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A token’s worth

The good news is I didn’t lose control of myself yesterday. Yes, there was good deal of self-abuse and I enjoyed myself very much, but I never quite crossed the line into orgasm. I got right up to the line, but didn’t tumble over.

The interesting bit regarding that is the internal conversation that takes place in the moment of trying to stop whatever it is I’m doing in time to avoid the inevitable. It’s like, “I’m getting really close, I’m getting really close, I’mgettingreallyclose…STOP! Stop, stop, stop!!” And everything grinds to a halt. But in those moments of “I’m getting really close” recognition, there’s this other voice interjecting it’s own agenda.

“I’m getting really close.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I’m getting reeeally close.”

“I know. It’s no big deal. You can go further.”

“I’m getting really, really, really close!”

“OK, just think for a minute. Should you stop? I mean, honestly? Imagine how good it’ll feel if…”

“STOP! Stop, stop, stop!!”

“Goddamn it.”

The ancient reptile part of my brain conspires with whichever little bits of my higher brain are against this whole orgasm denial thing – not in order to talk me out of stopping, but to distract me for just a tiny bit at the end when I’m so close that even a second’s worth of dithering will mean I go over the falls and squirt violently all over the place. I was there four or five times yesterday but it wasn’t until the last two that things got dangerous. Both times I stopped in time to avoid the internal fireworks, but not in time to avoid ejaculation. So, if nothing else, I’m well milked.

Having the cock as a member of my little party was highly unusual. I’d pull up just in time and look down at it all shiny and slick and it, in turn, looked back up. It doesn’t have a face, but it’s distain for me was apparent.

“Oh, just fucking do it, already!” Throb. Squirt. Throb. Bob.

But no. I didn’t. I did exactly what I was allowed to do and no more. And before anyone thinks of ripping me a new one for my prolonged masturbatory indulgence, remember I had permission.

Afterward, I took a shower and decided it would be best if I put the Steelheart back on, but the 5:00 hot spot I talked about yesterday was still pretty hot. Belle inspected the situation last night before sleep and said she’d give it another 24 hours to heal. I enjoyed my freedom and still hope she might want to take advantage of the situation for herself somehow, but honestly, the distraction of having a cock I can reach down and touch, with real hard erections and everything, is almost too much for me to handle. I will be grateful to be shut off from it again.

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Hot spots

Imagine we’re facing each other and I’m naked. Yes, I know, it’d be an incredibly surprising situation for either of us to be in, but I’ve put us there to help illustrate something.

So, we’re facing each other and I’m naked. If you were to look at the cock (go ahead, look – Belle won’t mind), you might be able to see, in about the 10:00 position, a irritated line about an inch long curving around the top of the scrotum. Also, down below (where you can’t see, unless you ask me to lift my balls) is another little spot at about the 5:00 position. Both of these were caused by the Jail Bird’s tight ring. I switched back to the Steelheart but was only able to wear it for a day until those two hot spots forced me out. They hurt.

Interestingly, they appeared after I had been able to wear the JB for a week. I had started to get used to it’s insistent grip so that at night, when all the plumbing is at it’s highest pressure, the bad kind of pain was starting to wane. I had thought I’d be able to wear it until whenever I get the new tube for the Steelheart, but alas, it was not to be. I probably didn’t keep the ring lubricated well enough.

In any event, Belle’s let me out until I’m better or Thursday, whichever comes first. She goes to San Francisco to hang out with her best friend for the weekend. I won’t be left unlocked, of course. Until then, she said she’d check the hot spots every night and, if they looked better, put me back in. Regardless, I go in when she leaves. It’s a nice feeling, that kind of attention to my well-being.

I’m stuck at home today for mundane reasons and, before she left, Belle told me I could consider myself gifted with the Token. That is, I’m allowed to pleasure myself however I want (short of orgasm, naturally). Problem is, there are people in the house doing work at the moment so I’m unable to partake. Also, unlike every other time she’s let me have at myself, this time I have free meat. I’m not sure she’s thought that permission through all the way. I don’t want to come and wouldn’t plan on doing so, but accidents happen, especially in the heat of the moment.

Maybe the strangers hanging around is a good thing.

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Pillow talk

It went something like this…

“I’m horny.”

“I know.”

He grinds into her, pressing the steel cage between their bodies.

“It’s been a long time.”

“A long time?! It’s only been…what? Two and a half weeks?”

Whimper.

“You’ve gone far longer than that, haven’t you?”

Quietly, “Yes.”

The cock in the cage swells.

“You’ve got a long time more to wait.”

Quietly, “I know.”

“Two weeks is a long time for a normal man, but you’re not normal, are you?”

“No.”

“No. You’re more…evolved. Aren’t you?”

Whimper.

“You don’t need to come as often as regular men. Two weeks. That’s nothing for you, is it?”

“No.”

The cock is pretty hard now, but stifled in its prison. Her cock, not his. Right where she wants it to be.

“Maybe you’re getting weak. Maybe we need to push you to new feats of endurance.”

Whimper.

“Stop whining.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He kisses her on her lips. Her full, warm, lips – redolent of all the things he wants but will not get. Not that night.

“Good boy. Now, I’ll let you give me an orgasm.”

“Thank you.”

Whimper (inside).

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HNThumper XXVIII: Caged

One of the things I wanted to know before we got the Jail Bird is how it looked when its contents were stimulated. I had visions of the little side vent holes from the CB6K where flesh looked like extruded Play-Doh pushing though. Not so sexy. Also, more than a little painful at time.

Turns out, it doesn’t look at all like that at all. For those of you who don’t have a Jail Bird (a number that seems to be getting smaller every day), and thanks to the wonders of HNT technology (combined with my alarming lack modesty), you can see for yourself.

Continue reading “HNThumper XXVIII: Caged”

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Talk radio

Chastity Forums member pamdipot sent me a heads up that a local sports talk radio station had a segment regarding male chastity on yesterday. Yes, it turned out about as horribly as you might expect.

Click here to listen.

Ugh.

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Mixed nuts

Over the weekend, Belle let me share a few of her orgasms. Both times I used Pink and both seemed to be really good for her. Pink, by the way, showed up again. We thought we lost her (and why we call a vibrator “her” is beyond me, but that’s what Belle calls her) and ordered a replacement Pink then the old one turned up in a bag of other toys. So now we have two. I’d like to use both at the same time on her, but the opportunity hasn’t presented itself.

In any event, as I was saying, Belle came twice over the weekend. The first one was an unusual morning event on Saturday. I had been pretty worked up the night before and couldn’t sleep so I spent time consuming porn on the iPad. There are more and more iOS-friendly porn sites around now and I’ve found the iPad to be an almost perfect porn consumption device. So yeah, obviously, when you’re too horny to sleep the first thing you should do watch porn, especially when there’s nothing you can do to relieve yourself. But that’s what happens more often than not. A few hours later, after the sun came up, I was feeling Belle come and the cage straining. All that day I felt little burps of precum leak out, no doubt formed the night before and that morning. It’s a weird sensation to be sitting at a table doing something innocent and then feel a slug of clear fluid work its way past my perineum and down the cock.

After she came, I told her how much I wanted to fuck her. I say those things to her not in the hope that she’ll let me, but because I love to hear her tell me I can’t. If she ever did unlock me and let me have at her after I said something like that, I’d probably feel bad. But hearing her say I’m not going to, not for a long time, that I’m not allowed and am in exactly the place I should be, locked and horny and dripping and…and…

Woof.

This is the game we play, right? The “oh god I want to so bad (but not really)” game. I mean, I really do do want to fuck her, but more than that, I want her to tell me I can’t. I want to feel the desire flame and burn in me. I want to feel that I have no control over my own sex. She knows it, I know it. We play the game. It’s pretty awesome, actually.

For whatever reason, I asked her if I could change into the Jail Bird. I wanted to see if I could wear it for the weekend and, when that went OK, I left it on. I’m trying to see if I can tolerate it for a week. So far, so good. Half the nights, it’s been so tight as to wake me up with moderate testicle pain, but the other half of the time, I’ve slept right though it. I think this has more to do with the relative intensity of my nocturnal erections more than anything else. Last night I got up because it was pretty painful only to find everything was so tightly packed I couldn’t even squeeze any piss out. It helps me in moments like those of pain or discomfort to recall her words. I am as she wants me to be. I am how I’m supposed to be. She thinks it’s good for me. And I’m not getting out.

In Steelheart news, I sent my original, larger cuff ring back to Dietmar in the Fatherland in order to fit a smaller tube to it. Both my rings are identical, so what fits the big one will fit the small one, too. It’s totally counter intuitive, but smaller cages seem to make more comfortable chastity devices. The JB is difficult to wear, but the actual cage portion, while significantly smaller than the SH tube, feels really good. Also lighter and easier to carry around in my pants all day. The bitey ring and odd spacing aren’t fun, but the cage is great. I’m really looking forward to getting the smaller SH tube, even though it’ll set us back another $300. We have quite the collection now.

Mailbag
I received the following via the feedback page:

Thanks so much for your really informative website. I am using a CB6000 (started a week ago,) and I really devoured your “tips and tricks”

It has been my biggest fantasy for about 18 years (I’m 36) and I’m so grateful that my wife is happy to give it a try. I am in London, England.

I know you are very busy with your work, your blogs and other things, I wanted to briefly share my first-time experiences and I had a couple of questions to ask you, though, if you had the time. If not, thanks anyway for the all the great blogposts.

I feel kinda bad since this came in during my recent quiet period. I’ve been meaning to get back to him…

Of course the first thing that hits you is the reality that this will require a lot of “getting used to” and working out the right sizes, how to clean, lubricate, etc. On the whole, though, I’m surprised how comfortable it has been.

After fiddling for a few hours, I got it on the first time, with the largest ring. No great discomfort, put it on in the evening, went through the night without any terrible pain. I started with the largest ring and longest spacer. Took it off in the morning.

Went back on the next evening, and stayed on for 72 hours straight, this time went down one ring size. The first night I only slept for a couple of hours (I work v late once a week), but the next 2 nights have been agony, exactly as you described. About 3 times of waking up, really bad pain in all the places you said. I don’t have any problem with my chastity entailing pain & discomfort, but I can’t make it stop whatever position I change in bed.

As soon as I get up and even sit on the toilet (without even urinating) my body kinda “gets the message” and the nocturnal erection dies down. I read what you wrote about the body eventually getting to this etc.

Very familiar. I don’t know how it is for everyone, but I find, even in the Steelheart which is, overall, a very comfortable device and one my body’s grown accustomed to, that I still experience moderate discomfort from time to time. It was much worse with the CB6K and the JB can be quite painful, but there never exists a time when I’m totally comfortable. That’s just how it is.

The question is, how much is too much for you? I found over time that either my body adjusted so what was painful stopped being that way or I just developed a tolerance for it and didn’t feel it as much. Once that happened, I’d push on to smaller rings or spacers. Personally, I like how a tight, close-fitting device feels over a loose one than drops down.

1. My question is, do you think I should go back to the largest ring for the night? I intend to move another size down, to the third largest ring, for daily wear soon – should i persevere through the night with the same ring size as day?

I persevered. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t always fun, but I just pushed on through. It did get better. Make sure you’re reasonably lubed up at night. That’ll help reduce the burn. You could use a larger ring at night, but the swapping back and forth would, I think, get tiresome after a while.

2. Have you ever come across people having a stomach pain with this? When i get an erection in the CB6000, i feel a strong ache in my stomach, near the waist, at the front. It feels like i have pulled a muscle, or have some kind of cramp, not deep inside, like from digestion, but a muscular thing. As soon as the erection is gone, that pain is gone, too. Is that something you’ve felt / heard of?

Yes, I’ve experienced that early on. Not anymore, that I can recall. Can’t remember when it seemed to go away. Or maybe it’s just one of those things I don’t feel anymore. It seems likely that the pain is caused by the fact that what’s normally sticking about six inches outside your body is now being forced to stay inside. It may be that things rearrange themselves eventually or certain bits stretch out, but at least for me, it got better.

BTW if this works out, quite high on the “to-do-list” is to fill the ventholes with something, and to see if i can buy a CB6000S cage.

As I said above, I think smaller cages are better. I’d definitely think about that. I never filled in the vent holes, though I know some who have.

Thanks so much for your time

No problem!

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Just don’t

During my recent week of ridiculous orgasmic bliss, while laying in bed with Belle enjoying the afterglow of maybe the second or third she had let me pull out of myself and onto my hand and stomach, I said something to the effect that all orgasms should be like that. That is, enjoyed in the company of one’s partner.

In the moment – that dopey, sleepy, unfocused moment – it seemed so right. So natural. It was one of those “everybody should be doing it this way” kind of epiphanic visions that those of us who fuck around with our hormones experience from time to time. If the time comes when Belle and I no longer use chastity devices, I think this will be a permanent modification of our lifestyle. It seems like I’ll only ever come with her knowledge and/or permission from now on.

I realize this is skating pretty close to the point of view that it’s men’s “addiction” to masturbation that drives couples apart. I still don’t buy that. Men are not addicted to masturbation. Saying that is like saying they’re addicted to breathing or eating when they get hungry. A man’s reproductive system and the motivation behind his need to orgasm are totally different than a woman’s. It’s kinda like that candy production line Lucy and Ethel worked on where the chocolate keeps coming out, forever and ever, no matter what they do. With age, the line might slow down a bit or even stop, but for the majority of a man’s life, that line just keeps on chugging, driving the desire for release, piling up little chocolates that need to be wrapped.

We know what happens when that cycle is tampered with. I’ve been trying to describe it for the past 2+ years on this blog and I still can’t fully relate what it’s like, but the net result of letting that natural desire for release build (and then attaching it to your partner’s pleasure) can lead to relationship-altering benefits. It’s not all sugar and fairy dust, to be sure, but then again, nothing ever is.

So anyway, back to my moment. I saw that absent a device and absent the partner’s control over the release, another way this could work (and perhaps work just as well) would be to always – and I mean always – come in the company of your partner. Just don’t ever let yourself fall into the lazy trap of disconnecting sexual pleasure from your partner. That’s what happens when men become “addicted” to masturbation. They and their partner allow them (consciously or not) to take the path of least resistance and, after time, a groove gets carved into their brain and it becomes the main way they achieve the release that’s always building within.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Just don’t let it. Just don’t come without them. I guarantee you they will be thrilled by the idea. You don’t need to bring D/s or chastity or any of the “weird kinky shit” into the conversation. Just tell them you never want to have another sexually pleasurable moment without them ever again. They’ll melt.

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Where I am

I’ve received a couple of messages like this one from reader Andy (who’s favorite color is green):

No entries in so long…what’s up? Are you ok?

Yes, I’m OK. Thanks to all who asked.

To recap. Last we spoke, I was unlocked. Belle left me out for the period between Christmas Eve and New Year’s. I think I went back in on the 2nd. Anyway, I had come five times in that week. It was an interesting period for me because, even though I was coming fairly regularly, I didn’t really lose the urge to do so until the fifth time. After that one (which, like the first, happened inside Belle), I was well and truly tapped out.

But the fact that I wanted to come more even after the third and fourth effort and how the urge shut down so completely after the last makes me think there’s a significant mental component to my desire to orgasm. I knew she was going to let me come a lot over a relatively short period of time, so I kept wanting to do it. Also, I knew when the last one had happened and my need for more shut down commensurately.

So anyway, she put me back in the day after the fifth. I did not want that fucking thing on me. I’ve written about this before, but the stupid thing really bummed me out for a while. Four to five days, I’d guess. I was just this big, heavy, clunking thing and I had razor burn behind the ring and it hurt and I was grumpy about it and hated it. And she said she didn’t care. In-the-moment hottness factor of zero, retrospective hottness factor of 8. Then, at some point, I asked her why she put me in it. First, she said, she thought it was sexy. Yes, she now apparently thinks her husband is more sexy with a secure cock than he is with a functioning one. Two, she said she thought it was good for me. I am imprisoned for my own good.

It speaks to how I’m in such a different place now that just writing those last few sentences have filled my tube and caused my heart to pound in my ears. About two weeks in and the hornies have started to come back. I had a hard time falling asleep last night because of how turned on I was and that hasn’t happened since she put me in. That’s a good sign, I suppose. Also, the device has transmogrified back into an extension of me and not some clunky steel thing I have to put up with. That’s always kind of a magical thing, to be honest.

So, as is typical for men in my position, I start to wonder how long I’ll be like this. The Christmas/New Year’s break, while unscheduled, was not entirely unexpected. It was one of those markers on the calendar that seemed like logical points for her to let me out. Birthdays, anniversaries, major religious holidays, etc. But, looking forward, I don’t see another logical release point until our family vacation at the end of March. She hasn’t said anything other than making vague and ominous warnings about “duration records”. I have an overnight business trip in February, but other than that, it’s not looking good for the cock.

There’s where I am. Not bad. Not fantastic, but could be way worse. Thanks again to those who took the time to enquire.

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Fourth quarter, third shot

Belle continued the zone flooding/hard reset regimen and let me come again night before last. We were watching Monday Night Football (can’t believe NO pulled that one out) and, early in the fourth quarter, she said, “Get naked. Then take care of yourself.”

“Do I have a choice?” I was actually kind of sleepy.

“No.” Well. OK, then.

I admit it was a little surreal laying next to her in bed, watching football, jacking off under the covers. Like that’s normal or something. She paid little attention to me and stayed engaged in the game while I pulled on the cock and felt my heavy 4 ga circular barbell flop around in my PA. I don’t usually get to wear that piece since the cock is almost always in a steel tube, so it’s a bit of an extra treat to be out and sporting it. Anyway, even though I’d already come twice in three days, I was able to get it up quickly and found my groove easily. I didn’t waste any time and squirted quietly onto my stomach (being careful to avoid the sheets). She never stirred or said a word. It was like I was clipping my toenails or performing some other mundane act of self-maintenance. I thanked her and missed the rest of the game as sleep quickly reached up for me.

Fast-forward 24 hours and we were in the same spot watching a different game (Sunday Night Football on Tuesday!), me naked, but this time the word was never given. And yeah, three orgasms in five days, but I wanted to go again. After the game was over (skol Vikings!) and she was asleep, I wanked slowly and kept it hard for a while, but never got to the edge. Normally, two shots would put me down for a week or more, but here I am still unlocked and with the possibilities of more orgasms floating around out there. I’m not crazy horny like I can be when I haven’t come in weeks, but I’m some flavor of horny I can’t say I’ve been in a while. There isn’t a constant tickle in my groin for activity, but my brain is definitely instigating something. The lizard knows there’s a chance of more sticky white goo out there and isn’t sated in the least. He wants more. Will he get it? Only Belle knows.