Where I am

I’ve received a couple of messages like this one from reader Andy (who’s favorite color is green):

No entries in so long…what’s up? Are you ok?

Yes, I’m OK. Thanks to all who asked.

To recap. Last we spoke, I was unlocked. Belle left me out for the period between Christmas Eve and New Year’s. I think I went back in on the 2nd. Anyway, I had come five times in that week. It was an interesting period for me because, even though I was coming fairly regularly, I didn’t really lose the urge to do so until the fifth time. After that one (which, like the first, happened inside Belle), I was well and truly tapped out.

But the fact that I wanted to come more even after the third and fourth effort and how the urge shut down so completely after the last makes me think there’s a significant mental component to my desire to orgasm. I knew she was going to let me come a lot over a relatively short period of time, so I kept wanting to do it. Also, I knew when the last one had happened and my need for more shut down commensurately.

So anyway, she put me back in the day after the fifth. I did not want that fucking thing on me. I’ve written about this before, but the stupid thing really bummed me out for a while. Four to five days, I’d guess. I was just this big, heavy, clunking thing and I had razor burn behind the ring and it hurt and I was grumpy about it and hated it. And she said she didn’t care. In-the-moment hottness factor of zero, retrospective hottness factor of 8. Then, at some point, I asked her why she put me in it. First, she said, she thought it was sexy. Yes, she now apparently thinks her husband is more sexy with a secure cock than he is with a functioning one. Two, she said she thought it was good for me. I am imprisoned for my own good.

It speaks to how I’m in such a different place now that just writing those last few sentences have filled my tube and caused my heart to pound in my ears. About two weeks in and the hornies have started to come back. I had a hard time falling asleep last night because of how turned on I was and that hasn’t happened since she put me in. That’s a good sign, I suppose. Also, the device has transmogrified back into an extension of me and not some clunky steel thing I have to put up with. That’s always kind of a magical thing, to be honest.

So, as is typical for men in my position, I start to wonder how long I’ll be like this. The Christmas/New Year’s break, while unscheduled, was not entirely unexpected. It was one of those markers on the calendar that seemed like logical points for her to let me out. Birthdays, anniversaries, major religious holidays, etc. But, looking forward, I don’t see another logical release point until our family vacation at the end of March. She hasn’t said anything other than making vague and ominous warnings about “duration records”. I have an overnight business trip in February, but other than that, it’s not looking good for the cock.

There’s where I am. Not bad. Not fantastic, but could be way worse. Thanks again to those who took the time to enquire.

4 thoughts on “Where I am

  1. I loved the word “transmogrified”. This post resonated with me as I find myself in a very similar place; however, I am on the honor system. My wife and I will probably have a discussion soon about getting my first device. Exciting but scary. MC is still relatively new territory for us. My current long streak is only 13 days. But I’m gonna be closing in on a new record soon- so she says.

  2. I totally relate to the honor system. We got a CB-2000 many years ago when it first came out and I was disappointed and haven’t tried again. Any device is going to have some aspect of the honor system and so mental and relationship conditioning is always important.

    Thumper—having some trepidation is understandable but make sure your wife knows how utterly grateful you are that she “gets” what is best for you in your moments of myopia, shares in your delight, and nudges you along when you need it. Have fun on this next ride!

  3. Wow, do I know those feelings. Even though I’m just really starting to get to know them.

    It’s such a twisted little mind game. A few years ago I was one of those guys wishing for it more. Now I’m all mixed when I have to put it on. And I’m forever grateful I learned not to whine about any of it. My wife enjoys it 100x more and those moments when she really gets into it are so genuine that it makes the moments when I wonder if she’s doing it just for me fade away…

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