Tag: enforced chastity

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It’s a team sport

Friday night I was laying in bed flipping and flopping and trying to ignore the fact that I was working up to another sleepless night due to an overabundance of hormones. It’s been a hard few weeks since Belle and I had so much time apart, but also we’ve been in a period where she’s not been too interested in me or what I’m able to do for her (i.e., little or no sex). It was three o’clock in the morning and I was stewing.

Apparently, my tossing woke her up. When I realized this, I started to talk to her about it. I told her that the game we play is a team sport. It requires two to work. I can’t do it by myself. Also, our relationship is enhanced by the hardware that’s attached to the penis, not defined by it. If she didn’t feel interested in engaging, then we didn’t have to do it. Indeed, “setting and forgetting” has the opposite affect on me. I didn’t feel closer to her, I felt more distant. And while I wasn’t trying to guilt her out or sound angry, I could feel myself moving in that direction.

She told me to take it off. She also told me I could come. I was simultaneously sad and excited. I couldn’t really discuss the prospect of having an orgasm rationally. My hand was even shaking. She unlocked the lock and I disassembled the steel and jerked off next to her. When I came, it was a relief. I could feel the wave of sleep-inducing chemicals wash out of my brain. After wiping the goo from my body, I found sleep.

The next morning, she wanted to fool around. Surprisingly, I had it in me. I offered to let her come by riding the stiff penis, but she opted for the usual fingering. She said she’s been “trained” to want it that way. Funny. We’ve both been trained. After she came, I fucked her to completion. Two orgasms in less than six hours. The decadence.

We’re not on a total break. I’m not allowed to come without her, but I’m not sure if that means there’s any limit to how often I can come as long as she’s there. Even though I’d done it twice in the past day or so, I want it again. I’d be doing it right now except she’s not home. The device will be off for at least two weeks since we leave next Saturday for our Spring vacation.

In any event, things might get a little quiet around here for a while. I’ve got some HNT queued up for Thursday, but other than that, I’m not sure what else I’ll have to talk about.

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Mailbag

Catching up on some mailbag items…

Thanks for a great website.  I am about to start a long time in a CB-6000 with PA cable on Thursday.

I do have an odd question for you….

I need to wear an athletic cup for sparing in martial arts.  I know I can get the cup over the device but I suspect if I actually get kicked, the device and cup will work together to rack my balls badly.  Any advice on this?  (I wear the cup to prevent damage to my balls… I can handle some pain… I THINK!)

I know for a fact that one can wear these devices during physical activities, but I wouldn’t wear one while participating in a contact sport. A device ties all the squishy bits together in a way they weren’t designed so that as one part moves in one direction during a hit and another part might move in an opposite direction, they’re forced to move together and that might be bad. Especially if you’ve got a cable running through the whole set up that fixes the end of your penis in place with a ring that’s been punched through your urethra. Man. I get creeped out just thinking about it.

The cup might offer some measure of protection, I suppose, but if it’s like ones I’ve worn there won’t be much room in it for all the extra plastic. If it were me, I’d figure out a way to take it off while kicking and being kicked.

I have recently found your blog about male chastity, actually, I have recently found out about male chastity.  I have been looking for a way to spice up my marriage a little.  I have been married to a great wife for 14 years now, 3 kids and the spice is not what it used to be.  We are both just starting to get back into wanting sex more.  Although, she likes missionary only.

I am researching this as much as I can and like to talk with normal people that are doing this and what I can learn from them. Bringing this up to her and getting her to go along with this will be difficult, so wondering if you have any suggestions.

If you’re asking about how to approach her, I’m not a very good resource. I don’t really have a strategy because when I first found out about enforced chastity I immediately shared it with Belle and we were on our way. We were in a particular place in our relationship where I felt comfortable sharing this interest with her. The best advice I have would be to explain that normal people really do do this. Really. Yes, it’s kinky, but not like taped up hamsters. It’s pretty tame, actually.

If you’re looking for things to share with her, I more or less think Sarah Jameson’s stuff is pretty good. That’s not a bad place to start. She puts things in a way that might appeal to the average woman and, as long as you can see through her submissive male bigotry, is reasonably practical. Obviously, I think the stuff Tom’s written is another great resource. Belle in particular has appreciated his point of view. Don’t forget Dev, either! I also think the gang over at the Chastity Forums are pretty levelheaded. That’s another good place for you to go as you figure out a strategy on how to move forward with your wife. Finally, I’m asking others to add their two bits and/or links in the comments. I know there are smart people reading this who could help.

Good luck!

I read your blog because you are an honest writer.  You don’t pull punches or shy away from topics that um, well might embarrass others.  However, having said that, you may not want to tackle the subject I am about so ask you to write about, because it’s so full of emotional, political, and even religious focus.  The subject is homosexuality versus bisexuality. I have commented before that I find the idea of gay male sex a real turn on, but I have never felt a “man crush” for any man. Conversely, I have had many a crush on woman that don’t physically turn me on.

I also am one of the many guys that finds lesbian sex a huge turn on, but other then the fact that its usually two very attractive woman doing things that I like to do with a woman, I don’t know why it turns me on.  Just watching two beautiful women kiss drives me crazy.  And although two guys can talk about lesbian sex with zero social stigma, you rarely hear two guys talk about gay male sex.  Kind of a double standard there, I think.

So, that double standard got me to thinking that bi-sexuality might not have the “falling in love crush” attached to it, but rather is simply physical pleasure derived from both the physical act and the “taboo” nature of the act. (not unlike anal sex for some). The hardcore homosexual organizations talk about bisexuals as a cop out or as an out right denial of sexual identity.  And mostly they take this position for political reasons.  They seem to be saying “We’ve worked so hard to get our rights established in the law, we don’t want any of you fence sitters screwing it up, come out or shut up.”  That’s why I think that bisexuals get this horrible rap of being confused or closet homosexuals. I call bullshit on that. I’m not confused, I like the same kind of sex that homosexuals do.  I just don’t feel like I could fall in love with someone and have a “pair bonded” relationship with them.  Thank god there is strap-on sex…the closes thing I’ll ever get to gay male sex!

Help me explain this better can you?

I spent many years of my life essentially paralyzed by my seemingly contradictory impulses with regard to sex. I kept trying to find a paradigm I could fit myself into and it just wasn’t there. By the time I decided to stop obsessing and get on with things, I was approaching thirty. I lost most of my twenties, sexually speaking. It is a waste of fucking time.

Fact is, people are going to feel how they’re going to feel. Kinsey nailed it back in the Forties with his scale. Human sexuality is a fluid continuum that simply cannot be diced into orderly blocks to suit anyone’s moral preferences. We are all born this way, to one degree or another, as are many other animals. There is no right answer and its society’s problem that this isn’t recognized and accepted, not ours.

I’ve recently started reading a book called Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality. Here’s a snippet from the Amazon description:

Like the typewriter and the light bulb, the heterosexual was invented in the 1860s and swiftly and permanently transformed Western culture. The idea of “the heterosexual” was unprecedented. After all, men and women had been having sex, marrying, building families, and sometimes even falling in love for millennia without having any special name for their emotions or acts. Yet, within half a century, “heterosexual” had become a byword for “normal,” enshrined in law, medicine, psychiatry, and the media as a new gold standard for human experience.

I recommend you check it out! It’s an eye-opener.

The following came from a comment to another post.

This is from http://chastewench.blogspot.com/ and has nothing to do with your recent post, but it does describe my exact situation and I hate it! Any suggestions you might have that would smooth out the ups and downs?

Rollercoster

Various blogs suggest that the way to motivate a man is to keep him desperate. It’s so scarily true.

A few days of tease and denial and I’m ready to do anything the Empress of my cock says. Yet once I’m sated it’s difficult to relate to why I was so malleable and so desperate to be dominated. It’s like looking at another person, one you don’t quite get, and finding yourself a little shocked by their antics. Thinking ‘was that really me?’

The peculiar thing is the more I’m denied, and the nastier she is, the more I crave submission, discipline, humiliation, abuse, pain. The desire to be dominated builds and builds. The constant forfeit of control and state of excitement is so addictive. Crazy as it sounds it’s almost as if the more she denies me the more a part of me wants it to continue. The more I sink into submission.

Then she lets me cum and then buzz is gone. I’m left bemused, shaking my head at my own behaviour. Having to remind myself that I signed a contract, try to rationalise putting the chastity belt back on, when I no longer really want to be locked away, I’m no longer in the mood. Then with a snap of the lock the ride starts all over again.

So, so familiar with that particular ride, as would be anyone who’s found themselves locked up for more than a single play session. It gets to the question of what is a true submissive. If one only feels that way after being denied (or feels it much more strongly), then is that person a real sub? Honestly, I leave that question to others to decide. For Chaste Wench and for me and for many others (maybe even you), we like that eventual feeling of profound submission. The part where you can’t get enough of whatever she’s dishing out. As far as I’m concerned, you need at least a seed of submission in you somewhere for it to grow, but really, if it feels good, who cares?.

The cratering of desire for all this chastity play after orgasm can’t be helped (assuming it’s a pleasurable orgasm). It’s chemical. Once you come and the brain releases its happy juice into your bloodstream, it snuffs out the other chemicals that drive the need to be locked and disciplined and abused. There really is no way around it, other than either always ruining the guy’s orgasm or never ever letting him have another (which is rife with its own set of issues). After the spurt, you feel kind of embarrassed for ever wanting to wear the thing in the first place and wonder what all the hubbub was about. If you have a blog like this one, you go back and read things that, even though you wrote them, you have a hard time feeling.

Personally, my advice would be to enjoy the ride. When it’s up, it’s the best fucking thing in the word (or at least feels that way). When it’s down, you simply need to take solace in the fact that, given time and a secure device, all will feel right in the world eventually. For me, assuming it’s just one orgasm, that’s about 2-3 days. Hardly any time at all!

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Damnedable meat

I took the device off this morning. After all, I was going to fly and I couldn’t very well take it through security with me. My plan had been to take it off just before I was about to leave. After my shower and after I was dressed and packed and essentially ready to walk out the door. You know, because I didn’t need the temptation of being left alone with the naked weenie.

Good plan, but somehow the steel was off about three minutes after my last image proving the penis was secured the entire time I was gone had been posted. My concern over temptation was well founded. I ended up jacking it in the shower, after I dried off, while getting dressed, and even in the airplane bathroom at 35,000 feet. I never came, but my underwear was well crusted by the time I got home. Copious leakage.

As soon as I got in the door at home, I retrieved the Steelheart Short from my checked bag, disassembled it, pulled down my semen-stained underwear, and locked the damnedable meat back into its prison. It’s not that I wanted to be bad (relatively, of course – it wasn’t as bad as that other time I was in a hotel by myself), it’s more like I had no choice. I don’t recall making the conscious decision to do any of it. It just happened. The device was off and my hand was wrapped around the stiffy and pulling like crazy. I was able to back off before orgasm because actually coming now it a hard line for me and enough to make me stop, but each time I’d tell myself to stop and focus on the task at hand only to find that task was in my hand and getting worked over. In any event, it’s secure once again. And while I can feel the flickering remnants of the desire to hold its hardness deep inside me, the stainless steel is helping to push that urge further and further away.

As I was snapping the new numbered lock into the keysafe (1871222, in case you’re keeping score at home), I realized I had a whole baggie full of the things and Belle never pays attention to the number currently in use. Theoretically, I could pop the lock and use the key for nefarious purposes and lock everything back up again without anyone being the wiser. Really, I should only ever have the one plastic lock at a time. The rest shouldn’t be in my possession. I’m giving her the baggie as soon as she comes home.

The other thing that dawned on my today is that I have no idea how long it’s been since I came. None at all. I could go back and figure it out with the blog, but I’m not going to. It hasn’t been a really long time, but it’s been long enough that I’m super fucking horny (Did I mention I took a few nipple clamps with me on my trip? My nips still ache.). Belle’s always said she doesn’t like to count the days like I do so I’m doing my best not to think too hard on it and count them. I shall be blissfully unaware and focus on things that matter. My orgasms are pretty far down that list.

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Deep in the heart

Belle and I are apart again. This past Monday, she flew to Miami for work and she just got home yesterday. Today, I flew to Austin, Texas, for South by Southwest. It’s my first time for both Austin and SXSW.

In any event, Belle told me she wanted the penis locked up for the entire time I’m here. I double (and triple and quadruple) checked to make sure, but yes, that’s the state in which she prefers the meat. I got to the hotel about 15 minutes ago and have just secured her property.

I was surprised when she let me out last night. I didn’t expect that until this morning. I had a hard time going to sleep last night with the very apparently unlocked penis and her hand wrapped far too gently around it. Had she left it secured, I would have fallen asleep easily. But once it got out, it was all I could think about. I liked that she was touching it, of course, but as I said, her hand was just barely grasping it and even if I moved my hips I couldn’t get any good sensation out of the situation. I’m pretty sure it was still hard when I fell asleep.

Getting the device back on in the hotel was tricky. I have been very good and didn’t do anything with it since last night (even in the shower this morning) that I didn’t have permission to do. Being by myself in a hotel and getting stared down by its one good eye made putting the cold steel back on very difficult. I can tell how long it’s been since I last came by how hard it was getting the testicles through the A-ring (especially the right one). After they popped through with a couple of winces, the penis was starting to stir and was chubbed out to about 60% when the tube went over the end of it. I pushed and shoved until the two posts found their home in the ring and kept squeezing the two parts together until the lock was able to slide in and close. As I write this, the shaft is burning as it adjusts to its confinement and shifts back to its natural position.

The key is secured in its little holder, numbered lock in place. I’ve posted a picture of both the penis and the key after the jump (with regard to the shoving and pushing, you can actually see the skin kind of bulging out around the tube opening in the picture). I will add another picture of the key each day to this post to prove that I’m being good. I don’t leave until Tuesday morning, but I’ll have to post another then to show that I was as faithful to Belle’s wishes as I could be.

Continue reading “Deep in the heart”

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Mailbag

New submissions from readers:

I was wondering you thoughts on Mature Metal’s Jailbird outfitted with one of the anti-pullout pins (maybe even a second base ring) vs. a Steelheart with the penisring (http://steelworxx.de/Penisring-51p.html).

I know without a PA piercing the inescapable trapped ball device doesn’t exist, but I want to get as close as possible. I have seen mixed reviews on MM’s anti-pullout pins but I’ve seen absolutely nothing about Steelworxx’s penisring. Frankly, I don’t see how the ring would stay on when flaccid but I’m still curious about it.

I am currently locked in a Birdlocked Mini, my first device, and am looking to purchase my next device… one of the above hopefully. Since you are coming from a place of experience I would love your take on the two devices described above.

Both those devices work by trying to bunch up the flaccid penis skin making pull out more difficult, not unlike the KSD-G3 for the CB6K. The KSD is the only thing I have first-hand experience with and it does make things a bit more secure down there (and feel more secure, which may be more important since security absent a piercing is mostly in one’s head), though, of course, a few seconds of fiddling in the shower can defeat all these kinds of devices. The downside to the KSD is that it would often leave abrasions on the shaft of the penis from when it would try to become hard in the CB6K and press against it with some force. I would assume MM’s anti-pull out pins would be even more likely to do something similar. Honestly, I never liked the look of them. They seem like they’d be quite painful (and not in the good way). The Steelworxx penis ring might be somewhat more gentle, but again, I’ve never used one. I considered it back in the day, but by the time I ordered I already had the PA and didn’t need it.

I wonder if one of these guys couldn’t fashion a KSD-like insert out of stainless? I know Dietmar at Steelworxx will try anything, but the cost might be prohibitive.

Here’s another question along similar lines…

I have been reading some (not all) entries of your blog and found them very informative. I myself am into chastity play with my wife. We only started very recently (last year) and my first device was a Looker 02 from Steelworxx with the penis-plug. The plug did extend quite a bit (around 1″) through the A-Ring, so this added a lot of security.

However for various reasons I needed to be circumcised. Now the scars are healing and me and my wife will get pierced. I will get a PA and she will get a vertical hood piercing.

Since the Looker with the penis-plug is not possible with a PA and we were intrigued by the added PA-security, we plan on getting a Steelheart (or Steelheart 2) with an internal PA-fixture (the one you designed).

I hope you don’t mind me asking you a few questions since it seems you actually own and wear just that type of device.

Basically it is about measuring. I am unsure about the length of the device. When measuring for the Looker I took the total flaccid length and subtracted half an inch. This worked quite well and the tip was comfortable at the front nearly all the times. For diameter I chose the flaccid diameter plus the Plug-diameter. However this turned out to be slightly on the loose side. It was no problem and it was comfortable but there was a little space around while flaccid.

Anyway, my questions are, how do you measure the length and diameter when you have a PA? Do you need to add a bit to the length and diameter to accommodate the PA?

How far do you think you can pull the device down while wearing it. Do you fear ppl. with shorter tools than yours would be able to access the PA?

Sorry for babbling at you and I hope it is not too much trouble to share your information. But you seem to be the only source I can find 🙂

When I measured for our second Steelheart I went much shorter on the tube but added a bit to my normal flaccid length since I needed to accommodate the PA ring and the fixing. In truth, I may have added too much. In my opinion, you probably shouldn’t make it shorter than your normal flaccid length. The circumference is trickier since you also want to leave room in there for the fixing which does take some of the space up. I find the penis will sometimes knock around inside the tube I wear, but it’s often. I don’t think I’d want it any tighter. You also need to think about pinching and such. I assume that less circumference would make that more prevalent.

So, short story, keep it just a bit longer than your flaccid length and just a tad bigger around. The other thing you need to think about is the gauge of the ring. My PA accommodates 4 GA jewelry, but if I wear a ring that big while in the device I get too much pinching at the end. If I scale back to 8 GA, things are a lot better.

Regarding how much I can pull out, I can get just to the edge of the penis’s corona, but that’s it (see for yourself). You don’t need to worry about getting tools down there. It’s impossible. Even if you could somehow get the ball out of the ring, you’d never ever get it back in and would eventually get busted. There’s not nearly enough room in there to maneuver. That said, I don’t think getting the ring out is even possible. That would be an advantage of using a thicker ring since the ball would be really hard to remove without tools. Hope that helps.

Question about your Looker 02. How long were you able to wear it at a stretch? Did the urethral tube ever cause you any problems?

Question, comment or general chit-chat? Use the feedback page!

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Stoned

As if three colds weren’t enough. Last week, my daughter came down with some kind of nasty stomach flu which she passed to me 24 hours later. It was bad. I didn’t like it one bit. But, it wasn’t as bad as what came right on it’s heels.

I didn’t go to a doctor, but I’m fairly certain I had a kidney stone. I woke up Friday at about 3:30 AM with a sharp and intense pain in my side just under my ribcage. It got progressively worse until we called a nurse and she said to take some Tylenol and rest comfortably. If you’ve ever had one of these evil little things, you know “resting comfortably” is outside the realm of possibility, though I was able to minimize the pain by laying still and using a hot pad. By daylight, the pain was coming and going and changing positions (moving from my side towards the front of my abdomen). I was able to get up and help get the previously sick girl off to school only to be struck by the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my whole life as soon as she left. I broke out in a cold sweat and felt like I was going to throw up. Absolutely horrid.

Then it went away. Poof. Gone. Only minor and infrequent twinges remain (some of which I was still getting yesterday). The new symptom is occasional and overwhelming urges to pee. Even when I know there’s nothing there, I have the feeling of needing to go. It’s not unlike how the prostrate will sometimes feel when I’ve been denied a long time and I know it’s all plump and ready to go, but way stronger. This, along with the pain, are classic kidney stone symptoms.

The part I haven’t had yet is the actual passing of the stone. I don’t know if it always involves pain during urination, but I’ve had nothing like that. Yet. Time will tell if I get to have the full meal deal. I suppose at some point I should go to a doctor, but from everything I’ve read, they don’t do anything about them most of the time and let them work themselves out naturally. I can do that at home and save the co-pay.

On the non-medical front, Belle and I both felt good enough on Saturday morning for some real sex. I busted out my emergency key at the hight of the barfing because the device was really, really not making me feel any better being on there (and I was about three light years from wanting to do anything with the penis anyway), but life had returned to all corners of my totally free body by Saturday. She not only let me fuck her, she let me come. It wasn’t a great orgasm (as is common after a longish denial) and I came really fast (one minute, tops) and she made me put the device back on as soon as it was over. It wasn’t unit this morning that I didn’t resent the damned thing. That magical cloaking device I was talking about last time was stone cold dead and has only started to flicker into life since I woke up this morning. Starting to get horny again. Apparently, the cloak operates on pure hormones (not antimatter like on Star Trek).

So there you are. Up to speed. Hopefully, the infirmary-like atmosphere around the house is gone for a long time.

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Three colds and a period

It’s been more than two weeks since Belle and I had any kind of sex. First, she had a nasty cold. Then she got her period and, a few days later, I got a cold. Not the same cold since at about the time I started to feel OK again, she got my cold. It’s all conspired against us.

So, this is one of those periods of time when a guy like me starts to question his predicament. I was fortunate in that there were few times in which I actually felt the “otherness” that sometimes attaches to the device. When the facade slips and my brain recognizes it for what it really is: A foreign object locked to my body. It’s the worst when it feels unnatural. That just acerbates my stewing and foul mood. For the most part, though, it’s cloaking device has worked and I’ve accepted it as part of me. Even with how it flips and flops and is constantly pulling in the opposite direction of the rest of me. Even in the morning when the nocturnal plumbing it at its maximum. It hasn’t woken me up more than just a little in days and, to the extent that it does, I simply roll over and go back to sleep feeling comforted by my constricted state.

When things are like this, when there’s no sex and it’s been more than a month since I came and my brain continues to buy into the fantasy that the penis is made of metal, I slip into this weird void space. I start to feel like this other kind of thing. A being that’s simultaneously sexless yet instantaneously aroused. Not a man. Something we don’t have a word for.

There may be some of you out there reading this with your free-range dicks getting all hard and turned on by that kind of talk, but it’s simply the most difficult thing about long term enforced chastity. Not being able to have a proper hard-on, not being able to wrap your hand around it, reaching down to find only an unfeeling mass of hot metal and a sack of fat testes as your only genitalia. Having nothing at all to do with your need for any kind of sexual release (even if its hers). When it’s bad, it’s really bad. It turns you into something you have no experience being.

And I have been feeling that lately. It’s not Belle’s fault and I don’t feel any anger at all toward her for it. It’s just how things are. Last night, though, as we watched TV in bed, things changed somehow. I actually do have experience being this way now. With a little inadvertent help from Belle, I found my way out.

It started with her hand on my ass. Sometimes, we lay in bed and I put my head on her midsection and stretch out in the opposite direction. Last night, in that position, she slipped her hand into my pajama pants and lightly stroked my ass. This kind of simple affectionate touching is like catnip to a guy in my position. It simultaneously excites and soothes my hormone addled mind. Sometimes, when we’re in bed with the Sunday paper, she strokes the hair under my arm. Same thing. I could let her do that for days. I literally can’t get enough of it.

Anyway, hand stroking ass cheek. Two hours later, it was bed time and I was really worked up. Lights out, Belle asleep, and I’m feeling sorry for myself. Not mad. Not annoyed. Just sorry. After several near misses with sleep, I realized that I wasn’t in the void space anymore. The hand on the ass had been enough to stir me and I was coasting on the sleepless wave of chastity, constantly almost asleep only to be made more alert by a momentarily filled tube reacting to a new sexual vision or the turning of my body to a new position and feeling how that made the device press into me in a different way. I was fucking horny.

On the one hand, I really wanted to sleep. I was tired, still recovering, and have an appointment with the trainer this afternoon. I need my rest. On the other, I was excited and even happy to be back in frustrated horndog mode. As annoying as it was, it’s why I do this, after all. It’s the feeling I’ve come to associate with good things. It’s my natural state.

Somehow, I eventually did fall asleep. Sometime between midnight and one o’clock. Then, awake with Belle’s alarm at quarter to six. Not much, but enough. Just happy to be out of the fog.

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chastity.xxx – UPDATED

There’s a new site called chastity.xxx on the web. Typically, I wouldn’t mention this (unless it was a really good site and this one’s not), but chastity.xxx is doing something patently sleazy.

First things first. I’m not linking to chastity.xxx because I don’t want them to see my site in their referrers (which is how I found them). If you want to see the site, you can type its URL into your browser the old fashioned way. Not that I think you should bother. It’s pointless.

Now, why do I think it’s sleazy? It’s not the way it advertises crappy chastity devices nor is it the tasteless click farm to various video porn sites (for which I assume chastity.xxx is an affiliate getting some kind of kick-back). No, it’s the fact that in the site’s main navigation, the blog link goes here and the forum link goes to Chastity Forums implying that I am somehow affiliated with the site or endorse it.

Neither is true.

If the owner of chastity.xxx is reading this, I would like you to immediately remove all links to my sites.

UPDATE: I’ve been told the owner of the site is someone who posts on Chastity Forums and is, by all accounts, a nice guy. That may be true, but I’d still appreciate having links to my sites removed. If I was listed among other sites in a blogroll kind of thing or as a resource, that’d be fine, but by linking to me from the main navigation, a relationship is suggested that simply doesn’t exist.

UPDATE 2: The links have been removed.

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Mailbag

From this week’s mailbag:

My Goddess and I have been keeping up with your blog for a while now.   We have a female lead relationship and have been talking of chastity (orgasm control) for some time and have looked at many device options.  It would seem that there are many views on how to correctly measure for a device and as noted many customer and non-customer makers are different in how they view there sizing.   Would you mind sharing your insight on how to measure for the most optimal sizing for extended use/wear.  🙂 Thank you for any insight you would be able to and or willing to share.

As I’ve said in the past, Mature Metal’s guide to measurement is, in my opinion, the way to go. I’ve had commenters here on the blog take exception with it and specifically how tight to make the A-ring, but at the end of the day, personal preference and your own physical tolerance is a big part of the puzzle. I like it when my device doesn’t feel like it’s always slipping off or that the penis could back right out any time I wanted it to (PA fixing not withstanding), so I go for a more snug fit in the ring. I do pay a price for that at night and when the penis is aroused, though. It’s not intolerable and it’s a sensation I can even become accustomed to and sleep through, but the ring, she does bite. The thing about me is, I like bondage and I like the feeling of extreme constriction and I even like the throbbing of an erection stuck in a tube less than half its size. Smaller tubes are better than big ones.

Regardless, I think MM’s tube length advice is spot-on and the right place to start.

Hey, it is me again, mike. i was having the problem with the penis head hurting but did as you suggested and removed the stealheart for a couple of days then put it back one, Have had it back on for over a week and no problems at all. So, i took the big step and yesterday gave the key to my partner and signed a six month contract. So, i will be locked up for the next six months and know He will not let me out due to He is in the Navy and heads out to sea Tuesday and will not be back till July and He took both keys and put them in His safty deposit box that i dont have access too. Wish me luck, i will need it. i’m the guy that likes to jack off a couple of times each day and it is already driving me nuts and He leaves sin two days and i’m horny as hell !

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say this is totally genuine and your typos aren’t due to one-handed typing.

I’m happy you have a guy who’s willing to lock you up, but I’m not entirely sure this is a good situation for you. It’s really, really hard to be separated from your dick and not getting any attention from one’s partner (and, at the same time, not have one’s partner to pay attention to) during long-term denial. I don’t recall if this new Steelheart is the first device you’ve had or if you are an old hand at chastity, but there’s still the possibility that you’ll have fit issues you’ll need to deal with. I wouldn’t ever want to be locked into a steel device without relatively easy access to an emergency key. Can you get into his safe depot box?

That’s just me sounding like a worried mother. I get how hot the situation is now for you. I hope you still find it so in six weeks.

I love your blog.  Have you posted a copy of the Covenant you signed with Belle?

It was posted on the blog for some time, but she decided it was too much, so we simplified. Now it’s pretty much “whatever Belle says” and we leave it at that. Truth is, I got a lot more out of it than she did.

Finally, I forgot to post this last bit a while back. As usually, Tom was the more responsible of the two of us and did it when he was supposed to while I procrastinated. In any event, it seems as though my pal Dishevelled Domina is asking women who are dominant (or perhaps even those upon who the title has been foisted) to agree to be interviewed.

If you are a woman who likes to decide the how and when of sex, I have some questions for you. You needn’t consider yourself a dominatrix or even claim the title dominant woman. If you enjoy taking the lead in bed or setting the pace sexually, I’d like to know a little more about you. Female sexuality is incredibly diverse and if you are a woman who prefers to be more in control than your partner then you are the kind of gal I want! Please email me at dishevelleddomina@gmail.com

That’s all I got for now. If you have a question or comment or other morsel of communicative goodness you want to pass my way, don’t forget about the feedback page.

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HNThumper XLI: Scale

Whilst out over the weekend, Belle let me take a bath in my unsecured condition. She gave me a look when I asked if I could that told me all I needed to know. Be good. No coming.

Of course not! Wouldn’t think of it (well, I would think of it, but that’s all). In fact, I was going to take the opportunity to put the device back on as she had instructed me. Beforehand, though, I accidentally found myself all engorged and in the wrong condition for locking. I took the opportunity to record something I don’t recall ever showing you before: A comparison of the Steelheart Short’s tube and the full erection that attempts to form within it.

Continue reading “HNThumper XLI: Scale”