Libéré en étant enfermé
I seem to be in a bit of a rut already on these Sinful Sunday posts. All very similar. So many views of our bed and window. Ah, well. It’s not like anyone can ask for their money back. This one might be my favorite.
Continue reading “Sinful Sunday 3: Third in an apparent series”
I’m terrible at answering my mail.
Fetlifer perfectlyrare wrote…
You have a great and really inspiring blog. Thanks for being so open and being a good ambassador for chastity stuff. I really like how you include asides about having a healthy family life and quietly pursuing your interest in bisexuality. The main reason I messaged you was a chastity question, but I’m also curious when you revealed being bi to your wife and what the discussions were like that led you to exploring dating a man? My girlfriend is mostly vanilla but I showed her some tease and denial type videos (Christina QCCP) and she has rapidly got into limiting my orgasms and being manipulative with intimate touching. We are starting to talk about chastity. She enjoys the idea but worries that it would be too painful or uncomfortable to such delicate sensitive body parts that she treasures. As such, we are quite focused on the holy trainer. The only thing stopping us from jumping on it is that we wanted something compatible with plastic locks because we don’t live together, we are already focused on mental/obedience chastity, and i like the idea of being able to get out in an emergency, even if i cant think of what emergency might require it! Plastic locks would let me get out easily without the luxury of being able to lie about it which might be more tempting with a metal padlock that prompted me to try to slipping out. I really wish holy trainer would introduce a new version that brought back the ability to use plastic locks :/ and you probably wouldnt know but i bet the holy trainer might be weakened and degraded by urine? i am pretty into diapers so maybe it’s a bad bet in the first place in that regard. should i just get a cb 6k?
I’ll do these in reverse.
I don’t think the Holy Trainer would be damaged by urine. Don’t worry about that.
No, don’t get the CB6K. The Holy Trainer is better in every single regard, except perhaps the fact you can’t secure it with a numbered lock. You can still buy the original HT as separate parts from the Holy Trainer site and Kept For Her, so that’s an option. Another option is to do what Belle and I do which is fashion a keyholder like this one from Steelworxx and use the numbered lock to secure the key, not the device. My experience with the plastic locks is being in your pants leads them to break on their own relatively quickly, so they’re not a perfect option on their own.
Regarding your girlfriend’s worries about the fragility of your penis, that’s sweet, but they’re tougher than many men let on. It’s all relative to your ability to deal with discomfort, of course, but I’m locked up all the time with no apparent negative ramifications.
Regarding the coming out as bi to Belle, that was on the table from early days. Even before we were dating. It’s always been out there.
Fetlifer Born2Lead wrote…
Hello! Just wanted to swing by and drop you a line to let you know how much I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. I plan to pass along the link to my little pet. I think he would benefit from reading that there are other men, like himself, out there (romantically involved with women, yet still sexually bisexual, submissive and kinky).
He worries terribly that someone might find out his secrets. We’ve discussed the potential role of chastity within our relationship. His biggest concern at this point is that the profile of his birdlocked device is ridiculously massive and very noticeable. I saw that you’ve written a number of reviews on different devices and thought I might ask if you have a suggestion for a chastity novice that has a smaller profile and is more easily hidden beneath clothing?
The short version of the Holy Trainer 2 is the best from a size and outward visibility standpoint that I’ve worn. Silicone devices are also easier to conceal if only because their squishy nature makes them look more natural, but I hate them as a general rule.
And no, he is definitely not the only submissive bisexual heteroromantic kinky fucker out there!
Reader tom emailed…
are stainless steel rings available for cb6000 ? the thickness of the rings is the one thing i find uncomfortable. if someone made them in stainless they could be thinner allowing for more comfort…..at least i think so.
There’s a metal version of the CB-6000 out there (not an authorized CB-X product, but very similar in how it works) but I have no experience with it (and can’t remember what it’s called). The rings on the CB-6000 are the single biggest drawback of the product, in my opinion.
Reader Kuba wrote in with a long one…
I’m a 34yo straight (sorry 😉 ) male. I’m pretty new to your blog, but I’ve already read quite a lot of your advice on chastity devices, and since you’re quite experienced and open to helping people, I was hoping that perhaps you might give me some advice as well.
Don’t worry, I won’t discriminate against you because you’re straight.
I’m quite interested in chastity myself, mostly as a form of bondage (self-bondage in this case, as for now I’m alone), rather than a D/s dynamic – I see bondage more akin to an artform rather than means of submission.
Anyway, the experience I’ve had so far wasn’t very good. I’m an owner of a CB-3000 device (not many mentions of it on your blog), and it’s not working out very well. I find it very uncomfortable, there’s a lot of pinching, etc. Reading your blog I realised that one of my mistakes was getting a normal-sized cage, when I probably should have taken a small one – extra space inside was a constant issue. Still, even without that I have a rather tight sack, which doesn’t help either. I know it can stretch with time, but CB-3000 was such a bad experience, I ended up not wanting to train for that at all. And when growing the extra air holes tended to cause nasty swells.
The CB3K was the big device just before I got into chastity. By that time, the CB6K was out. Back then, the CB3K was reported to be more comfortable because its rings were rounded rather than square like the CB6K. However, at some point, CB-X decided to “upgrade” the CB3K with CB6K-stype square rings. If your scrotum is tight (and they all start out that way, to a certain extent), the square rings are absolute torture.
And yes, all that extra tube space can also cause discomfort.
Anyway, I don’t intend to let that discourage me and would love to continue my adventure with (self-)chastity. I’ve found your blog while looking for reviews on Birdlocked and I’m glad I did, as (along with some other things I found all over the internet) it convinced me It’s probably not the best choice. I’m currently leaning towards Holy Trainer, as it fits a lot of my requirements (stealth being one of them – which is not a surprise, as it’s rather common), however during the course of my readthrough I’ve started to take a liking to the Looker 02. I’ve always found the idea of a device with a urethral plug awesome. Seems more… “complete” that way. The problem is I’ve never had any experience with urethral sounding before.
Essentially what I want to ask is what you think might be the best course of action? Does it seem like a good idea to go straight for Looker 02 or would it be better to stay with taking small steps an go for Holy Trainer first? If you think the Looker is the way to go, should I get some sounds first and train a bit before wearing it, or is it possible to start wearing it immediately and gradually get used to it? (obviously immediate 24/7 would not be a good idea)
I assume the best option would probably be HT first, then moving on to Looker, but that means buying two devices instead of one, and that’s something that’s rather painful at the moment – that’s one of the reasons I’m asking if going for the Looker right now is a viable option, or something a bit too extreme at this stage, with my limited experience.
Your choice is to spend more money over a longer period on two devices rather than a lower amount up front on one. Upside is you save some money, downside is maybe chastity just isn’t for you and the CB3K wasn’t totally to blame and/or you hate the feeling of the urethral insert. I love the Looker 02 and find it to be very comfortable, but I also enjoy the sensation of a penetrated urethra and knew that before we bought the device.
If I were in your spot, I’d get the HT first and play with sounding before plopping down the cash for the Looker 02. Generally speaking, I advise newbies to go with the Trainer or another plastic device before investing in custom steel anyway for a number of reasons.
To complicate matters even further I’m an avid cyclist, not as a sport, but as my main means of transportation around the city. I’ve seen you mention biking while locked is not the most pleasant idea and it’s best to remove the device… however with me riding the bike every day it wouldn’t be too convenient, so cycling comfort is yet another important point here, and you mentioned the Looker is pretty good in that regard. How does Holy Trainer fare here?
To be honest I did try to ride a bike while wearing the CB-3000 (although much less than I do now), and didn’t notice too much extra distress… but it might be I simply didn’t notice due to the whole thing being so damn uncomfortable.
I have yet to bike in the Trainer. If you’re doing it around town in regular street clothing with at least the short HT, you’ll probably be OK. When I bike it’s for fitness and I wear tight biking gear which makes the devices significantly less comfortable.
Oh, and a completely disconnected question: What is your outlook on full, Florentine-style belts? I’ve noticed you only ever mention (and worn) ball-trapping devices. Do you know how do those compare? Especially when it comes to the regular issues such as comfort, security or stealth? (because most certainly they lose when it comes to price 😀 )
When I first got into chastity, I lusted over one of those, but now I can’t imagine wearing one. Not with my current lifestyle. The entire field seems to have been taken over by smaller trapped-ball devices now. Never having worn one, that’s about all I can say about them.
Good luck to everyone who wrote in!
Big news today! No, not the Supreme Court argument over marriage equity. No, not the Baltimore riots. NO, not the tragedy in Tibet.
THERE’S GOING TO BE A GOLD CB-6000!
Dateline: Las Vegas.
Male chastity device manufacturer CB-X Male Chastity is putting the finishing touches on its new luxury chastity device, the CB-6000 Gold.
Man, gold is the new black, isn’t it? What can’t you get in gold these days? Apparently, they’re taking preorders to see how many of these shiny, shiny things to make. It doesn’t appear to be on their site as of this writing, but maybe soon.
This is where I kinda lost it, though…
The CB-6000 Gold combines the trending color combination of gold and black, reflecting CB-X’s philosophy as a luxury brand.
Luxury brand? OK, look. I get that the CB-X line is, apparently, the most popular male chastity device line on the planet. But it’s not fucking luxurious unless lots of fiddly plastic bits and ripped up scrotum skin count as the lifestyle of the rich and famous. The CB-6000 is a painful, uncomfortable dinosaur and CB-X badly needs to come out with a product that reflects improvements in male chastity design (such as ergonomic A-rings, simpler locking mechanisms, no-seam tubes, and the radical innovation of rounded surfaces). What’s their answer to the Holy Trainer? Shiny paint. Please.
They’ve milked (see what I did there) just about every ounce of value out of the CB-6000. Time to move on. I’m sure they’ll sell a million of the damned things (probably literally), but in my opinion, painting the CB-6000 up in gold is like putting lipstick on a pig. It makes the pig look marginally better, but it’s still a pig. Oink, oink.
Due to the typical NSFW images that go along with them, this product review is behind a jump… Continue reading “Oxballs Cock Lock Review”
About what you’d expect from a NSFW image perspective, so we’ll put this one behind a jump…
The other day, I wrote a post that said enforced chastity devices don’t make penises smaller. I stand by that based on my now years of experience along with never having seen any evidence to the contrary (other than a bunch of words). I did say…
Now, what I have noticed when first coming out after an extended lock-up is the penis will be a little fatter towards the bottom than the top when erect, but that goes away after a day or so. I can only assume the erectile tissue needs to “stretch back out” once its been released. But the effect has never been long-lasting. Certainly not permanent.
Due to my recent illness, Belle let me stay out and I noticed this phenomenon yet again. The penis, when hard, was slightly narrower on the “top half” than at the base for a few days before it got back to normal. I was out for about five or six days total after having been locked up more or less for a month straight.
I received some feedback from a reader called Jay that I assume was in reply to my post on how being locked up doesn’t change penis size:
Regarding growers in Chastity advice. If a man has a 7 inch long erect length and is in a 2 inch tube only the 2 inches is prevented from erecting. He will erect behind the ring. This becomes programmatic because it heightens the risk of penile fracture. true there is no os penis in humans But the membranes that encapsulate the erectile tissues can be ruptured. This is an actual ER visit injury, untreated it leads to permanent erectile dysfunction.
Second issue is girth difference when the shaft is soft it can be forced into a tube that is to small eg 6k but later when engorged Full urethral tamponade occurs. Unable to piss at all. 1″ diameter soft 1 5/8″ diameter hard. This person will need a tube with a 1 3/8″ ID
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard about penile fracture occurring from chastity. Is it possible? I suppose. Has it happened? Not saying it hasn’t. Just saying I’ve never heard about it. I assume what when Jay said, “true there is no os penis in humans,” he meant penile bone and, no, there is no penile bone in humans. So…yeah. Not an issue, thankfully. If we had penile bones, we probably couldn’t wear chastity devices like those we wear.
Anyway, yeah, if you think your penis has fractured, see a medical professional. Consider a finger waved in your general direction.
Regarding “urethral tamponade” (which sounds not unlike an ice cream flavor to me), yep, been there. Sometimes, the device is so tight I can’t even pee, but it’s more often the case that peeing is possible and, as I pee, becomes easier since the erection subsides. The compression of the urethra only lasts as long as the erection does.
All that said, being out and actually jacking the shaft made the one (apparently) permanent change the Steelheart has had on the penis more evident. Evi-dent, I said. Get it?
A little more than half way down the shaft, when it’s hard, is an obvious dent. It’s just about exactly where the edge of the tube A-ring hits it when it’s hard (the remainder of the erection being either stuck up inside me or sticking out the back of the device). It can be felt, but not seen, across the top of the shaft, but not underneath. I suppose the only way to know if it’s permanent would be to stay unlocked for an extended period and see if it went away.
Yeah, right.
I told Belle about the dent. She was unmoved. “It’s just a physical manifestation of your commitment and submission to me, isn’t it?”
Yes. Yes, it is.
A bit over a year ago, I was asked by a reader what the best male chastity device on the market was. I penned (keyed?) a missive on my thoughts and threw it out upon the waves of the World Wide Web to float among the other jetsam and debris like any other post and moved on.
But then a funny thing happened. People, it turns out, Google “best male chastity device” quite a bit and, through a happy coincidence of longevity and narrow subject matter, this site does pretty well in those kind of searches. That post I chucked out there one afternoon without a great deal of fanfare all of sudden started being among the top visited here every day.
Turns out, I no longer agree with my conclusions from 15 months ago. So I will, with this post, reassess the field in a slightly more thoughtful way than before.
When people ask me about chastity, they’re usually coming from a pretty particular point of view. They are not the kind of people looking to wear a device or have their man wear one for a simple evening’s romp. They’re usually thinking about it in the same way Belle utilizes it with me in our marriage. That is, a semi-permanent thing leading to long-term orgasm denial (“long-term” having no set definition, just longer than a day or a week). They’re also usually (the guys, anyway, though occasionally their partners, too) really hot and bothered over being locked in the mythical impossible-to-defeat device that they can’t ever take off no matter how hard they want to OH GOD how horny CAN. I. GET!?
I’m sorry. That device does not exist.
Not as an off-the-shelf thing, anyway. You hear about these inescapable devices in the hawt chastity porn, but you might notice their description is always a little vague. That’s because the flaccid male penis has all the structure and significance of an octopus arm. It really can’t be easily contained. A guy, especially a wet and soapy one, can get it into and out of all kinds of crazy little nooks and crannies as long as his fleshy friend stays soft. So no, there is no trapped-ball device (that is, one that is worn around the penis and scrotum) that cannot be defeated with little more than cursory effort.
Yes, I know, a trapped-ball device can be made inescapable, but only if you’re willing to get a genital piercing like a Prince Albert. For a lot of guys, that’s way over the line. Short of that, no, there is no inescapable trapped-ball device, I don’t care what that one guy on Chastity Mansion wrote.
This is why I say the very best chastity device is the one between your ears. I know (trust me), the idea of being forced against your will to remain locked and horny is a significantly powerful fantasy, but it is just that. A fantasy. You, as the man being locked up, have to be invested in staying locked up. That means, you need to have the will power not to cheat and slip out the back for a quick wank when nobody’s looking. If you can’t do that, then don’t even bother with anything else. Don’t even bother your partner with the idea. Chances are very good you want to be locked up. So let yourself be and don’t fuck it up.
Personally, when I’m in an easily-escaped device, I tell myself it’s not. I suspend my disbelief and act as though there’s no way out for me and I’m stuck with my fate. I also think very hard about the commitment I made when I allowed Belle to lock me up in the first place. I do it for her as much as myself. I do it for us.
I view the device as what it is: Not an impenetrable fortress, but a symbol of respect for an agreed-upon dynamic I asked for in the first place.
So, before we get to the aspects that should be considered when choosing a device, the very best way to enforce male chastity is to get your brain on straight. The best device is the one in your head.
I’ve worn twelve (12?!) different chastity devices over the years: CB-6000 (both clear and “chrome” edition, standard tube length), CB-5000, Holy Trainer v1 and v2, Birdlocked Neo/Mr. S Boytrainer 2.0, Steelworxx Steelheart (one larger, one smaller), Steelworxx Looker 02, Mature Metal’s Jail Bird (two different devices), and the KHD X3 espresso 3D-printed device. I can tell you right off that I wouldn’t recommend the CB-5000 or any device made of silicone. The CB5K is an odd duck because it requires a PA piercing and all silicone devices pretty much suck as chastity devices. No, they just do. Trust me.
That said, there are five attributes I judge when considering devices: Cost, comfort, perceived security, hygiene, and stealth.
You can spend anywhere from about a hundred bucks for a 3D-printed device to thousands and thousands for one custom-made of stainless steel. If you’re just starting out, my advice is to stick with plastic. The most popular device is certainly the CB-6000 which will run you about $150. The other leading plastic device is the Holy Trainer. It costs a bit more (about $170). Custom stainless from manufactures such as Mature Metal in Texas or Steelworxx in Germany will average about twice plastic once you factor in options (though they can be had for less with fewer bells and whistles [no, not literally bells and whistles]). The KHD X3 espresso can be had out the door for under $100, but it’s not without issues.
Protip: If you go with the Holy Trainer, don’t buy it from their site. Some people end up getting charged exorbitant duty fees (though, for some reason, not all). I got mine from Kept For Her. Paid a little less with shipping and had no nasty surprises from the government.
Personally, I wouldn’t cheap out on something that will spend hours and days locked onto what is likely the part of your body you have the closest and most emotional connection to. Buy name brands from reputable retailers and check Google for reviews. Cheap devices fail (usually by splitting along seams) which can lead to injury or they aren’t finished very well and have spots that rub or cause discomfort.
Thinking about a newbie, it’s hard not to give the edge in this category to the CB-6000. Its price is reasonable and you get a lot of sizing options in the box. The only thing you need to decide when ordering is how long you want the tube (and you probably want the short one, sorry). Even though the KHD X3 is the cheapest I’ve worn, the device has too many other shortcoming to recommend at this time.
Regarding steel, keep in mind that the Steelworxx site displays all its prices in Euros including VAT (value-added tax). If you’re outside the European Union, you don’t pay the VAT. Register an account with your shipping address to see the real prices. I think Mature Metal and Steelworxx are about a wash, price-wise, for those in the United States, but I find their designs to be different enough that it doesn’t matter. Most seem to gravitate towards one look over the other anyway.
Enforced chastity is, by its definition, not always a walk in the park. Penises grow while devices don’t. However, it’s also not supposed to be a test of pain tolerance. In a well-fitted device, one’s discomfort should be limited to feeling the pressure of an erection being arrested and contained. Depending on how you’re wired, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Far from it.
The degree of comfort desired is also something of a personal choice. Some men and/or those who lock them up are trying to inflict erotic pain as part of the chastity experience. Some devices have add-ons or options specifically designed to make a penis trying to be erect very uncomfortable. I don’t think these kinds of tactics are good for the kind of long-term thing Belle and I practice, but it’s entirely possible excessive comfort isn’t on one’s shopping list.
Plastic device design has advanced quite a bit in recent years. In this category, the CB-6000 scores very low in my book. Its rings are perfectly round and have sharp edges and gaps and seams that bite into the base of erections and cause sores. Wearing a CB6K can be a miserable experience. The Holy Trainer, by comparison, is significantly better thanks to it’s ergonomically-shaped A-ring (the part that goes around the penis and scrotum). The KHD X3 is also quite comfortable.
On the steel side, Steelworxx offers an “anatomical ring” which is slightly bent to allow some testicular pluming from getting crimped. I find the Mature Metal A-rings to be too narrow, though they will build them double-width if you ask (and I think you should). MM also has an oval option which, like Steelworxx’s anatomical ring, is meant to allow the testes extra room. I also recommend that.
Plastic or metal, sizing is critical. Read my chastity sizing guide for tips. Short story is, the tube should be the size of your normal flaccid penis. You might think a longer tube would be better for when you get hard. You would be wrong. Smaller tubes are better.
Comfort is the thing most people are thinking about when they decide to go with a silicone device. I found these devices to be difficult to size and keep on. Also, an erection in a stretchy, squishy tube is an erection that can be all too easily coaxed into orgasm. I don’t recommend silicone. The Holy Trainer is just as comfy and feels like a real enforcement of chastity.
I know, I said there wasn’t any such thing as security in a chastity device. It’s true, unless you want to punch a hole in your dick (which, all by itself, is pretty fucking hot, but totally a personal taste thing). However, some devices feel more secure which can be very helpful in the little game I think we should play with ourselves regarding the total inaccessibility of the penismeat.
To a large extent, the feeling of security is a product of fit. A loose, ill-fitting device won’t feel secure at all while a nice tight one will but may cause you too much pain to wear during the fun parts.
Some devices feel more secure as a result of their design. The Holy Trainer, for example, with its sleeker and simpler construction creates a greater illusion of security than the CB-6000. The KHD X3 never really felt that secure to me while I was wearing it for some reason. This may be something that varies from person to person.
Devices like the Looker 02 from Steelworxx feel a tiny bit more secure thanks to their integrated urethral inserts. They have hollow tubes that go inside the penis and extend a bit past the back of the device. This may sound like the worst possible torture you can imagine, but I’ve actually found Belle’s Looker 02 to be the most comfortable metal device she locks on me. The hollow tube in the penis is far from uncomfortable. In fact, it can be very stimulating.
In general, metal stays cleaner than plastic and open designs like the Jail Bird stay fresher longer than closed tubes like on the Steelheart. This is another thing where fit is important. If the tube is well fitted with an absence of space inside while the penis is flaccid, more urine will flow out and less will be trapped. If the design features a cage, this is not an issue at all (though errant urine streams and splashing can be a problem).
If pee squicks you out, chastity may not be for you. It’s part of the bargain. That love rocket you’re having locked to the launch pad is also the main way you eliminate waste from your body. There’s just no getting around that chastity devices need to be attended to or they’ll start to stink.
Stealth has two components: Visible and audible.
In my testing, I found on the plastic side that the Holy Trainer was the least visible through clothing. For metal, both the Jail Bird and Looker 02 were pretty sneaky. Note that I was wearing the short Trainer tube and the two metal devices are both about the same size. The solid tube of the Steelheart makes a rather more noticeable lump. The KHD X3 was also very good in this department, I think mostly because it lays very flat with little forward protruding.
If you live in a situation with children as I do, audible stealth is also critical for those time when you’re padding around house in your pajamas or sweats. The CB-6000 has a separate lock that clicks against the tube as you walk while the Holy Trainer’s lock is integrated and silent. Both Mature Metal and Steelworxx offer integrated lock options (for MM, it’s a security screw rather than a lock and key). The KHD X3 also has an integrated lock (the same kind as is used on the Trainer and Steelworxx devices).
Another advantage of the integrated locks is they leave a lower profile to show through your clothing.
My old advice for newbies was to go with the CB-6000. However, the second generation Holy Trainer is a better device in nearly every way. It’s simpler to use (only three pieces rather than seven) and so much more comfortable. However, it is more expensive and you need to be more certain of your ring size then ordering. Another issue that seems to follow the Holy Trainer around is breakage. The plastic they use is affected by body heat in a way that makes it a bit pliable (though not much). Some people report the tube cracking and breaking, but I’ve not had that problem (and, with my last unit, really tried to “accidentally” break it). Personally, I have no problem recommending the Trainer with that caveat. I think its design is that much better than the now long-in-the-tooth CB-6000.
On the metal side, it’s really about aesthetic preferences and how important each of the above variables are to you. I prefer Steelworxx designs, but Mature Metal makes a very good product and their customer service is fantastic. Also, their domestic location makes communication and alterations much easier for US-based buyers. I don’t recommend anyone’s first device to be custom steel. It can be tricky getting the fit right and, until you know chastity is something you really want in your relationship, it’s a more than insignificant investment.
Which do you think is the best? Leave a comment below.
Quick one today. Reader Alex opines…
Hey Thumper, love your blog! My girl friend and I have recently started to experiment with chastity. She loves the idea of being able to send me on business trips locked! But we have a couple concerns. The main one is sleeping in the device (Holy Trainer 2). She has read some horror stories about things happening at night, rolling and breaking it, cut off circulation, pain, ect. Do you have any advice or know about any of these risks? She is very nervous about it.
Also, have you tried to fly or go through security in the holy trainer 2?
I don’t think the Holy Trainer (1 or 2) would just break from rolling over in bed. At least, not the ones I’ve worn. Breakage of that device still baffles me. I never found it to be all that fragile, especially at body temps.
Will it cut off circulation? Perhaps, if it’s not fitted properly. It will be tight, but your balls shouldn’t turn purple or get cold. If so, the A-ring is too small. They might flush a darker red. That’s not unusual.
Pain. Well, it’s a little plastic tube and your erection is probably a lot bigger than it is. That said, it’s not pain so much as compression. I find the Holy Trainer (1 and 2) to be quite comfortable even while the penis is doing its usual morning thing. If you feel actual pain, again, it’s probably not fitted too well. I’ve gone on at some length about fitting a chastity device.
I don’t think she should be nervous. As long as you’re paying attention to the signals you’re getting from your body and nothing it turning cold and blue, it’s all good. No permanent damage is likely.
Regarding security, the HT will go through a metal detector just fine. The large walk-in scanners, though, should be able to detect it. I’ve had readers tell me they’ve done so without incident while I’ve read others who have said they got patted down. Probably you’d be OK, but there’s no guarantee and each trip through is a roll of the dice as I think it’s highly dependant on the operator of the scanner and their discretion.
When I travel with the Steelheart, Belle lets me go to the airport unlocked. I keep the SH in my carry-on and, once through security, I lock it on in the bathroom and send her a picture as proof. You could do something similar with the HT, but then you need to figure out a way to secure the key in a tamper-proof manner. Something like the Steelworxx key safe is nifty, though expensive. There are other homemade solutions out there if you’re handy enough.
Bonŝancon!
Me on Twitter this AM:
Fuck. Forget I'm getting a massage this afternoon and I'm still locked up.
— thumper (@thumperMN) February 4, 2015
The place I get my hair cut is right across the street from where I work. Super convenient and the nice gay man who cuts me is obsessive compulsive about it and makes me feel like I get my money’s worth (and it’s more than most people would pay for a simple haircut, I’m sure). They’ve been building a massage room there for about the last ten years (or so it seems) and the masseuse they have is really good (if a 15 minute chair massage is any indication). I’ve been very excited about the prospect of having a massage option so close and convenient and have been bugging them every time I’m there about when they were going to start accepting table massage clients. Today is that day. So I booked a 90 minute rub down.
Problem is, the above tweet (and its fucking typo1). I’m still locked up. Of course, I am not embarrassed by this. No, really. If the dude giving me the massage was in on my private life and cool, I’d be perfectly happy staying inside the thing as Belle wants and/or answering any questions my state would raise for him, but I really don’t know him. Plus, of course, reputable massage therapists are always having to fend off jokes and innuendo about their profession, so the good ones treat anything sexual like kryptonite. Plus plus, it is entirely uncool to bring someone into your kink without consent.
This is something I struggle with when seeing the trainer. I know for a fact he’s seen the odd bulge in my shorts and I do little to hide it (though I do do a little). There’s a fuzzy line between not dragging someone into your kinky sex life against their will and needing to live your life as you’ve chosen. In the case of the trainer, I feel like I’m on the right side of it. In the case of a (presumed) muggle masseuse, wearing a device that would be obvious through the sheet and/or clank a little when I roll over definitely is not. I get the concept of being forced into a potentially embarrassing situation like that might be uber hot in a chastity femdom porn story, but seriously. Not in real life.
Since I forgot all about it, I don’t have Belle’s key which means I need to break into the one I have in case of emergency. Kinda bummed about that for no other reason than I’ve been able to maintain seal 1871290 since mid-March of last year. Now it has to die and be replaced with another silent key keeper.
It’s possible, I suppose, he’ll put a thick towel over me or a heavy sheet. And it’s possible that towel or sheet would be enough to hide the odd bulk of the Steelheart. But I recall one massage I got (at the Grand Californian at Disneyland of all places) where the sheet was ridiculously thin. Thin enough to figure out if the penis was circumcised. For real. Had I been locked, all would have been known instantaneously. It just seems really super creepy to me to not do something about the device if I can. Of course, I can. So I will.
While writing this, I’m still locked up. I’ll stay that way until I undress when I’ll pop the key and take the Steelheart off. Then, when redressing, I’ll put it back on. I’ll only be unlocked during the actual massage. Assuming, of course, that the key in the key safe is the right key. Damn. Just thought of that. Fuck.
Well…it is what it is. I’m pretty sure it’s the right one. We’ll know at about 3:10 this afternoon. Here’s hoping for that super thick towel or heavy sheet just in case…
UPDATE: The idea that I had the wrong key freaked me out enough to break into it and give it a test. Yes, it’s the right one. And yes, I’m still locked up.
1 Seriously, Twitter!? We STILL can’t edit fucking tweets? Facebook figured this out years ago now.
Belle read my previous post about the penis problems from the other day and, while liking it in general, thought I was being defensive in the comments. Mostly because she was on the same page as the other women who left their thoughts. Essentially, women are conditioned/assume that if a man can’t get it up it’s somehow a reflection upon them, the woman he’s with, and not something else going on with the guy. The male commenters who indicated an opinion on the matter seemed to back me up. That erections were not as simple as showing a guy something sexually stimulating and waiting for the spongy tissue to fill up.
As the conversation went on, I realized that perhaps I was being a bit defensive, but I honestly don’t think it was underserved defensiveness. Usually, when I feel that way, it’s because the basic point of whatever post is being commented on has been missed. While that post didn’t have a salient point (some do, some don’t), I did try to establish as a man with a penis attached to his body that the simple stimulation = hard-on idea was incorrect. Yes, even men in all their supposedly binary simplistic ways, have a bit of nuance in how their sex works.
The notion that men’s sexual stimulation is as simple as a flicking a switch and that any issues he has, assuming they’re not physiological, are the responsibility of his partner seems to me sexist all the way around. As if men are simple bits with on and off settings and nothing in between and no psychological dimension to their arousal and, similarly, if he can’t get it up, it’s her problem, not his. That’s all kinds of fucked up.
I try not to go out of my way to find offense in things like this and I’m not trying assign the label of “sexist” on anyone in the conversation (and I’m fairly surprised to feel as though I’m on the other side of a sexist notion, to be honest about it). It could even be argued I’m overreacting. But it’s how I feel and, I think, the root of my “defensiveness.”
Of course, I didn’t need to write a post about erectile dysfunction issues. I could have glossed right over it. I don’t write about everything, after all. But I did and part of why I did was to hash out the difference between not getting it up because I wasn’t turned-on and not getting it up even though I was. Plus, I very specifically wanted to disabuse Belle of any idea that she was responsible. She may own the penis but she can’t control its function with such granularity. I became annoyed because the comments immediately went to where I specifically tried to redirect the issue. It’s fair to say women are conditioned to think their partner’s erections are their problems, but it’s frustrating to see that notion defended by women. I don’t think it’s fair nor anywhere near as simple.
I’ve written many times here that chastity and denial have rewritten some of the basic penis programming. It gets hard significantly less often due to stimulation while locked up than it does when unlocked. Additionally, once she comes, my body reacts in many ways as if I’ve come, though with less intensity than if I actually had. I also don’t think it gets quite as hard as it used to in similar situations nor does it stay as hard for as long. It’s very much a different organ than it was when we started (this even extends to the physical — there’s a permanent dent in the shaft now right where the Steelheart’s tube would hit during an erection). Plus, of course, chastity, denial, and D/s make me think about it and its role a lot more than a vanilla guy would. So it’s not really surprising to me at all that it would, on occasion, develop a hiccup. Even if only once in a while.
I can’t say to what extent Drew factors into any of this except to make the point as delicately as possible that the penis is usually not hard with him except when I’m under very specific stimulation. I have some theories as to why I seem to have had an issue resetting to being with Belle, but none of them are scary or menacing or anything at all anyone needs to worry about. It’s just how it is. A temporary blip.
For the record, the Sunday morning the penis worked exactly as designed. She told me I could fuck her and, as soon as I felt her wet pussy, it was ready for the task. No delay. It stayed that way the entire time until I came. The orgasm was intense, even painful, but not unpleasant. Clearly, whatever the cause of the previous day’s issues, they were resolved. I’d prefer not to think of it as a “problem” and it’s certainly not Belle’s to worry about. I really wish she wouldn’t, regardless of conditioning.