Tag: chastity devices

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Mike’s tip

A note from a reader:

i saw your steelheart blog and decided to get one. Got it last week and love it. But i have had it one for two days now and i seem to hur just a bit near head of penis and pa ring, did this happen too you. If so did it go away after a few days. i really want to keep it on and dont want my partner to take it off for a while so please let me know what you think. i found you on facebook and sent you a message there also. i just sent my email to follow your blogs. Enjoy reading them. Thanks, mike

Is it like a rubbed raw kind of thing? That can happen from time to time. The last time I had that problem it was because I was wearing the larger of the two A-rings we have which caused the tube to sit a little lower and rub a part of the penis it usually didn’t.

You need to take to a new device slowly. I know how much you want to keep it on right now, but you also need to listen to your body and let it adjust. Ignoring those signals will cause you more pain and a longer time out to recuperate. My advice: Take it off for a day or two until the part that hurts stops hurting, then put it back on. Eventually, your dick will accept its fate.

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Viewer mail

I know, you’re not really viewers, you’re actually readers. Whatever.

Ive been reading your blog on and off again for a couple years now.  Great reading.

A question for the steelheart: does your pa ever get caught between the tube and the retaining bar?

I’ve owned a cb3k and switched to the 6k a while back. I have the security cable from keptforher and when I used as instructed, it caused some bleeding from my pa not being able to move when flaccidity set in. So I thought, put the cable in the inside. Works okay, but as the ring rides the cable down and I get hard again, sometimes it will catch around mid tube and as I keep growing it can be painful. Lately I’ve just been putting on more lube and it works.

I’ve had my eye on the steelheart when i read about it on your blog. Wife loves the look of it. Just haven’t taken the leap to buying one. Don’t want the back and forth to Germany if something goes wrong.

Thanks for the blog. Insightful.

Short answer, yes, there is occasional pinching. Since I can’t see what’s going on in there, my guess is that some portion of foreskin remnant and/or the little strip of meat between the PA and penis slit get’s trapped between the bar and the tube wall. This is most annoying in the early AM hours since it’s all too compressed to do anything about, but when the internals are depressurized, usually all it takes is a pull and a twist (in one direction or the other) to sort things out.

My experience with cables is much the same as yours, though I never bled. I also experimented extensively with different types of cables and varying lengths and even putting it inside, but it was never good. I think the biggest diference between the cable inside a CB6K and the bar inside the Steelheart is that there’s just more room in the Steelheart tube. It’s cylindrical rather than oval and things can move around in it more easily. As you’ve found, the ability for it to move along the fixing and not be stuck at the end of the tube is critical.

The going back to Germany thing is a pain, but the end result is really worth is. You may want to consider Mature Metal if you’re concerned about the back and forth, though they don’t have a model equivalent to the Steelheart. Which is a nice segue to the next question…

I’ve been following your blog for some time, and am using the CB3000. I do feel like swapping out to the steelheart like yourself.

Should I base the dimensions on my CB3000 fit? I’m not sure if I make it too small, and when my buddy turns super horny?

Can you give me some suggestions?

If you haven’t already read Steelheart vs. CB-6000, you should. There’s all kinds of stuff in there for people in your position.

I ordered my original SH according to my CB6K fitting and it turned out way too big. Both the A-ring and the tube. I eventually got a smaller ring that would have been nearly impossible to wear had it been multipart plastic. I can’t explain this definitively, but I suspect that the combination of how the steel interacts with skin (less grippy) and the less severe shape (not squared off) make the SH ring significantly more comfortable (the same would be true for any steel device, not just the SH).

For me, the difference was 5mm in the A-ring. I wore the 45mm combination in the CB6K and have a 40mm ring on the SH. I think you could easily knock 3mm off from your plastic fitting. With regard to the tube, it’s not so easy. That’s a more customized thing. I think the best measuring advice I’ve seen is on the Mature Metal site. Remember that a tube which allows for less growth of your erection is, in my experience and as illogical as this sounds, more comfortable.

Princess Annie (whose blog you should check out), asked in an email:

Thumper, this is one of my central questions. How do I know if my boy, my pet, has ejaculated without me? He could lie – you could’ve lied. I can act like I will know… but I wouldn’t really. hmmmm…

Tricky. My answer is, if he’s a good actor, you can’t know. Absent a secure device, there’s just no telling. You have to trust him and he has to commit to accepting the control he’s presumably give to you. There are times when he’ll be weak and will succumb to temptation. We’ve all been there. If and when those times happen, he will need to be honest with you and admit them as soon as possible. If he doesn’t, then he’s not a good fit for that kind of relationship.

Practically, you need to be a keen observer of his personality. What is he like when you know he’s been chaste? What is he like after you let him come? That kind of thing. Other than that, I’m afraid I don’t have much for you.

This one was submitted via The Portfolio:

Hey Thumper. I always enjoy your Portfolio and I have wondered about the mix /selection of pictures as it relates to your chastity lifestyle. Do you know the ratio of heterosexual images vs. homo erotic images? Do you find that you post more homo erotic images the longer you are locked up? Or do you find that the less attention that Belle is able to give you the more you fantasize about guys and pegging and the like. – Just Curious

Regarding the mix of hetero vs. homo imagery I post from day to day, to be honest, it really depends on what I find on my dashboard in the morning. I follow 366 372 different Tumblrs of all kinds and some days the mix is heavier on the boobs and beavers and some days it’s more cocks and hanging nutsacks. I try to keep things mixed up, but I only have so much time in the day to look at porn (alas). I don’t know the exact ratio, though it’s probably slightly more gay than straight. For whatever reason, gay porn has always been more stimulating to me than straight so I’m sure it gets favored over time. However, with the addition of the Pit Stop, I’ve found some male images going there rather than on The Portfolio (meaning the female ratio should be going up).

Regarding how my chastity affects what I post, I know it does, but I’m not sure I can tell you how exactly. I post more the hornier I am. I think I usually post more graphic images when I’m really in the soup than at other times when I might favor more arty compositions. I think I end up feeling more crude and base. I’ve written before that being locked up makes me more fascinated with pictures of cocks. I get kind of entranced by images of guys jacking off and I’ll watch a whole video only to see the shooting at the end (though I try to never post an image of a guy coming on The Portfolio). I always vacillate in the middle of the Kinsey scale, so I don’t know how I feel is different or the same as other guys, though anecdotally, it seems as though chastity and long term denial can make nominally heterosexual men more interested in images of other men (which supports my contention that all people are, if only a little, bisexual).

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Training update

I have this neat scale that connects to the internet and keeps track of how much I weigh on my iPhone and iPad. As you can see from the above image (top graph), I’ve managed to lose about seven pounds since I started going to my personal trainer on the 16th. That’s not quite as much as I would have hoped, to be honest, but the trend is pointing in the right direction (the bottom line shows how much of my weight is fat).

In practice, I’ve found that while still a thorough ass-kicking, my sessions don’t leave me feeling as though I’m about to drop dead. Also, the aftermath is much less of a problem. For the first ten days or so, I was a giant mass of sore muscles unwilling to allow me to conduct such frivolous maneuvers as turning over in bed and walking across a room. Now, I feel the work out, but the muscle soreness is much less.

With regard to the steel device locked between my legs, I continue to find that the compression shorts do an admirable job of keeping things in check. I’m pretty sure that it’s been visible while getting stretched by the trainer, but that happens at the end of the session and I’m honestly too wiped to give a shit about it at that point. My attitude continues to be that while I’m not going out of my way to advertise how I live, I won’t feel especially embarrassed about it. As I’ve written before, the device mostly feels as though it is me. I want it to be there much more than I feel the need to hide the fact that it’s a fundamental part of my existence.

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Compression

Dutchbound said:

Hey Thumper – I’m very excited to hear that you got a trainer and look forward to reading more. Now, we can look forward to, and benefit from, Thumper-analysis (Thump-alysis??) of what it is like to not only workout frequently while locked but also how to manage the bulge in workout gear in a public setting. I’ve been working hard to manage those logistics myself.

I start the routine tomorrow so I can’t yet speak more than I already have to that, but I can add some insight into the “bulge management” situation.

Part of me want to say fuck it and bulge naturally, but perhaps a modicum of discretion is required. This morning, I was stretching in the workout pants I’ll be wearing while training with a “fashion” jock on underneath. I say fashion because it was sold though one of those underwear sites that has all the buff dudes modeling them and is as much a soft-core porn experience as it is for shopping. This particular pair I like because they have a generous pouch (to give that “no underwear” look) that’s not too constricting. They are definitely not concealment wear.

Anyway, during the leg stretching, the jutting steel bullnose was amply visible. While wearing my usual best concealment underwear when with the trainer was an option, they’re all high and tight cotton briefs and didn’t seem right to get all sweaty in. Therefore, a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods was in order (yeah, I know).

What I settled on was a couple pair of Under Armour compression shorts. Note that there’s a couple different styles of these, if you’re thinking of getting them. One style — the kind I got — is made of the same super-stretchy material throughout while the other has a more breathable (and less compressing) crotch panel. Those didn’t seem to do a thing to help conceal. The more concealing style, as you can see, isn’t exactly the sexiest things you’re ever going to find me in, but that’s not what I got them for.

Once home, put them to the test. I put them on along with my workout pants and went through the stretching motions. I found that the visible bulge of the Steelheart was reduced by about 50%. There’s still a little bump there that’s not entirely natural looking, but it’s far less noticeable than it had been earlier in the day. The proof will be how they are to work out in. They push the whole package down and that puts extra pressure against the otherwise abused and disrespected nutsack, but it’s hard to know if it’ll prove to be too much. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

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A different kind of training

Every muscle in my body aches. Even ones I forgot I had. Even ones I didn’t know I had. Maybe even some I don’t have.

I’ve decided to start seeing a personal trainer since, over the past couple years, I’ve allowed myself to get to a point physically that I’m just not very happy about. I’ve also noticed, now that I’m solidly into my forty-fifth year, that things don’t work as well as they used to. I’ve lost strength, stamina, and flexibility and I’m just feeling old. I’m too young to feel old. And yes, while it is January and all kinds of bullshit resolutions are made at this time of year, I can say that had little to do with the timing of this decision. I’ve been thinking about it for some time and simply finally got around to it.

So I met with the guy Friday morning. He’s the proprietor of a small gym near our house and our first meeting was so he could evaluate my sorry condition. The guy is massive. Not big like a muscle bound linebacker, but proportionally huge. As if he’s been genetically manufactured to be a new kind of superhuman. He’s a former basketball player and has got to be at least 6’10” tall. Being from West Africa, his skin is very dark. He’s bald and has arms as big around as my thighs. Practically. Either way, he’s an intimidating specimen. Being six feet tall myself, I’m unaccustomed to being around people significantly taller than me, let alone guys I need to crane my head up to look at.

Of course, it’s like he walked straight out of some cuckolding wank story. I admit that the question of his endowment was often in my mind. But that’s me. A pervert.

Anyway, this was just a short evaluation session, but it still kicked my ass. He had me doing lunges, squats, jumping jacks, leg presses, and this sit-up-catch-and-throw-a-ball exercise. All that after he told me I had the hamstring flexibility of a 300 pound guy. Nice. And yes, all this was done while locked up.

I was’t sure if I would need to be unlocked to work out with him so I didn’t ask Belle to let me out. The only time it may have been visible was when he had me flat on my back and was holding my leg straight up and pushing it forward in, I assume, an attempt to rip it from my body. I’m fairly certain a somewhat out of place bulge may have presented itself then and I may have even seen him glance at it, but honestly, the searing pain of the ordeal has clouded my memory. There were no issues after that, though, so I’ve decided to continue on without special access to the penis and see how it goes. Besides it becoming visible, I don’t think there will be a practical reason to remove it. It won’t get in the way of any exercising I can think of and wasn’t at all uncomfortable during or after. Asking for access to the key would be all about vanity and that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to me. I’ve decided that being locked up is who I am and how I live so I won’t let something like an occasional unusual bulge change that.

While this is a sex blog, not a workout blog, I have to imagine that as this new endeavor unfolds I will bring it up often. I will be seeing the trainer (either the massive black guy or his more reasonably-sized assistant who just happens to share my first name) three times a week. The device may or may not become an issue, so that would be a germaine DT topic. Plus, as I get into better shape, my body image may return to a point where I would feel comfortable sharing HNTs of something other than the penis and its steel tube.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Between now and then, it’ll just be nice to have a place to whine and/or talk about how I’m less of a giant white lump than I used to be.

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Forever

I happened upon yesterday’s post by Sarah on the topic of permanent orgasm denial. In it, she said (among other things) the following:

We are def­i­nitely lean­ing towards per­ma­nent orgasm denial, but we do have some con­cerns, none of which are to do with John miss­ing out on them (it’s really more about what I’ll per­haps miss out on, but that’s another story).

I think that neatly summarizes the issue for us, too. A lot of men assume that when they orgasm it is an experience all their own when in reality most women also seem to get a lot of enjoyment from the event. The ones that don’t are typically fictional (though I’m sure there are some real ones out there, too).

Honestly, this is something I didn’t really understand until I stopped having orgasms, but Belle likes it when I’m inside her and also, I’m pretty sure, likes it when I come there. My assumption had always been that women weren’t especially into the mess since it’s practically entirely up to them to clean it up afterward. Personally, back in the days when the occasional man would fuck my ass, I didn’t especially enjoy the aftereffects. I mean, there’s no place for it to go (and it didn’t really have much of a reason to be there) so it had to come out eventually and I just found the entire thing kinda gross. For the record, only three men got to do that without protection and only one of them was iffy, but that was like twenty-some years ago.

But anyway, as undeniably hot as the idea of never being allowed to come again is for me, I’m not sure I’d ever want it unless I was confident it was what Belle really wanted, too. Our recently concluded month of relative freedom was, I think, more about Belle pining for some old fashioned bunny loving more than anything else. I have no reason to expect her appreciation for that kind of sex will ever change, so I have no reason to expect she’ll ever really and truly end my orgasms.

Yesterday evening, as we laid in bed, I was curled up into her and craving her pussy. I pressed my hand to it through her pajamas and, with my face near her breasts, it was all I could do not rip her clothes off. She wasn’t having any of it, though, and told me she quite liked to see me miserably desperate. She also said I should expect the kind of sharp contrasts like I’m going through now in the future. Hard denial followed by relatively lavish releases. Nine times in one month. That probably doubled my entire output for the year.

So I went to sleep pretty horny. Interestingly, when the morning wood woke me up, it didn’t feel at all like someone had kicked me in the nuts. There was intense pressure from the tube, but I liked it. Instead of trying to get rid of it, I flexed the penis so it would be more intense and even rolled over on my stomach so blood would rush to the area. I didn’t expect to adjust so quickly. Next step will be sleeping through the wood. Once that happens, I’ll know things are back to normal. But I digress.

I guess what I’m getting at is that male chastity and orgasm denial might, on its surface, appear to be mostly about male orgasms. But it’s not. And as badly as I want to hear her say someday that I will never come again (and I do, really), there’s no way I could live with that situation unless something big and drastic changed with Belle and I knew for a fact that she would still be able to get whatever it is she wants from sex (even if that thing happens infrequently). There are many trade-offs in a relationship where the man doesn’t get to come, but in the end, asking her to ultimately sacrifice something so important to her is unacceptable to me.

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Petites bouchées

A few little things…

One, this is just fucking gorgeous. Want. It.

Two, I had forgotten the…er, joy let’s call it, of nut-crushing morning erections. I was up three times between 4:30 and 6:00 walking it off.

Three, even though I’ve been out for more than a month, I am so back in now. Loving it. Totally in that “why would anyone live any other way” place. It’s got to be fairly psychosomatic, but my whole perspective on Belle has changed. I’m really zoned in on her. For instance, we just had a short and rather mundane sort of phone conversation, but as soon as she answered the phone I felt a funny tickling thrill in my kidneys just from hearing her voice. I’m still a little giddy. I really, really like her voice.

That is all.

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Rubbed raw

Today is thirteen weeks, four days since the Unfortunate Incident. AKA, ninety-five days since my last orgasm (and officially over my previous record).

The earliest I’ll be allowed to come is day after tomorrow: December 1. However, knowing my Belle like I do, I’d bet she’ll make me wait until the weekend. Saturday will be 99 days. Will she make me wait until Sunday for the even 100? Will she allow me to be out of the Steelheart until then? As I mentioned yesterday, she let me out of the tube on Saturday. Since then, I’ve literally rubbed the penis raw in frustration. Is it any wonder I prefer to be locked up? Do you have any idea how long it takes me to get out of the bathroom in the morning like this?

As an aside, I may need to come up with a better term then “locked up” since the double cock ring also has a lock, the key to which is not in my possession. I am, technically, still locked up, but not at all in the way I am in the chastity device. 

Speaking of rubbing, the new Steelworxx double cock ring (DCR) has forced me to modify my technique. As I pointed out yesterday, when fully erect, the skin on the penis isn’t as loose with the DCR in place. Based on my own first-hand experience with other erect male penises, the skin on “mine” is relatively pliable. I hardly ever have had to use lubrication when jerking off. One guy I know with a particularly fine specimen had to lubricate. When he was hard, it was all monolithic and tight (and so wonderfully hefty). I have always suspected this difference was due to how our individual circumcisions took place (i.e., how much did the doc cut off), but I’ve never been with an uncut guy to verify.

But I digress. My point is, the rings keep things tight down there and that’s partly why I’m raw. I didn’t use enough lube. The other factor is how the skin on the shaft seems to get more sensitive after it’s been locked away for a long time. The other other factor is overuse. Plain, simple self-abuse. Having not been told by Belle not to do it, I have been indulging myself repeatedly.

Besides that, the other new wrinkle the DCR has added to my style is how it’s effectively reduced the length of the penis’ shaft. The penis, as I’ve said here before, is, when fully hard, a perfectly average 5 5/8″ long. The DCR takes about an inch of pullable meat away. Then, on the other end, is the PA ring which can be tricky to masturbate over. Typically, I rub up to it and let my fingers open so they go around. Too much pushing and pulling on the ring can make the hole sore. Take that into account and I’m left with less than four inches of beatable meat. My palm is about 3.5″ across. You see my predicament.

Which, of course, I like. I am, technically, free. And in December, I’ll be even freer since Belle has said I’ll be able to come whenever I want. But the DCR complicates that a bit. I can jack off but it’s awkward. I can get pleasure, but there are still some boundaries and issues. I’m all about boundaries and issues.

I’ll close this post by thanking Tom for the nice call-out the other day on his blog:

Thumper is one of the few — very few — “chastity blogs” that has managed to stay fresh and interesting. I don’t always agree with him; hell, I don’t even always understand him. But there’s no question that Thumper is writing from a special, deep place, and you simply can’t doubt his honesty and emotional openness.

At first I was like, “Aw, that’s nice,” and then I was all, “Wait, doesn’t always agree with me?” and then, “Doesn’t understand me!?” before thinking, “Am I disagreeable? Am I that weird!?” Which, of course, is one of the things about me I’m sure Tom doesn’t understand. In any event, I truly appreciate the props. I’ll do my best not to obsess over the agreeing and understanding bits. As I said…boundaries and issues. That’s me.

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HNThumper XL: Annulo duplici

Yes, I understand today is not a Thursday. Still, I’m calling this an HNThumper entry. Creative license, OK?

Last Saturday, I got back home from the annual Thanksgiving family trek (mother and her husband in tow, but no Belle who stayed an extra day) and found a small parcel from Deutschland sitting on my front stoop. The Steelworxx Double Cockring had arrived. Having been set free of the Steelheart Short the day before, I bundled it off to a secluded spot to check it out and try it on.

Steelworxx Double Cockring with integrated lock

My initial impression was that the gap between the A-ring and the penis ring was enormous. When ordering, I didn’t even think about that, to be honest, and gave Dietmar no direction regarding that measurement. I know I would have asked him to make it smaller had I considered it and, after wearing it, I’m glad I didn’t. While it’s a much bigger gap than on the SH-S, it’s also a very different device. While the SH-S is meant to suppress full hydraulic pressure, the double cock ring has to operate with all systems go. In a sense, they’re purposes are opposite. The Steelheart is meant to compress, restrain, and stifle an erection while the DCR is designed to embrace and perhaps even enhance one. In any event, the penis ring is the same beefy steel used for the A-ring and makes for a much more muscular look than I was expecting. This is a device that seems to celebrate a hard-on rather than squish it into submission.

DCR versus the Steelheart

I spent some time worrying about the penis ring sizing. My plan is to wear this device whenever Belle leaves me out of the SH-S and that means it needs to be big enough so that shit doesn’t start turning purple on me. In the past, I had measured the penis to be ~40mm around at its base and wanted something that was snug and noticeable yet not too constricting. I wasn’t sure how the A-ring would affect the plumpness of the erection, though, and wasn’t in a position to figure it out (being all locked up when I bought it). Originally, I ordered the penis ring at 38mm since that was the closest option on the page, but after some consideration, I asked Dietmar to make it 39mm (note that he can make sizes not listed as options on his site – just ask). The A-ring is 45mm (versus the SH-S which has a 40mm ring and 35mm diameter tube).

The result is just about perfect. When hard, there’s just enough constriction. I definitely know it’s there yet blood seems to be able to flow. The A-ring bites enough to have some teeth when the penis is really hard and, not unlike the SH-S, causes some of the erection to back up behind it (which, oddly, has become a normal and almost comforting sensation for me). The two rings cause the skin on the erection to be pulled tight making it less pliable. Even though I can get fully hard, the tightness of the skin and biting around the base of the shaft still provide me with a sense of being constrained. Due to the tightness of the skin, jacking off practically requires lubrication.

The flip side to that is when the penis is in its most flaccid state. Then, the big steel penis ring makes it look even less impressive and even somewhat pathetic. Like a little old man wearing a linebacker’s padding. Regarding security, yes, just like with any other trapped-ball device, this one can be backed out of, though there’s obviously not much point in doing so. The gap between the rings, while greater, is not nearly big enough for me to slip my nuts though, so I would not be able to get  it entirely off.

After the jump, you’ll find the obligatory in situ picture (which, while perhaps not as graphic as recent entries, is what makes this an official HNThumper entry – number 40!).

Continue reading “HNThumper XL: Annulo duplici”