Bit part

Let’s see, where was I…

As you might have guessed, Belle let me come about a week ago. That’s not entirely why I wasn’t blogging, but it was a big part of it. I was also distracted by some other stuff (nothing related to Belle or anything I write about here), but mainly it was the orgasm.

I can’t even recall exactly when it was now. A week ago? Maybe ten days? We were up at the cabin and she unlocked me unexpectedly, but didn’t really do anything with the cock. Then, back home, she was stroking me in bed and generally working me up when she told me I could go inside her. I fucked her enough to get close once or twice (doesn’t take that long anymore) when she told me I could come but if I did, it’d be the last time before August sometime. I hesitated for maybe 2/10 of a second and plowed forward, coming like a fire hose moments later. Lots of come. Oodles and gobs.

Then she left me unlocked for a while. That didn’t help me get more focused. Truth is, now, I can’t really feel normal without the device on. Even after I come and it feels all clunky and alien, I feel more “put together” when it’s in place. Last Friday, she had a night at a nice hotel and a morning spa treatment (her Christmas present), and before she left she had wanted me locked up but forgot to make me do it. I popped my spare key and locked myself up. It was what she wanted and I was more than a little craving the feeling of captivity. That was just four days ago, but it’s like it was never off. Peeing in it, sleeping in it, sitting with it squashed between my legs are all the normal feelings. And now I’m well and truly horned up again so all those other feelings are punctuated by the occasional throbbing pressure of a stifled erection. That little tremulous quivering of unrealized desire is never far away.

Belle wanted an orgasm the other night (Saturday, I think) and threatened me with not only not having my own, but not sharing hers. Oh, I could be present, she said, but maybe that’s all. What use am I all locked up, anyway? At the time, I was horrified. The idea of not being allowed the touch, taste, and scent of her sounds too terrible to imagine, but in retrospect, I find the threat kinda hot. Being diminished in that way really worked for me. Also, I believed she might actually go through with it.

As it turned out, she wanted me to go down on her and doing it after the threat and subtle degradation left me feeling very confined in my small steel space. She backed off and said nicer things to me, afraid, perhaps, that she had hurt my feelings, but I have to admit, it wasn’t necessary. There’s something difficult to capture in all this. I like the feeling of being optional and a beneficiary of her charity. Even as I was eating her out, she reached into her drawer and took out Pink. She turned the little vibe up to high and inserted it under my lapping tongue making me hold it there with my chin, fully engaged with her G-spot. I was not the star of her ringing orgasm. I was a co-star. Perhaps only a featured player. It made her powerful and me less so. I felt she knew exactly what she wanted for her and was in total control of how it happened.

And it was good.

5 thoughts on “Bit part

  1. Hot post! It’s cool that she made you feel like that… I would love to watch my wife masturbate to orgasm while denying me, that would be hot, but this sounds like a good first step.

    1. It’s a double-edged sword. On the one hand, seeing her take total control over her own sexual pleasure with no regard to mine is, indeed, fucking hot. It’s everything I’ve wanted, right? She’s empowered to do whatever she wants in any way she wants and my role is clearly subordinate and determined by her. Just typing these words makes my tube throb.

      On the other hand, being in a device as long as I am with no ability to experience any physical sexual stimulation at my own hand makes me reliant on her pleasure for my own. I can feel her orgasms in my own way and while they don’t do anything at all to lessen my frustration, I do often feel sleepy and some sense of release when she shares them with me. When she takes them all for herself, it’s an entirely different feeling. There’s a sense of loss and missed opportunity. The sense of inequity turns both ways. But, again, writing about it now and recalling her next to me in bed with her own hands on her nipples and the in and out throbbing noise of the vibrator under her other hand between her legs…woof.

      If I can stay in the right frame of mind and recall the feeling I have right now, then completely severing any right of mine to her pleasure – to really and truly accept my role – could be revelatory and powerful. If I start to feel sorry for myself and forget that what I really want is to celebrate her own empowerment to be pleasured in any way she wants, then I’ll be in trouble.

  2. I love how you feel about submitting, and how Belle is able to play you nowadays. But I fear that even men with no submissive desires whatsoever (see: Wonderboy) feel threatened and put out of place by supplements such as the Pink. It works for you to be in the second place, but how to reconcile that feeling, when it’s not infact a part of d/s play?

    I don’t know, if you can answer this, and it’s certainly not your problem with your happy bunny sex life and all. Probably those feelings of submissiveness can be used in different ways. It used to be the well known truth that only blowing someone was submissive, and never dominant. And now we have you and some others suggesting otherwise. 🙂

    1. In my opinion, regardless of one’s proclivities with regard to submission and domination, it’s the role of a good partner to help the other get off (or not if that’s what get’s them off). A lot of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm and many of those need intense sensation from a vibrator. This is not a problem with the man, it’s just how some women are. Any guy who feels threatened by a sex toy needs to reevaluate his ideas of how healthy sex is supposed to work.

      Of course, I write those words as a guy who’s well past the point of thinking his cock is the end-all, be-all of the bedroom experience. I think most men would benefit from having to pleasuring their partner for a month without ever getting their dick wet. The way men think about their dicks in sex is kind of like how western cultures think about meat in a meal. It’s the centerpiece, the focus, the thing all other parts of the meal are there to support. But in reality, it’s more like Asian cuisine. An accessory. Something that adds a bit of texture and flavor in support of the larger meal experience. Sometimes (many times), it’s not even present or necessary.

      1. Wow, your analogy with Western food is actually incredibly perceptive. “Where’s the beef?” is even used as a way to hint that there might not be a point to something. “Where’s the ‘meat’?” is not that far away.

        Any guy who feels threatened by a sex toy needs to reevaluate his ideas of how healthy sex is supposed to work.

        I whole-heartedly agree. And it doesn’t help that our ‘pornified’ culture just superimposes that dicks are huge, dicks are the only thing that matters.

        You’ve also had lots of experience and years of education in sexual matters, so to speak, you’re not just submissive. I’d be very sad for the wife of someone, who only thought that his dick is important when it comes to sex. Especially after many years.

        **

        Sometimes I just feel like as a submissive I embrace some things that are actually portrayed and believed, by most of the people, to be something unambiguosly desirable or undesirable for women. And I get off on them precisely because I feel them as demeaning…

        Just trying to wrap my head around stuff like deep throating, anal sex etc. Is it then a fallacy to expect that it wouldn’t be demeaning or threatening (in the Pink case also) to someone not into d/s?

        Or is everything really only dependant on the two people acting it out, and how they perceive it?

        Maybe? Just makes for a lousy backbone for any theory on sexuality, or d/s for that matter.

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