Mailbag, “The end is nigh” edition

Still going!

Louis lamented…

We recently received our Looker 01 and have had no luck getting the urethral tube in. We’ve done soundings before and are surprised at this as we didn’t except the size to be a problem but apparently it is. Do you have any suggestions on insertion or sounding stretching or? 

Gosh, no. Did you order the default size? While I’ve played around with it, I’m not a sounding expert by any means. You could try lubricating the insert beforehand, but I’d only want to do that with fresh, presumably uncontaminated lube. I suppose it’s also possible the size of the cage is small enough to be squishing the urethra so as to make insertion an issue. That’s all I got. 

Mike mentioned…

Just found your blog, it’s fantastic. I’m just getting into chastity, and pleasingly my wife is happy to participate. I’ve tried a steel cage with a 2 inch hinged ring, found this very tight with pain, as if I had a UTI, which I’don’t think I did. I then tried a CB6000 with their optional large rings, 2 1/4 inch, but still found it tight at very bottom of the ring, but at times could pop a ball through accidentally if they rode up, so clearly haven’t got the size right yet! I have very large balls (smallish penis) so I think I need these large ring sizes. You said that you started with 2 inches and went down to 1.5 over time, how does that work/happen? How much time? With the oval cages, I think the wide part is on the sides? For me I think I would want the wide part to sit vertically to deal with the pressure I’m feeling at the bottom pushing on my urethra. I was wondering about getting a custom cage without the full circle, with a small gap in the cage at the base of the cage to deal with that. Mature Metals Jailbird is the custom one I’m looking at. I would be very interested in your thoughts. Thank you.

To me, it sounds like your problem is the CB-6000 ring design which it awful and torturous and should be banned by international agreement. If you were wearing a ring like that found on the Holy Trainer, you’d likely be able to tolerate a smaller size. 

Regarding going down in size, I did go smaller after a while. I can’t say for certain why that was but I suspect it was various bits adjusting in their placement internally or just getting used to being squeezed and/or a result of my scrotum getting stretched. Regardless, oval rings are more comfortable because the most sensitive stuff down there are the tubes on the side running down to your testicles and the surrounding parts. As I said, if you’re feeling it mostly underneath, I’d say it’s because the CB6K ring is terrible and sharp.

If you get an MM device, I’d suggest you get the double-width ring option. It makes the device more comfortable overall.

George gorged…

Just want to say thank you for the website and sharing your experiences. I have been in an HT2 for one week, my wife has been a willing participant and am excited to see where this journey leads. So just want to say I appreciate your posts and info your website has. It has been helpful to me.

Excellent! Another satisfied customer. Best of luck to your and your wife.

Kinkngso croaked…

Just ordered a chastity devise with a uretha tube. What should I know about wearing it, maintaining it, etc.

Read this and then this and then this and then this and then all of this. That ought to do it. 

Lea labored…

I am very interested in your lifestyle and your blog. I would like to read it from the very beginning but can’t find the way for that. I know there’s link to the very first record in about section but how to continue to next ones? Can you help me please and advise of the way how can I go from oldest to newest? 

Man, these are easy ones. Here you go.

Ben buoyed…

I currently wear a holy trainer and is going well so far. 

do you have any opinion about strap ons for this chastity device? what works well with, etc… 

thanks for all your help

Here’s a relevant post. With regards to harnesses, try and find one that has two straps underneath that can go on each side of your locked penis. You’re more likely to find those on sites that cater to gay men

An unidentified woman asked…

Greetings Thumper, I know you don’t write an advice column, but maybe you can help me understand the realities in my current situation. I am a 54 year old woman’s with “hard wired vanilla sensibilities.” I discovered your blog as I was learning about male chastity. I love your writing, your story, your blog, and your posts. If I could have dinner with you, Belle, Drew, Axel, Ferns, GeekDomme, and a few others whose names I can’t remember, how fun would that be? Anyway, my partner and I have been living together two years. Dave is 10 years older and is retired. He came out to me as kinky shortly after we started sleeping together. I have never had any kinks or fetishes and I was very unfamiliar with anything to do with what he was telling me about, so I sought as much information as I could, in order to be “GGG” and see where I fit in and what I might like. I have always considered myself a sex-positive woman, and have found that sex over 50 has been the best of my life. Fewer worries, more freedom. I know myself better, and what I like, and have the confidence to ask for it. My partner Dave is a master cunnilinguist. I have never been able to orgasm from PIV, so this is ideal for me, although I do enjoy a lot about cock. First, he told me he enjoyed erotic pain, so I started by experimenting with electro-sex with him, which included bondage and a little cock and ball torture, and I thought it was mutually satisfying. It was fun to see him squirm and his cock definitely liked it, which was what I enjoyed the most. I will admit that as these scenes continued and escalated as I tried to find more things to turn him on, they seemed to amount to a lot of work on my part, and at some point I think Dave assumed that I was play-acting for his sake, and that took him completely out of the head space and it was no longer enjoyable for him. I am not a domme, it just doesn’t interest me, so yes, I was doing it for him. Words or acts of humiliation are anathema to me, and I could never ever humiliate, or cuckhold or sissify him, even though I know he enjoys exactly that. When Dave brought up chastity, and I read books and blogs, including yours, and it seemed like a way to meet both our needs. I wanted Dave to get horny- hopefully for me after enough time. I wanted him to be able to get an erection- again hopefully with me (usually it takes Viagra for him to get it up with me, although he masturbates with no problem at all, so I thought chastity might help with that.) I have been feeling that he has been spending too much time with his fetishes and fantasies on the Internet and in his head, and I want him to focus on reality. Right now, he is obsessed with cock- he wants to get fucked, he wants to suck cock- and I am okay with that. I want him to be able to go outside our relationship to get what I can’t give him. I want him to have his Drew, or his Frodo, and then come home and fuck me when I want it. I don’t want him to spend time watching sissy training videos and masturbating. I feel like this is taking him in the wrong direction, so that’s why I put him in chastity. So now I am a little confused- he said he never should have told me about his latest fetishes because now I am trying to change him and get him to give that up. I told him that I don’t care what gets him off in his head when he’s masturbating or coming, but that I don’t want him wasting time on sissy training videos with fantasy porn stars. If he wants cock in his head, he should go out and get some IRL. So which is it, is putting him in chastity trying to change him, or am I trying to control his orgasms? I am sorry I am not as kinky as he is, because I want him to be happy. I have never been able to get him off- not with my mouth, my hands, my pussy. But I am not trying to make him less kinky, am I? He was single for almost 20 years before me and jerking off was his life when he wasn’t working. I am sure he has settled into patterns that he enjoys, so I know he is reacting to not being able to enjoy that any more. He tells me he can’t imagine living without me, and that he loves me, but perhaps we just aren’t sexually compatible? Because of his skill at servicing me orally I could be happy with just that forever. I have dildos and toys that he or I can use in lieu of an erection, but I still think some of his porn viewing and jerking off is an issue- hence the chastity. So just wanted to know if I am off base thinking chastity is appropriate in this situation? If you have suggestions where he should start IRL for his cock fix, let us know. Thanks for listening!

Dave needs to figure out if he wants to be with a caring woman invested in his happiness (which means he may not get the entire salad bar of his kinks satisfied) or if he’d rather be in a relationship with his hand and the computer for the rest of his active life. I can’t say if you’re compatible sexually, but it sounds like you’ve been more than GGG in trying to find a place where you’re both able to be happy. To me, Dave sounds like he can’t get over the fact that the real world isn’t his fantasy world. I get that. It’s a trap a lot of men fall into who have been jacking off to their kinks without acting them out with a real person. 

I will say chastity cannot change anyone who does not want to be changed. If it was your idea and isn’t a thing he kinks over, then it’s got no place in your relationship. However, you should not be expected to be everything he’s ever wanted in a sex partner. That’s not a kink thing, that’s a life thing. None of us is everything our partner will ever want or need. That said, you’re well within your rights to ask he stop spilling his seed looking at porn by himself and focus on you. In fact, that’s his responsibility, as far as I’m concerned. I have zero tolerance for that stuff. 

I hope you can find a way for you both to be satisfied. 

And that’s it! The end of the feedback mailbag. Whew. Got a question or a comment or whatever? Send it to me. I’ll get to it. Eventually…

2 thoughts on “Mailbag, “The end is nigh” edition

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