Category: Chastity Nerdery

Those posts where I (mostly) drone on endlessly about living in enforced chastity.

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Updates of a random nature

I was away from Belle for two nights, so I was very happy to see her yesterday. Also happy that she let me massage her feet for 45 minutes and rub a kink out of her back, all while watching Mad Men. Before that, I made everyone dinner and cleaned up. It felt good being back and doing things for her.

The comments and pingbacks I got from my post from last Friday helped a lot. I’ve come to find myself agreeing with All For Her completely. My issue was having expectations of sex. I decided, somehow, that she was likely to want it, so when she didn’t I was upset. I can’t not want sex, of course, but expecting it is a bad idea. If you read the few posts I wrote prior to Friday’s, you’ll see a much more contented bunny and it’s all got to do with what my expectations were at the time. So yeah, All For Her nailed it.

I also think pasterychef touched on a good point. Regardless of whether or not we have sex, it’s very important to my mental well-being that Belle acknowledge my condition and position. As has been pointed out many times before, there’s a difference between denial and neglect. It’s a fine line that anyone doing the denial could find themselves crossing without even know it if they didn’t pay attention to their sub. I’m not saying that’s what Belle did in this case, but it’s worth mentioning.

Last night was an example of the right way to do this. As we watched Mad Men and the end of the Dallas/Giants game1, Belle had me get naked and lay next to her. She rested her head against my chest and gently touched me around the device and along my inner thigh and told me how much she liked the look of its shiny newness and how she enjoyed leaving me locked up in it. She’d also occasionally slap my nuts rapidly which, while not causing very much pain, was uncomfortable while she was doing it. The combination of all this drove me into very deep subspace and left me feeling as though I was entirely hers, to do with whatever she liked. I was kept by her. If she wanted to be gentle, she was gentle. If she wanted to be rough, she was rough. I just writhed in the light of the candles and football, my body very obviously desirous of sex and ready, but totally unneeded since she wasn’t interested. These feelings in me were accentuated by a comment she made earlier that suggested she did want an orgasm, but in the fullness of time and after the foot and back massage and drama and football, was something in which she was no longer interested. I went to sleep feeling very much loved.

This morning, she let me out of the device. I had developed a raw spot under the right side of the ring on my scrotum. I get this, to one degree or another, almost every time I get locked up, but usually at the beginning of the period, not after a couple weeks. Since she was going to let me out in the next few days anyway, she unlocked me so I could recover more quickly. Once out, I found a few more surprises from the new device. Turns out, the inside of the tube is not finished as well as the outside. I don’t know how they apply the silver coating, but it appears to be sprayed on and not very well deep inside the tube. Down there, the coating actually has a rougher texture than the regular, clear tube. Once out of it this morning, I found a black residue on the lower two-thirds of the shaft of the cock. Even in the shower, the color was hard to remove (kinda like permanent marker, but not as dark).

My other surprise was a little sore on the corona of the glans. I could feel it last night, so I just got it, but I suspect it’s there due to the rougher texture within the tube thanks to the unfinished paint job.2 The fact that it’s there means I’m going to have to inspect the meat every two or three days when it’s in that device. Perhaps, as the extra paint wears away, it’ll become smoother, but in the mean time, it’s an issue.

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1 A game in which I would have liked seeing both teams lose somehow. ↩

2 This mean, of course, that Tom was right. ↩

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Milking madness

I got a couple questions regarding the milking I mentioned in my last post via comments. I glazed over that more than I wanted to, so I’ll answer them here and expand on the event.

From Dev:

What did the milking feel like?

From esirpus:

When you are giving yourself a prostate milking are you wearing your chastity device? And if so is Belle supervising you?

I’ll take the last two first. No, Belle was not supervising me. She’s instructed me to take care of this by myself. Sure, I’d love for her to be involved, but if she doesn’t want to be, at least she’s letting me do it alone. Anything anal squicks her out, so I can’t count on her involvement going forward. And yes, I was in the device. In my handful of attempts at this in the past, I’ve found having access to the cock makes it somewhat easier, but also more dangerous since a few pulls to help things along can be taken too far. Also, the juices seem to run a bit more easily through erect meat than flaccid.

As to how it felt…this is more complicated. The act of stimulating the prostate feels amazing. Sometimes, so intense it’s hard to say it feels good. I imagine it’s not too dissimilar to what it must feel like to have one’s clitoris stimulated. I have a hard time imagining that prostate massage alone would ever lead me to a real orgasm, but the signals it sends my brain when I’ve found the spot are so closely related to orgasmic pleasure that I find it only sends my frustration and desire for one into the stratosphere. It’s kind of like a car engine that won’t start: turning the key makes a lot of noises that kinda sound like it’ll turn over, but it never quite gets there.

I’ve never really been able to get much out of myself this way. A dribble here, a dribble there. The last time, with the G-force, was pretty much the same. However, I did end up get a feeling like I had to pee. Once I tried, I found the fluid that came out to be thick and milky. And plentiful. Turns out, I was successful but didn’t understand the feeling well enough to know.

With regard to doing it in the future, I think the secret is getting into a sufficiently relaxed state. Since I feel like I’m kind of sneaking around when I do it (though Belle’s been aware of the last few attempts) and I’m usually squirreled away in a bathroom or something, I never let myself totally enjoy the moment. As with anything anal, being relaxed is key. Usually, I’m too tense. Also, there’s a fair but of contortion involved in reaching the spot. Not so much with the G-force with its handle and length, but even then it’s impossible to really lay back and enjoy the sensation since I’m the one creating it.

I’ll probably give it another try in about a week. Any tips in the mean time would be appreciated.

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Silent running

One of the unfortunate side-effects of having a PA piercing is that, when sporting the plastic chastity tube, the stainless steel jewelery I wear tends to knock around in there. The 6ga segment ring isn’t as bad as the curved barbell with the ball on the end. That combo acts like a bell with the ball on the barbell being the clapper. CLANKITY, CLANKITY, CLANKITY as I walk down the hall. As I said, the segment ring is better, but can still, depending on the condition of the little slab of meat it’s been punched through, make what can be a difficult to explain noise when padding around the house in one’s jammies.

With this in mind, I recently ordered an acrylic ball-enclosed ring. The idea was that the plastic wouldn’t resonate against the tube as noisily as the hard metal does. The ring itself it much lighter than the metal, unsurprisingly, and the ball pops in and out of the flexible ring easily making the ring feel not so much like jewelery as it does a piece from a LEGO model. Also, it doesn’t seem to want to move around easily through the piercing. The stainless usually glides smoothly through the hole while the plastic tends to move in fits and spurts and drags against my skin. In any event, this isn’t that big of a deal since, when worn within the CB6K, it has been practically silent. I haven’t heard any sound from down there whatsoever. The ball enclosure is too big to fit through the slot at the end of the tube, so when hard, there’s a definite “coach class” crowdedness in there, but nothing at all painful or especially problematic.

Also helping on the noise front is the black Master lock I’m wearing. Typically, I place a small felt self-adhesive pad on the back of my other metal locks to help keep down the clankiness, but the Master lock has a black plastic shell and seems to fit more snugly though the hole in the CB6K’s locking pin. Less movement combined with a deadened impact means even quieter operation.

Next time I’m tapped to sneak up on someone ninja-style, I will do so confidently knowing that my chastity device won’t unexpectedly clank and blow my cover.

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Self imprisonment

Belle let me out of the device on Sunday. It’d been nearly a week since she had some bunny lovin’ (due to her trip and a monster-long menstrual cycle) and she wanted her cock. She said it just like that. “Tonight, I want my cock.” Fucking awesome.

So she let me out and I cleaned it up, shaved, etc. I had that nagging insecurity regarding coming without permission, but it turns out she came so fast from my fingers that the issue never presented itself. After an appropriate amount of basking on her part, she told me I could go inside her. No coming, of course. Just like last time, I was overcome by gratitude. There’s the feeling of thankfulness, of course, but then there’s also this meta feeling that flows from that. The feeling of inequity and unfairness and how I, the husband, the traditional “head of household”, have so little control over my own sexual functions that I am forced into this position of servile gratitude simply over the chance to get the dick wet. Of course, that’s exactly where I want to be. Not emasculated, but harnessed. Restrained. Maintained.

In any event, I got very, very close to coming more than once. I love that feeling when the primal lizard urge to just keep going and come fires up and I have to struggle to reassert her control over me. And when she tells me it’s time to stop and I have to pull the throbbing meat out of her, cold and wet. It just says hard. Twenty, thirty minutes. Not bone hard, but there’s a plumpness to it that doesn’t seem to want to go away. My blind sexual instincts never seem to learn. I know there’s not chance of getting off (especially once she falls asleep), but the motor keeps purring just in case.

In the few days since, we haven’t had a chance to connect. Today, I’m at home alone and find myself extra super horny. So horny, that the urge to stimulate myself was becoming difficult to avoid. As I’ve written recently, I had this problem where I’d jack myself off, but never let me come. Doing so kept the hormonal levels high, but totally broke the link between my sexual gratification and Belle. She’s since expressly forbidden that behavior (again), so these thoughts were problematic. I decided to lock myself up as a preemptive measure. I couldn’t find her new lock or the keys (they’re not in the corner of her dresser drawer!) but I was able to scrounge around and find an open Master lock. Not a big fan of them since they’re kind of big, but at least it locks and I have no clue where the key is (on her keyring, I think). I was much more thoughtful this time around with regard to the device. The KSD-3G is in place, I used appropriately sized ring and my new O-ring and PA cable set-up. Very, very secure. No chance of rubbing one out (or even making the motions). When Belle comes home, she can decide if she wants me in it not, but at least I’ll be able to avoid making any mistakes in the mean time.

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Jailbreak!

Picked!Last time she ordered me into the device, I have to admit I was a little off my game. Mostly, this was due to my having just come and not really putting my heart into it. In any event, I screwed a few things up. I used a ring that was too big and neglected to put the KSD-G3 in place. I like to use the KSD-G3 because it helps keep the meat pushed down inside the tube. This make things like peeing a little easier and, I’ve found, helps my PA ring find its way through the slot in the end of the plastic tube during erections (when the ring doesn’t descend, it turns kinda sideways, pulling on the piercing – not painful, really, but uncomfortable).

So, long way to say, I felt my kit was on all wrong. And she was out of town. With the key. Now, if you knew me in real life, you’d know I kinda sorta obsess over things like this. It was driving me nuts. I really wanted the KSD in there and I wanted the smaller ring. My fevered monkey brain kicked into gear.

My lock, seen above and in place on this blog’s about page, was chosen because I thought it was pretty. Truth is, Belle’s never liked it because it’s fussy to open (never sure which way to turn the key), but I’ve always appreciated it’s shiny aesthetics. I like shiny. Plus, it’s key is not so ugly. There was a time when I thought Belle could wear the key on a pretty chain I got her and it looks almost like jewelry, but since she never wears the chain, that doesn’t really matter. The downside of my pretty chrome lock is that its mechanism is exceedingly simple. You can see right into the keyhole and I’m pretty sure all the key does is move a little thingy in there allowing the clasp to spring open. So, with that in mind and the imperfection of my situation gnawing at me every moment of the day, I bent open a thick paper clip, used my needle nose pliers to bend over the end, and started fishing around in the keyhole. After about five seconds, bingo! Lock was open.

Then I realized what I had done. I had picked the lock to the device Belle had placed upon me. I had actually physically defeated the device. This was not good. I thought to close the lock and forget it ever happened, but the monkey brain is nothing if not pragmatic. It told me, as long as I had the lock open, I should at least put the KSD in there.

But surely, I argued back, I can’t take the thing off!?

No, no, my good man, said the monkey in an oddly affected British accent (I think all monkeys speak with British accents), you can leave the tube on, can’t you? There’s a good fellow. Carry on.

And then he threw some poop at me.

In any event, I did manage to get the KSD in place without removing the tube. It was tricky, but I was able to wrap my actions afterward in a shred of decency. While I had picked the fucking lock, I had not removed – even for a second – the part of the device that most represented her control over me.

UnpickableYesterday, I spilled the beans to Belle. I told her we needed a new lock since I knew how to open it. She seemed surprised at my cheekiness. Yes, we certainly did need a new lock. Then I went into the bathroom and, apparently to put a very fine point on my recent admission, picked the lock again and put on the smaller ring (again, without removing the tube). Instead of putting the thoroughly disrespected (yet still very pretty) chrome lock back, I took the ugly, sharp-cornered little lock that originally came with with the CB-6000 on. Its only redeeming quality (other than being totally secure against the monkey brain) is that it’s small. Otherwise, its very utilitarian.

I stepped out of the bathroom and handed Belle the keys to the new lock and the open chrome lock. Security has been reestablished.

Last night, she said opening the lock without permission deserved punishment. Of course, she’s right. It’s a huge transgression. If she carries through with the threat, it’ll be the first time she’s punished me since we established our understanding regarding her right to inflict corporal punishment. We’ll see what happens next…

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More PA cable madness

My obsession with increased chastity security via my PA piercing is well-documented. Last time, I had decided, once and for all, that a cable through my PA’s ring was not an option since the penis likes to move around in its tube over the course of the day and that movement causes a light yet persistent pulling against the piercing which, eventually, becomes intolerable.

But I keep thinking about it. Like, all the time. I hate the fact that, even with the KSD-3G, I could, if I really and truly wanted to, slip the cock out of the device (though I’m not entirety sure I’d get it back in). So the other day, I was thinking about something Tom did with o-rings and rubber bands (yes, he’s just that crafty). I didn’t use his method, not because I thought it would prove ineffective, but because I have hardware in the vicinity to work with that he doesn’t. His solution provided exactly the inspiration I needed to find what I think makes the CB6K perfectly secure.

Cable through o-ring through PA ring through flesh
Cable > o-ring > PA ring > flesh

I took an o-ring (not sure of the size, but I’ll add that when I get home) and put it into my PA ring before snapping it shut. The ring is big enough that it requires a tool to open, but brute force can close it. Then, with the little black ring dangling from my larger stainless one, I put the tube on and ran the PA cable though the o-ring. Once locked, the penis is perfectly secured. Yeah, I could always cut the o-ring, but I was never looking for a solution that couldn’t be defeated with tools. The entire device could be removed with the right tools, right? All I wanted was something that could not be defeated with nothing more than my hands and imagination. Now I have that.

I’m not in love with the MacGyver-esque look of it (at least it’s black), but I’m very please that, more than 24 hours after putting it into place, it feels no different than usual. So far, the penis hasn’t tried to move up into the tube far enough to cause any pulling whatsoever. I’m a very happy – and secure – rabbit.

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HNThumper

It occurred to me while getting dressed recently that I find the outline of a chastity device showing through underwear to be sexier than actually seeing the thing itself (and what it contains). While I do not have the – ahem – “natural assets” of some, and have already bitched about the abundance of gratuitous CBxK cock shots on the web, I admit to feeling the need to get in on the fun (plus, I’m a wannabe exhibitionist at heart).

Note that I don’t think I’ll be doing this on a regular basis since I just don’t have that many good angles. Besides, I’m sure the majority of my reading audience would rather check out pneumatic twenty-something females than my tighty whities anyway.

Skanky picture after the jump.

Continue reading “HNThumper”

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Cracks

During my morning hygine ritual this morning I noticed the following little cracks on the tube of my CB6K.

Wee cracks

I don’t know how long they’ve been there or how long it’ll be before the polycarbonate fails (or, for that matter, in what way it will fail), but there they are. Not too suprising, I guess, since there is a fair bit of flex where the tube attaches to those posts and I do often sleep on my stomach and wear some tight underwear when trying to conceal. I’m sure both those things conspire to stress the plastic. I can’t tell if there are any cracks in the locking post hole, but I’ll be checking next time I get out for the weekly hygiene.

Any other CBxK wearers out there have cracks like that?