Doesn’t sound lame to me

Occasionally I find something and all I can do is nod my head as I read it. Axe posted something like this today. I encourage you to read the entire thing, but this part in particular resonates with me:

I’m finding that giving myself to someone for whatever is on their kinky list, to be just as (or more) powerful than getting whatever I’m hoping for. When I give myself over to whatever she has in mind, it never feels like anything is missing. In the past I’d always hope for something specific and it was great when it happened but kinda “eh” when it didn’t.

Leading up to it I have lots and lots of dirty thoughts and hopes of what will happen. When the moment arrives however I’m a big blank slate. I want to say “just do whatever you want, I don’t care what, just do it.” [Emphasis mine.]

I know that feeling.

Five and five-eighths

Ranat over on Beyond the Hills posted a terrific rant entitled Big Cocks and Why They Are Stupid. Here’s a sample:

Oh, and let us segue into the idiotic myth of the infinitely stretchy continuum of the vagina that can somehow magically accommodate anything. Reality check: it ends. Ultimately, the vagina has a finite length. You hit the cervix, squeeze into the deep spots on the side, and you’re done. Can’t go any farther. I can only speak from personal experience, as I have not put anything up anyone else’s cunt but my own, but to tell you more about my internal proportions than you ever wanted to know, more than five inches? Impossible. Utterly. Five. Inches. Four on a sore day. Five and a quarter on a particularly stretchy day. Do you have any idea how annoying it is that the standard size for dildos is seven inches?!?!?

This tickles me for a number of reasons. First, it makes me recall a question once posited by my boyfriend in high school. I paraphrase, but it went something along the lines of since guys are so hung up on length, do you suppose girls sit around and talk about depth? He also says I at one time said my dick was bigger than his and I suppose I may have said this, but I honestly have no recollection of it, and besides, he’s extraordinarily well proportioned, so I don’t know why I’d make such a demonstrably wrong comment. Usually, when I say things that are wrong, I try to make them difficult if not impossible to prove. It’s kinda stupid to be laying in bed with a guy and say your boner’s longer than his when, well, they’re right there.

The other reason I find Ranat’s rant funny is I was just measuring my erect penis the other day. I know this sounds fishy, but I had a really good reason. As I’ve mentioned a few times, I’m seriously hung up on this idea that Belle will someday make me fuck her with a strap-on while I’m in chastity. To that end, I was dildo shopping and trying to find one that more or less matched my size (like Ranat, Belle is disinterested in a seven-inch wonder schlong). For those keeping score at home, this one’s not too far off.

Whilst measuring, I was surprised to find I was not as long as I thought I was. To the best of my recollection, I am six inches long. The handful of times I had measured before, I was always six inches on the nose (or whatever). This time, I was about five and five-eighths. I have to admit, this bothered me, even though Belle (the only person who really matters) finds it to be a perfect five and five-eighths. In fact, it’s been the perfect length for every women I’ve ever been with. I can even remember tickling a few cervixes, so anything more would have been too much, which is exactly what Ranat was saying to begin with. I’m also comforted by the fact that, according to Wikipedia, I am positioned at the very tip top of the bell curve when it comes to erect length and girth. Yay for normal distribution.

So, the old boyfriend’s question and Ranat’s post got me wondering what the average female depth is. Turns out the average aroused vagina is between five and six inches long. In other words, perfect for my Mr. Winky. But what’s really funny is how differently vaginal depth and penis length are discussed on Wikipedia. There is exactly one paragraph (that I could find) dealing with vaginal depth. And here it is:

The human vagina is an elastic muscular canal that extends from the cervix to the vulva. Although there is wide anatomical variation, the length of the unaroused vagina is approximately 6 to 7.5 cm (2.5 to 3 in) across the anterior wall (front), and 9 cm (3.5 in) long across the posterior wall (rear). During sexual arousal the vagina expands in both length and width. Its elasticity allows it to stretch during sexual intercourse and during birth to offspring. The vagina connects the superficial vulva to the cervix of the deep uterus.

Notice no mention of what the aroused state’s length is, just that it gets longer when wet. Keep in mind that that paragraph is just a small part of the main vagina article. Now, contrast that with the penis. Penis length has been dedicated an entire article all its own. It has ten (count ’em, ten) sections. How to measure the penis, studies on its size, its size at birth, how its size changes with age, differences between flaccid and erect lengths (with pictures), how to enlarge it through surgery, historical, modern, and popular perceptions of its size, etc., etc. I mean, come on guys! Obsess much?

Turns out, there is an approved way to measure one’s penis and I wasn’t using it the other day. It’s entirely possible I am six inches or I’m only five and a half. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Just like Mary Poppins, it’s practically perfect in very way.

The most effective chastity device

Over on Tom’s site, Miss Tease (the author of yesterday’s super-hot link) said this in a thread about the CB-6000:

…[T]he CBx000 series provide almost zero protection against masturbation. The vast majority of males seems to be able to pull out their penis of the device even when additional accessories such as points of intrigue are applied. Getting back into the device also does not seem to be a problem using a certain technique incorporating a nylon stocking or pantyhose. A potential solution could be a piercing, but this always bears the risk of migration or being ripped out of the wearer’s skin during physical activity.

Altogther, I would not call a device that can cause significant health problems while not fulfilling its intended purpose adequate. I agree that as a sex toy for beginners, the CBx000 devices make for a hot fantasy, I am just a little disappointed that they are so inadequate as real chastity devices.

While I greatly enjoy Miss Tease’s prose, I have a fundamental issue with her POV regarding chastity devices. What she seems to be looking for is the mythical undefeatable belt (you know, the one those guys are locked into against their will for years and years in all the hawt chastity p0rn). One that will never allow her man access to his wee-wee without her knowledge and frustrate his every attempt get it. I suppose an actual metal belt-type model would do this, but I’ve never seen one that didn’t cost north of $500 (and usually, well north).

For me, there seems to be two ways to cheat at “enforced” chastity. One is slipping out for a quick wank and then slipping back in with hopes no one noticed. The CB-X000’s, unmodified, certainly allow this, as, I suspect, do most of the other “trapped ball” devices out there. The other way to cheat is to physically defeat the device (cutting the lock, etc.). Regardless of the caliber of your device, there is a tool that will break it (and a lot of guys probably already own it). As far as I’m concerned, there’s not a huge difference in either scenario because the commitment to chastity isn’t made at the moment the device is placed on you. You have to bring that with you beforehand.

My best advice for Miss Tease (or anyone else, be they the keyholder or the locked) is to depend on the chastised male’s brain as the ultimate chastity device. The physical representation of the keyholder’s control hangs off your dick. The actual control exists between your ears. All any CB can be is a deterrent. It’s there to help you through moments of weakness or extreme arousal (or maybe even create moments of arousal), but none ever devised can absolutely guarantee denied access.

So, that said, where do I come down on the whole “the best chastised male is the one who doesn’t need a device” argument? Well, as usual, Tom’s got it covered pretty well. As he says, “Some of us just happen to kink on the physical restraint. It’s okay. Really.” That’s why I’m in it. Not because I can’t control myself, but because I like carrying her control around with me. It turns me on.

Which brings me back to Miss Tease (or, more specifically, her boyfriend). He shouldn’t wear it if it’s because he needs it. If he needs it, she’s already lost her control. If he wants it or likes it, bingo. If that’s the case, then she’s already got a lock on his mind and, as everyone knows, that’s the most dangerous sex organ of them all.

Go read this, part II

Not sure if it’s real or not (or if it really matters, ’cause it’s pretty frickin’ hot), but there’s a new blog called A year of teasing and denial. It’s written from the point of view of a woman supposedly allowing her boyfriend “only” 52 orgasms in 2009. While 52’s starting to seem like a ridiculously indulgent amount, it’s certainly fun to read.