Tag: enforced chastity

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Mailbag

Quick one today. Reader Alex opines…

Hey Thumper, love your blog! My girl friend and I have recently started to experiment with chastity. She loves the idea of being able to send me on business trips locked! But we have a couple concerns. The main one is sleeping in the device (Holy Trainer 2). She has read some horror stories about things happening at night, rolling and breaking it, cut off circulation, pain, ect. Do you have any advice or know about any of these risks? She is very nervous about it.

Also, have you tried to fly or go through security in the holy trainer 2?

I don’t think the Holy Trainer (1 or 2) would just break from rolling over in bed. At least, not the ones I’ve worn. Breakage of that device still baffles me. I never found it to be all that fragile, especially at body temps.

Will it cut off circulation? Perhaps, if it’s not fitted properly. It will be tight, but your balls shouldn’t turn purple or get cold. If so, the A-ring is too small. They might flush a darker red. That’s not unusual.

Pain. Well, it’s a little plastic tube and your erection is probably a lot bigger than it is. That said, it’s not pain so much as compression. I find the Holy Trainer (1 and 2) to be quite comfortable even while the penis is doing its usual morning thing. If you feel actual pain, again, it’s probably not fitted too well. I’ve gone on at some length about fitting a chastity device.

I don’t think she should be nervous. As long as you’re paying attention to the signals you’re getting from your body and nothing it turning cold and blue, it’s all good. No permanent damage is likely.

Regarding security, the HT will go through a metal detector just fine. The large walk-in scanners, though, should be able to detect it. I’ve had readers tell me they’ve done so without incident while I’ve read others who have said they got patted down. Probably you’d be OK, but there’s no guarantee and each trip through is a roll of the dice as I think it’s highly dependant on the operator of the scanner and their discretion.

When I travel with the Steelheart, Belle lets me go to the airport unlocked. I keep the SH in my carry-on and, once through security, I lock it on in the bathroom and send her a picture as proof. You could do something similar with the HT, but then you need to figure out a way to secure the key in a tamper-proof manner. Something like the Steelworxx key safe is nifty, though expensive. There are other homemade solutions out there if you’re handy enough.

Bonŝancon!

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Protecting muggle sensibilities whilst naked

Me on Twitter this AM:

The place I get my hair cut is right across the street from where I work. Super convenient and the nice gay man who cuts me is obsessive compulsive about it and makes me feel like I get my money’s worth (and it’s more than most people would pay for a simple haircut, I’m sure). They’ve been building a massage room there for about the last ten years (or so it seems) and the masseuse they have is really good (if a 15 minute chair massage is any indication). I’ve been very excited about the prospect of having a massage option so close and convenient and have been bugging them every time I’m there about when they were going to start accepting table massage clients. Today is that day. So I booked a 90 minute rub down.

Problem is, the above tweet (and its fucking typo1). I’m still locked up. Of course, I am not embarrassed by this. No, really. If the dude giving me the massage was in on my private life and cool, I’d be perfectly happy staying inside the thing as Belle wants and/or answering any questions my state would raise for him, but I really don’t know him. Plus, of course, reputable massage therapists are always having to fend off jokes and innuendo about their profession, so the good ones treat anything sexual like kryptonite. Plus plus, it is entirely uncool to bring someone into your kink without consent.

This is something I struggle with when seeing the trainer. I know for a fact he’s seen the odd bulge in my shorts and I do little to hide it (though I do do a little). There’s a fuzzy line between not dragging someone into your kinky sex life against their will and needing to live your life as you’ve chosen. In the case of the trainer, I feel like I’m on the right side of it. In the case of a (presumed) muggle masseuse, wearing a device that would be obvious through the sheet and/or clank a little when I roll over definitely is not. I get the concept of being forced into a potentially embarrassing situation like that might be uber hot in a chastity femdom porn story, but seriously. Not in real life.

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Since I forgot all about it, I don’t have Belle’s key which means I need to break into the one I have in case of emergency. Kinda bummed about that for no other reason than I’ve been able to maintain seal 1871290 since mid-March of last year. Now it has to die and be replaced with another silent key keeper.

It’s possible, I suppose, he’ll put a thick towel over me or a heavy sheet. And it’s possible that towel or sheet would be enough to hide the odd bulk of the Steelheart. But I recall one massage I got (at the Grand Californian at Disneyland of all places) where the sheet was ridiculously thin. Thin enough to figure out if the penis was circumcised. For real. Had I been locked, all would have been known instantaneously. It just seems really super creepy to me to not do something about the device if I can. Of course, I can. So I will.

While writing this, I’m still locked up. I’ll stay that way until I undress when I’ll pop the key and take the Steelheart off. Then, when redressing, I’ll put it back on. I’ll only be unlocked during the actual massage. Assuming, of course, that the key in the key safe is the right key. Damn. Just thought of that. Fuck.

Well…it is what it is. I’m pretty sure it’s the right one. We’ll know at about 3:10 this afternoon. Here’s hoping for that super thick towel or heavy sheet just in case…

UPDATE: The idea that I had the wrong key freaked me out enough to break into it and give it a test. Yes, it’s the right one. And yes, I’m still locked up.

1 Seriously, Twitter!? We STILL can’t edit fucking tweets? Facebook figured this out years ago now.

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Feral, free range rabbit

It’s been an odd couple of weeks around here.

First off, I was off in the woods over the long MLK weekend. Belle let me out the weekend before that, let me come, and then didn’t put me back in since I was flying on Wednesday. Got home Monday night and I just stayed unlocked. All of a sudden, it had been two weeks with no locked steel between my legs plus no sex.

The universe has decided to do interfere with our lives in a coordinated way. Things are going on both at her work and mine and together they’re a significant bummer. We’re maybe seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now, but we’re still living under this combined overhang and it’s no fun. That, as much as anything, also explains the gap in posts here.

In any event, we did finally fuck Saturday. Bummer or no, my hormones eventually overwhelmed the damper on my libido and, when shown a glimmer of hope from her, sparked into a sudden and raging need to be inside her.

She has a longstanding rule that I’m not allowed to play with the penis when unlocked absent her permission and, in the past, I was usually pretty good at following it, but I pledged that in 2015 I would follow it absolutely. The last few days were a significant challenge (and I was more or less neglecting the Tumblr for obvious reasons) but I found that whenever my hand was inexplicably on the hard penis, the idea of stroking it was really unappealing to me. Our base desires really can be rewired through conditioning. I wanted to feel the sensation of my fist pumping up and down around the hard shaft but even more badly wanted to feel as though I was doing what she expected and that I was keeping my word.

So yeah, when the time came, I was pretty fired up. It’s at those times when just a tiniest tease of my finger against her hot snatch will make me nearly combust and I’ll get a little more insistent with my actions than she likes.

“Remember,” she said, “This is supposed to be about me, not you.”

Years ago, I yearned for her to feel that way and act like it was true. Now it just is. Hearing the words were enough of a reminder to cause me to slow down and follow her body’s signals, not mine. Knowing that this dynamic was so deeply woven into our relationship left me feeling secure and comfortable in a way that’s difficult to explain as part of a hot sex scene. But there it was.

The entire time I was working on her, the penis was throbbing hard. Erections come in various strengths from happily plump to raging boner. When at the high end of the scale, you can feel the hardness. The straining of the erect tissue against the skin containing it. These are the erections of teenagers, but I had one then. I wanted so badly to fuck her. Then she came and immediately I felt the release valve go off. I could feel her heart beating with my fingers buried in her soft, hot wetness and my heart beating in the hardness between my legs and with each thump the penis was deflating just a little. It would shortly be too soft to use.

But I didn’t have time to worry about it. Just a few seconds after she came, she told me I could fuck so I hopped right up and got to work. The penis rapidly regained its strength. Then, even though my last orgasm was just two weeks ago, she said she wanted me to come. I didn’t even consider whether I wanted to or not. Of course, I wanted both. But she told me to so it was inevitable. I held it off as long as I could before coming.

I think it’s the case now that most of the time when she lets me come (which isn’t all that often) it’s those breathless few seconds of inevitability right after the building orgasm is at its peak (when, if edging, you back it off and let it die) and just before the ejacualte squirts forth that are the most enjoyable for me. It’s the very peak of the experience. Often, the intensity of ejaculating is so great that it hurts. As if something internal is getting flexed or pinched in a way its unused to. Far too much intensity. And then the crash. The crash I hardly ever feel in its full glory.

Belle told me after I had to go back into the Steelheart. She reminded me again Sunday morning that I had to after she came but, due to the visitation of her monthly visitor overnight, I was left out of the love tunnel. She did let me jack off but I wasn’t allowed to come this time and I got there so quickly suddenly that I didn’t have much time to enjoy it.

After more than two weeks, I really didn’t want to go back in. I got used to sleeping through the night. Of not dealing with the steel. Of not trying to hide it at the gym.

“Are you fighting me on this?” she asked. No, of course not. But…

“This is just proof how much you need to be locked up,” she said. “You know you need it, too. You’re better when you’re locked up.”

Swoon. Ache. Whimper.

Of course she’s right.

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Fishing for offense

Belle read my previous post about the penis problems from the other day and, while liking it in general, thought I was being defensive in the comments. Mostly because she was on the same page as the other women who left their thoughts. Essentially, women are conditioned/assume that if a man can’t get it up it’s somehow a reflection upon them, the woman he’s with, and not something else going on with the guy. The male commenters who indicated an opinion on the matter seemed to back me up. That erections were not as simple as showing a guy something sexually stimulating and waiting for the spongy tissue to fill up.

As the conversation went on, I realized that perhaps I was being a bit defensive, but I honestly don’t think it was underserved defensiveness. Usually, when I feel that way, it’s because the basic point of whatever post is being commented on has been missed. While that post didn’t have a salient point (some do, some don’t), I did try to establish as a man with a penis attached to his body that the simple stimulation = hard-on idea was incorrect. Yes, even men in all their supposedly binary simplistic ways, have a bit of nuance in how their sex works.

The notion that men’s sexual stimulation is as simple as a flicking a switch and that any issues he has, assuming they’re not physiological, are the responsibility of his partner seems to me sexist all the way around. As if men are simple bits with on and off settings and nothing in between and no psychological dimension to their arousal and, similarly, if he can’t get it up, it’s her problem, not his. That’s all kinds of fucked up.

I try not to go out of my way to find offense in things like this and I’m not trying assign the label of “sexist” on anyone in the conversation (and I’m fairly surprised to feel as though I’m on the other side of a sexist notion, to be honest about it). It could even be argued I’m overreacting. But it’s how I feel and, I think, the root of my “defensiveness.”

Of course, I didn’t need to write a post about erectile dysfunction issues. I could have glossed right over it. I don’t write about everything, after all. But I did and part of why I did was to hash out the difference between not getting it up because I wasn’t turned-on and not getting it up even though I was. Plus, I very specifically wanted to disabuse Belle of any idea that she was responsible. She may own the penis but she can’t control its function with such granularity. I became annoyed because the comments immediately went to where I specifically tried to redirect the issue. It’s fair to say women are conditioned to think their partner’s erections are their problems, but it’s frustrating to see that notion defended by women. I don’t think it’s fair nor anywhere near as simple.

I’ve written many times here that chastity and denial have rewritten some of the basic penis programming. It gets hard significantly less often due to stimulation while locked up than it does when unlocked. Additionally, once she comes, my body reacts in many ways as if I’ve come, though with less intensity than if I actually had. I also don’t think it gets quite as hard as it used to in similar situations nor does it stay as hard for as long. It’s very much a different organ than it was when we started (this even extends to the physical — there’s a permanent dent in the shaft now right where the Steelheart’s tube would hit during an erection). Plus, of course, chastity, denial, and D/s make me think about it and its role a lot more than a vanilla guy would. So it’s not really surprising to me at all that it would, on occasion, develop a hiccup. Even if only once in a while.

I can’t say to what extent Drew factors into any of this except to make the point as delicately as possible that the penis is usually not hard with him except when I’m under very specific stimulation. I have some theories as to why I seem to have had an issue resetting to being with Belle, but none of them are scary or menacing or anything at all anyone needs to worry about. It’s just how it is. A temporary blip.

For the record, the Sunday morning the penis worked exactly as designed. She told me I could fuck her and, as soon as I felt her wet pussy, it was ready for the task. No delay. It stayed that way the entire time until I came. The orgasm was intense, even painful, but not unpleasant. Clearly, whatever the cause of the previous day’s issues, they were resolved. I’d prefer not to think of it as a “problem” and it’s certainly not Belle’s to worry about. I really wish she wouldn’t, regardless of conditioning.

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How to measure for a male chastity device

“How do I measure for a chastity device?”

I get this question a lot. Just yesterday, someone on Twitter asked for the advice. I’ve never put it all in one place but have decided to do so for two reasons. First, it’ll make those looking for the information more likely to find it and, second, it’ll save me the time of having to say it over and over. And over again.

There are three measurements you need if you’re trying to size a trapped-ball style chastity device even if you’re going to buy a mass-produced one (like the Holy Trainer or CB-6000):

  • Flaccid penis length (tube/cage length)
  • Flaccid penis diameter (tube/cage diameter)
  • Circumference of both the penis and testicles combined (A-ring circumference)

You may also need to specify the gap width between the tube and ring but I’ve always left that to the manufacturer’s default and been satisfied. As far as I know, the only plastic device that lets you play with this is the CB-6000. The others are fixed.

In my experience and opinion, erect size is not a thing you have to worry about since the entire purpose of a chastity device is to arrest and defeat an erection. I’ve been asked if this is still the case for someone who’s a “grower” (i.e., their flaccid size is far smaller than their erect size) and my guess is no, but I don’t know for sure. I’d be interested to hear the experiences of others in this regard. My hunch is the difference would have to be really big for the erect size of the penis to be an issue. Chances are, sport, that ain’t you. But every penis is like a snowflake: unique. What’s worked for me or the majority of men may not work for all of them.

Also, with regard to issues of erect size, you won’t be doing yourself any favors if you buy a device with room in it thinking it’ll be better for when your dick tries to get hard. Smaller devices are more comfortable than larger ones (as unintuitive as that sounds). If you give the penis a little room to grow inside the device you will experience more pain and discomfort than otherwise, based on my experience. Therefore, you want to determine the normal size of your penis when it’s flaccid and size the device to that.

The thing every owner of a penis knows is that they’re all over the place with regard to size. They shrink up and they plump out (even when you’re not turned on) and can be any size in between. The same goes with scrotums. They’re constantly moving around (seriously, just sit and watch them someday). It is their function, after all, to maintain the temperature of the testes the best they can and that means pulling them closer or letting them hang farther away from your core body heat. Also, some men are “high and tight” in that their scrotums don’t hang down very far at all even when they’re at their most relaxed. Wearing a device is more difficult for these guys, especially at first. Over time and with extended wear, a chastity device will actually stretch a scrotum a bit and loosen that skin up, but it takes a while.

But anyway, as I said, “normal” flaccid size is what you’re looking for. This means a few things. First and most important is to take several measurements over time and at different times. I’d recommend something like 10 or 12 over a few days. Second, try your hardest not to think about what you’re doing. You’re measuring for something that very likely turns you the fuck on so watch Old Yeller or pay your taxes of something beforehand to get your mind off the topic entirely. Otherwise, you know what will happen. Bottom line, nobody knows your penis as well as you do. You know when it’s smaller or larger than normal. If you’re still unsure, err on the short side. If this is a problem for your ego…I can’t help you with that.

Different manufactures use different methods of measuring so make sure you communicate how you did it to them at the time you order. Mature Metal, for example, says you should measure the bottom of the penis. Typically, the penis is measured from the top (at least in my opinion) at the point where its shaft meets your’ pelvis down to the tip. Simple enough.

Most manufacturers want to know the diameter of the penis shaft when ordering. You can eyeball this from above with a ruler but, since penises can sometimes be thicker vertically than they are horizontally, a more accurate way to measure it would be to find diameter from circumference. This can be done a couple different ways. One simple method is to wrap a length of string around it and then measure that against a ruler or tape measure. Alternatively, if you have a tailor’s-style tape measure, you could use that. Once you have the circumference you can find your shaft’s diameter by dividing it by our magical friend π (3.14).

The string method is probably the simplest way to find the total circumference of the entire package though a tailor’s tape is also workable. Mature Metal offers sizing rings to help determine the A-ring size, though remember you’re not sizing a cock ring. Cock rings need to accommodate a full erection and chastity devices don’t necessarily. Initially, I wore a ring that was too big because I sized myself after wearing it all the time, even when I woke up with a raging morning erection.

It’s also worth noting that I’ve found the size A-ring your body can tolerate will change over time, especially during the early days. When first starting out, I discovered I needed a ring that was 2″ (50mm) in diameter. The one I spend most of my time in now is just over 1.5″ (40mm). That’s a huge size swing but it didn’t happen over night. I wore a 45mm ring for several months before moving to 40mm. I think the perfect size for me is actually right now about 42mm. Yes, two little millimeters makes a big difference. What I’m getting at here is you may want to consider ordering two rings up front.

Note that significant changes in your weight or fitness level will also impact the size ring you wear. I’ve needed a slightly larger ring after becoming more active (even though that resulted in weight loss).

The other thing to consider when sizing for an A-ring is the material the device will be made of. Metal is heavier, of course, and I’ve found a ring that fits well when it’s made of lighter plastic will feel too big when used for a metal device.

Another thing I can say about A-rings is they’ll be more comfortable if oval-shaped (sometimes called “anatomically shaped”). It leaves more room for the spermatic cords and vas deferens and other associated plumbing. Constriction of these is the leading cause of pain while in chastity, I’ve found.

Eventually, what you’re looking for is a ring that is snug, but not too tight. You should be able to get your little finger under it when flaccid. When hard, as long as your balls aren’t turning purple and getting cold, it’s not too small. If you’re experiencing testicular pain like a mild version of getting kicked in the balls, it’s probably a little too small (or round). Perfect world, your balls don’t hurt or turn blue (though they may turn a darker color red) but it’s still snug. If the device hangs too low or you can get your fingers through when hard, it’s too big. If your balls pop though when flaccid, it’s also too big (remember, “trapped-ball”). Yes, this is complicated stuff, but there’s a lot of complicated plumbing down there and sensitive tissue.

Of course, all this precise measuring is only really necessary when ordering custom. I DO NOT recommend anyone start out with chastity that way. First thing you should do is buy a plastic device. I recommend the Holy Trainer at the moment but the CB-6000 is also popular for some reason. Get the device that best fits your proportions. In the case of the tube, err on the short side, and in the case of the ring, err slightly larger.

It’s entirely possible you still have questions after all this or comments from your own experience. If so, please feel free to leave a comment below.

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KHD X3 espresso review

Everyone knows how printers work (more or less): A computer program reads a file and uses its instructions to tell a printer to spray differently colored inks onto a piece of paper in specific places as the paper rolls by underneath. 3D printing is both just like that and also totally different. There’s still a program on a computer and a file with printing instructions, but instead of ink and paper the printer “prints” in layers of plastic. There are actually several different technologies that get lumped under “3D printing” but the most common is one where a machine lays down extraordinarily thin layers of plastic. Just like the head of a conventional printer, many passes are made, one over another, until the object is rendered. The smaller the particle being produced, the higher the “resolution” of the printer. Just like with ink, higher resolution results in greater detail and smoother lines.

3D printers are still pretty expensive. There are many more people with ideas of objects that can be made using them (and people willing to buy those objects) than there are printers. That’s where a company like Shapeways comes in. They have the printers and the infrastructure to list a creator’s item online, accept payment, and then ship the goods once they’re printed up. No inventory since it’s all manufactured on-demand. Want to mount your FitBit on your watch? Someone else did, too, and there’s just what you’re looking for on Shapeways. Lots of weird custom things only a small group of enthusiasts might want which makes them perfect for a print-on-demand type service. Yes, this is the future we’re talking about, but it’s happening right now.

Usually on the internet, one of the first and most profitable applications for new technology involves sex. Things like online video and browser-based credit card transactions were pioneered by the adult industry. So it’s somewhat a surprise to me that there aren’t a ton of 3D printed sex toys out there. Search for “dildo” on the Shapeways site and only two come up. Search for “chastity” and you get nothing.

But, there are chastity devices there. In particular, one that’s getting some attention lately called the KHD X3 espresso.

The typical NSFW images leave the rest of this after a jump… Continue reading “KHD X3 espresso review”

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Mailbag

Adam made this comment to my CB-6000 tips and tricks page:

hi thumper. sorry for the weird question but, not sure if i missed it but was there any advice you can give please about dealing with the emotional side of being locked in chastity? how to cope/deal with…… not sure how to explain just really struggling here and only been in cb6000 just over 3 days now. lol. very inexperienced. been feeling really anxious etc.

In a way, this whole blog is about that. But since that’s a lot of reading, let me try and summarize.

First and foremost, being locked up is supposed to be fun, hot, sexy, etc. It is not supposed to be anxiety-inducing (well, not the bad kind of anxiety anyway). If you’re not having fun or feeling hot and/or sexy, STOP.

Second, you don’t mention if this is something you’re doing with yourself or a partner. If with a partner, you need to talk it out with them. Was this their idea or yours? Or a joint venture? What were you hoping you’d feel versus what you’re feeling. Try and suss out why it makes you anxious (assuming it’s more than just being really horny which can be enough, I know). I guess what I’m saying is, if this is a dynamic you’re trying out with your partner, they need to be part of the solution.

If it’s something you’re trying by yourself, then take the damned thing off and have an orgasm. When we first started, I could barely go 24 hours being denied. The day after I didn’t come for the first time I was bouncing off the walls. I had to build up to days at a time before days turned to weeks then months. There’s an adjustment period your body has to go through as it processes the hormonal load that usually dissipates after orgasms. So don’t try and jump right to advanced denial. Walk before you run.

Now, all that said, sometimes chastity is supposed to be really frustrating. Sometimes it’s about the struggle of coping with the anxious edge of being locked up and separated from your dick and horny as hell and totally controlled. Just like other types of sadomasochism (because that’s what enforced chastity is), there’s both a good and evil side. Pain can be a total turn on or a terrible turn off. Same pain in the same place administered in the same way, opposite results. Same with chastity. You need to be in the right frame of mind when you enter into it or close enough that the fact it’s happening can coax you over the line. But if you’re freaked out to begin with, it’s not going to work. Good luck!

Alex mused:

Hey Thumper, love your blog! My girlfriend and I have been reading it for a while and just purchased our first chasity device. The Holy Trainer 2. We got the clear normal sized one. Took a couple try’s to get it on. However, whenever it’s on, it protrudes 1-2 inches from my body. Basically pulling the whole device with my balls/penis away. And the pelvic area that protrudes is hard tissue, but not due to being aroused as I had just orgasmed to help that issue. Any advice?

Hmm. That sounds like you’ve got an erection. Pretty typical stuff when sporting wood. If that’s not the case, is it too tight? Are your balls cold and blue? (BTW, cold and blue is a bad thing.) Is your flaccid penis six inches long? You’ve stumped me on that one. Readers?

Had the following exchange with someone getting pinched in their tube by their PA ring:

Hi Thumper – I just received my new Steelworxx CB-Zero and thought you would like to see – http://fetlife.com/users/667861/pictures/34437364

Dims – 45mm Ring, 31mm cage, 82mm length

Fits very well – except night time erections are OUCHHHHHHHH!!! I believe it is pinching between the open rings – basically feels like cloths pins.  Hopefully time will help this a bit, but if this continues I will probably send a message to Dietmar to get a steelheart cage and just use the CB-Zero cage for when my wife wants that one on.  (She loves the look of this cage and having the ever so slight view of what’s going on inside.)

I think there might be some pinching with the PA fixing also – I’m using a 5/8″ 8ga smooth segment ring.  It’s really difficult to tell – do you have any advice on the PA fixing and preventing pinching and/or twisting?

Before I had a chance to reply, he added:

Hey Thumper – I sent you a message yesterday and I wanted to follow up.

I believe I determined the source of the “pinching” with the PA fixing.  I believe the segment ring is getting pushed into the top of the urethra during an attempted erection.  There must just not be enough room in the tip of the cage with the glands and segment ring.  Have you ever heard of this compliant with a Steelworxx device utilizing a captive bead or smooth segment ring?

And I said…

I was going to say it was the ring. I have a segment ring and can’t wear it for the same reason, either in or out of the SH. I’d try a captive bead ring. That’s what I use. Even though my piercing is a 4ga I wear an 8ga ring because it takes up less room in the tube. 

He replied…

Any idea what the difference between the smooth segment ring and captive bead ring is?  Is it lower profile on the bead side?

Me…

In my experience, the edges of the segment ring can be too sharp (and you have four of them). The ball ring has nothing but smooth surfaces. Nothing to bother the very tender tissue inside the urethra. 

I find that my segment ring has exposed edges and those edges are sharp as fuck. I really like the look of a segment ring, but I can’t wear it at all. Captive ball rings FTW.

That’s all, folks. Happy new year!

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Holy Trainer v2 review

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What you get in the box.

The second iteration of the Holy Trainer male chastity device was released about 12 minutes after I finished my review of the first. In my experience and opinion, the new version makes what was already the leading plastic device even better.

Note that this review primarily covers how the device has changed in its revised version. For the most complete version of my opinion the Holy Trainer, be sure to also read my review of the v1 Trainer. One NSFW image puts the rest of this post after a jump…

Continue reading “Holy Trainer v2 review”

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Belle’s analogy

At some point yesterday, I was showing Belle something on the Facebook and a message from Drew popped up. There’s no telling what he might be saying (or showing) so I quickly flicked the pop-up away and we kept doing whatever it was we were doing. I was 22% flummoxed.

Last night, as we were laying in bed going to sleep, she told me I didn’t have to worry about going out of my way to hide how and when I message him. It wasn’t a big deal to her. Also, she volunteered that she thought about my time with Drew as not being unlike when she went for a mani-pedi. A treat for myself that just doesn’t involve her. Without the noxious fumes.

In addition, she’s given her approval for me to go to LA with Drew over some weekend this summer to take in a ballgame in my hometown. Haven’t picked the dates yet and I need to figure out the logistics around the various metal detectors I’ll encounter (not just at the airport — MLB stadiums all have them now, too). I may need her to either let me wear plastic rather than the Steelheart or we’ll need to figure out some kind of picture-sending thing to ensure security.

I tell you this for no other reason than to point out what an exceptional spouse I have. Opening our marriage up in this way has only made it stronger.

With that, I wish all my readers a very merry Christmas and joyeux Noel.

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Mailbag

Johnny wanted to know:

Can you explain how  the steelworxx pa fitting works. How does it feel when flaccid or hard? Does it put pressure on the piercing.

The fixing goes through the PA ring and then into the tube and onto the tube’s posts before locking. It allows for easy movement of the ring back and forth and up and down (to an extent) but does not allow for the PA ring to be completely withdrawn (and neither, therefore, is it possible for the penis). I don’t feel it at all when flaccid and will only occasionally feel a pinch when hard if I’m wearing my normal 4ga PA ring. Usually (like now) I’m wearing an 8ga ring and it’s rarely uncomfortable.

Here’s a video (way NSFW) I made a while back that shows how the whole thing comes together.

Tyler asked:

Hey man.  I love your blog about your Looker 02 chastity device.  I am very interested in getting one of these as well.  I have looked at the steelworxx website and I am confused about how I order one for my size.  How do I size myself and know which sizes to buy?  Are you in the US?  Is there anywhere in the US to get them?   Thanks man

There’s three sizes you need to order a Looker 02 (and pretty much any other device like that one): Flaccid penis length, flaccid penis circumference, and flaccid circumference around both the penis and your balls. I recommend several measurements since penises are tricky beasts and move around and back and forth, all on their own accord. Get an average and make sure, if it affects you, to specifically not think about what you’re doing. Also, do not succumb to the temptation to add length for your erection. You’ll be more comfortable in a shorter tube than a longer one.

Note that the circumference of your entire package is probably the one you’ll get wrong. You don’t want whatever size cock ring you wear since a cock ring needs to accommodate a fully erect penis and the A-ring of a chastity device doesn’t. However, if you make it too small, your balls will turn cold and blue and that’s VERY BAD. My advice, assuming you have the budget, is to get two or more rings and/or prepare yourself mentally to be sending your device back at some point to get a new ring.

There are other measurements like the gap between the ring and the tube, but I let Dietmar use his defaults on those and have been satisfied.

No, there is no US location for Steelworxx. It’s basically one craftsman in Germany (as far as I know).

Kerri said:

I’m not expecting you to reply, I just hope maybe you can help my journey.

I’ve been following your blog for over a year now and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for you to share your journey so publicly because I have found a lot of comfort in knowing that my desires aren’t necessarily singular, alone or deviant.

I would like to find an online resource where I can ask for advice in a safe environment.  I don’t know how to process the way I am feeling or how to best explain it to my husband.  I have looked for forums where I might ask advice, but I don’t want to bare my soul to anyone who is likely to think I am weird.

My husband and I have been together for 16 years, married for 12 and have 2 children.  I have always felt the way I do now but am so terrified of losing my husband, I either need to not feel how I do, or ask him to be what I need.

I don’t want to bother you with all our details, but if you can suggest any online resources that might help, please do.  I firmly believe that we can be great together based on the times we have experimented, but I would dearly love some advice on how to approach the situation so that I don’t ruin things between us.

I assume you’re a woman looking to be denied orgasm by your husband, though I suppose you could be the other way around.

I have never been asked this before, if indeed I’m correct about what you’re asking. You are not alone or deviant. Not at all and not in the slightest. My first advice would be to get yourself a FetLife profile and find a group of people like you and/or in your area. There’s also the book When Someone You Love is Kinky. You could get that and give it to your husband when you have the talk.

Other than that, I’m not sure what to say except that YOU ARE NOT A FREAK and if your husband loves you, he won’t think you are either. I have been where you are and felt as you do and am so much happier now to own who I am and what makes me happy. You will be, too, someday. I promise.

I ask my readers (many of whom are women) to chime in with their perspectives.

Niklas opined:

Sorry for the following cheesyness, but i really need to get this off my chest first:

“WOW!!! I stumbled upon your blog recently and its absolutely insane how much time and effort you seem to be devoting into it. Hands down: This is probably the best and most authentic ressource on the topic that i’ve seen and your videos and, posts and reviews have been a tremendous help and encouragement to give this whole thing a spin. Thank you SO MUCH for this great blog and keep keep up the good work”

You’ve got me to the point where i’m (quite literally) a mouseclick away from odering my first ever device and i’m sort of torn between the HolyTrainer 2 and the Steelheart. To me the trainer seems to make a lot more sense anatomically speaking and the steelheart seems to be kind of hard to keep clean…

However the price difference is not thaaaat big and you said the steelheart hangs lower (so is less visible?!) and generally metall i guess would be better. Also I have a PA so that would be a plus for the Steelheart.

I would still tend to the trainer but you seem to have such good experience with the Steelheart…

Also I’m wondering if there is a limit as to who can buy the smaller tubes with the Trainer. If i understand correct „the more squezed everything is, the more comfy, because an errections just doesn’t even built up“?

Maybe you’d give some advice to a novice if you have a minute. I’d be really really psyched.

Get the Holy Trainer 2. If you really dig it, upgrade to steel with a PA fixing later on.

The size of the tube is related to the size of your flaccid penis, not your erection. I can’t explain why, but giving your hard-on more room ends up being more painful than not.

Steph wanted to know:

Just looking for advice on what would be the best chastity for allowing one to workout .. these would be the areas i’d be considering —

cycling (spin classes and road bike), running, swimming, pilate/yoga

The choosing from my point of view really would seem to come down to having any behind-the-sac rings or going with tubes that would be kept on by pa piercings. i like the concept also of urethral tubes, but not too sure how that would go with working out.

A few months ago, I wrote this. Touches on a lot of what you’re asking.

That said, I don’t think any device will work for you doing pilates or yoga. Too much stretching, etc., and I’m assuming you aren’t interested in everyone seeing what’s locked between your legs. Steelworxx has several interesting devices (like this one) that don’t go behind scrotum, but I haven’t worn any of them. Perhaps one of those would be better for those kinds of activities.

That’s all I have right now. Regular apologies to those who waited for a reply.