Category: Chastity Nerdery

Those posts where I (mostly) drone on endlessly about living in enforced chastity.

Posted on

The best male chastity device

A bit over a year ago, I was asked by a reader what the best male chastity device on the market was. I penned (keyed?) a missive on my thoughts and threw it out upon the waves of the World Wide Web to float among the other jetsam and debris like any other post and moved on.

But then a funny thing happened. People, it turns out, Google “best male chastity device” quite a bit and, through a happy coincidence of longevity and narrow subject matter, this site does pretty well in those kind of searches. That post I chucked out there one afternoon without a great deal of fanfare all of sudden started being among the top visited here every day.

Turns out, I no longer agree with my conclusions from 15 months ago. So I will, with this post, reassess the field in a slightly more thoughtful way than before.

Gray stuff

When people ask me about chastity, they’re usually coming from a pretty particular point of view. They are not the kind of people looking to wear a device or have their man wear one for a simple evening’s romp. They’re usually thinking about it in the same way Belle utilizes it with me in our marriage. That is, a semi-permanent thing leading to long-term orgasm denial (“long-term” having no set definition, just longer than a day or a week). They’re also usually (the guys, anyway, though occasionally their partners, too) really hot and bothered over being locked in the mythical impossible-to-defeat device that they can’t ever take off no matter how hard they want to OH GOD how horny CAN. I. GET!?

I’m sorry. That device does not exist.

Not as an off-the-shelf thing, anyway. You hear about these inescapable devices in the hawt chastity porn, but you might notice their description is always a little vague. That’s because the flaccid male penis has all the structure and significance of an octopus arm. It really can’t be easily contained. A guy, especially a wet and soapy one, can get it into and out of all kinds of crazy little nooks and crannies as long as his fleshy friend stays soft. So no, there is no trapped-ball device (that is, one that is worn around the penis and scrotum) that cannot be defeated with little more than cursory effort.

Yes, I know, a trapped-ball device can be made inescapable, but only if you’re willing to get a genital piercing like a Prince Albert. For a lot of guys, that’s way over the line. Short of that, no, there is no inescapable trapped-ball device, I don’t care what that one guy on Chastity Mansion wrote.

This is why I say the very best chastity device is the one between your ears. I know (trust me), the idea of being forced against your will to remain locked and horny is a significantly powerful fantasy, but it is just that. A fantasy. You, as the man being locked up, have to be invested in staying locked up. That means, you need to have the will power not to cheat and slip out the back for a quick wank when nobody’s looking. If you can’t do that, then don’t even bother with anything else. Don’t even bother your partner with the idea. Chances are very good you want to be locked up. So let yourself be and don’t fuck it up.

Personally, when I’m in an easily-escaped device, I tell myself it’s not. I suspend my disbelief and act as though there’s no way out for me and I’m stuck with my fate. I also think very hard about the commitment I made when I allowed Belle to lock me up in the first place. I do it for her as much as myself. I do it for us.

I view the device as what it is: Not an impenetrable fortress, but a symbol of respect for an agreed-upon dynamic I asked for in the first place.

So, before we get to the aspects that should be considered when choosing a device, the very best way to enforce male chastity is to get your brain on straight. The best device is the one in your head.

Devices

I’ve worn twelve (12?!) different chastity devices over the years: CB-6000 (both clear and “chrome” edition, standard tube length), CB-5000, Holy Trainer v1 and v2, Birdlocked Neo/Mr. S Boytrainer 2.0, Steelworxx Steelheart (one larger, one smaller), Steelworxx Looker 02, Mature Metal’s Jail Bird (two different devices), and the KHD X3 espresso 3D-printed device. I can tell you right off that I wouldn’t recommend the CB-5000 or any device made of silicone. The CB5K is an odd duck because it requires a PA piercing and all silicone devices pretty much suck as chastity devices. No, they just do. Trust me.

That said, there are five attributes I judge when considering devices: Cost, comfort, perceived security, hygiene, and stealth.

Cost

You can spend anywhere from about a hundred bucks for a 3D-printed device to thousands and thousands for one custom-made of stainless steel. If you’re just starting out, my advice is to stick with plastic. The most popular device is certainly the CB-6000 which will run you about $150. The other leading plastic device is the Holy Trainer. It costs a bit more (about $170). Custom stainless from manufactures such as Mature Metal in Texas or Steelworxx in Germany will average about twice plastic once you factor in options (though they can be had for less with fewer bells and whistles [no, not literally bells and whistles]). The KHD X3 espresso can be had out the door for under $100, but it’s not without issues.

Protip: If you go with the Holy Trainer, don’t buy it from their site. Some people end up getting charged exorbitant duty fees (though, for some reason, not all). I got mine from Kept For Her. Paid a little less with shipping and had no nasty surprises from the government. 

Personally, I wouldn’t cheap out on something that will spend hours and days locked onto what is likely the part of your body you have the closest and most emotional connection to. Buy name brands from reputable retailers and check Google for reviews. Cheap devices fail (usually by splitting along seams) which can lead to injury or they aren’t finished very well and have spots that rub or cause discomfort.

Thinking about a newbie, it’s hard not to give the edge in this category to the CB-6000. Its price is reasonable and you get a lot of sizing options in the box. The only thing you need to decide when ordering is how long you want the tube (and you probably want the short one, sorry). Even though the KHD X3 is the cheapest I’ve worn, the device has too many other shortcoming to recommend at this time.

Regarding steel, keep in mind that the Steelworxx site displays all its prices in Euros including VAT (value-added tax). If you’re outside the European Union, you don’t pay the VAT. Register an account with your shipping address to see the real prices. I think Mature Metal and Steelworxx are about a wash, price-wise, for those in the United States, but I find their designs to be different enough that it doesn’t matter. Most seem to gravitate towards one look over the other anyway.

Comfort

Enforced chastity is, by its definition, not always a walk in the park. Penises grow while devices don’t. However, it’s also not supposed to be a test of pain tolerance. In a well-fitted device, one’s discomfort should be limited to feeling the pressure of an erection being arrested and contained. Depending on how you’re wired, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Far from it.

The degree of comfort desired is also something of a personal choice. Some men and/or those who lock them up are trying to inflict erotic pain as part of the chastity experience. Some devices have add-ons or options specifically designed to make a penis trying to be erect very uncomfortable. I don’t think these kinds of tactics are good for the kind of long-term thing Belle and I practice, but it’s entirely possible excessive comfort isn’t on one’s shopping list.

Plastic device design has advanced quite a bit in recent years. In this category, the CB-6000 scores very low in my book. Its rings are perfectly round and have sharp edges and gaps and seams that bite into the base of erections and cause sores. Wearing a CB6K can be a miserable experience. The Holy Trainer, by comparison, is significantly better thanks to it’s ergonomically-shaped A-ring (the part that goes around the penis and scrotum). The KHD X3 is also quite comfortable.

On the steel side, Steelworxx offers an “anatomical ring” which is slightly bent to allow some testicular pluming from getting crimped. I find the Mature Metal A-rings to be too narrow, though they will build them double-width if you ask (and I think you should). MM also has an oval option which, like Steelworxx’s anatomical ring, is meant to allow the testes extra room. I also recommend that.

Plastic or metal, sizing is critical. Read my chastity sizing guide for tips. Short story is, the tube should be the size of your normal flaccid penis. You might think a longer tube would be better for when you get hard. You would be wrong. Smaller tubes are better.

Comfort is the thing most people are thinking about when they decide to go with a silicone device. I found these devices to be difficult to size and keep on. Also, an erection in a stretchy, squishy tube is an erection that can be all too easily coaxed into orgasm. I don’t recommend silicone. The Holy Trainer is just as comfy and feels like a real enforcement of chastity.

Security

I know, I said there wasn’t any such thing as security in a chastity device. It’s true, unless you want to punch a hole in your dick (which, all by itself, is pretty fucking hot, but totally a personal taste thing). However, some devices feel more secure which can be very helpful in the little game I think we should play with ourselves regarding the total inaccessibility of the penismeat.

To a large extent, the feeling of security is a product of fit. A loose, ill-fitting device won’t feel secure at all while a nice tight one will but may cause you too much pain to wear during the fun parts.

Some devices feel more secure as a result of their design. The Holy Trainer, for example, with its sleeker and simpler construction creates a greater illusion of security than the CB-6000. The KHD X3 never really felt that secure to me while I was wearing it for some reason. This may be something that varies from person to person.

Devices like the Looker 02 from Steelworxx feel a tiny bit more secure thanks to their integrated urethral inserts. They have hollow tubes that go inside the penis and extend a bit past the back of the device. This may sound like the worst possible torture you can imagine, but I’ve actually found Belle’s Looker 02 to be the most comfortable metal device she locks on me. The hollow tube in the penis is far from uncomfortable. In fact, it can be very stimulating.

Hygiene

In general, metal stays cleaner than plastic and open designs like the Jail Bird stay fresher longer than closed tubes like on the Steelheart. This is another thing where fit is important. If the tube is well fitted with an absence of space inside while the penis is flaccid, more urine will flow out and less will be trapped. If the design features a cage, this is not an issue at all (though errant urine streams and splashing can be a problem).

If pee squicks you out, chastity may not be for you. It’s part of the bargain. That love rocket you’re having locked to the launch pad is also the main way you eliminate waste from your body. There’s just no getting around that chastity devices need to be attended to or they’ll start to stink.

Stealth

Stealth has two components: Visible and audible.

In my testing, I found on the plastic side that the Holy Trainer was the least visible through clothing. For metal, both the Jail Bird and Looker 02 were pretty sneaky. Note that I was wearing the short Trainer tube and the two metal devices are both about the same size. The solid tube of the Steelheart makes a rather more noticeable lump. The KHD X3 was also very good in this department, I think mostly because it lays very flat with little forward protruding.

If you live in a situation with children as I do, audible stealth is also critical for those time when you’re padding around house in your pajamas or sweats. The CB-6000 has a separate lock that clicks against the tube as you walk while the Holy Trainer’s lock is integrated and silent. Both Mature Metal and Steelworxx offer integrated lock options (for MM, it’s a security screw rather than a lock and key). The KHD X3 also has an integrated lock (the same kind as is used on the Trainer and Steelworxx devices).

Another advantage of the integrated locks is they leave a lower profile to show through your clothing.

Conclusion

My old advice for newbies was to go with the CB-6000. However, the second generation Holy Trainer is a better device in nearly every way. It’s simpler to use (only three pieces rather than seven) and so much more comfortable. However, it is more expensive and you need to be more certain of your ring size then ordering. Another issue that seems to follow the Holy Trainer around is breakage. The plastic they use is affected by body heat in a way that makes it a bit pliable (though not much). Some people report the tube cracking and breaking, but I’ve not had that problem (and, with my last unit, really tried to “accidentally” break it). Personally, I have no problem recommending the Trainer with that caveat. I think its design is that much better than the now long-in-the-tooth CB-6000.

On the metal side, it’s really about aesthetic preferences and how important each of the above variables are to you. I prefer Steelworxx designs, but Mature Metal makes a very good product and their customer service is fantastic. Also, their domestic location makes communication and alterations much easier for US-based buyers. I don’t recommend anyone’s first device to be custom steel. It can be tricky getting the fit right and, until you know chastity is something you really want in your relationship, it’s a more than insignificant investment.

Which do you think is the best? Leave a comment below.

Posted on

Mailbag

Quick one today. Reader Alex opines…

Hey Thumper, love your blog! My girl friend and I have recently started to experiment with chastity. She loves the idea of being able to send me on business trips locked! But we have a couple concerns. The main one is sleeping in the device (Holy Trainer 2). She has read some horror stories about things happening at night, rolling and breaking it, cut off circulation, pain, ect. Do you have any advice or know about any of these risks? She is very nervous about it.

Also, have you tried to fly or go through security in the holy trainer 2?

I don’t think the Holy Trainer (1 or 2) would just break from rolling over in bed. At least, not the ones I’ve worn. Breakage of that device still baffles me. I never found it to be all that fragile, especially at body temps.

Will it cut off circulation? Perhaps, if it’s not fitted properly. It will be tight, but your balls shouldn’t turn purple or get cold. If so, the A-ring is too small. They might flush a darker red. That’s not unusual.

Pain. Well, it’s a little plastic tube and your erection is probably a lot bigger than it is. That said, it’s not pain so much as compression. I find the Holy Trainer (1 and 2) to be quite comfortable even while the penis is doing its usual morning thing. If you feel actual pain, again, it’s probably not fitted too well. I’ve gone on at some length about fitting a chastity device.

I don’t think she should be nervous. As long as you’re paying attention to the signals you’re getting from your body and nothing it turning cold and blue, it’s all good. No permanent damage is likely.

Regarding security, the HT will go through a metal detector just fine. The large walk-in scanners, though, should be able to detect it. I’ve had readers tell me they’ve done so without incident while I’ve read others who have said they got patted down. Probably you’d be OK, but there’s no guarantee and each trip through is a roll of the dice as I think it’s highly dependant on the operator of the scanner and their discretion.

When I travel with the Steelheart, Belle lets me go to the airport unlocked. I keep the SH in my carry-on and, once through security, I lock it on in the bathroom and send her a picture as proof. You could do something similar with the HT, but then you need to figure out a way to secure the key in a tamper-proof manner. Something like the Steelworxx key safe is nifty, though expensive. There are other homemade solutions out there if you’re handy enough.

Bonŝancon!

Posted on

Protecting muggle sensibilities whilst naked

Me on Twitter this AM:

The place I get my hair cut is right across the street from where I work. Super convenient and the nice gay man who cuts me is obsessive compulsive about it and makes me feel like I get my money’s worth (and it’s more than most people would pay for a simple haircut, I’m sure). They’ve been building a massage room there for about the last ten years (or so it seems) and the masseuse they have is really good (if a 15 minute chair massage is any indication). I’ve been very excited about the prospect of having a massage option so close and convenient and have been bugging them every time I’m there about when they were going to start accepting table massage clients. Today is that day. So I booked a 90 minute rub down.

Problem is, the above tweet (and its fucking typo1). I’m still locked up. Of course, I am not embarrassed by this. No, really. If the dude giving me the massage was in on my private life and cool, I’d be perfectly happy staying inside the thing as Belle wants and/or answering any questions my state would raise for him, but I really don’t know him. Plus, of course, reputable massage therapists are always having to fend off jokes and innuendo about their profession, so the good ones treat anything sexual like kryptonite. Plus plus, it is entirely uncool to bring someone into your kink without consent.

This is something I struggle with when seeing the trainer. I know for a fact he’s seen the odd bulge in my shorts and I do little to hide it (though I do do a little). There’s a fuzzy line between not dragging someone into your kinky sex life against their will and needing to live your life as you’ve chosen. In the case of the trainer, I feel like I’m on the right side of it. In the case of a (presumed) muggle masseuse, wearing a device that would be obvious through the sheet and/or clank a little when I roll over definitely is not. I get the concept of being forced into a potentially embarrassing situation like that might be uber hot in a chastity femdom porn story, but seriously. Not in real life.

Processed with VSCOcam with b4 preset

Since I forgot all about it, I don’t have Belle’s key which means I need to break into the one I have in case of emergency. Kinda bummed about that for no other reason than I’ve been able to maintain seal 1871290 since mid-March of last year. Now it has to die and be replaced with another silent key keeper.

It’s possible, I suppose, he’ll put a thick towel over me or a heavy sheet. And it’s possible that towel or sheet would be enough to hide the odd bulk of the Steelheart. But I recall one massage I got (at the Grand Californian at Disneyland of all places) where the sheet was ridiculously thin. Thin enough to figure out if the penis was circumcised. For real. Had I been locked, all would have been known instantaneously. It just seems really super creepy to me to not do something about the device if I can. Of course, I can. So I will.

While writing this, I’m still locked up. I’ll stay that way until I undress when I’ll pop the key and take the Steelheart off. Then, when redressing, I’ll put it back on. I’ll only be unlocked during the actual massage. Assuming, of course, that the key in the key safe is the right key. Damn. Just thought of that. Fuck.

Well…it is what it is. I’m pretty sure it’s the right one. We’ll know at about 3:10 this afternoon. Here’s hoping for that super thick towel or heavy sheet just in case…

UPDATE: The idea that I had the wrong key freaked me out enough to break into it and give it a test. Yes, it’s the right one. And yes, I’m still locked up.

1 Seriously, Twitter!? We STILL can’t edit fucking tweets? Facebook figured this out years ago now.

Posted on

How to measure for a male chastity device

“How do I measure for a chastity device?”

I get this question a lot. Just yesterday, someone on Twitter asked for the advice. I’ve never put it all in one place but have decided to do so for two reasons. First, it’ll make those looking for the information more likely to find it and, second, it’ll save me the time of having to say it over and over. And over again.

There are three measurements you need if you’re trying to size a trapped-ball style chastity device even if you’re going to buy a mass-produced one (like the Holy Trainer or CB-6000):

  • Flaccid penis length (tube/cage length)
  • Flaccid penis diameter (tube/cage diameter)
  • Circumference of both the penis and testicles combined (A-ring circumference)

You may also need to specify the gap width between the tube and ring but I’ve always left that to the manufacturer’s default and been satisfied. As far as I know, the only plastic device that lets you play with this is the CB-6000. The others are fixed.

In my experience and opinion, erect size is not a thing you have to worry about since the entire purpose of a chastity device is to arrest and defeat an erection. I’ve been asked if this is still the case for someone who’s a “grower” (i.e., their flaccid size is far smaller than their erect size) and my guess is no, but I don’t know for sure. I’d be interested to hear the experiences of others in this regard. My hunch is the difference would have to be really big for the erect size of the penis to be an issue. Chances are, sport, that ain’t you. But every penis is like a snowflake: unique. What’s worked for me or the majority of men may not work for all of them.

Also, with regard to issues of erect size, you won’t be doing yourself any favors if you buy a device with room in it thinking it’ll be better for when your dick tries to get hard. Smaller devices are more comfortable than larger ones (as unintuitive as that sounds). If you give the penis a little room to grow inside the device you will experience more pain and discomfort than otherwise, based on my experience. Therefore, you want to determine the normal size of your penis when it’s flaccid and size the device to that.

The thing every owner of a penis knows is that they’re all over the place with regard to size. They shrink up and they plump out (even when you’re not turned on) and can be any size in between. The same goes with scrotums. They’re constantly moving around (seriously, just sit and watch them someday). It is their function, after all, to maintain the temperature of the testes the best they can and that means pulling them closer or letting them hang farther away from your core body heat. Also, some men are “high and tight” in that their scrotums don’t hang down very far at all even when they’re at their most relaxed. Wearing a device is more difficult for these guys, especially at first. Over time and with extended wear, a chastity device will actually stretch a scrotum a bit and loosen that skin up, but it takes a while.

But anyway, as I said, “normal” flaccid size is what you’re looking for. This means a few things. First and most important is to take several measurements over time and at different times. I’d recommend something like 10 or 12 over a few days. Second, try your hardest not to think about what you’re doing. You’re measuring for something that very likely turns you the fuck on so watch Old Yeller or pay your taxes of something beforehand to get your mind off the topic entirely. Otherwise, you know what will happen. Bottom line, nobody knows your penis as well as you do. You know when it’s smaller or larger than normal. If you’re still unsure, err on the short side. If this is a problem for your ego…I can’t help you with that.

Different manufactures use different methods of measuring so make sure you communicate how you did it to them at the time you order. Mature Metal, for example, says you should measure the bottom of the penis. Typically, the penis is measured from the top (at least in my opinion) at the point where its shaft meets your’ pelvis down to the tip. Simple enough.

Most manufacturers want to know the diameter of the penis shaft when ordering. You can eyeball this from above with a ruler but, since penises can sometimes be thicker vertically than they are horizontally, a more accurate way to measure it would be to find diameter from circumference. This can be done a couple different ways. One simple method is to wrap a length of string around it and then measure that against a ruler or tape measure. Alternatively, if you have a tailor’s-style tape measure, you could use that. Once you have the circumference you can find your shaft’s diameter by dividing it by our magical friend π (3.14).

The string method is probably the simplest way to find the total circumference of the entire package though a tailor’s tape is also workable. Mature Metal offers sizing rings to help determine the A-ring size, though remember you’re not sizing a cock ring. Cock rings need to accommodate a full erection and chastity devices don’t necessarily. Initially, I wore a ring that was too big because I sized myself after wearing it all the time, even when I woke up with a raging morning erection.

It’s also worth noting that I’ve found the size A-ring your body can tolerate will change over time, especially during the early days. When first starting out, I discovered I needed a ring that was 2″ (50mm) in diameter. The one I spend most of my time in now is just over 1.5″ (40mm). That’s a huge size swing but it didn’t happen over night. I wore a 45mm ring for several months before moving to 40mm. I think the perfect size for me is actually right now about 42mm. Yes, two little millimeters makes a big difference. What I’m getting at here is you may want to consider ordering two rings up front.

Note that significant changes in your weight or fitness level will also impact the size ring you wear. I’ve needed a slightly larger ring after becoming more active (even though that resulted in weight loss).

The other thing to consider when sizing for an A-ring is the material the device will be made of. Metal is heavier, of course, and I’ve found a ring that fits well when it’s made of lighter plastic will feel too big when used for a metal device.

Another thing I can say about A-rings is they’ll be more comfortable if oval-shaped (sometimes called “anatomically shaped”). It leaves more room for the spermatic cords and vas deferens and other associated plumbing. Constriction of these is the leading cause of pain while in chastity, I’ve found.

Eventually, what you’re looking for is a ring that is snug, but not too tight. You should be able to get your little finger under it when flaccid. When hard, as long as your balls aren’t turning purple and getting cold, it’s not too small. If you’re experiencing testicular pain like a mild version of getting kicked in the balls, it’s probably a little too small (or round). Perfect world, your balls don’t hurt or turn blue (though they may turn a darker color red) but it’s still snug. If the device hangs too low or you can get your fingers through when hard, it’s too big. If your balls pop though when flaccid, it’s also too big (remember, “trapped-ball”). Yes, this is complicated stuff, but there’s a lot of complicated plumbing down there and sensitive tissue.

Of course, all this precise measuring is only really necessary when ordering custom. I DO NOT recommend anyone start out with chastity that way. First thing you should do is buy a plastic device. I recommend the Holy Trainer at the moment but the CB-6000 is also popular for some reason. Get the device that best fits your proportions. In the case of the tube, err on the short side, and in the case of the ring, err slightly larger.

It’s entirely possible you still have questions after all this or comments from your own experience. If so, please feel free to leave a comment below.

Posted on

KHD X3 espresso review

Everyone knows how printers work (more or less): A computer program reads a file and uses its instructions to tell a printer to spray differently colored inks onto a piece of paper in specific places as the paper rolls by underneath. 3D printing is both just like that and also totally different. There’s still a program on a computer and a file with printing instructions, but instead of ink and paper the printer “prints” in layers of plastic. There are actually several different technologies that get lumped under “3D printing” but the most common is one where a machine lays down extraordinarily thin layers of plastic. Just like the head of a conventional printer, many passes are made, one over another, until the object is rendered. The smaller the particle being produced, the higher the “resolution” of the printer. Just like with ink, higher resolution results in greater detail and smoother lines.

3D printers are still pretty expensive. There are many more people with ideas of objects that can be made using them (and people willing to buy those objects) than there are printers. That’s where a company like Shapeways comes in. They have the printers and the infrastructure to list a creator’s item online, accept payment, and then ship the goods once they’re printed up. No inventory since it’s all manufactured on-demand. Want to mount your FitBit on your watch? Someone else did, too, and there’s just what you’re looking for on Shapeways. Lots of weird custom things only a small group of enthusiasts might want which makes them perfect for a print-on-demand type service. Yes, this is the future we’re talking about, but it’s happening right now.

Usually on the internet, one of the first and most profitable applications for new technology involves sex. Things like online video and browser-based credit card transactions were pioneered by the adult industry. So it’s somewhat a surprise to me that there aren’t a ton of 3D printed sex toys out there. Search for “dildo” on the Shapeways site and only two come up. Search for “chastity” and you get nothing.

But, there are chastity devices there. In particular, one that’s getting some attention lately called the KHD X3 espresso.

The typical NSFW images leave the rest of this after a jump… Continue reading “KHD X3 espresso review”

Posted on

Mailbag

Adam made this comment to my CB-6000 tips and tricks page:

hi thumper. sorry for the weird question but, not sure if i missed it but was there any advice you can give please about dealing with the emotional side of being locked in chastity? how to cope/deal with…… not sure how to explain just really struggling here and only been in cb6000 just over 3 days now. lol. very inexperienced. been feeling really anxious etc.

In a way, this whole blog is about that. But since that’s a lot of reading, let me try and summarize.

First and foremost, being locked up is supposed to be fun, hot, sexy, etc. It is not supposed to be anxiety-inducing (well, not the bad kind of anxiety anyway). If you’re not having fun or feeling hot and/or sexy, STOP.

Second, you don’t mention if this is something you’re doing with yourself or a partner. If with a partner, you need to talk it out with them. Was this their idea or yours? Or a joint venture? What were you hoping you’d feel versus what you’re feeling. Try and suss out why it makes you anxious (assuming it’s more than just being really horny which can be enough, I know). I guess what I’m saying is, if this is a dynamic you’re trying out with your partner, they need to be part of the solution.

If it’s something you’re trying by yourself, then take the damned thing off and have an orgasm. When we first started, I could barely go 24 hours being denied. The day after I didn’t come for the first time I was bouncing off the walls. I had to build up to days at a time before days turned to weeks then months. There’s an adjustment period your body has to go through as it processes the hormonal load that usually dissipates after orgasms. So don’t try and jump right to advanced denial. Walk before you run.

Now, all that said, sometimes chastity is supposed to be really frustrating. Sometimes it’s about the struggle of coping with the anxious edge of being locked up and separated from your dick and horny as hell and totally controlled. Just like other types of sadomasochism (because that’s what enforced chastity is), there’s both a good and evil side. Pain can be a total turn on or a terrible turn off. Same pain in the same place administered in the same way, opposite results. Same with chastity. You need to be in the right frame of mind when you enter into it or close enough that the fact it’s happening can coax you over the line. But if you’re freaked out to begin with, it’s not going to work. Good luck!

Alex mused:

Hey Thumper, love your blog! My girlfriend and I have been reading it for a while and just purchased our first chasity device. The Holy Trainer 2. We got the clear normal sized one. Took a couple try’s to get it on. However, whenever it’s on, it protrudes 1-2 inches from my body. Basically pulling the whole device with my balls/penis away. And the pelvic area that protrudes is hard tissue, but not due to being aroused as I had just orgasmed to help that issue. Any advice?

Hmm. That sounds like you’ve got an erection. Pretty typical stuff when sporting wood. If that’s not the case, is it too tight? Are your balls cold and blue? (BTW, cold and blue is a bad thing.) Is your flaccid penis six inches long? You’ve stumped me on that one. Readers?

Had the following exchange with someone getting pinched in their tube by their PA ring:

Hi Thumper – I just received my new Steelworxx CB-Zero and thought you would like to see – http://fetlife.com/users/667861/pictures/34437364

Dims – 45mm Ring, 31mm cage, 82mm length

Fits very well – except night time erections are OUCHHHHHHHH!!! I believe it is pinching between the open rings – basically feels like cloths pins.  Hopefully time will help this a bit, but if this continues I will probably send a message to Dietmar to get a steelheart cage and just use the CB-Zero cage for when my wife wants that one on.  (She loves the look of this cage and having the ever so slight view of what’s going on inside.)

I think there might be some pinching with the PA fixing also – I’m using a 5/8″ 8ga smooth segment ring.  It’s really difficult to tell – do you have any advice on the PA fixing and preventing pinching and/or twisting?

Before I had a chance to reply, he added:

Hey Thumper – I sent you a message yesterday and I wanted to follow up.

I believe I determined the source of the “pinching” with the PA fixing.  I believe the segment ring is getting pushed into the top of the urethra during an attempted erection.  There must just not be enough room in the tip of the cage with the glands and segment ring.  Have you ever heard of this compliant with a Steelworxx device utilizing a captive bead or smooth segment ring?

And I said…

I was going to say it was the ring. I have a segment ring and can’t wear it for the same reason, either in or out of the SH. I’d try a captive bead ring. That’s what I use. Even though my piercing is a 4ga I wear an 8ga ring because it takes up less room in the tube. 

He replied…

Any idea what the difference between the smooth segment ring and captive bead ring is?  Is it lower profile on the bead side?

Me…

In my experience, the edges of the segment ring can be too sharp (and you have four of them). The ball ring has nothing but smooth surfaces. Nothing to bother the very tender tissue inside the urethra. 

I find that my segment ring has exposed edges and those edges are sharp as fuck. I really like the look of a segment ring, but I can’t wear it at all. Captive ball rings FTW.

That’s all, folks. Happy new year!

Posted on

Holy Trainer v2 review

Processed with VSCOcam with b4 preset
What you get in the box.

The second iteration of the Holy Trainer male chastity device was released about 12 minutes after I finished my review of the first. In my experience and opinion, the new version makes what was already the leading plastic device even better.

Note that this review primarily covers how the device has changed in its revised version. For the most complete version of my opinion the Holy Trainer, be sure to also read my review of the v1 Trainer. One NSFW image puts the rest of this post after a jump…

Continue reading “Holy Trainer v2 review”

Posted on

Mailbag

Johnny wanted to know:

Can you explain how  the steelworxx pa fitting works. How does it feel when flaccid or hard? Does it put pressure on the piercing.

The fixing goes through the PA ring and then into the tube and onto the tube’s posts before locking. It allows for easy movement of the ring back and forth and up and down (to an extent) but does not allow for the PA ring to be completely withdrawn (and neither, therefore, is it possible for the penis). I don’t feel it at all when flaccid and will only occasionally feel a pinch when hard if I’m wearing my normal 4ga PA ring. Usually (like now) I’m wearing an 8ga ring and it’s rarely uncomfortable.

Here’s a video (way NSFW) I made a while back that shows how the whole thing comes together.

Tyler asked:

Hey man.  I love your blog about your Looker 02 chastity device.  I am very interested in getting one of these as well.  I have looked at the steelworxx website and I am confused about how I order one for my size.  How do I size myself and know which sizes to buy?  Are you in the US?  Is there anywhere in the US to get them?   Thanks man

There’s three sizes you need to order a Looker 02 (and pretty much any other device like that one): Flaccid penis length, flaccid penis circumference, and flaccid circumference around both the penis and your balls. I recommend several measurements since penises are tricky beasts and move around and back and forth, all on their own accord. Get an average and make sure, if it affects you, to specifically not think about what you’re doing. Also, do not succumb to the temptation to add length for your erection. You’ll be more comfortable in a shorter tube than a longer one.

Note that the circumference of your entire package is probably the one you’ll get wrong. You don’t want whatever size cock ring you wear since a cock ring needs to accommodate a fully erect penis and the A-ring of a chastity device doesn’t. However, if you make it too small, your balls will turn cold and blue and that’s VERY BAD. My advice, assuming you have the budget, is to get two or more rings and/or prepare yourself mentally to be sending your device back at some point to get a new ring.

There are other measurements like the gap between the ring and the tube, but I let Dietmar use his defaults on those and have been satisfied.

No, there is no US location for Steelworxx. It’s basically one craftsman in Germany (as far as I know).

Kerri said:

I’m not expecting you to reply, I just hope maybe you can help my journey.

I’ve been following your blog for over a year now and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for you to share your journey so publicly because I have found a lot of comfort in knowing that my desires aren’t necessarily singular, alone or deviant.

I would like to find an online resource where I can ask for advice in a safe environment.  I don’t know how to process the way I am feeling or how to best explain it to my husband.  I have looked for forums where I might ask advice, but I don’t want to bare my soul to anyone who is likely to think I am weird.

My husband and I have been together for 16 years, married for 12 and have 2 children.  I have always felt the way I do now but am so terrified of losing my husband, I either need to not feel how I do, or ask him to be what I need.

I don’t want to bother you with all our details, but if you can suggest any online resources that might help, please do.  I firmly believe that we can be great together based on the times we have experimented, but I would dearly love some advice on how to approach the situation so that I don’t ruin things between us.

I assume you’re a woman looking to be denied orgasm by your husband, though I suppose you could be the other way around.

I have never been asked this before, if indeed I’m correct about what you’re asking. You are not alone or deviant. Not at all and not in the slightest. My first advice would be to get yourself a FetLife profile and find a group of people like you and/or in your area. There’s also the book When Someone You Love is Kinky. You could get that and give it to your husband when you have the talk.

Other than that, I’m not sure what to say except that YOU ARE NOT A FREAK and if your husband loves you, he won’t think you are either. I have been where you are and felt as you do and am so much happier now to own who I am and what makes me happy. You will be, too, someday. I promise.

I ask my readers (many of whom are women) to chime in with their perspectives.

Niklas opined:

Sorry for the following cheesyness, but i really need to get this off my chest first:

“WOW!!! I stumbled upon your blog recently and its absolutely insane how much time and effort you seem to be devoting into it. Hands down: This is probably the best and most authentic ressource on the topic that i’ve seen and your videos and, posts and reviews have been a tremendous help and encouragement to give this whole thing a spin. Thank you SO MUCH for this great blog and keep keep up the good work”

You’ve got me to the point where i’m (quite literally) a mouseclick away from odering my first ever device and i’m sort of torn between the HolyTrainer 2 and the Steelheart. To me the trainer seems to make a lot more sense anatomically speaking and the steelheart seems to be kind of hard to keep clean…

However the price difference is not thaaaat big and you said the steelheart hangs lower (so is less visible?!) and generally metall i guess would be better. Also I have a PA so that would be a plus for the Steelheart.

I would still tend to the trainer but you seem to have such good experience with the Steelheart…

Also I’m wondering if there is a limit as to who can buy the smaller tubes with the Trainer. If i understand correct „the more squezed everything is, the more comfy, because an errections just doesn’t even built up“?

Maybe you’d give some advice to a novice if you have a minute. I’d be really really psyched.

Get the Holy Trainer 2. If you really dig it, upgrade to steel with a PA fixing later on.

The size of the tube is related to the size of your flaccid penis, not your erection. I can’t explain why, but giving your hard-on more room ends up being more painful than not.

Steph wanted to know:

Just looking for advice on what would be the best chastity for allowing one to workout .. these would be the areas i’d be considering —

cycling (spin classes and road bike), running, swimming, pilate/yoga

The choosing from my point of view really would seem to come down to having any behind-the-sac rings or going with tubes that would be kept on by pa piercings. i like the concept also of urethral tubes, but not too sure how that would go with working out.

A few months ago, I wrote this. Touches on a lot of what you’re asking.

That said, I don’t think any device will work for you doing pilates or yoga. Too much stretching, etc., and I’m assuming you aren’t interested in everyone seeing what’s locked between your legs. Steelworxx has several interesting devices (like this one) that don’t go behind scrotum, but I haven’t worn any of them. Perhaps one of those would be better for those kinds of activities.

That’s all I have right now. Regular apologies to those who waited for a reply.

Posted on

Mailbag

A dude calling himself shinycell asked:

I’ve been a lurker for a few years and finally ordered a Steel Heart with CB fix and anatomical ring. It is awesome. My wife loves it and what it does. Oh… I love it too.

I’ve had it since May and find that after about a week, with her daily teasings, I get a crazy pinching between the A ring and tube…on both sides of the tube. that bunch of skin gets trapped between. It gets pretty bad to break skin and I have to go without til it heals.

I can tell that my scrotum gets pretty full after a week. Not a blue swelling, but just a fullness. It goes away after I take the tube off.

I’m wondering if you’ve had a similar experience with the pinching. I was thinking, haven’t tried, if the fullness would go away with a milking :). The A ring is a 50 and I’ve worn cockrings that size for weeks without the fullness, so I don’t think it’s too small.

No, I don’t think your ring is too small. It sounds like the space between the ring and the tube is. Did you go with the standard gap or change it? For me, the standard spacing was fine, but you might need to have Dietmar tweak it. Also, did you get the vaguely named “stainless steel ring?” The Steelheart I wear has that. It’s supposed to make the edge of the ring not so sharp. Perhaps he could add that if you don’t have it already.

WRT to milking, that would relieve buildup from your prostate, not your balls. I’m very familiar with the swelling you’re talking about. Pretty sure that’s unused testicular product backing up in the epididymis. In fact, that swelling is pretty obvious in this picture I posted to Tumblr earlier today. It would definitely get pinched by a tube with either too sharp an edge or too small a spacing (or both).

Aaaaand, that’s it. Thought I had more, but all the rest either needed no reply or were simple email replies.

Posted on

The Stocking Method

I mentioned the other day that I was going to be wearing the Holy Trainer v2 for a while in order to write up a review of it. The tube of the small HTv2 is fairly tight (about an inch high and maybe an inch and a third wide) and squishing an octopus-like flaccid penis into it is rather tricky. This is compounded by the unique nature of the biosourced resin used in the device. It’s softer and grippier on the surface than the kind of polycarbonate used in a device like the CB-6000 (though nothing as soft and grippy as silicone).

In any event, a device such as this requires employment of the venerable “stocking method” of penis insertion. Just clip the end off an old pair of women’s stockings (or a very thin pair of men’s stocks, I suppose) and do what I do in this video.

[wpvideo xyqoMprX]

The benefit of the stocking method is it puts the end of the penis about as far as it’ll go into the device. In the HTv2 (perhaps due to the sticky nature of the resin used), this means it will stay down in there pretty well and not sneak back up the tube. I find this makes urinating easier and may even help keep things cleaner.

The full review will likely be posted in a week or so.