there) and is reminiscent of the issues I used to have with the plastic CB6K. I suspect it’s from going to bed one night sans lube. In any event, I got out this morning and will probably be OK to go back in tomorrow.

Later in the week, Belle goes out of town again, so at a minimum, I’ll be secured for that. I mentioned in an off-handed kind of way that could leave me out for the duration of her trip, but the idea was not met with much enthusiasm. One tricky bit will be on Thursday when I need to go though airport security. I’m not flying, but my kid is, so I need to escort him through to the gate and wait with him. This’ll mean I have to go though the deal of breaking my emergency key out the day of and then resecuring both the penis and the spare key when I get home. I’ll be posting those images here along with a clear view of the number of the plastic tab holding the key in its housing. Trust but verify, as a former president used to say.

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Wedge relief

Belle finally wanted some action this morning. We were laying in bed being lazy and she said those magic words.

Just in time, too. The continued absence of my ability to pleasure her was starting to eat away at me. It actually seemed like a physical thing wedged between us. I will say it for the hundredth time, if I can’t turn my sexual energy towards myself, then I need to put it somewhere. If she’s unavailable, then it all curdles inside and I get grumpy and depressed. There just isn’t enough of that frisson I was talking about the other day to keep my furnaces stoked from being denied both my own pleasure and hers. She played it as best she could, but a few more days of it and I would have gone south big time. Even though I felt very far away from wanting to do it at the moment she said I could, it was seconds before all the boards lit up across my body. I did so desperately want her.

I tried to savor the opportunity and go as slowly as possible. While playing with her nipples, I climbed up on top of her and pressed the steel against her pussy. All around I could feel it’s heat but not on the penis itself locked away in the sensory deprivation chamber. I reached down and rubbed the short hard tube in and around her lips like I used to do in the old days before it was between us, but could feel nothing whatsoever where it counted. The sensation of feeling my thighs inside hers, my stomach on hers, my chest against her breasts and the taste of her mouth in mine all at the same time caused a strong pang of loss to erupt in my groins. I wanted in her so bad. I wanted the penis to feel hot and wet. I wanted to fuck like it was still a cock.

I got lost in the moment and Belle had to remind me what the point of the exercise was. Regretfully and with great effort, I moved down until my face was buried between her legs. I lapped and sucked like a starving man until she came with such intensity that she pushed my face away so I didn’t get to feel the orgasm flash through her pussy with my tongue. As she basked, I laid my face right inside her wet pubs and breathed in the singular scent of a woman. When it was time to go, I anointed myself with her pheromones. I could still catch little whiffs up until the time I showered.

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A little Friday nerdery

I decided yesterday to go commando. I hardly ever go to work or into the world like this anymore, but yesterday was warm and I was wearing roomy, breezy shorts and the muse moved me. While getting dressed, I simply left the underwear on the bed.

Once I got to work, I was walking across the parking lot toward the building and enjoying the stiff breeze blowing against me. The really hot weather had moved out the night before and the cool front was kicking up the atmosphere a bit. After I got about three-quarters of the way across, I realized that the wind was pressing my clothing to my body and, as I walked, the perfectly clear outline of my tube was plainly visible, rocking back and forth with the motion of my legs, under the thin fabric of my shorts. There were others around and about the doorway and in the lot, but I can’t say who saw what (if anything). So…commandos beware. It didn’t stop me from doing it again today, though.

I woke up last night with some nasty pinching at the end of the tube. In my rush to get back in, I neglected to replace my chunky 4ga PA ring with the space-saving 8ga ring I usually use in the device. That was a mistake and one I’ve made before. I’d get up and walk around to bring the swelling down only to crawl back into bed and find myself in the same spot 15 minutes later after I fell back asleep and the nocturnal hydraulics kicked back in. I could have popped my key (had I woken up Belle, I would have been in trouble), but toughed it out until this morning when I asked Belle if I could borrow hers.

As I took the tube off, I found the insides to be coated with slimy precum leakage. A strong whiff of male ejaculate wafted up to meet me. I had to act fast as Belle was standing right next to me and her presence (and potential observation) combined with the leakage-induced slipperiness of the meat combined with the generally horny as fuck condition I’ve been in since I got home didn’t leave me a lot of time before the blinking and light-shy penis figured out its shell had been removed. I pried the big ball out of the 4ga ring, removed it, slipped in the thinner ring, snapped in the smaller ball, and got the device reassembled and locked in record time. I felt like one of those guys who can disassemble and reassemble his rifle in the dark. Even now as I sit here and type this, I can feel the difference.

In other nerdery news, I still find the base of my scrotum to be adjusting to the ring again. Even with lube, I’m feeling periods of burning. That might be due to the fact that I’ve had zero support down there for well over 24 hours now. No underwear means the meat has to support the device all the time. Just thought of that. Hmmm…

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The Looker 03

Dietmar has a new toy to drool over. It’s called The Looker 03 and sports a PA “shackle” (damn, but if that’s not a sexy word) that’s reminiscent of a Steelwerks Extreme lock.

I see this and my immediate, visceral reaction is, “Woof!” But I have a few concerns:

  1. The damned thing costs, at current exchange rates (less VAT), $494.
  2. I can’t imagine you’d be able to wear that and pee standing up. The shackle (I just love saying that) goes through the main hole in the half-cup at the tip leaving urine to stream through all the little holes surrounding it and out the back though the piercing (which ends up soaking the scrotum). This thing’s a sprayer (which is not, in and of itself, a bad thing – I’m just sayin’).
  3. Based on my previous experimentation with PA security (both with cables on the CB6K and my PA ring on a special little bar I had added to our Jail Bird), it seems to me that there’d be the opportunity for pinching between where the shackle (there’s that word again) comes out of the piercing and the back of the half-cup (or even between the shackle and the two lateral bottom bars of the cage). I don’t think there’d be the issue with pulling I found with the CB6K+cable because, presumably, this cage would be tailored to my body and there’s be less opportunity for the penis to move back and forth along its length.
  4. Finally, the shackle (fuuuck!) just seems kind of unwieldy. Like it’d get pushed all hither and yon in my underwear and end up pulling on the piercing.

But, goddamn, it’s sexy. I know I’ll be going back and looking at it again and again.

Did I mention it’s got a shackle?!

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Unencumbered penises are so overrated

Belle gave me the key yesterday morning just as she was leaving for the day. I admit I asked for it, but she gave it freely. She left me there in bed (I had the day off and was supposedly sleeping in) so I rolled over to her nightstand drawer and took the Steelheart out of the flowery little drawstring bag she put it in when I left two weeks ago.

Getting the ring on was difficult. For one, I was doing it all by touch under the sheets, but my nuts (which have never popped through the 40mm ring with ease) seemed a bit larger than usual. The wince when the right one went through (the larger of the two) was intense. Then there was the penis. Frankly, it just wouldn’t cooperate. Once I had the nuts though, it was sporting a pretty healthy semi and getting it to follow was a challenge. Once that was accomplished, the hydraulics had simply progressed too far to imagine the tube going on.

I thought this was funny. I’ve put the damned thing on maybe a hundred times now and haven’t found it to be so maddeningly arousing in a long while. Tired of waiting for it to relax (and aware that the ring itself was working against me), I got up and filled a baggy with ice cubes. Getting to the freezer from the bedroom and then back to the bathroom was tricky since by that point the penis was tenting out my pajama bottoms pretty well. I had to hook the head of the thing into the waistband so it wouldn’t flop all over. I thought that by walking around, getting the baggy, getting the ice, etc, it’d go down on its own, but no dice. It and I knew what was going on and about to happen. In the bathroom I left the ice on it so long it got numb, but didn’t really go down all that much. It took a really long time, but finally it was soft enough to push the tube on and squish the recalcitrant penis meat down into it. Once the lock was in place, it tried to get hard, but of course couldn’t. Neener, neener! Gotcha!

I’ve said before how wearing a device all the time stretches out your nutsack. Well, it’s apparently the case that the stretching is not permanent because for the rest of the day it burned at the base of the ring. I lubed it several times but could always feel it pulling on the skin. Today, it seems as though my scrotum is broken back in.

Unsurprisingly, the 4:00 AM wake-up call from down below felt exquisite. I got up to relieve myself as usual (takes the worst of the edge off the compression), but absolutely reveled in the feeling of being confined when I got back to bed. I reached out to her sleeping form and laid my hand on her arm. Everything had returned to normal.

Yeah, I got it bad.

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Just under the wire

OK, so maybe I will squeeze in one more post before I’m out of here…

Regarding the Jail Bird, it’s not going to happen. Aware that I’ve never been able to stay in that device for more than a few days without developing significant discomfort and suspecting that it’s likely a fit and spacing issue, I decided to try something I read about on Chastity Forums. Not sure who it was that did it, but they were able to create a little extra space between the bottom of the cage and the A-ring by slightly bending the post upward. I tried this yesterday afternoon and the post promptly snapped off. I don’t know much about metal work (whereby “not much” I mean “pretty much nothing”), but I thought welding would create a stronger bond between two pieces of metal. So now, if I ever want to wear the JB again, I’ll need a new A-ring. Which I probably needed anyway.

And, as I’ve been harping on, this now means I’ll be unsecured for the duration of the trip. Belle does not want me in the Steelheart and I guess I understand. Regardless of understanding, it’s her decision. It doesn’t help that I’m in that golden sweet spot where the device and I feel fused and there’s little to no discomfort and I’m even sleeping through the early morning tightness and find it creates a comforting sense of security rather than being something I need to endure. I don’t know if when this happens that anything physical has changed or if it’s all in my head, but I’ve even found myself, when waking with a fantastically full and tight tube, flexing the penis in order to feel more tightness and constriction. As with so many other things, my level of tolerance increases over time.

It’s not like I’ll have ample opportunity to take advantage of my temporary freedom, but I really don’t trust my hand and the penis together unattended even for short periods. There will be little moments (and the chance for several hot, soapy showers in hotels on the way there and back) and, of course, every morning it’ll be all perky and proud and asking for attention. Thing is, when you’re a man in my condition, you end up thinking about what’s in your crotch an awful lot regardless of its state. However, it’s an entirely different flavor of obsession when a healthy ribbon of opportunity is swirled though it. I will try to be strong. Upon return, I will no doubt be anxious for Belle to put me back in.

Belle and I chatted a bit last night about some of the recent blog posts. She’s mad at me (or trying to be) for taking the device off without her knowledge (though I strongly disagree I did it out of spite, as she suggests). While I took it off, I also put it back on, so I feel like I should get some points for that. Also, we talked about my reaction to being belittled, humiliated, made fun of, etc. She says she can’t really see herself humiliating me, but is OK with belittling me. I don’t see much of a difference, but if she can find it in her heart to make fun of me every once in a while, I’ll be happy.

In a related development, I’ve decided to update Thumper’s Rules of Usage and Style regarding how I refer to the sex organ attached my body. It’s clearly established that I never refer to it possessively (it’s not “mine”). I either refer to it as a separate object (i.e., the sex organ) or as hers (though I tend to favor the former style because the latter can be confusing to new readers – “Wait a sec. She had a cock?”). I have typically called it a cock but have just decided to no longer use that word. To me, “cock” implies something unrelated to me or it. A “cock” is an aggressive, action-oriented thing meant for fucking. An in-your-face kind of tool that’s been designed for erect penetration. My little piece of meat doesn’t do any of that. It’s very seldom any longer than the 2.75″ allowed by the Steelheart. From the outside, it never seems to change at all, regardless of how I’m feeling or how much pleasure Belle’s letting me give her. It certainly has practically nothing to do with Belle’s pleasure like a cock would. The only time it gets to be inside her is when she’s giving me one of my infrequent orgasms. Last two times it happened, I’m not even sure she had her top off. It may give her emotional pleasure to let me orgasm, but the act itself doesn’t provide much sexual pleasure for her. The thing’s roll has been demoted to little more than an instrument of prostate maintenance. There’s no aggression down there and certainly little action. It’s not a cock at all. It’s just a penis. And that’s what I’ll be calling it from now on.

I can almost hear eyeballs rolling in some sockets from here, but it’s my blog and I can call it whatever I want. So there. At the end of the day, for me, words have significant value and power. Thinking of it as just a penis strongly resonates with my submissive core. Thinking of it as a little penis just about makes me swoon.

So, finally, this is the last post I’ll make until I’m out of the woods sometime after the 17th or so. As I said yesterday, there’s an HNThumper loaded up for next Thursday, but that’ll be all. I might be able to reply to comments depending on access to cell reception. We’ll see.