Libéré en étant enfermé
Out of Switzerland has arrived a male chastity device that has the potential to be the best plastic device money can buy. It’s not perfect at all, but is shows tremendous promise.
Note that this review covers the first version of the Holy Trainer no longer available. A review of the Holy Trainer v2 is also available.
Full review and typical NSFW images after the jump…
Back in November sometime, I decided to start experimenting with different email clients both on my computer and my phone. In doing so, I set up my work addresses (there are two of them), my personal address, and the one or two other old addresses that still occasionally receive something of value. I forgot to set up my Thumper mail. Therefore, I didn’t see any emails to that address until just the other day when I thought to myself, “Huh. I haven’t seen any feedback from the…uh…um. Oh. Right.”
So, if you sent me any email since about the last week in November, sorry! It seems I’m an idiot. Without further delay, here’s the stuff I can answer that was sent to me while I was on my little email vacation…
An anonymous reader asked:
I’m pretty interested in buyin a Looker02.
I’m not sure how to measure, not getting it all what Dietmar says (he’s currently in holiday, too)
How to I measure? The penis while *totally* (after cumming or so) flaccid? The circumference while flaccid or while hard?
Yes, measure while totally flaccid. Not the tiniest your dick gets, but in its normally soft and sleepy state.
Please note my penis grows a lot when becoming erect 😉
Lucky you. It’s my experience that the device should be as close to your flaccid size as possible, but the penis on me only gets about double its flaccid size, so YMMV.
I want to extend the plug beyond the A-ring from 1cm to 2 or 2.5cm, to make security a little bit higher. Is this anatomically possible?
I wouldn’t recommend it. The little bit that sticks out does make the device marginally harder to get out of, but it’s still not very secure (but no less secure than any other non-PA involved device). You’d have to make the insert go way up inside you to use it as an actual security measure. However, that little bit is the part that can irritate your urethra while being strenuous (ie, jogging). I’d stick with the 1cm and pretend like it’s secured with magical powers.
The hardest about is about measuring the mm for the cockring. What’s the best method? (I have a girlfriend who can do this but we’re always getting something else :/ )
This is the..uh…hardest part. It’s also why I recommend a CB-6ooo or similar plastic device before going to metal, but whatever. You need to measure around your cock and balls using a measuring tape or string (measuring the length of the string afterward). Cinch the tape/string until it’s just snug, but not tight. That’s about where you need to be. Note that the likelihood you’ll end up with a size too small or too large is high, so you might want to get two A-rings. Also note that, over time, you’ll likely want to move to a smaller ring with wear.
I fear you may have not waited and just went ahead and made your purchase. If so…did you see my apology up there?
Biboy asked:
I am going to order up a Looker 02 in the new year as Steelworxx is shut down for holidays until the new year.
Sounds like Dietmar’s going to be busy when he gets back from vacation.
I’ve read all of ur reviews and was wondering if u still think the urethral tube couldn’t possibly be any longer now that u have spent a lot of time in the device? Reason I ask is I had spent a lot of time in the past sounding and I slid a sound in marked with tape to where the urethral tube will sit in me while I was wearing my Jail Bird. I can comfortably go a lot deeper than the the 1cm past the cock ring that they allow for when they make the Looker 02. I am going to have him make it so its approx the same size as my Jail Bird and as I was wearing it when I slid the sound in I thought it gave me a pretty good idea. Having said that tho I have never had a sound in all day or slept with one in obviously so I thought I would get it made to pass the cock ring 2cm. Feels like it could easily go an inch past but 2cm sounds safer. Thoughts?
Like I said above, the issue isn’t how far you can get a sound up there (the insert doesn’t really go very far), it’s that the device it’s welded onto will be moving around quite a bit and sending the end of the insert into all kinds of directions inside your body. It’s possible an extra centimeter won’t make that much difference, but personally, I wouldn’t want it any longer.
Number 2 concern, as I had spent a lot of time sounding before chastity I used to be stretched out to accept a 14 mm sound. I think I require a larger ball on the end of the urethral tube. Since I don’t jerk off anymore I don’t sound anymore. I’m sure that 14mm is not currently possible but I know I am still stretched out. U don’t know my body so I know u can only give so much info. I was wondering if u wished the ball at the end of the urethral tube was larger to hopefully not allow urine to get past it?
Urine getting past the ball doesn’t bother me. I actually think it’s beneficial as it does the normal job of urine and keeps the urethra cleaned out. That doesn’t mean I don’t wish the tube’s inner diameter wasn’t larger, though. The relatively narrow insert tends to retain urine and that leads to dripping and leaking (which is the device’s biggest drawback, IMO). Were I to do it over again, I’d get a fatter insert that drained easier.
Concern number 3 and last one of this long winded email. Ha. When I ordered my Jail Bird I know the cock ring was sized perfect. I think it still fits perfect but I know my body has a permanent impression of the ring marked around my cock and balls now. I was thinking about getting it made an eighth of an inch smaller. Have u noticed that u could possibly have gotten a smaller cock ring than when u first became chaste? I don’t want it to be too small and I was lucky to get a perfect fit with my Jail Bird so I would like this experience to be the same.
If you think it’s perfect, don’t mess with it. I really get wanting a smaller ring, but don’t fuck it up.
Robert said:
I just found your site the other day and I have been reading your post starting back in 2008. I have read the first two years. First congratulations on you and Belle for continuing to live your relationship for over 5 years now. I had to skip ahead on your blog to the present to answering a question I had. Why no strap on play for you or at least have her in force butt plug wear at times on you. You seem like you are attracted to the male penis, why not take that attraction to her fake penis? Or maybe she is not into that. Am I answering my own question?
Belle has said in the (far distant) past that she’s not interested in using a strap-on on me and I haven’t had the guts to ask again. I would really be into trying, though.
I bought a CB6000 and still have it, my wife and I used to have kinky sex but our 3 year old, got in the way of that. Perhaps in the future.
Yeah. Damned kids. Said with much love and affection, of course.
Maybe you have tips but I couldn’t get into the CB6000. Now I am not huge, about the same size as you maybe a little bigger at 6.5 inches erect and a lot less when not. But the width, I am a little bit bigger then the width of the chastity device. I bought the CB6000 curve. Should I just put a lot of baby oil on and force it on or should I look for something bigger(any suggestions) and also do you shave your area. I read that someone should but my wife doesn’t like that area shaved. Well any advice would be appreciated and Happy Holidays, hopefully you are able to cum this month. Denial might be the best present.
Six and a half is almost a full inch bigger than me. Based on what you wrote, it sounds like you’re wider than the CB6K while flaccid. If not, no problem. It’s supposed to be smaller than your hard-on. If so, yeah, that could easily lead to edema which is not serious if the device is removed promptly, but is uncomfortable. I have no experience at all with the Curve, unfortunately. You could experiment with the CB6K and put it on and just keep an eye on your dick. If there are no issues with edema, then damn the torpedos. Your best bet may be a bespoke steel device.
I kinda shave. I like to keep the hair off the shaft, scrotum, and perineum but Belle won’t let me shave it everywhere else. I do keep the surviving pubes trimmed to something between 1″ and 1/2″ long. Shaving can also lead to irritation as the stubble grows out and the device puts it in contact with the surface of skin that usually doesn’t have to deal with that kind of thing.
No, I was not able to come this month. But the month’s not over. But that doesn’t make any difference.
Allen reported:
Last week I traveled from LAX to Monterey CA on a scheduled airline. Because I was traveling alone and my wife would not be embarrassed if anything overt happened, I persuaded her to let me travel with my Lori steel tube on.
It was late on a weekday night, no travelers before me at the mag-and-bag checkpoint, and I was invited to approach via the over-75 age line, despite not being quite qualified by age. Leave shoes on, take off belt and cell phone. I let them know I’d not be able to pass the mag test, and I didn’t. The assumption was that I had shrapnel in me, to which I replied that it wasn’t that deep into me.
The inspection that followed is why I write. I had a thorough pat-down except for the gonads, and then a test for explosives (that treated paper they wipe over your clothes), and when I passed those, I was free to go. There was no further discussion of what metal I had, and it was no more intrusive than if I’d refused to accept the newer type of scanner.
At least in this single case, it’s encouraging that air travel while locked in steel is no big deal.
That’s very interesting. I’ve wondered if the pat-down was sufficiently invasive to detect a steel tube. I assume you didn’t go through the millimeter wave scanner and only used the metal detector. I wonder how they’d have reacted if they had seen it thought your pants.
In any event, thanks for the info!
A little over a month ago I told you how Google had changed their algorithm such that my CB-6000 tips and tricks page, which had been growing in popularity, had suddenly plummeted down their rank and taken traffic to the page with it. Recently, I’ve noticed it start to claw its way back up to the point where it’s currently the fifth thing listed by Google when people search for variations of “CB-6000.” I don’t know if that’s due to a change in how their ranking works or a natural result of people clicking to it more often and Google naturally promoting it. In any event, it’s back to being the number one page on the site (after the homepage) and is steadily marching back up to its previous levels of interaction.
If you’re like me, you find this kind of thing interesting. If you’re not, move along!
NOTE: This post has been revised and extended. Read it here.
Reader Doc has asked:
It has been decided — no, not by me — that I’m to start wearing a ‘device’. Though you’ve reviewed, compared, and described many, many devices over the time I’ve been following your blog, I would like your evaluation of which is (a) the best, and (b) what is the second best of all available. I know this would be subjective, but I’d rather not ‘reinvent the wheel’. (Oh, it has been agreed that I’m to start after the holidays — on January 1st, 2014.) I suspect others may find your “final” recommendation(s) useful, too… Thanks!
Hmm. I feel not unlike the Sorting Hat…
First things first. I assume you’re cool with being locked up and the “it has been decided, no not by me” thing was just a bit of hotness tossed in to torture the poor unlocked guys who read my blog. If so, well played. If not, are you sure you want to try this? If you don’t and are doing it for your keyholder, any device you get will likely end up living in a drawer far more than your pants.
With that out of the way, allow me to prevaricate a little more.
I like to say the best device is the one between your ears. In that, and touching on my first question to you, if you don’t want to submit to the device in the first place, then you’ll end up wanting to cheat and slip out of it or whatever. Of course, some folks go about this denial thing without devices and that’s fine if it’s what floats their boat, but even those of us with hardware need to have the proper mindset. I’m currently in the Looker 02 and have been for something like going on three weeks. I can pull out of it any time I want because it’s insignificantly more secure than the Jail Bird or the CB6K or any other stock trapped-ball chastity device.
But I don’t pull out. Ever.
I’ve already bought on to the deal with Belle. She decides when I’m locked up and when I’m not and I abide by her wishes on the matter. There are lots of times I wish the device was off me so I could have access to the penis, but I’m well past the point where I’d cheat to get around it because I want far more for her to care that I’m locked up. If I want her to care, I have to care.
So anyway, then there’s the issue of defining what “best” means. There are arguments to be made that cost, comfort, security, hygiene, and stealth are all important factors when considering “best.” Also, keep in mind I’ve only worn seven(!) different devices (CB-6000, silver CB-6000, CB-5000, Birdlocked Neo, Steelworxx Steelheart [two different devices], Steelworxx Looker 02, and the Mature Metal Jail Bird [two different devices]). The only way to know what the best one is is to know how important each of those attributes is to you.
Here’s my take on them (with the silicone device essentially ignored because it sucked so much and the CB-5000 ignored because it’s an odd bird).
COST: We’re fortunate enough that cost is not the driving factor in any decision Belle makes with regard to buying a device. We’re not so fortunate that we don’t have to stop and consider the very high cost of something like a Steelwerks device, but even that is, eventually, something that we could afford if she wanted it. I was just in a conversation with some folks on Twitter about buying knock-off CB6Ks the other day. Doing so saves you some money (sometimes, a lot), but, as I eventually said, you only have the one penis. Why risk it for a few bucks? If you can’t afford a real CB6K, wait until you can. We call that “saving.” But I digress.
Steelworxx versus Mature Metal are about a wash, cost-wise. There’s a perception that MM is cheaper and I’m sure in some cases they can be, but once you start adding on options, they both get to the several hundred dollars pretty quickly (Pro Tip: The prices shown on the Steelworxx site include VAT which those outside Europe do not pay. Create an account with your shipping address and watch those prices magically fall.)
The plastic/silicone devices are far cheaper than the metal. Also, metal devices are all custom so you need to be sure of your measurements if you don’t want to deal with costly and time consuming do-overs.
COMFORT: Complicated. Except for the silicone devices, comfort is all about fit. The Looker 02 and Jail Bird I wear have A-rings 2mm bigger than the Steelheart. The Steelheart wakes me up and is, occasionally, uncomfortable. Like, it can hurt. The other two are cake. I sleep through the night. No issues. That’s 2 lously little millimeters.
You could use something like Mature Metals sizing rings or do what I did and pick up stainless rings from the hardware store, but I’ve found that measuring like that is an imperfect science (Belle’s first Steelheart was way too big, both in the A-ring and tube length). For those who have not yet played with enforced chastity, my recommendation is to start with the CB-6000. It’s inexpensive (relatively) and allows lots of fit combinations to help you figure out the best sizing for you.
That said, I don’t think the CB6K is the most comfortable device. The A-ring in particular has nasty corners that dig too much during erections. Right now, the most comfortable device I wear is the Looker 02 (even with the urethral insert). The Jail Bird is a close second and would be just as good as the L02 if not for its open design at the end of the cage. The Steelheart, with a well fitted A-ring, would also rank pretty high.
SECURITY: The only really secure device (as defined as one you cannot get out of) is one that incorporates some type of piercing. Short of that, you want a device that feels secure. That’s, again, about fit. You want it to feel snug but not tight. Something that seems like a second skin until an erection comes along. The first Steelheart hung too low and was too heavy to feel like I couldn’t slip out at a moment’s notice without the PA fixing in place.
So, the best device in this department is the one that’s attached through your dick. I only wear one like that.
HYGIENE: The most hygienic device I currently wear (defined as the one that stays the cleanest after a day of normal urinating, etc.) is probably the Jail Bird. The Steelheart will always trap a small amount of urine even after the most thorough attempt to get it all out. Some guys seem really creeped out by that (it’s no big deal as long as you rinse it out at night). The Looker 02 has a tendency to retain urine in the urethral insert and therefore leaks after you’ve peed. The CB6K is about as good or bad as the Steelheart, but, since it’s plastic and not metal, it’s a bit harder to make thoroughly clean.
In any event, if the idea of dealing with lingering urine squicks you out, the JB is the way to go. Next best is the Steelheart, then the CB6K, then the Looker 02.
STEALTH: Stealth is defined by two metrics. Visibility and sound (as measured when wearing sweats or pajama pants, etc.). The Jail Bird with the security screw option is totally silent. The Looker 02 is nearly so. The Steelheart with the PA fixing and PA ring in place occasionally makes some noise, but not much. The CB-6000 was actually the noisiest due to the lock banging against the tube when I walked around. With regard to visibility, the CB6K (non-S version) was the most noticeable of all I’ve worn by far. The others are much less so (with the Looker 02 being the least visible), but of course, they’re all custom so YMMV.
SO…which is the best?
It’s a bit of a Sophie’s choice. They’re all good for different reasons. I guess, right now, if I could only wear one, I’d lean very slightly towards the Looker 02. Its tendency to trap urine in the tube is annoying but not a big deal for me. It’s super comfy and pretty fucking hot. However, if you’re new to a device, I still recommend the CB-6000 (probably the S version depending on your flaccid size). It’s a relatively inexpensive way to dabble and will help with figuring out sizing if you ever decide to go with steel.
Recent invasion of Frenchman notwithstanding, I’ve noticed a definite and consistent drop in the amount of traffic this site’s been getting on an average day. I thought, OK, maybe the world has finally gotten tired of me. Bound to happen. I can take it…*sniff*
But no. It’s not you. It’s not even me. It’s Google.
I mentioned last year that my CB-6000 Tips and Tricks page had been slowly but steadily attracting more traffic to the site. I surmised that this might be due to an increase in general interest on the subject of chastity. Well, the party’s over. Well, maybe not over, but it’s not as much of a party as it once was. Well, maybe “party” is the wrong metaphor to use in any case. Well, why don’t I just show you the stuff?
Here’s an updated version of the number of views the CB6K page has received since it was published back in 2009:
Not very hard to see where the drop-off happened. However, that doesn’t look like a natural decrease. Something, I thought, must have changed suddenly and drastically. It was the Google. Last year, I was the third result listed organically when searching for “cb6000.” Today, I’m not even on the first page.
A link to the tips and tricks aren’t found until the second page. So, for all you nascent interactive marketers out there, the difference between being on Google’s first page of results versus the second is…pretty big! It cut 75% of the traffic that page was getting.
On the one hand, you know, whatever. No skin of my nose. On the other hand, it’s somewhat concerning to see real content (inasmuch as I can refer to my site as “real content”) being replaced with a bunch of redundant shopping links and videos.
This is all the apparent result of Google’s new “Hummingbird” search algorithm which they put into service sometime in September. I won’t pretend to know all that that entails, but the results are pretty clear. The kind of content bloggers produce (at least when it comes to locking up penises in clear plastic) is not as valuable, Google surmises, as shopping links and videos.
And no, it’s no better over on Bing. In fact, it’s a little worse. Still on the second page, just a little lower down. Not that anybody uses Bing, of course…
LadynMonkey asked…
Right now, I have hubby in an “off the shelf” bird cage until his Jail Bird is done. Unfortunately this means he is able to get a partial erection inside the current cage. I have made the decision to remove his cage for teasing when I an dragging our the teasing for hours. Do you feel this is a good idea? I mean how long can a guy be squashed in the cage turning deep reddish purple? It can’t be good to have him hard like that for 3 hours at a time, right?
Well…you might be asking the wrong guy that question. In my opinion, as long as nothing’s gone numb or turned blue, everything will be fine. I don’t know that I’ve ever been raging hard while locked up for three full hours, but I’ve spent many hours in that state (hundreds) with no ill effect.
The other thing I’d found is, with time, his dick will become “trained” and not get hard while locked up, even if he’s super turned-on. That happens to me all the time. The same situation will leave the penis tiny and flaccid while inside the cage and stiff as a board outside. The body adjusts.
So currently we are just getting to one week locked and denied but I’ve decided for the next few nights of tease sessions I’m going to remove the device for a couple hours and then he can lock back up when I’m done.
Whatever works for you guys. There’s no one right way. Some guys are always locked up, some only during the day, some for certain periods but not others. Find what’s good for you and don’t be afraid to try new things.
Also did/do you whine to Belle about the pain from getting an erection while caged and wince and complain “omg that hurts”? Do you want to be told to deal with it? Told poor baby all locked up and hard, that’s too bad I’m not letting you out?
Er, yeah. I whine. I want her to know I’m suffering and I want to hear her say that’s what I have to do. One hundred percent. As long as you’ve established a safe word or some other indication he can use when he really needs out for some reason, just tell him to suck it up. That’s what he probably wants to hear, too.
Devilsfan wrote…
It has been a long time(about 10 years)since I was last in chastity and I am kind of nervous..Any suggestions for someone who is returning to the lock and key after a long time away
Ten years is a long time ago in the world of chastity. What kind of device were you in back then? If you’re nervous, I’d go with one of the silicone jobs. They’re pretty tame. If you want to be a little more serious without breaking the bank, check out the CB-6000 (or CB-6000s).
You don’t say if you have a keyholder now or not. I’m curious about that. Also, why did you leave chastity? Did you have a bad experience? So many questions.
A reader named Joe and I have been corresponding. Several question came up…
I know what having blue-balls feels like (and rather enjoy the feeling for a day or two), are you in constant pain? If so, how do you deal with it – both physically and/or emotionally?
When I was being weaned off regular orgasms, there were times when my balls hurt like fuck. Seriously tender and sore. It would come in waves and, if I remember correctly, was associated with new record lengths of denial and after being edged and teased (or just left to stew after getting Belle off). Nice warm baths usually made me feel better. Eventually, though, whatever part of me that was hurting got used to it. I still have the occasional feeling of blue balls, but without the pain usually. Just a “full” feeling down in my sack. Like there’s a lot of stuff backing up. I suspect all this is what’s caused my balls to be bigger now than they used to be. Maybe the pain was just the various parts stretching out and becoming accustomed to not being regularly relieved of their contents.
So, physically, not that big of a deal anymore. Emotionally, it was really hard at first. There are so many more hormones in me and, oddly, they usually make me act out in a more stereotypically female way. I’m more sensitive, easier to feel slighted, quicker to anger, etc. All that emotional sensitivity would make me susceptible to feeling like a freak. I didn’t understand why I felt how I did or need what I needed and when it was difficult for Belle to interpret me, I felt it was all my fault. Lots of crying back then. Not anymore. We’re good now. I don’t feel like a freak (at least, not in a bad way). But I still have surges of high emotion. Still carry around those hormones.
Is the perceived permanent state of arousal a myth, or do you ALWAYS feel turned-on?
It is a bit of a myth. When you’re first starting out, you do feel it all the time. It’s a palpable high. Then you get to come and it all crashes down. Each denial and orgasm cycle, it takes just a bit longer to feel it again and the high isn’t as high. Eventually, you get to the point where the denial high requires longer and longer periods to build to a level where you can feel it. Past that is a different plane of existence. You find that even with no release, there are rhythms. I’ll go though periods of feeling intensely horny most of the time (going though one of those now). They last a couple to several days. I’ll can also go through periods when I feel almost asexual. Those are horrible. Luckily, they’re the least common. The most frequent feeling is one of having a hair trigger. I can go from zero to 80 in three seconds. So it’s not so much being horny all the time as it is being able to get REALLY horny REALLY quickly.
From the dates on your blog—and from what I’ve read thus far—you’ve been doing this a while. In all sincerity, do you miss: 1) the ability to orgasm, 2) the ability to achieve an erection, 3) anything about your sex life prior to the introduction of chastity?
1) Yes. But the five to ten seconds of bliss isn’t worth what I get in return for not coming. If I could somehow come and then take a pill to feel denied 15 minutes later, that would be perfect.
2) YES. I love having a full erection. But…I really fucking like how it feels to be locked up and constrained. I like rolling over in bed and feeling the steel shift and pull me around and how nice and hard it is to lay on and how it squishes the penis and how it’s always there in my pants and how sometimes, if anyone was looking, they’d be able to see it (if they knew what it was). I also love all that because it’s how she wants me to be. She’d rather I be locked up than free. That means a lot to me.
Since she keeps me locked up almost all the time now, I’ve come to feel that being locked up and constrained is normal and being floppy and free isn’t. A real erection is a treat (and usually associated with her wanting it). The stifled one is what I’m supposed to feel. Honestly, when she leaves me out for more than a couple days, I really miss the feeling of a tight and straining tube. It almost feels like I’m cheating. Like I’m being indulged.
3) The only thing I really miss is the ability to jack off whenever I want to. And I want to all the time. But it’s not just not allowed, it’s impossible since I hardly ever get out when she’s not around.
Was this an expected/desired outcome; i.e. that your interest be abated?
The only thing from which my interest has honestly abated is orgasm. All other interests of a sexual nature (ALL of them) are greatly enhanced.
There was no way I expected way back when the CB6K first landed at our door that five years later I’d always be locked up with no hope of coming. The desired outcome was a more fulfilling sex life and emotional connection with Belle. We got that. in spades. But I guess that’s how life is.
More Mailbag posts. Have a chastity question? Ask away.
Been in the Looker 02 recently. Couple of random observations regarding it and my thrice weekly personal trainer sessions.
When I first started working out with this guy, the idea that my condition would be noticeable by him was mortifying. Now, even when I may be getting busted by other random gym goers, I just let it roll off me. I haven’t a clue what anyone thinks if they’re even noticing the weird little lumps and bumps (and I’m pretty sure they are) and I really don’t care. I’ve wondered if the trainer would ever bring it up and what I’d say if he did. He’s also Belle’s trainer. I think I’d probably come clean, but I don’t know for sure.
In any event, for the prospective chastity device wearer, all these things are totally doable while locked up. Doable while being as stealthy as possible? Maybe not so much.
A couple of quickies.
Reader Rudi writes:
I’m reading your blog for some months. You’re doing a good job by writing about your feelings and the effects of the chastity thing on your relationship.
I read that you have children. They must sometimes feel your device, as they climb on your lap or you’re hugging them. Are you never afraid that they discover your secret?
Sure I am. I try to keep things situated so that unintended contact with oddly hard bulges is as unlikely as possible. My son’s 14 and can barely bring himself to acknowledge my paternity most days and has quickly mastered the fine art of the bro hug, so he’s not a problem. My daughter is 10 and likes to hug and snuggle so, when standing, I usually turn my hip into her and hug her kind of sideways. Whenever I’m in bed or sitting or whatever and she comes in, I’ll shift my legs or place the TV remote next to the device or otherwise make contact harder and/or plausibly explained by something else. I’ve even gone so far as to move her hand if it gets too close. The girl can be quick, though, and I know she’s hit it before, though it wasn’t more than a glancing brush.
Keeping them out of our sex life is one of the reasons I like silent devices. Integrated locks and lighter PA jewelry make a big difference.
Bob bloviated:
Having been locked into my metal cage for a few weeks I’m starting to find out some of its flaws.
Did you ever find yourself chafing at areas where the cage/ring was deep in folds of your skin? How did you combat both moisture & chafing?
Chafing is minimized by using a persistent silicone-based lubricant like System Jo Premium. I know a lot of sites (and even some manufacturers) call for water-based lubes, but it dries too quickly and then it’s useless. Others promote the use of petroleum jelly, but I found that to be too sticky. A small dab of JO under the balls at night and in the AM after I shower is all I need. I don’t even use that all the time when I’m in the Jail Bird or Looker (the rings are little bigger).
Which, of course, leads to fit. It could be your A-ring is a little too tight. Assuming your balls don’t turn purple and go numb when you get hard-ons, it might only be a little too tight (like Belle’s Steelheart). If it’s tight, lubrication is more important.
Another thing to consider is support. I can get some irritation like you describe if I go commando (not enough support) or wear tight underwear (too much support). I really like John Sievers Natural Pouch styles. It’s the Goldilocks underwear.
With regard to moisture, are you talking outside the device or inside? Looking at your blog, you appear to have an open cage device, so you’re probably talking about moisture outside. I make sure I dry very well after showering. I don’t generally have issues, but find that when I’m in wet conditions a lot (like on the boat or by the pool or whatever) it can get uncomfortable. Again, it’s about fit. The tighter the A-ring, the greater the issues.
This, from reader AB, came in right after I posted the last one:
After ordering an ill fitting Steelheart, I’ve bought the sizing rings from Mature Metal to try out some “mock” chastity. I’ve been wearing a larger ring around the base of my cock, which is tied onto another ring around the bottom of my shaft. I think i have a good size picked now due to fact that when flaccid, it’s almost unnoticeable, yet doesn’t move around.
My question to you is in regards to getting hard in chastity. When i get hard (and i do get fully erect without a cage to contain it), my junk has a dull ache, not quite pain, but almost, and the skin turns purple-ish (not flesh damaging extreme, but obviously showing that the cockring is too tight when erect).
Is this a normal part of the chastity experience? I’m imagining that this is why guys have trouble sleeping, but just want to be sure before shelling out more cash for a new device.
Your description of the sizing set-up reminds me of the Double Cockring I got from Steelworxx. With that, I ended up ordering the penisring (which is what Steelworxx calls the ring that…wait for it…goes around the penis!) to be just about the same size as the erect penis shaft (maybe just a tad smaller). I wanted to feel some grip, but not have the throbbing and purplish thing.
Remember, though, when the penisring is attached to a chastity tube, you’re not going to get fully erect. Not even close. In my experience, the penisring and tube shouldn’t be any bigger around (or longer) than the normal size of your flaccid member. You don’t want to give it more room than that so as to avoid the issue you’re describing. I mean, yeah, it’ll still throb because it’ll be locked into a steel trap, but in a good way, and, as I’ve said before, smaller tubes and cages are more comfortable overall than bigger ones. I know for a fact that the penis on me doesn’t get purple in the Jail Bird, for example, but I know it would if the cage wasn’t there to keep shit under control.
Also, regarding your cages, does the jailbird have any of the pull out pins, and if so, what is your review on them.
Never messed around with them. I did use something similar in concept with the CB6K. They made the device a lot more uncomfortable (not always in the bad way) and perhaps made it a little teenie bit harder to pull out, but not much. A soapy soft penis can get out of any predicament. I’d think of them more of a CBT thing than a security thing, but I invite other readers who have used them to chime in.
in your SH-s, how much space did you leave to accommodate for the PA, as well as the tube size (with the addition of the PA fixing)
I think you’re asking how much additional space I left in the tube for the PA. Not much. The different devices measure tube and cage length differently, but if you see the comparisons of Belle’s SH-S and Jail Bird, the usable space inside them appears to be about a quarter inch different. I certainly wouldn’t allow for more than that.
Are you going to try wearing a PA with the JB? I find I can’t do that due to pinching. I also can’t use it for security with the JB for the same reason.
And finally, you blog is so hot. I would gladly suck your cock and let you lick my armpits.
You’d be sucking steel, but that could be hot, too. The armpit thing we might be able to work out, depending on how Belle feels about it. In either event, thanks for the compliment!
Reader thehonourmethod opined:
I’ve been following your blog for some years now. I think you have a very refreshing outlook on male sexuality, one that chimes with my own experiences over the same period.
I too came to this ‘male chastity’ experience following an infidelity (well, several, actually). I introduced my then-partner to the concept at the same time as a full confession. In retrospect I overdid it and only ended up hastening the end of that relationship. Still, it was an interesting experience, hopefully for her as well as for me.
It’s pretty easy to overdo things at the beginning, idnit?
One of the things that I discovered during this rather turbulent period of my intimate life was that, although I came to the concept of ‘male chastity’ as an ostensible ‘cure’ for infidelity, it quickly became apparent (both to myself and to my then-partner) that it was actually just another way of me obtaining sexual gratification at her expense. Albeit, not ‘gratification’ in the traditional sense. But you know all about that…
In my opinion, chastity play (especially the long term flavor Belle and I employ) is an advance relationship technique. It’s not a cure to infidelity all by itself. I reject that notion mostly because stock chastity devices are so easy to defeat. The only cure to infidelity is to address the issues that led to it in the first place (or restructure your relationship to allow for outside activities so it’s not being unfaithful). I think the communication and openness necessary to do chastity well is exactly the kind of infidelity-snuffing thing I’m talking about, but the resulting chastity play is the effect of the cure, not the cause of it.
When I subsequently got together with one of the ladies I’d met during my ‘summer of love’, I wanted to keep this concept going but without the more disturbing implications (e.g. that if she didn’t lock me into a chastity device I’d probably cheat on her).
I’ve got a feeling that your relationship with ‘Belle’ is quite unique in the sense that this dynamic is genuinely present but you are also capable of genuine mutual intimacy.
I did buy my current partner a chastity device to lock her cock in but, although she found it very amusing – charming even – , there’s not the slightest chance of her ever taking it seriously as lifestyle accessory.
Why is that? I ask only because there was a time when Belle didn’t take the devices all that seriously (or even liked them that much), but she does now. At least as seriously as I do. She’s not into them for the sheer gear-heady gadget lust reasons I am, but she totally appreciates their purpose and role.
What I’m wondering is, what do you think about the role of the actual ‘device’? Is it ‘just’ a kind of metaphor, which is used to represent and provide a talking point for the kinky / intimate nature of your relationship, or does it play an ‘actual’ role, without which the dynamic would no longer work?
I ask because my partner and I are currently in a ‘long-distance’ phase of our relationship and I find that our intimate communication is enhanced if I act ‘as if’ her cock were locked into a chastity device, even though it isn’t.
There are two main problems about this. The first is that, although I am now three weeks in and only have another month to hold out until I see her again, there may be a moment of weakness. I really don’t want to have to confess that I have failed in my mission; even worse to keep it a secret (I do sometimes neglect to tell her about infractions, although I am always truthful if asked).
The second is that, although the whole beauty of the dynamic that is thus set up is due to our increased intimate long-distance communication (especially concerning her tell me about her sexual dreams, flirtations or – in a perfect world – orgasms), sometimes she tends to forget or ignore what I’m going through, assuming that it is as easy for me to simply refrain from sexual activity as it apparently is for her.
My question to you is: would you consider a ‘male chastity’ relationship dynamic that didn’t rely on a physical device to be ‘more ideal’ than one that did? Could you imagine discarding the reliance on devices and simply using her word instead? Would the dynamic be enhanced or destroyed by taking such a step? Or do you think I should renew my efforts to persuade Her to take responsibility for our intimate communication in this dynamic by ‘requiring me’ to wear a device?
I hope to hear back from you! Either way, keep up the good work!
The perennial question. On the one hand, if you don’t use a device, you’re not really in chastity. On the other, if you need one, you’re a pathetic sub with self-control issues.
We’ve done it both ways. Obviously, we mostly do it with the device. I like it better and so does Belle. For me, it’s a talisman representing her power and my position. Also, I’m into bondage and like the, well, bondage. I like feeling my erection compressed and fighting the steel. I like feeling the heft of it swing around as I move and have grown to prefer the feeling of my balls being kept orderly by the A-ring. I’ve talk about it kinda recently.
When I’m on my own recognizance, the entire thing has a different texture. It’s much more distracting since the penis is always there and often reminding me of the fact. It’s more likely to respond to stimuli and I’m forced to engage more willpower. I won’t say one way is better than that other as a way to do orgasm denial (no, you can’t force me), but for me, no device is a lot harder. We have chosen the enforced brand of chastity for us. It’s just a better fit, so to speak.
You say you’ve already cheated (not on the relationship, I mean the no diddling thing). You don’t volunteer this information, but admit it when asked. To me, that says you need the help of a physical device. Your “first line of defence” device (ie, your brain) isn’t yet up to the task of controlling your dick. Honestly, I can’t even imagine trying to be good (ie, not playing with it, let alone resisting orgasm) when separated from her for weeks or months at a time. It would be nearly impossible for me, I think, so I don’t say this with any kind of judgement.
So how about this. How about, when you’re away from her, you’re in a device, but when you’re not, you’re not. She doesn’t have to see it or deal with it or anything. All she has to do is hold the key. That way, you’re less likely to cheat (but unless you’re pierced, even that will still be possible) and get to enjoy the feeling of being kept. Tell yourself you’re doing it because she told you to. Don’t let your brain fuck around with the chicken and egg conundrum. Just don’t do it. If she buys off on this idea, you will be locked up because she told you to be. Period.
I’d also advise trying to get to the bottom of her not taking the device seriously as a “lifestyle accessory.” Does she know they come in sexier finishes? Belle didn’t really get into the devices until the first metal one came along. If she’s really GGG about all this and it’s no skin off her nose either way, it seems like you should be able to come to some agreement about it. Perhaps, in time, she’ll come to appreciate what the device can help you bring to the relationship, just like Belle. Maybe someday, she won’t even think of letting you be alone with your dick all free and floppy. But you can’t get there until you impress upon her how you feel about it and how important it may be to you.