Chastity Nerdery – Page 12

November 3, 2014

Holy Trainer v2 inbound

So since Andy’s review of the Holy Trainer 2 I mentioned the other day, the device has been on my mind. There were some loose ends from my original Holy Trainer review and I’ve always wanted to address them. Not only the new design, but the “biosourced resin” material and, specifically, the clear version which seems to get more reports of cracking and failure than the opaque models. Then, Belle and I scheduled a trip to NYC for next month in which I requested she keep me in the Trainer. So it was on my mind even more.

So, yes, I ordered the v2 Trainer this morning. The final straw was noticing that when one Google’s “Holy Trainer” my review is the first site listed that isn’t one of the holytrainer.com pages. It’s the same if you Google “Holy Trainer 2.” If you ask Google for “Holy Trainer review” or “Holy Trainer 2 review,” I get top billing. Well, friends, that was it. I couldn’t stand the thought that people might be coming here looking for a review of the HT v2 and finding a review of the old model. Also, since the clear resin might be a fatal flaw, I felt compelled to pick it up.

I started ordering from the HT site but thought $20 for shipping was excessive and checked out Kept for Her. The device is available there and ships via Priority Mail for $8. Total damage was $178 which was about five bucks cheaper than going direct (and, I expect, will result in faster deliver since KFH is domestic and HT is in Europe).

Back when I found out the HT v2 existed, I asked the manufacturer if they’d supply a review unit. They declined, as I recall, saying they had already sent out all the review units they were going to give away (since it’s highly doubtful they want any of them back). So here I am several months later shelling out my own allowance, but at least that means you know I have no skin in the game. No conflict of interest. In fact, if it breaks, I’ll be pissed. Also, dear reader, know that I bought the clear one especially for you. I prefer the look of the black device and so does Belle, as a general rule.

My plan will be to ask Belle if I can wear the device for at least a month. I want to evaluate how the changes in the design impact its performance and I want to give the clear resin a real test. I’ll likely post a new review based on a few days of wear but will be adding to it over time with notes on durability. KFH sent a shipment notification less than two hours after I ordered which says two things. One, I hope to be able it get it on soon. Two, KFH is on their game.

So, stay tuned.

Finally, I figured out my Google rankings might help determine which of the two best-known plastic chastity devices is the better seller if, as I do, you assume Google searches are an indicator of purchase intent. My CB-6000 tips and tricks page is also the top link if you Google for a CB6K review, so comparing the two pages’ traffic should be interesting directional information.

For the year so far, the Holy Trainer review averages 2,178 views a month. It’s usually in the top five pages every day. The CB-6000 review page gets 5,042 and is usually number two or three on the days I don’t post a new entry. Traffic for both is pretty flat and has shown little increase or decrease, on average, over the year. So, one might assume the CB6K remains the clear winner in the plastic cock lock wars. Pity, really, since I think the HT is a better device all the way around.

October 29, 2014

Holy Trainer FTW

Andy, a UK-based blogger and prolific sex toy reviewer who writes Ruffled Sheets, has posted a new review of the Holy Trainer.

This really is my favourite ‘off the shelf’ chastity device. After I bought mine I was quick to tell people how good they were … If you’re thinking of experimenting with chastity, do yourself a favour and lock your (or your partner’s) penis in one of these.

I agree with everything he says about the device and many of his points came up in my review of the first generation Holy Trainer. The new design only makes it better.

Andy dings it for having an ugly key and, truly, it is ugly. Certainly not suitable for external wear by a keyholder, but it’s the exact same kind of lock and key employed by Steelworxx on their integrated lock designs and it’s such a great little lock for that purpose that I’m willing to let the ugliness of the key go. Belle was never one to wear a key visibly anyway (though I’m sure she’d make an exception for the Steelwerks key and I hope she gets the chance someday). Andy similarly faults the manufacturer for not including multiple ring sizes, as did I. I suggested they provide an upgrade option to buy more than one at a time at a discounted price but just including them would be preferred and knock one of the CB-6000’s competitive advantages out of play. I have to imagine a plastic molded device being sold for $165 (in the UK, available from UberKinky for £147) has a substantial amount of margin built-in and the inclusion of a few extra rings shouldn’t break the bank (especially as they sell them and the cost of the molds are amortized away). Selling a sole, single-piece plastic ring for $48 borders on criminal, IMO.

But those faults are relatively minor for what I think is the very best starter device you can buy today. In his review, Andy remains generous in his view of the CB-6000 but I think the Trainer is so much better in nearly every way that I just can’t bring myself to recommend it to anyone. If you’re looking to dip your, er, toe into the world of enforced male chastity, you will not go wrong with the Holy Trainer. In fact, I think it’s so good I don’t know that upgrading to steel would ever be necessary as long as the plastic aesthetic and lack of steely durability wasn’t an issue for you.

In any event, go read Andy’s review. Oh, did I mention he was super hot? Fuck yes he is. Indeed.

October 13, 2014

Mailbag

Two today.

Caged Nerd said:

I’ve used a CB6k and currently wear a Jail Bird fairly regularly.

However I have noticed that the JB isn’t quite as snug as when I was first wearing it. Did you ever notice that your body has adjusted to your cages over time, and as a result you have had to purchase a smaller base ring?

Also, is there a particular device you would recommend for an uncircumcised man? I find cleaning can be quite difficult at times.

Yes, early on I found the size of the A-ring I needed got smaller the more I wore it. I started out using the largest (at the time) CB6K ring and eventually dropped to 40mm for the Steelheart I wear now. I also have noticed the devices fit differently in that untold number of erections pulling at my balls have made my scrotum stretch. The net benefit of this is a reduction of the relative intensity of testicular discomfort during attempted erections (though it’s hard to get rid of entirely).

With regard to those who are foreskin-enabled, I don’t really have advice. It’s a question I see fairly often, though. My foreskin was taken from me before I had the ability to express my own opinion on the matter so I just don’t have any experience to speak from. Sorry.

Another reader new to chastity had a question about keeping the existence of the device from his children:

As I have read you blog I noticed you have two children. I also have two. How have you been able to keep your kids from finding out about your “device”. Since I’ve been locked I have been overly cautious about them sitting in my lap for some daddy hugs or playing with them in general. Any advice?

Constant vigilance. My kids have somewhat outgrown lap-sitting, though my youngest is just at the cusp of turning into a world-weary cynical tweener and still seeks affection from me. The older one might as well have his own place at this point.

I avoided putting them in a position to have any contact with the device by being aware of what they were likely to do at any given point. For example, if I was laying in bed and my youngest was coming in for a goodnight kiss, I’d place my phone or the TV remote in proximity of the device so as to “explain” any unexpected hardness there. Also, I tend to be very careful when hugging. I’ll either make a point to ensure it’s an above the waist kind of hug or slightly turn my hips away to keep contact there to a minimum.

Luckily, kids as young as yours (he told me, I edited it out) don’t seem to think the way adults do or the way we worry they might. My youngest has been in a few situations over the years where she may have felt whatever I was in. Just keep going and make no notice of it. Don’t make it a big deal. On the off chance they ask what it was they felt, take your phone or your keys or whatever out of your pocket. But I doubt a young child would ask.

Finally, a few people asked what kind of running tights I posted yesterday about. They’re called Nike Trail Kiger. This is the pair I have. There’s a very similar style that’s been discontinued here. The only difference appears to be color options.

October 12, 2014

Running man, continued

Earlier today, I said:

My preference would be to wear some running tights. They would offer some compression which helps with things like shin splints while also keeping me from getting cold when I run through the shadowy bits of my route (also, I think my legs look pretty fucking hot in them). Alas, the Steelheart isn’t made for that kind of thing. It’s not only plainly visible (which, all by itself, isn’t really enough to cause me not to wear them), but it gets pushed awkwardly to one side and I can’t imagine that would be comfortable on mile four.

After I wrote that, I went to Dick’s Sporting Goods (because of course) and found my Goldilocks running tights. Seems they received some new pairs and/or reconfigured their floor so they were easier to find, but right there in the middle of all the other Nike running stuff were a few pegs with a different style of tights. The standard pairs, as I said, have a seam running right down the middle of the crotch forcing hard steel tubes to choose sides, but this new pair, besides being made of a cooler looking patterned material, has two seams that run down each leg into the crotch. Here’s a photo of me in the Steelheart in these wonderful tights:

Not, too bad. I mean, that could be a real penis. Sorta. If you didn’t have anything to compare it to, that is…

Of course I took a comparison picture. Are you new here? As you can see below, even when not sporting steel, these tights leave little to the imagination. You can even just barely make out the PA ring I’m wearing (it’s the big one — 4ga) in the top shot. The fabric pulled across the tube down below even lets a little of the steel’s sheen show through.

Having been left out by Belle following this morning’s sex (she came, of course, and I didn’t, of course), I was able to take these out for a run absent the Steelheart. I assume passers by were able to see the free meat moving around, but then again, the same was true for each of the other guys I passed who were wearing something similar. If letting the world see an outline of your package was an issue for them, then they wouldn’t be wearing this. Natch. You can guess how I feel about it.

The pants were great. I was warm even though there was a stiff wind and the lack of flapping material made me feel faster (and I put in my best 5k time, so maybe it was more than just a feeling). Since my comfort will likely not be impacted by these were I to run with a device on, I’m sure I will next time I take to the trail and it’s cold enough to warrant them.

And yeah, I do think my legs look pretty awesome in them. 😉

October 12, 2014

Running man

It’s October in the hinterlands which means the days are getting shorter and have developed a definite crispness. As the leaves wither and change color, I have to switch from my usual running gear of tank tops and mellifluous shorts to garments with a bit more substance.

My preference would be to wear some running tights. They would offer some compression which helps with things like shin splints while also keeping me from getting cold when I run through the shadowy bits of my route (also, I think my legs look pretty fucking hot in them). Alas, the Steelheart isn’t made for that kind of thing. It’s not only plainly visible (which, all by itself, isn’t really enough to cause me not to wear them), but it gets pushed awkwardly to one side and I can’t imagine that would be comfortable on mile four. Truth is, I don’t really have a good solution at this point. All my runnings shorts have built-in pouches that suspend whatever device I’m wearing enough so that the testicles don’t take the brunt of swinging metal with every stride. But none of my longer pants have anything like this so I’m left to improvise.

Yesterday, I put on a light pair of long running pants and a gently supportive jock before I took off. The combination was pretty comfortable even though the jock isn’t the kind with straps each leg goes through. It has a single strap that goes up my butt crack. More of a thong jock, I guess. While I’m a big fan of things going up my butt crack in general, I wasn’t sure how running like that would fare. Turns out, just fine.

At about two miles in, I noticed that I was presenting a bit more of a show than is typical. In the shorts I normally wear, I don’t think whatever device I’m wearing is all that noticeable, but the combination of butt crack jock and light pants were different. So, I did what any normal person would do and held my phone out in front of me and took a video:

[wpvideo INpklRxI]

The gently supportive jock was doing nothing whatsoever to keep the heavy Steelheart from bouncing around (though it wasn’t pulling on my balls, so it was doing what I needed it to do). I didn’t notice any of my fellow joggers taking sideways glances at the bouncy junk, but if you’re approaching someone on a jogging path you can sneak your look from a ways off and be pretty discreet about it.

So, you tell me. If you saw the above bounding towards you on a path, what would you assume? Guy with his cock locked up? Or guy with a big old dick? Or maybe just a freeballer? Personally, my first thought would be a combination of the latter two. The part of me that kinks on small penis humiliation finds this unsettling but the lizard part of me likes it. In either event, it is what it is. I’m going to keep running outside for as long as the weather permits (don’t like running outside when it’s icy out so that’ll be my hard stop) so I guess, unless I find different gear, that I’ll keep on making a show of it.

FYI, if you ever upload video like that above to Tumblr, they will delete it straight away. Funny old Tumblr.

October 7, 2014

Unusually terrible interaction

I once said…

I might end up with a UTI or I might not. If I do, it’s an easy thing to get rid of (though it sounds like a bummer of a thing to have). I’m OK with that.

…in a post about risk.

I also said…

I have to say the only people I’ve read talking about this eventuality are those who haven’t worn the device.

Well, that’s not the case anymore. I’ve worn the Looker 02 and I’ve had a urinary tract infection. Or something so much like it as to make no difference.

It all started a week ago last Friday. Belle and I were at dinner and I started to feel achy. My assumption was I was just feeling the affects of my morning workout and thought nothing more of it. The achiness continued as I went to bed so I took ibuprofen.

But it got worse. And I got the chills. And I started to feel feverish. And, most importantly, I had to pee. Over and over again. By the time morning came around, I had a temp of over 101º and peeing was not only a regular imperative but was also becoming difficult.

I wasn’t in the Looker 02 at the time. I was in the Steelheart and had been for a few days since Belle came home. But based on the symptoms, it was clear to her, me, and WebMD that I had some kind of infection (either of the prostate or the urinary tract). So I went immediately to the clinic.

The very nice nurse at the clinic was perplexed. Men aren’t supposed to get UTIs, though it’s possible. She couldn’t seem to make heads or tails of it and I, admittedly, was less than forthcoming as to how it may have happened. She took my temp, all the vitals, and my symptoms and then had me pee in a cup.

Belle didn’t let me out of the device before going to the clinic. She didn’t even bring it up. Luckily, I wasn’t expected to pee in front of the nice nurse and instead did so in the little bathroom and then put my warm cup into a little pass-through cupboard for her to test. Yep, while cell count was sky-high.

She was still perplexed. She asked me if I was sexually active. Of course, I said. She then asked, “Do you void after intercourse?” I just blinked at her. “That means, do you pee after sex.” Of course I knew what that meant, but most times, the kind of sex I have isn’t involving the penis. I got hung up on processing my response and helpfully answered, “Errr…”

Eventually, I said I didn’t really pay attention. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. In reality, hardly ever. She told me I should. I said OK, I would. But I know that’s not where I got my UTI.

Earlier in the week, while still wearing the L02, I spent an enjoyable morning with a new anal toy from Mr. S Leather. They don’t sell it anymore, oddly, so I must have got one of the last ones. In any event, I really went to town on this thing and, my presumption is, at some point this is what led to the UTI. Bacteria must have gotten on the device and then migrated up the insert. I wasn’t doing anything special with the penis, obviously, since I didn’t have access, but incidental contact is to be expected. After, I showered and cleaned myself up pretty well, but not well enough, apparently. I don’t really know how I could have done a better job with the L02. I wasn’t about to send water up the insert. In any event, that must have been when the damage was done.

So she prescribed an antibiotic and that made me feel tons better after about 36 hours. For the next five days, though, peeing was difficult. I had to bear down hard on my bladder to get even a little trickle out. It felt as though I was never really done at any point. I suspect that’s a little preview of what to expect if I should ever develop prostate issues when I’m older.

Later the same night after I got my meds, Belle took pity on my and let me out of the Steelheart. Not sure what moved her to do so at that particular time, but I was out until yesterday after I got back from a weekend trip with some friends. I feel 100% better and have no issues peeing at all (though, while it may be my hyperactive imagination, it seems like I still need to go more often than usual).

So, what to make of this experience? On the one hand, it was totally avoidable. I feel quite confident that had I been in the Steelheart this wouldn’t have happened. However, I will again want to wear the Looker 02 and I’ll still want to play with my ass at some point. Now I know to be very careful if those two things happen at the same time. In fact, I should perhaps put a condom over the L02 when the time comes. I have, of course, used anal sex toys with the L02 in the past and I’ve been playing with my ass since I was a teenager. This is the first time I ever got sick doing so. Live and learn. I’ll be careful, but I’m not going to overreact.

In a way, the UTI kind of feels like an STD. I’m chalking it up as a similar experience. Luckily, as I suspected two years ago, the UTI was easily dealt with (and a bummer of a thing to have).

September 24, 2014

Mailbag

I have been a very bad chastity blogger. Very, very bad. I deserve to be punished. Severely. So…uh…wanna?

OK, maybe later. In truth, I have yet again totally ignored my DT email address and a whole lot of feedback has piled up and I truly do feel guilty about not replying. So, without further ado, here we go…

B asked:

I’m considering purchasing a Looker 3 but can not find any reviews, opinions, or even pictures of it being worn. Have you ever tried a PA lock of the style before? I’m curious if it pinches or gets in the way to the point where it is uncomfortable or irritating.

No, I’ve not read or seen anything on the ‘net regarding experiences with that device. My concerns are the same as yours, though. I’d be afraid of getting pinched between the shackle and the lip of the cup at the end of the cage. It looks hot, though. When I first noticed its availability, I wrote a post about it. More thoughts over there.

Pup Colt queried:

Hi! I am looking at getting a Looker2 as my first steel device and was wondering would you suggest ordering it the way it comes? or would you suggest ordering it without the bulb on the end of the insert?

I like the bulb myself. I suspect it makes the end of the insert less likely to irritate the urethra, though that’s just a guess. Subjectively, I just like how it looks and the feel of the little bulge deep down in there. The only thing I’d change if I were ordering the Looker 02 again today (except to maybe make the cage a smidge shorter) would be to increase the circumference of the insert. I’d personally like something about 50% bigger around since I think that’d make leakage around it less likely and would allow urine to drain out of me faster. Sometimes, when I really have to go, I find the narrow tube slows things down.

K wrote a big one:

I’ve been following your blog on and off for a few years now. There is so much great info in it. I find myself returning every few months to catch up and re-reading a lot of the valuable info. Thank you for taking the time and energy to teach us Want-To-Be-Thumpers!

That’s cute. I imagine a bunch of baby bunnies hopping around.

I’ve enjoyed chastity on and off for many years now. I’ve worn only one device, a CB6000. I’m sick of it. I’m long overdue for an upgrade to a custom steel unit. I’m ready to jump off the bridge and order a Steelheart 2 from Steelworxx, but I’m terrified about getting the sizing right. I’m hoping you might help me with some advice on sizing as well as a few other random questions from your experience.

I’ve worn the CB6000 on and off for years now and feel pretty confident that I’ve found the right setup for me in the CB6000. But now I’m scratching my head for how to translate the CB6000 setup to a new Steelheart. You obviously had a learning curve with your first Steelheart so I’m hoping your experiences can help me make smart decisions. When I try and translate my current setup to Steelworxx’s offerings, I get this:

He shares a lot of measurement info…

Now that I’ve shared all that data, I’m sure you’re not interested in studying my personal measurements [don’t bet on it — T] so suffice it to say the Steelheart measurements seem to be at the large end of his range. I’m pretty average in size, certainly no monster. Since you found your first Steelheart to be too big, I’m thinking that there are some tricks to translating these measurements. Here are some specific questions I’d greatly appreciate your help with:

1. You have said that the same size A Ring in plastic and steel did not work. How much smaller is your Steelheart A Ring compared to your CB6000 size? I figure I’m between 48.6mm (CB6000) and 44.5mm (my regular cockring size).

As I recall, I was in the 45mm CB6K ring and ordered that in steel. WAY too big. I eventually settled into 40mm in the Steelheart but find the 42mm anatomical ring of the Looker 02 to be a much better fit. Remember that the size you wear in a cock ring will be much too big for a chastity device. Cock rings assume a big old erection on the other side while a device will keep that mostly in check. The less room your erection has to grow, the less room you need in the ring.

2. How should I determine spacing between the Tube and A ring? It appears the Steelheart tube is angled away from the A Ring on the underside so I’m not sure how to figure these two distances. The website doesn’t offer customization for these distances so maybe this is moot. But the Steelheart appears to have less space at the top and more at the bottom. Doesn’t more space at the bottom mean more space to pull the balls out? If this is a set parameter on the Steelheart, then do you add or subtract to the length of the tube to make up for this difference in measurement? Keeping in mind that on paper I’m almost maxed out on Steelheart length. I can’t wrap my head around this.

Sure, a bigger gap in the bottom means your balls could have more room to escape, but if you look at the Steelheart I wear now, you’ll see the gap is far too small for any testicles to get out (I assume). This gap is a function of the A-ring size and is another reason why getting that right is important. If I had to choose, I’d err on a slightly smaller ring than larger. But that’s me.

Regarding the spacing between the tube and ring, that’s a measurement I’ve never changed. In the three devices I have from Dietmar, I always went with the default.

3. The optional curved “anatomical A Ring” seems interesting to me for comfort. Have you tried this one? Any insight? It seems like if the bottom of the ring curves back against the abdomen, the space between the bottom of the Ring and the bottom of the Tube gets even bigger, which sounds bad for security.

Yep, the Looker 02 has that and I love it. If the ring isn’t too big, I doubt you’ll have security issues.

4. I’ve got a 4 gauge PA and working up to a 0ga eventually. I’m going to ask Steelworxx to modify the Steelheart with a PA slot on the tube so I can wear my jewelry through the tube to secure myself. But I’d also like to order a PA fixing so I have the option of securing inside like you.

I also wear a 4ga ring, but not with the Steelheart. I found it took too much space inside the tube and caused pinching. I wear a 10ga ring when locked up. It’s just as secure and is a lot smaller overall. If you’re going to build a slot in, my issues may not apply.

a. Sounds like your experience is that you cannot fit anything larger than 8 gauge jewelry inside. True?

Nope, I can get he 4ga in there, it’s just not as comfy. I bet I could get even larger jewelry in there, but the heavier the ring the more noise will be made as it hits the inside of the tube.

b. How much added length and diameter should I add to the Tube to accommodate the PA fixing and jewelry, to achieve your setup?

I’ve been asked this before and I wish I had a good answer. I’d say at least another 1/4″. If you’re going to use bigger rings, maybe more.

c. Really no issues with pinching inside with PA fixing?

Not with the smaller PA ring, no. Occasional. Not serious.

5. Finally, I also want to order a urethral insert for some added fun from time to time. (I realize I probably have to remove the PA for that).

a. Do you use the insert with your Steelheart or only on your Looker?

b. Any thoughts on how long the insert should be? It appears to be longer on the Looker (extends past the A Ring) then the add-on option in Steelworxx’s offerings. Is this purely personal choice or are there any security benefits?

c. Does your insert have a bulb on the end? If yes, do you like it? Does it help with leakage?

d. Does the insert have a cap to screw on the end or is it always open at the end and prone to leaking?

A) Only on the Looker 02. B) Dietmar’s default on the L02 worked well for me. It could be a bit longer and still work. I’d be careful going too long. C) See question above. I do like the bulb. It may help with leakage. D) The insert on the L02 I wear is integrated. No screw (literally).

I’m very sorry this came out so long. Hopefully you didn’t get bored after the first paragraph because your insights would help me feel much more comfortable before throwing down hundreds of dollars. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences with all of us and being such a fantastic source of info.

And now I feel especially guilty for not answering your questions in a timely manner.

Alex asked:

I was reading some of your blogs on the MM Jailbird cage and had a couple of questions in regards to the sizing. Just hoping you could help out if you’re not too busy.

GUILT

I noticed you’ve used the single round ring, double round ring, and oval ring. I’m torn between the double ring and oval ring. I’ve never had an issue wearing a round ring with previous devices (CB6000s, Jailhouse), other than some mild chaffing. Which is most likely because the rings weren’t a custom fit. So I’m not too worried about that happening once I get the correct measurement. I’d like to know if you have any feedback in regards to which ring you’d recommend and/or prefer.

Also, if I end up going with the double base ring I thought I read somewhere that it adds an extra 1/4″ to the length. I plan on getting a proper length measurement and subtracting 1/4″ (MM recommendation). Should I take an additional 1/4″ off again to compensate for the double ring?

I have a double oval ring on the Jail Bird and recommend it. The oval shape leaves room for tender bits and the double width means less “cutting” by the ring (their default width is too narrow, IMO). The double ring does indeed add a bit of length (you probably read that here) so do cut that back from the overall length you order.

Chris kringled:

I have a CB6000 and am planning to buy a MM JB. One question I have is about the base ring. Can you leave it on, while removing the cage, and then have sex? I’m a bit worried that blood will not flow back if the ring is kept in place. The idea just seems interesting: quickly remove the cage and don’t bother about the base ring. Have sex (but probably no cumming) and then put the cage back on. Do you have any experience with this?

Yep, I’ve done exactly that. The JB ring is about 3mm smaller than my normal cock ring size so the extra constriction isn’t really an issue. You have to remember to rotate the ring upside down so the post doesn’t poke your keyholder (then it sits under your balls but I didn’t have a problem with that).

M said:

Hey, I have read your blog for about three weeks now. First of all, you are very articulate and I can tell that you obey your wife and want to be obedient to her. You are doing a great job and it shows. My Master who I signed a contract back on May 3, 2014; requires that I not have an orgasm. This is very hard to accomplish. I have not been faithful to Master and had four since the order was issued. The most recent was after going two months with an orgasm. I have been instructed to finger my boi pussy any time, I need to obtain pleasure or get horny. Master doesn’t want to put a cage on me, because I am married and have kids. The longer I go without having an orgasm the more difficult, it is with me not cumming. I will make this work. We are back to the beginning and will work hard to obey my order. I have also been ordered not to play with my dick or get it hard.

Extended, unsupervised denial without a device is incredibly hard for me. It’s hard even to obey her rule about not playing with it. I don’t really know what to say that can help you except I totally feel your pain. It’s all about willpower and the one place most men experience the least amount of that is between their hand and their dick, especially when they’re horny.

My advice would be for your Master to let you play with yourself on occasion for a specific period of time (say, five minutes) as long as you promise not to come. That might help a bit. At least then you’d have some outlet for your built-up desires. Alternatively, you could have an extended heart-to-heart with your wife and tell her what you’re doing, etc. It would be a lot more enjoyable, I bet.

An anonymous reader wrote:

First of let me say how useful your blog has been about male chastity. My wife and I are new to this world and we for one are glad about this blog existing – there are many aspects to this experience and you express them well, both the fun times and the not-so-fun times (like the “No then Yes” post). Good job!

Thanks!

I came across your site first thanks to the ever useful “tips and tricks for the cb6000” page. That page helped a lot for the initial introduction to wearing a cb6000. In fact, I think that page ultimately convinced the wife to go ahead with the purchase of the device.

But as I mentioned, we are very new to this. In fact, I think we have only had the device for a month now. And here is where I turn to your advice once more. I am able to wear the cb6000 throughout the day with no problem. In fact, it is so comfortable that I sometimes don’t even realize I am wearing it. We are able to go out, ride bikes, do groceries etc all without incident. This is of course fantastic as I did not expect it to be so easy. But the real issue comes in at night when I try to sleep with the device. I have tried this 4-5 times and it’s a real pain. Like literally a pain in the sack (pun?). This happens almost immediately once I start to lie horizontally, either on my back or on the side.

I know you have written about this in the tips and tricks page – I have tried those suggestions but still with little success. Here are some details: I am currently on the second smallest spacer but still the largest ring. Most of the pain I feel is at the base of the ring (the A ring?) kind of like a burning sensation. Initially it is ok but as the night wears on it gets worse and worse. Like I can’t sleep and need to get up and sit somewhere (the pain is much reduced then but it does not go away instantly). I do put silicon based lube on the A-ring and that helps. But perhaps I don’t put enough lube. I don’t think that I get really strong erections at night because I don’t ever feel “full” in the tube. Right now we go 2-4 days without me cumming so it’s not like I have been starved for weeks. I never have the biting pain near the base of the penis where the tube starts. Perhaps most importantly, I sleep in some shorts that are meant for runners. I usually wear pretty tight briefs but started sleeping without them as I thought that was part of the problem. But as you mentioned, now things just flop around and that may be part of the issue. Sleeping naked did not work either; that was a bad idea.

As you can imagine the biggest danger of unauthorized “action” is likely to happen when the wife is fast asleep. So far no incidents, but 2-4 days is easy going. 5 days was tough for me (damn you Barbara Bermudo). But besides for that, I want to be locked up for her with the key around her neck, because that is so hot. And she obviously likes that too.

That’s tough. I can tell you the CB6K ring is a bitch and I recall being in a lot of pain sometimes as well. The more lube, the better, I found. Moving to steel resolved nearly all the kinds of issues you’re describing, though a certain amount of them are unavoidable. An in between measure would be looking into the Holy Trainer. MUCH more comfortable ring, IMO. Also, with time, your scrotum will stretch out. That will lead to fewer ball sack problems.

Some men I’ve heard from and whose accounts I’ve read never figure out how to handle the nocturnal wood in a CB6K. It’s not the end of the world, though I understand where you’re coming from.

I had read recently on a blog that the cb3000 had a larger ring (not shipped initially). If you contacted the company they would send it to you. I wonder if the same is true for the 6000? Apparently 2 mm does matter (hah, another pun?).

I don’t know anything about that. As far as I know, the only rings available for the CB6K are the ones packed in with it.

I am not sure if there is any advice you have but I thought I’d try anyway. It’s much appreciated.

Thanks a lot for this blog and taking the time to write solid material!

GUILT

Vicky wanted to know:

I stumbled across your blog when someone left a review on lovehoney website about the cb6k and said they had recently been reading your blog. Curiosity got the better of me, so I started reading and then I was hooked! I decided the only way to fully understand the situation, was to read from the beginning. I am currently at August 2010 and obviously have a long way to go!

You might cover the following questions/comments in later blogs so I apologise in advance if this is the case!

1. I noticed Belle had answered a few questions in the blog and I was wondering if she has done anymore blogging? I would love to hear more of her views, sort of a he said/she said type of thing.

She hasn’t. Alas. But stay tuned. Developments developing on that front, perhaps.

2. Have you written any more porn? I read the hotel room one, where you described a situation in which you were exposed in front of a window. I really enjoy your style of writing and your way of describing situations, that make the text come to life.

I have, but I haven’t finished any of it or published it. I have more ideas than time and writing it while locked up and denied is unexpectedly difficult. I get too worked up to think straight.

3. Have you got any tips for complete beginners, starting out experimenting with chastity? In my relationship, I think we would both enjoy taking turns being a top and a bottom but are unsure how to take the first steps. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Whew. Big question. For a guy, I’d say get a Holy Trainer and have fun. Take baby steps at first, don’t worry about doing it “right” as long you’re both enjoying it.

4. I just wanted to say I am thoroughly enjoying reading the journey of discovery that both of you are on. I also want to say ( as I have seen you post that a large percentage of people are not bothered by HNTHUMPER) I really enjoy seeing these pictures, please continue to post them 😉 I completely agree with Belle, when she said the steel heart looks better. For something made of metal, I strangely think it looks really natural.

Thanks! Speaking of dirty pictures, I posted this to Tumblr today. Not full-on filth, but close.

Bob enquired:

Would you ever consider broadcasting on Skype or Cam4 and have Q&A conversation about chastity. Not a broadcast showing nudity or body parts… legit chastity Q&A?

You mean like a broadcast to a large audience? I can’t say I have thought of it, but I wouldn’t be opposed, I guess. The main issue would be protecting Belle’s privacy, of course. I wonder if there would be any interest in that kind of thing (he asked unselfconsciously).

That’s all I got for now. Again, apologies to all for the long wait.

September 3, 2014

The sporting life

Venerable chastity blogger Tom (I bet he just loves being called “venerable”) expounded on something the other day I’ve been meaning to get back to for a little while: Chastity and exercise.

His opening bit about looking for the perfect device that allows for movement and comfort yet is inescapable and undetectable and light and cheap and perfectly hygienic and sexy and not actually carved from a block of solid unobtanium was pretty funny to me because it is how a lot of guys are, especially when they start out, and not entirely unlike how I was at one time. While new devices are still intriguing to me, I’ve got enough time under my belt (ahem) to know the Goldilocks device just isn’t out there. But I digress…and we’re only on the second paragraph.

Tom’s post (and apparently this one) was about how one exercises and stays active from the point of view of a person invested in “the chastity lifestyle.” His ultimate advice is fairly simple:

After a dozen or more years of reading chastity oriented groups, it occurred to me that I don’t remember anyone saying something like “It’s not a life-support system, it’s only a sex toy. Just take the damn thing off for an hour, why don’t you?”

Tom is an eminently reasonable fellow. Very Spock, in a way. I find his point of view to often be practical and not especially emotional. That’s not a bad thing. Not at all. But it’s a difference between he and I. I’m more…I don’t know. I don’t want to say emotional, though I am that. I’m more sentimental. I’m more idealistic, perhaps. And I think enforced chastity is emotional more than it’s practical.

In any event, I recall back to when I started doing the regular gym thing. Got a trainer and everything. I can’t recall at the moment which device I was in at that time (probably the Steelheart), but I do recall suggesting to Belle I might need to have an easily accessible key in order to take the device off while working out. She wouldn’t have any of that. I had to see my trainer (actually, trainers since I was handed off to one of three people including a 6’5″ West African and a tight lesbian kick-boxer) locked up. I don’t know if it was that she didn’t trust me to have access to the penis or if she just didn’t want to break the dynamic. Maybe both.

At the time, I was terrified. Gyms are pretty masculine places and I’ve never been good in especially masculine situations. Now she was telling me I was going to need to go into that wearing flimsy gym clothes and an odd, hard bulge in my crotch. The solution to this predicament was two-fold. One, I bought some compression shorts. Second, I chilled the fuck out.

In actual fact, I have found no physical reason to be out of a steel device (even with part of it shoved up inside me) while working out at the gym. I’ve done just about every kind of weight-related excercise possible now and there are only a few times it’s even marginally an issue. Tom mentions deadlifts and that’s one example, but I’ve never feared for my safety. All that happens is sometimes the bar will catch on the device rather than sliding smoothly over it like it would with a natural penis. The other time it comes into play is when I’m doing any exercise involving laying on my stomach (like supermans — especially interesting in the Looker 02).

There’s really only two reasons to be unlocked when in the gym and, IMO, they’re both mental. One is you just can’t bear the idea of someone seeing your state and knowing you’re locked up. So much is written about stealth in chastity. It’s one of main things guys want to know about when discussing a new device. How well can it be hidden? Is it visible through jeans? On the one hand, I get that. I do. But on the other, I’m really far removed from caring anymore if some random person sees something out of place between my legs.

Case in point. My current trainer (the only of the original three I liked) has had a neophyte trainer shadowing him for a few weeks. She just sits off to the side while he works with his clients. The first time she was present when I was working out also happened to be when the only clean gym shorts I had available was a light gray pair that is the worst at hiding any kind of protrusion or steel, even in compression shorts. At some point, he had me doing a decline sit-up. With my legs hooked over the end of a declined bench, my shirt pulls up a bit, the shorts lay flat, and whatever’s between my legs becomes its most visible.

C’est la fuckin’ vie.

What are these people going to think? I can tell you, “chastity device” is not even on their list. Most muggles have never even heard of the things. And for those who have? Who can put two and two together? I don’t care. I’m not ashamed. On the contrary. Probably what someone uninitiated with chastity devices (and the hidden kink all around them in general) would think is that I had a really big cock (which is what the Steelheart looks exactly like under clothes). Most men would welcome that, I think.

The second mental reason not to wear it would be the issue of forcibly involving others into your sex life. You could argue (as I have with myself) that any time the device is visible I am risking exposing something about myself to others without their consent that they probably don’t want to know. My rationalization is that I can’t always hide the device, most people will have no idea what it is even if they see it, and I do nothing to be excessively exhibitionist about my sexual proclivities (this blog notwithstanding). There’s a fine line between being cognizant of the rights of others not to be involved in one’s sex play and shaming oneself into non-existence. I’m comfortable with my choices. This is, of course, something that everyone needs to figure out for themselves.

This is getting longer than I thought it would be…

So, to recap, IMO, no reason not to be locked up in a gym. Note I don’t have to change at my gym or shower there. If I did, that would change things for me and require more creative thinking (like, I would do those things elsewhere).

The other physical activity I’ve started doing quite a lot of lately is running. Three to five miles at a time three to four times a week (51 miles in the last month, according to Strava). Almost all the time, I’m wearing either the Steelheart or the Looker 02. In the Steelheart, there is slight yet totally audible clank with every stride. The PA fixing inside the device has some play in it and it along with my PA ring will strike the inside of the tube. There’s no pain or discomfort associated with this. I have no idea if anyone I run by even registers the sound (most runners don’t clank) or, if they do, what they make of it. See above for my position on that.

The Looker 02 can be an issue when running in that the bulb end of the urethral insert can cause irritation in the first day or so of wearing it after having not worn it for a long time. This irritation lasts about 24 hours then is gone. Lately, I’ve worn the looker for weeks at a time and run a lot and don’t feel a thing. I don’t even lubricate the L02 before running. I will when I think about it with the Steelheart, but the sweat usually creates enough lubrication to keep me chafe-free. I’ve never run with a plastic device on. I can’t imagine doing it with the CB6K.

Tom also mentioned biking. Hard to disagree with him there. Biking in a device can be miserable. I don’t like doing it and it’s one of the reasons I prefer running (just one, though — it’s not like I run just because I’m almost always locked up). Interestingly, the one device that’s not as bad on a bike (over the CB6K and Steelheart) is the Looker 02. But yeah, if you’re going to be a serious biker, you’re going to need to take off your device.

The same goes for lots of other sports. Team sports or contact sports. Sports that require cups. Hard to be able to do those in chastity. Dangerous, even. Imagine playing rugby or American football with a steel ring locked around your balls. Good god.

The biggest point of differentiation between Tom’s logical and sensible POV and mine (which, I guess by comparison, is…illogical and insensible?) is summed up his calling the chastity device “only a sex toy.” Of course, it is a sex toy. But the “only” part doesn’t really do it justice. It’s a sex toy that represents something larger. It represents a level of commitment equal to, say, a collar in any other D/s dynamic. While it’s hard to wear a collar in public, it’s relatively easy to wear a chastity device. I think the drive to find the perfect device that can be worn in all situations and at all times stems from those who, like me, see it both as a physical restraint ensuring her control and as a symbolic expression of how significant and profound the changes wrought by denial and chastity can be on a relationship.

Of course, that may not be how you practice chastity. It may not be that big a deal to you or your keyholder. As Tom said,

To be fair, I also see guys on chastity groups try to convince some newb why he could — or even should — wear his device 24/7; often going pretty far in their attempts to overrule objections or concerns. … Such responses probably induce a mindset in new guys which makes them think that 24/7 is the only acceptable way. I mean, why bother if you’re not going to do it the “right” way?

There isn’t a “right way.” The right way is the way that works for you and your partner. I’m not saying if you want to wear a chastity device that you must wear it while at the gym or running or you’re just a pretender. I am saying you can wear it at those times if you’re willing to accept a little discomfort once in a while and/or modify your routine enough to allow it. It’s entirely possible. And if you feel the need to do so, I understand perfectly where you’re coming from.

August 11, 2014

The Reddit tsunami

Yesterday, a thread was started in the WTF Subreddit regarding a chastity device with an urethral insert (never seen it before so no idea who made it). Later on in the thread, after all the “OMG!!1!”-type comments, someone posted a link to my Looker 02 review (specifically mentioning the insertion video).

That was at about 1:00 in the afternoon, give or take. Almost immediately, I got a WordPress notification saying my stats were “booming.” I didn’t see it because it was a nice summer day and I was in the pool. My hourly views were about 13 times average. An hour later, I got another notification I also didn’t see. My hourly views were now 31 time average. Sometime between that notification and the next, I saw what was happening and why. The next bulletin from the WordPress bot was two hours later telling me my hourly views were 42 times my previous hourly average (which was itself inflating due to the tsunami of Reddit looky-loos). The last alert from WP told me I was getting 56 times my previous hourly average.

Screenshot 2014-08-11 08.03.53 — The tsunami, visualized.

So yeah, Reddit can send a site a lot of traffic. At the end of the day, Denying Thumper had received over nine times the traffic from its previous highest day (when Dan Savage linked to me from his column).

This is one of those times where the venn diagram in my head that represents this blog gets fuzzy. On the one hand, yay, eyeballs. On the other, ew, eyeballs. I don’t really want to be a public figure but I do want to share my experiences and thoughts on a subject that isn’t often talked about in polite society. When Dan linked to me, I was thrilled because that audience is pre-qualified as the kind of people I’d like to think are reading me. The Reddit thing is the exact opposite. I was linked to from the WTF Subreddit, for fuck’s sake.

The silver lining came from Caged Bob on the Twitter following my tweet on this event:

I reckon that while the majority would be are fucktards, there will be a few who stick around to read & learn about chastity

This is the big question, of course. How many people curious about chastity and denial will hang around to learn more versus how many were just here to ogle at the freak? WordPress’ stats are pretty rudimentary (and, last time I looked into it, there was no way to integrate Google stats into a hosted blog). Oddly, the page linked to had twice as many views as the number reported as being referred from that post on Reddit. Most of the traffic seemed to hit that page and bail, but the homepage, the chastity advice page, and several others had about three to six times the normal views. That’s encouraging, I guess. Those people did more than skip off the site like a flat stone.

I’ll admit that my initial reaction to this attention was not positive. I don’t like being used as a sideshow freak. I pondered changing the URL to the page so the links would 404 and the prurient voyeurism of those clicking it would go unfulfilled. But I didn’t do that. While I don’t enjoy the attention, I’ll leave everything as it is and take the attitude that more than anything, Reddit is ravenous and will move its attention to some other site quickly enough (as the chart above already shows). The link to me will get buried in the Subreddit and the attention will quickly fade. And maybe 1% of those who found me from there will be open and receptive to what I’m doing here and get something out of it.

Maybe.

May 3, 2014

Mailbag

Rob writes…

First of all, my compliments on your blog. Me and my wife started experimenting with tease and denial and chastity in December 2013. Looking for info on the web, I found your blog. I started at the first post, and have read almost everything up to April 2010 so far. I find it very helpful to read the process you and Belle have been trough and the experiences you have. I see a lot of similarities (but also some dissimilarities).

I feel like a lucky man that my wife wants to give this a try. In general I get the idea she likes it, and that is also what she tells me. But everything is very new to her, and actually to me to. One of the things is that she find it hard to make it difficult for me. She likes to please me as well. I like that too, a lot, but I crave denial and I rather want to please her, and that she loves to be pleased, while I am being denied. I tell her many times, but I get the idea that she doesn’t fully understand my desires. I guess this also has to evolve over time.

Above sounds like it is only about what I want, and not what she wants. When I ask her, the answer is more general like us being happy together (which we are, very much).

I offered her to find a good book on the subject. She really liked the idea. What we are am looking for is a book that explains to her how male submissiveness works, more on a psychological way. Why do want men to be submissive, are they really happy that way, etc…

Also something on how to dominate a man, how to start, how to expand and different styles of femdom. We are not looking for a book describing only Ds-games/scenario’s. Although this will be helpful, she is also very creative.

Do you have a good suggestion for a book?

On your blog, you wrote something about Uniquely Rika. Is this a book you can recommend for starters?

I have also been reading some posts of Sarah Jameson. She wrote some books too, but the site doesn’t seem to be active anymore. Do you know her books? I think they might be interesting. The free ones as well. But I’m not sure if these are still available (at least I don’t get a response when filling in the contact form).

If other readers have suggestions as well, they are welcome as well. Also suggestions from females. Sorry, I don’t want to discriminate here, but my guess is that as a female, you may have a good idea on what might be helpful for my wife to read.

I liked Uniquely Rika a lot. It was the book I was reading when I realized I was actually a submissive and not just playing at it. I also think Sarah Jameson has some interesting things to say on the subject, but her bias against submissive men makes it hard for me to enthusiastically recommend her stuff. The Mistress Manual are Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders are also good. We got those early on. When Someone You Love is Kinky is highly regarded, as well.

Readers? Any other suggestions or advice for Rob?

Nina enquired…

I love your blog for all of the detailed information you give on chastity devices! Thank you for offering such a helpful resource on this subject. I noticed that you have written a lot about the Holy Trainer device and I was wondering if I could ask your advice? I recently received the device I ordered (2nd version, short tube, middle-sized ring, black material). It is very well constructed, looks good and seems reliable and easy to use. Unfortunately, I may have miscalculated or made some mistaken choices on my sizing. I measured myself and felt like the larger base ring would be too loose to hold the device on, especially because the shaft of my penis does not have a large diameter and, though not very tiny in length, is also not long. However, with the short tube, I am pushed very deeply to the end when the device is on all the way and it seems like the scrotum is pulled too far from the body to sit securely or comfortably. In fact, I noticed that with the device fully on and locked, there are still “folds” between my scrotum and the shaft of my penis on the “outside” of the ring, as if the whole package does not fully fit into the device. My question is, do you think this sounds like it would be best remedied with a larger ring or a long tube? I’m afraid that with the large ring, the whole device would not stay on at all and also, conversely, with a longer tube I would not fill it up enough to keep the device securely in place. At the same time, as it fits now, it seems somehow way too easy to slip my penis out of the tube and the ring when I am naturally flaccid. Anyhow, I know you are not one of the Holy Trainer manufacturers, but seeing as you have such extensive knowledge and experience with these devices, I thought I would ask for your view on the subject.

I wonder how tight your scrotum is naturally. Have you worn devices before? The folds of skin don’t sound terribly unusual but I can’t see them so I’m not sure. In any event, if your balls don’t turn blue or purple when you’re hard, the ring probably isn’t too tight. I found that my scrotum became much more flexible with time. Erections pushing against the tube anchored to my ball sack over and over stretched the skin. It may be the case that your scrotum is of the “high and tight” variety. The middle ring for the Holy Trainer is 45mm and I think that’s pretty darn big. It’s big on me, anyway. Sounds like, if anything, you may want to consider the 40mm ring.

You say your penis is all the way to the end of the tube when wearing the device and you’re flaccid. That’s perfect. Just the way I like it.

Regarding being able to pull out easily, that, I’m afraid, is just how it’s going to be. If you penis is much thinner than typical, it will probably feel even less secure. What it sounds like you need is a thinner tube, not just a shorter one. I don’t think you’ll find that on the over-the-counter plastic device market. You’ll need some custom steel. Also, a smaller ring would help. That being said, I found the Trainer to feel a little less secure than other plastic device I’ve worn. Also, of course, trapped-ball devices just aren’t terrifically secure things in general.

Hope that helps!

Reader Recon requests…

Hey there, Thumper. You have an awesome blog here. I’ve been reading it for a few years. It is very interesting to hear your first-hand account of being locked up and denied over the long term. As a matter of fact, yours is the only blog I read related to chastity. You’re also very sexy to read.

I’ve been interested in chastity since coming out 20 years ago. While at university, I bought a Carrara belt (back before they were known as Carrara), a used Tollyboy, and an original used Bird Cage. Since then, I’ve also picked up a CB-2000, one of the stainless steel guys from Mr. S, and a Dickcage. And lately I’ve had my eye on a couple of the more basic pieces from Steelwerks up in Montreal.

I haven’t really been locked up properly, lacking a guy who wants to control things, but I’ve played around with it now and then. I find that my biggest problem is using the restroom. Normally I run a finger up the entire length of the cock, from the perineum up to the head, to press out those last few drops of piss. Otherwise, I end up leaking, which I find quite annoying. Obviously if my cock is encased in stainless steel or plastic, I can’t do that. So I leak. Is this a problem that you have encountered? Any tricks to get those last few drops out?

Yeah. That.

This is a problem I deal with daily. The only tricks I can offer is to shake the damned thing out as well as you can, dab up as much excess as possible with toilet paper and exercise your Kegel muscles. Then, after all that, try to learn how not be so bothered by it and rinse the tube out when warm water at night and with soap and water in the morning. I wish I had the magic bullet to fix this, but it just is what it is.

Another reader announced…

Foreword: I am very much drunk (I don’t think I would have had the confidence to write to you otherwise).

I just want you to know that I identify with the way of life you have described in your blog. Your writings have helped me explain my sexual desires to my fiancee in a way that previously made me feel alienated and alone.

I guess all I have to say is thank you for your blog (and also thank you to Belle, of course).

And I guess all I have to say is thank you right back. And good for you (and your fiancee).