Follow the jump for my review of the Rigid Chastity Halfshell male chastity device (complete with the usual NSFW images and video)…
More metrics and more
This morning, I found myself horny. Unexpectedly since recently I haven’t been feeling especially sexy. I have a chronic issue with my foot which has essentially halted any cardio exercise for me and that’s led me to be out of what I’d consider even passable shape and it’s really impacted my mood. But this morning, I was horny. Just kind of randomly while in the shower.
When you have a penis that’s locked up a lot (and the one on me has been lately, bigly), something strange can happen even when turned on. I was there in the shower, my mind had wandered to nice and dirty places, and I could feel the energy of being hot and horny burning in my balls. I could feel the tingle of it along my perineum and even in the penis, and the flutter of it in my chest. But that’s it. No hard-on. No pressure in the tube. At most, there was a chubbing of meat, but nothing remotely like an erection.
As I moved about and the hot water ran down my body, I could feel the heaviness of the steel shifting and pulling gently on me and that made things that much hotter. Knowing I was getting turned on and feeling that firehose of need and desire beginning to turn uselessly on the hard barrier between me and satisfaction, but it wasn’t until I soaped up and was cleaning the device and its contents that a seemingly perfunctory erection finally materialized. The hot, smooth steel was implacable in both its resistance to the internal pressure and the frustrated squeezing and groping from my slippery hands.
Even if looking at Tumblr, which I was shortly after finishing the shower, erections are not guaranteed. I will get hard if a particular scalding video or image goes by, but the attempt is fleeting. Back when chastity was new to the penis, long-lasting ragers were not uncommon. Painfully tight and throbbing. But the penis knows now. It’s been trained. Getting hard is pointless. Getting hard gets it nowhere. So it barely tries.
When it’s out, it’s a totally different story. Besides getting hard from nothing more than the feeling of the penis moving around inside my pants as I walk around, its ability to stiffen up is hair-triggered. So clearly not a functional issue. It’s all internal. Instinct tempered by discipline. Though hardly an issue anymore since the necessary condition for free erections is so rare.
So anyway, I haven’t done a metrics update in a while. I’ve been tracking my time locked up since the start of year and, even though my mood’s been spotty and I’ve been a bad rabbit and not as juiced up as as I’d like, I never stopped tracking.
Going back to August, you can see some of what I think led to my unauthorized orgasms while away from Belle. Besides staying unlocked for a week at home in which she thought I was locked, I used my emergency key to let myself out while away after about 48 hours. Honestly, I’m just not very good at keeping my hands off the meat when I’m alone with it (I admit to being a weak creature in that regard) and there was a too much time in August in which that was the case.
There were two orgasms in August, both yanked out in my tent while camping and neither authorized by Belle. That led to an amendment to my rules and, as you’re about to see, a marked increase in being in a protected state.
In September, the percentage of time in a device increased to 93%. Basically, the penis was secure for all but the equivalent of two days total. I can’t actually remember why that was now, but it could have been due to some little sore spot or something. Pretty sure it was that kind of thing and not Belle feeling the need to have it out while not in use.
There was one orgasm right at the start of the month and it was also unauthorized, but it was inside Belle and an accident. That was the last one I’ve had. Nothing in the rest of the month except some healthy spurts while fucking. One time might have been pretty close, but still not a real cumshot. None of the dopey sleepy post-coming hormones.
October is when shit got real. Under the new rules, I’m expected to put the penis away after Belle’s had her fun with it as soon as possible. Usually, that means sliding the tube back over the still wet and sticky and more than slightly chubby meat, but once a month or so I’ll clean the Steelheart well and shave the bits that are hard to get to, etc. But October was different.
I was only out three times in the first two weeks and only long enough to fuck and clean the device. In the second two weeks, Belle and I were traveling with the family. We had our own room for part of that trip, but she left the key at home so I was in the whole time. Then this past weekend, I was away from her on a road trip and, obviously, not out for that. I didn’t even ask because absent a real reason (like a federal agency’s security checkpoint), the rules are pretty clear. What this means is I’m in my third week of continuous lock-up and that’s reflected in the 99% achievement.
And as I said, no orgasms in October.
For the record, this is what the year-to-date numbers look like. It’s been all Steelheart all the time since July so that device is living up to its reputation as Belle’s favorite. The Rigid Chastity Halfshell has been shipped, though, so November’s chart will have more than one shade of blue on it. Presumably.
I can’t imagine Belle will deny herself a fuck for much longer so there’s no way I’ll go a solid month in lock-up. She’s not really into arbitrary accomplishments like that, anyway. The continued lack of orgasm is also something I have no insight into. I doubt she does, either, since letting me come seems to be a game-time decision for her most of the time. I don’t really crave one, of course, and can probably go indefinitely without it, but when it happens it’s not really for me. Like letting me out to fuck, that’s mostly because she likes how it feels. Same with coming. Sometimes, a girl just likes to feel a guy shoot his load inside her. Right now, I’m the only guy she’s got, so…
Tent me
While away from Belle during a week in the deep woods camping at the end of July, I jacked off twice to completion in my tent.
Why? I can claim the first time was due to me not being able to relax and sleep, but that doesn’t explain the second time. There’s really no excuse. I wore the locking cock ring as a reminder of things but had to take it off due to it rubbing me badly and I didn’t have any lube with me to fix it. I masturbated once it was off. So I don’t know. I’m weak. I’m stupid. I was away from Belle and and far outside my day-to-day rhythms. And I was unlocked.
I am not the same person when I’m locked up. I would never think of taking Belle’s key or opening mine and using it to let the penis out for a quick one. I totally could do that, but I would never. Even if I wasn’t locked up, the chances of me jacking off while at home are pretty distant. I will sometimes fiddle with the penis and get it hard, give it a squeeze and a pull. But to furiously wank on it? So much so that I shoot? No.
But in the tent. Far away from Belle and the sphere of normal life. Without the impediment of a physical device. I changed. That’s all there is to say.
I’m not happy about it. I wish I hadn’t done it. I almost feel like that person was a different version of me. I guess, in a way, it was. It’s also a reminder of how deeply the need to find sexual release is built into us. All of us. How quickly we can regress to the mean. The first time, maybe I had a reason. The second time, I did it because I felt like it.
Belle, of course, knew. Before I had a chance to tell her (and I was going to tell her) she told me. I can’t say what it was exactly that tipped her off, but she could tell. Then, while fucking her the weekend I got home, I accidentally came again.
Maybe because of all the coming, my predilection towards being locked up was at a low ebb and my mom came to town and Belle forgot to tell me to go back in. So on top of everything else, I wasn’t secured for a week while Belle assumed I was. But since she never actually told me to go back in, I rationalized.
So yeah, I’ve been a bad rabbit.
I share all this not because it’s especially hot or makes good reading but to highlight how hard I think being a denied man is. In that tent in those woods, I failed. I did what I wanted and disregarded my previous pledges to the contrary.
It affected my mood. Besides the chemical hits that accompany orgasm, there was the reality of not living as I was supposed to. Not living up to her expectations and even my own. Plus there’s other things compounding that that aren’t for this blog. But I haven’t felt myself, really, since then.
Belle’s recent clarifications regarding her expectations of when I’ll be locked in a device (as in, all the time unless she says otherwise) has helped. I’ve been in the Steelheart nearly continuously expect for a day or so she let me out because I was sick and the two 30-minute periods this weekend when she wanted to fuck. She’d get up and leave the room when she was finished with me and I had to put the device back over the still-turgid and wet penis, shoving and pushing until the lock turned. She didn’t tell me to, she expected it. Living like this has made me feel more myself. Less like tent me and more like locked me. I like that me. Belle does, too.
In reality, it’s a relief to know I am expected to always be in a device. That absent specific direction on the matter, I should always every time be locked. I resent not being in one, anyway. I don’t think of myself as complete anymore if I can see and feel the penis. I would rather step out of the shower and see shiny steel than a fleshy tube. I’d rather feel the comforting discomfort of a constrained erection in the morning than not. I want to feel the heft of the thing swing when I turn over in bed. I want to feel it pressing up against me as I lay on my stomach. I want to feel the hardness of the tube pushing into my balls when driving and wearing my jeans. I want to be able to put my hands down my pants and feel the lock. That’s who I aspire to be. Because it makes me feel more like the me she prefers. Because that me can’t fuck up and come because he feels like it.
Mailbag
Welcome to part 732 of an ongoing series of posts where I occasionally remember to answer questions sent in by my readers.
Zel zipped:
I need a piece of advice, which device is more stealth? Holy trainer or the looker?
I’m inclined to go for th looker, but looking at the pics on ur site it seems holy trainer places the tube almost vertical meaning it’s doesn’t create a bulk down there. Is the looker that stealthy?
They’re both very stealthy. Neither has any moving parts so sound is not an issue. I guess, if I had to, I’d give the Holy Trainer a slight edge on the visibility scale, but unless you have a really big cage on the Looker 02 (which you probably won’t), it’s still pretty much a wash. So, based on stealth, it’s a horse a piece. You’ll need to make your decision based on some other factor (like if you want a titanium tube shoved up your penis).
Pat partook:
I think I know a way to make the Holytrainer 99% secure, assuming you don’t break any piece. What is required is a cock ring that you put on before putting on the Holytrainer. In my case, I’ve experimented a bit with folded paper to emulate a cock ring, and found that a ring that has a circumference of 20 cm and a height of 4 cm will prevent me from reaching my flaccid penis and drag it out. It will not hurt at all either. Problem for me with trapped ball devices is that I can drag them out from the body. This creates a gap. Then I can put a pencil or something and push the penis out of the cage through the peehole, then reach in with my fingers and drag it out. With a gap filling penis ring like this, I can’t reach in with my fingers, and there will not be enough space for the penis to escape.
Have you thought about this idea before? I was wondering if you know how where I can buy a ring like this. It should be quite wide to not squeeze this sensitive part of the penis, I think it should be somewhat flexible to, perhaps silicone. But it shouldn’t be so flexible that it can be stretched over the Holytrainer.
Since you’re an expert I want to give you this idea so that you may help me dig into it 🙂 I also gave the idea to the Holytrainer makers so that they might create a product in the future.
OK, well, not to be too much of an ass, but you could just try not pulling it out of the device. I get the need for security. I get the hotness of being in a thing from which you cannot escape. Truly, I do. But at some point, you need to buy off on what the device implies as well as what it makes physically possible/impossible.
Now that that’s out of my system, I have a silicone cock ring that’s not stretchy enough to easily get back over a locked Holy Trainer (but I probably could if I had to). I thought it was from Gear Essentials but I don’t see it on their site now. Not having tried what you’re describing, I can’t say how effective it’d be, but I maintain that unless the penis is physically held in place within the device through a piercing, there’s no such thing as an inescapable trapped-ball chastity device. They can be made harder to get out of, but not impossible.
I could also see how some would not like your approach as it would make the device sit out further from the body. Also, I’d be afraid of pinching. I really hate pinching. But whatevs! If it works for you, awesome. Maybe someone else will find your approach helpful.
Mark mumbled:
I have a question I hope you can help me with. Last year we bought a mature metal jailbird as we wanted something I could wear permantly. We measured carefully, sent back for a few adjustments and all seems to fit very well. The problem is I always develop a sore spot after a few days, normally 3, under the ring just away from the top and have to remove the device 🙁 . We have tried oval as well as normal ring and the same problem always occurs ( it does not with CB ). Mature metal have not heard of this and no one else seems to
Have you heard of this? We love the metal device but I just can’t wear for more than a few days. Is it because single ring do you think double will solve this?
My first thought it stubble. Are you trying to stay smooth down there? I find that about three days after shaving that the stubble comes up and gets pressed back into me during erections. It can be quite painful and, if I try and keep the spot smooth of hair, will eventually develop into a hotspot that requires I remove the device. That’s why I really only shave every few weeks (if that).
However, if it was that, it would happen in other devices too, not just metal (unless the Jail Bird is tighter in the ring than others you’ve worn). I assume you’re using a long-lasting lube like silicone (not baby oil and not petroleum jelly and nothing water-based). Could you have an metal allergy?
If it’s not fit and it’s not lube and it’s not shaving, it could be your anatomy is, for whatever reason, just not compatible. That’d suck, if true.
4her2uz cryptically capered:
Hi there, been reading your blog for some time now, even went to the very beginning to see what I missed. Your insights on cages have been more than helpful, and allowed me to get a MM jailbird to fit on first attempt. Your interactions with your wife have been an inspiration to how I view my chastity lifestyle and has really saved me a lot of frustration and resentment. I know I would have been like you, wanting to have a release date set, no early release, etc.. But have went with your way of “its not up to me”. If its one day, one week, one month, one year…its her decision. Even though l am kinda an ass after I cum, and I lose my fuzzy feeling, if she wants it to happen, that’s what’s gonna happen.
I even started a blog after she agreed to be my keyholder to hopefully help others like you have helped me. I had looked for awhile, but most chastity info was based on maids, sissification, cuckolds, and pets.
Anyway, you gave me the tools to try this for real, I’ve never been this open, talkative, sharing, or happy with someone I love before. She loves it as well, she has been with cheaters before, and this gives her peace of mind. Granted I know I could still cum or get my penis out, but could never get the whole thing off.
Anyway besides the thank you, I wanted to ask you a question about your wife…Once you told her about your chastity idea and she agreed to live this way with, did any of her kinks that she told you about start to actually turn you on?
Example…I was never into spanking, collars, or restraints…but once she told me about them, I am into it totally. Anyway, did your chastity let her reveal kinks, and even though you weren’t into that before, change your thoughts about them?
My Belle has not been forthcoming with too many kinks, per se. She’s admitted a preference for cocks that are bigger than the erect penis I was born with and she’s toyed with the idea of taking a boyfriend on the side, but other than that, no, she hasn’t shared any kinks or predilections.
Regardless, she has embraced a version of femdom that works for her which it really important. It has to work for her and, even if it’s not the cliched version we read about on the web, it’s very hot for me because it’s authentic and makes her happy. In a way, that’s a kind of “revealed kink” in that I had to adjust my preconceptions as to how I’d be dominated so that she was comfortable doing it.
Also, as you say, the amount of communication that comes from being able to successfully integrate a kink like chastity into one’s relationship has all kind of positive side-effects. Great that it works for you! Glad the blog was a help to you both.
Simon says:
My partner and I have entered into male chastity and we are both loving it! However after a tease and denial session how do you get the penis back into its cage? I saw a video where she puts cream over his cock and it seems to become flaccid quite quickly, is this some sort of numbing cream? How do you get your penis back into its cage without orgasm?
Numbing cream takes a long time to work, I find. And even so, I am sometimes so turned on that even a numb penis will stay hard (sometimes because it’s numb). The best advice I have is one of two options. First, a swift kick in the nuts. But some might have a hard time with that. The other idea is a bag of frozen peas (or an icepack or bag of ice or whatever). No hard penis can withstand the affects of something colder than 32º. A few minutes with icy peas on your pecker should do the trick. Just move fast after the cold goes away.
Locked in the Desert dissertated:
Keyholder has locked me in a Holy Trainer 2, 40 mm ring, short cage. The fit seems perfect. However if I start to get aroused it is most painful. Keyholder inquires if I am to be unlocked when receiving anal sex or if this is just something I mentally need to work through when he desires to penetrate me anally. I have been locked for 7 days without orgasm.
Painful how? Like a testicle pain? Or is it in the tube?
Fitting a penis in a hard device is difficult because there are so many variables. On the one hand, I’d say pain is an integral part of the chastity experience. I really believe that. But it can’t be pain that’s too intense for you to take (and that level is purely personal and varies from person to person). I know when Belle and I have sex and she keeps me in the device that I am often feeling a lot of pain. As much if not more than the daily 4:00 AM pressure test. But it passes and I accept it as part of my situation. Some men, however, cannot take the pain. They don’t, like me, take a certain comfort or strength from it. If that’s you, you could look into a silicone device or you might need a bigger ring (if it’s pain in your balls) and/or a bigger tube (if you have a really big dick).
Michael mentioned:
So I’ve been though (like most) a few devices in my search for the perfect fit, so far my favourite is the Holy Trainer V2 with a short shaft and large ring. I tend to be pretty short shafted (just the head or smaller when soft) but large balled (I think it’s actually large scrotum). So far I’m happy with what I’ve got device wise, but I’ve been thinking about getting a PA.
If i were to modify my trainer to allow a PA ring to hold my penis forward do you suspect there’d be any issues with that? Assuming of course I wait the appropriate time for healing, would a constant gentle tug forward cause a PA to migrate or irritate? I definitely CAN fill out the cage comfortablely while soft I just don’t tend to extend fully into the cage which causes some issues during urination.
I found that kind of pulling you describe to be absolutely excruciating. Like, debilitatingly so. When a penis retracts, it’s not just shrinking. There’s a tendon called the suspensory ligament that actually pulls back with a slow and steady pressure. No matter how well you’re healed, the pull on your piercing will be very painful. Not only that, but if you were somehow able to deal with the pain, over time it could cause your piercing to migrate. Do yourself a favor and don’t Google migrated PA piercings.
I did a lot of experimenting with this when I was in the CB6K back in the day. I know of where I speak. At least for me. Use caution.
Babyjosh64 said over on Fetlife:
Hey I have a question if you do not mind. I have tried several Chastity devices such as the holytrainer, CB-6000s. In which I can slip out of all of them because my penis so small. What would you recommend I get?
A PA piercing and an appropriate device to take advantage of it.
Time4Kink said, also on the Fetlife:
I am having a problem with the v2. After wearing it for 24-48 hrs I get redness on the top and tip of my penis. It’s a glowing red and sore. What causes this? Have you heard of this before?
Hmm. Sounds like a bad fit? Or maybe a hygiene issue? Or is there some roughness inside the tube? Could be your cock is too big for the tube or something. Or maybe you’re very sensitive to urine being in contact with your skin.
Buck_Pup on Fetlife said:
So I wound up getting the Holy Trainer, and it’s definitely awesome! 😀
One question about a problem I’ve had with this and the cb6k.. is there any way you’ve found to avoid the irritation when fabric brushes up against the tip that’s exposed at the end of the cage? Or do you just end up getting used to it, because right now it’s hard to pick out something to wear that wont keep brushing up against the tip painfully.
Yeah, that just sucks. For whatever reason, I don’t have that issue as much in the Holy Trainer but I sure do in the Jail Bird. I find wearing underwear a must and it needs to be somewhat thick, especially in the pouch. Flimsy fabric or going commando are a no-go.
That’s all I got for now. Got a question or a comment or whatever? Send it to me. Maybe I’ll get around to reading it.
Rigid Chastity Halfshell
There’s a new (to me) player in the stainless steel chastity device game called Rigid Chastity out of Otwock, Poland (just south of Warsaw). I think it was someone on the Twitter who first brought them to my attention.
As of right now, they sell eight devices on their site. Four are classified as “Chastity Devices PA” since they’re designed to work with PA piercings, but they all stick straight out from the body in an odd way that may be sorta hot for scene plate but would seem to make them impracticable for lifestyle wear (in which case, why bother with the PA?). [EDIT – They’re supposed to be supported by the PA. I see that now. I blame my old eyes on not seeing if before. Still, if they’re made of stainless, I can’t imagine that’s in any way comfortable or tolerable.] They have another category called “Chastity devices,” one of which also has a PA security option, but the other three don’t. At least they’re curved like you’d expect to make them wearable all the day long.
Then there’s a third category called “Modular chastity devices” in which it’s indicated there are seven options but only four are displayed. Not sure what makes them “modular.” At first I thought maybe they were making stainless steel devices with interchangeable parts but they say on the site they’re custom made and require fitting if options are added after the fact.
All in all, their products appear to be knock-offs of Mature Metal and Steelworxx designs at perhaps slightly better prices (though it’s hard to tell with currency fluctuations and option costs) which, all by itself, would make them barely worth a mention. But. They have a PA security design I’ve never seen before and it’s really interesting.
It’s been implemented in one device in particular that has caught my eye. It’s called the Halfshell and, from the front, looks like a Steelworxx Steeheart (even in how it uses the now ubiquitous integrated brass lock) but, from the side, you can see there’s something different going on. The backside of the tube is cut away and there’s an extra ring with a bar that comes down the bottom of the penis shaft. That’s the cool bit. That bar. Rigid Chastity has an extra piece that fits over the tube’s pins and goes through the PA from underneath. It doesn’t attach to PA jewelry the way Belle’s Steelheart does. The fixing is integrated into the device. That’s made my inner chastity gearhead all giddy.
PA fixing is maybe the trickiest part of chastity device design. I’ve noodled over it myself quite a bit and it led me to a PA fixing design Steelworxx sells to this day. It works really well, but it’s not perfect. It depends on a U-shaped bar that goes down into the tube with the penis and through a PA ring which allows the penis some degree of movement (which is good) but also will occasionally cause pinching where the jewelry meets the bar or when the skin on the penis shaft get’s caught between the bar and the tube during erections (which is bad). Rigid’s design seems minimize the pinching possibility. Thanks to the cut-away tube, there’s a minimum of area for the fixing bar to pinch against the tube. Plus, their design utilizes a single bar, not two. It also fits over the pins like mine does in a way that makes the device (at least sans penis) look more complicated and busy, but is undoubtedly just as secure.
The only downside to their fixing that I can imagine from a comfort perspective is, since it goes directly into the PA piercing, that the penis, as is its wont, can’t lengthen or shrink over the course of the day. This particularity of the penis is what drove me to design a fixing that would allow a bit of movement. But it’s also true that when I designed it I was wearing a tube that was altogether too long for the penis I was born with. I presume that a correctly measured tube and its Rigid-style fixing wouldn’t need to much variability in design.
So I ordered one. It was just too intriguing to pass up. If Belle likes it, it’ll be hers. If she doesn’t, I’ll wear it enough to write a review then I’ll put the Steelheart back on.
Unfortunately, Rigid’s ordering experience hasn’t been fantastic. I got an email saying my account had been set up but not one confirming my order. I was charged, but when I log in to their site, my account records don’t indicate I’ve placed any orders. Worrisome. I’ve contacted them through their site and will update this post when I hear something back.*
So, how about you? Any interest in their designs? Are you wearing a Rigid device right now? What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.
*UPDATE: I did receive an email from them. Their site does not confirm orders automatically. All is well.
June metrics
The end of June marks the end of the first half of 2016 and means another check-in with my ongoing chastity metics project.
I was barely out at all in June. There was one weekend she left me in the whole time. I had about ninety minutes of release for a massage and a few other times for an hour or so to fuck, but it wasn’t until late in the month she let me stay out overnight. After that, I switched from the Steelheart to the Looker 02 and stayed in that until yesterday. All that adds up to over 690 hours in a device, or about 95% of the month (579 hours in the Steelheart and 111 in the Looker o2). This is a marked increase in from the previous two months when I was locked up about 70% of the time.
For the year, the penis has been secure nearly 3,300 hours (about 137 days). That’s 75% of the time and a four point year-to-date increase from the last check-in at the end of May. The Stealheart continues being Belle’s go-to device making up more than 3/4 of the time the penis was secure this year.
On the orgasm front, I had one kinda-mostly accidental orgasm back on the 11th which was good enough to count. That brings the total for the year to 12 which averages to about one every two weeks (though it’s been about three weeks right now). At the end of last month, the trend was towards 26 orgasms in 2016 but now that’s down to 24, assuming she continues to let me do it at the average rate established.
July won’t be as severe as June if only because we’re out of town for the 4th for a few days and she let me out before we left and didn’t tell me to bring a device with us. I figure I’ll get minimally 120 hours of free time this month. She used to let me come on major holidays but isn’t so reliable with that anymore so we’ll see. No idea when I’ll come next. She hasn’t given me any ideas.
To be a clear and to remind everyone, I’m measuring these things for no other reason than to have the data. I’m not trying to influence Belle or sneakily lobby for one thing or another. She’ll lock me up when she wants to and make me come when she wants and all I’ll do is report it.
May Metrics
We’re in June now so that means another month is in the books and another post in my metrics tracking project is at hand. At the end of April, I had been locked into a chastity device 70% of the time. In May, that year-to-date percentage increased slightly to 71%.
The Steelheart remains by far Belle’s most-used device and accounted for two-thirds of the time I was secured in May. The Holy Trainer is on the charts for the first time this year making up the balance of the time. I wore it for about a week and a half leading up to a trip the two of us made to DC. I needed something that would pass through security, though she left me unlocked throughout the trip (accounting for the lion share of the 24% of May I was unlocked).
She let me come two more times in May bringing my total number of orgasms on the year to eleven. She didn’t think she was letting me come that much but, after seeing the list, I think was a little surprised at how often it’s happened. Belle isn’t planning on letting come again until at least August when she sees TOG. At the current rate, I’m on track to come 26 times in 2016 (which seems like a metric shit ton of coming to me), but if I don’t come again until late summer, the trend will be towards 18. Even that seems like a lot based on past experience, but Belle decides and all I’m doing is tracking, not lobbying.
I was planning a trip this month which could have led to being unlocked for about a week, but work is conspiring against that opportunity so I expect June may end up looking a lot like January during which I was locked up 94% of the time.
Metrics update
When the year started, I said I was going to track the amount of time Belle locked me in chastity and which devices she used. I figured since today marks one-third of the year being over, it’d be a good time to check in.
So far this year, I’ve been locked in one of three chastity devices for 70% of the time. This is just an average, though, since I was locked up 99% of January but only 23% of March. Most of March and the very beginning of April was when I was having emotional issues with our dynamic.
As you can see, the Steelheart is getting the most service. Being Belle’s favorite, that’s to be expected. We’re travelling in May, so the Holy Trainer will show up on the charts pretty soon. I doubt I’ll wear anything but one of those four, though, unless something new comes onto the scene.
I also said I was going to track orgasms. I’ve had nine this year which, funnily enough, sounds like a ton to me. On average, that’s more than one every two weeks. Again, though, that’s the average. I had one in January, three in February, four(!) in March, and one in April (yesterday). Interesting that February and March was getting close to what a normal boy might expect in terms of coming (well, maybe half of normal at best) and coincided with my issues in March. Correlation isn’t causality, though. Belle might have been letting me come to make me feel better because I was mopey and not the other way around. Hard to tell. In either case, she has conciously decided to cut me back, hence the single emission in April. My mood has been much better. Take that for what you will.
So anyway, over two thousand hours of lock up so far this year. Never thought of it that way. That’s a trend towards six thousand hours for 2016, though unless we have another period like March show up, it’ll be more than that.
In the end, it’s not about the numbers anyway. It’s about what Belle wants. All this is just simple math.
Mailbag, “The end is nigh” edition
Still going!
Louis lamented…
We recently received our Looker 01 and have had no luck getting the urethral tube in. We’ve done soundings before and are surprised at this as we didn’t except the size to be a problem but apparently it is. Do you have any suggestions on insertion or sounding stretching or?
Gosh, no. Did you order the default size? While I’ve played around with it, I’m not a sounding expert by any means. You could try lubricating the insert beforehand, but I’d only want to do that with fresh, presumably uncontaminated lube. I suppose it’s also possible the size of the cage is small enough to be squishing the urethra so as to make insertion an issue. That’s all I got.
Mike mentioned…
Just found your blog, it’s fantastic. I’m just getting into chastity, and pleasingly my wife is happy to participate. I’ve tried a steel cage with a 2 inch hinged ring, found this very tight with pain, as if I had a UTI, which I’don’t think I did. I then tried a CB6000 with their optional large rings, 2 1/4 inch, but still found it tight at very bottom of the ring, but at times could pop a ball through accidentally if they rode up, so clearly haven’t got the size right yet! I have very large balls (smallish penis) so I think I need these large ring sizes. You said that you started with 2 inches and went down to 1.5 over time, how does that work/happen? How much time? With the oval cages, I think the wide part is on the sides? For me I think I would want the wide part to sit vertically to deal with the pressure I’m feeling at the bottom pushing on my urethra. I was wondering about getting a custom cage without the full circle, with a small gap in the cage at the base of the cage to deal with that. Mature Metals Jailbird is the custom one I’m looking at. I would be very interested in your thoughts. Thank you.
To me, it sounds like your problem is the CB-6000 ring design which it awful and torturous and should be banned by international agreement. If you were wearing a ring like that found on the Holy Trainer, you’d likely be able to tolerate a smaller size.
Regarding going down in size, I did go smaller after a while. I can’t say for certain why that was but I suspect it was various bits adjusting in their placement internally or just getting used to being squeezed and/or a result of my scrotum getting stretched. Regardless, oval rings are more comfortable because the most sensitive stuff down there are the tubes on the side running down to your testicles and the surrounding parts. As I said, if you’re feeling it mostly underneath, I’d say it’s because the CB6K ring is terrible and sharp.
If you get an MM device, I’d suggest you get the double-width ring option. It makes the device more comfortable overall.
George gorged…
Just want to say thank you for the website and sharing your experiences. I have been in an HT2 for one week, my wife has been a willing participant and am excited to see where this journey leads. So just want to say I appreciate your posts and info your website has. It has been helpful to me.
Excellent! Another satisfied customer. Best of luck to your and your wife.
Kinkngso croaked…
Just ordered a chastity devise with a uretha tube. What should I know about wearing it, maintaining it, etc.
Read this and then this and then this and then this and then all of this. That ought to do it.
Lea labored…
I am very interested in your lifestyle and your blog. I would like to read it from the very beginning but can’t find the way for that. I know there’s link to the very first record in about section but how to continue to next ones? Can you help me please and advise of the way how can I go from oldest to newest?
Man, these are easy ones. Here you go.
Ben buoyed…
I currently wear a holy trainer and is going well so far.
do you have any opinion about strap ons for this chastity device? what works well with, etc…
thanks for all your help
Here’s a relevant post. With regards to harnesses, try and find one that has two straps underneath that can go on each side of your locked penis. You’re more likely to find those on sites that cater to gay men.
An unidentified woman asked…
Greetings Thumper, I know you don’t write an advice column, but maybe you can help me understand the realities in my current situation. I am a 54 year old woman’s with “hard wired vanilla sensibilities.” I discovered your blog as I was learning about male chastity. I love your writing, your story, your blog, and your posts. If I could have dinner with you, Belle, Drew, Axel, Ferns, GeekDomme, and a few others whose names I can’t remember, how fun would that be? Anyway, my partner and I have been living together two years. Dave is 10 years older and is retired. He came out to me as kinky shortly after we started sleeping together. I have never had any kinks or fetishes and I was very unfamiliar with anything to do with what he was telling me about, so I sought as much information as I could, in order to be “GGG” and see where I fit in and what I might like. I have always considered myself a sex-positive woman, and have found that sex over 50 has been the best of my life. Fewer worries, more freedom. I know myself better, and what I like, and have the confidence to ask for it. My partner Dave is a master cunnilinguist. I have never been able to orgasm from PIV, so this is ideal for me, although I do enjoy a lot about cock. First, he told me he enjoyed erotic pain, so I started by experimenting with electro-sex with him, which included bondage and a little cock and ball torture, and I thought it was mutually satisfying. It was fun to see him squirm and his cock definitely liked it, which was what I enjoyed the most. I will admit that as these scenes continued and escalated as I tried to find more things to turn him on, they seemed to amount to a lot of work on my part, and at some point I think Dave assumed that I was play-acting for his sake, and that took him completely out of the head space and it was no longer enjoyable for him. I am not a domme, it just doesn’t interest me, so yes, I was doing it for him. Words or acts of humiliation are anathema to me, and I could never ever humiliate, or cuckhold or sissify him, even though I know he enjoys exactly that. When Dave brought up chastity, and I read books and blogs, including yours, and it seemed like a way to meet both our needs. I wanted Dave to get horny- hopefully for me after enough time. I wanted him to be able to get an erection- again hopefully with me (usually it takes Viagra for him to get it up with me, although he masturbates with no problem at all, so I thought chastity might help with that.) I have been feeling that he has been spending too much time with his fetishes and fantasies on the Internet and in his head, and I want him to focus on reality. Right now, he is obsessed with cock- he wants to get fucked, he wants to suck cock- and I am okay with that. I want him to be able to go outside our relationship to get what I can’t give him. I want him to have his Drew, or his Frodo, and then come home and fuck me when I want it. I don’t want him to spend time watching sissy training videos and masturbating. I feel like this is taking him in the wrong direction, so that’s why I put him in chastity. So now I am a little confused- he said he never should have told me about his latest fetishes because now I am trying to change him and get him to give that up. I told him that I don’t care what gets him off in his head when he’s masturbating or coming, but that I don’t want him wasting time on sissy training videos with fantasy porn stars. If he wants cock in his head, he should go out and get some IRL. So which is it, is putting him in chastity trying to change him, or am I trying to control his orgasms? I am sorry I am not as kinky as he is, because I want him to be happy. I have never been able to get him off- not with my mouth, my hands, my pussy. But I am not trying to make him less kinky, am I? He was single for almost 20 years before me and jerking off was his life when he wasn’t working. I am sure he has settled into patterns that he enjoys, so I know he is reacting to not being able to enjoy that any more. He tells me he can’t imagine living without me, and that he loves me, but perhaps we just aren’t sexually compatible? Because of his skill at servicing me orally I could be happy with just that forever. I have dildos and toys that he or I can use in lieu of an erection, but I still think some of his porn viewing and jerking off is an issue- hence the chastity. So just wanted to know if I am off base thinking chastity is appropriate in this situation? If you have suggestions where he should start IRL for his cock fix, let us know. Thanks for listening!
Dave needs to figure out if he wants to be with a caring woman invested in his happiness (which means he may not get the entire salad bar of his kinks satisfied) or if he’d rather be in a relationship with his hand and the computer for the rest of his active life. I can’t say if you’re compatible sexually, but it sounds like you’ve been more than GGG in trying to find a place where you’re both able to be happy. To me, Dave sounds like he can’t get over the fact that the real world isn’t his fantasy world. I get that. It’s a trap a lot of men fall into who have been jacking off to their kinks without acting them out with a real person.
I will say chastity cannot change anyone who does not want to be changed. If it was your idea and isn’t a thing he kinks over, then it’s got no place in your relationship. However, you should not be expected to be everything he’s ever wanted in a sex partner. That’s not a kink thing, that’s a life thing. None of us is everything our partner will ever want or need. That said, you’re well within your rights to ask he stop spilling his seed looking at porn by himself and focus on you. In fact, that’s his responsibility, as far as I’m concerned. I have zero tolerance for that stuff.
I hope you can find a way for you both to be satisfied.
And that’s it! The end of the feedback mailbag. Whew. Got a question or a comment or whatever? Send it to me. I’ll get to it. Eventually…
Mailbag, the “There’s more where this shit came from” edition
We will continue to dig through the mailbag backlog, this time starting with the most recent.
Zel zipped…
First of all thanks for keeping the blog alive. In some weird way it feels that I know u and the rest of ur close friends.
I was wondering if u could have tried the axel from drew or any steelwerks extreme. I think it’s time to replace my dickcage for something that can be used more permanent. But I’m between steelworxxs and steelwerks extreme.
I’ve never tried it on. Chris at Steelwerks is, as I’ve said, an artist. His prices are high but, if anything, they’re low considering the amount of passion and craftsmanship he brings to his work. Steelworxx are far more affordable but also well made, though using very different techniques and materials. I don’t think you can go wrong with either. It’s all a matter of how much you’re willing to pay. Don’t forget Mature Metal. Also affordable and they offer excellent customer service.
AJ asked…
Do these male chastity devices completely rob you of tactile sensation? Im interested in something that will prevent me from being able to feel my penis rub the inside of my clothes. Ideally, it would also keep me from being able to become, um, engorged to any degree.
If you get a closed tube device like a Holy Trainer or the Steelheart from Steelworxx, no, you will definitely not feel your penis rubbing around inside your pants. However, if you wear them as much as I do, you’ll feel nothing but your penis inside your pants when you’re not locked up. Being enclosed and robbed of feeling makes the skin hyper-sensitive for a while right after getting out.
They also don’t keep you from getting engorged. Your dick will still try and get hard, it just won’t go very far. It’s a common misperceptions that chastity devices keep you from getting hard-ons. They don’t. All they do is squish the fuck out of them (which can be, in itself, an intensely erotic sensation).
Chris crooned…
I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I’m hoping maybe I can get some advice. My wife and I have been practicing chastity and orgasm denial for a little over a year and we’re both enjoying it. My wife enjoys denying me orgasms and keeping me locked up, but she also likes my cock and getting fucked by it. The issue I’m having is that, after a few weeks or even months without being allowed an orgasm, I can’t go more than a few strokes without wanting to explode inside her.
You might say “Well, what do you expect?”, but after reading some of your blog posts, it appears that you can go long enough to at least allow Belle an orgasm. I don’t know if she cums especially quickly during PIV or maybe there’s something I’m not seeing, but I just wanted to ask for any advice you have on holding back your orgasm so that you can give Belle hers.We’ve purchased a cock sleeve and my wife likes it, but sometimes just wants *me* inside her. Did you work up some “tolerance” over time? Numbing cream? Any advice you have would be great. Thanks!
Ah, yes.
No, you don’t develop a tolerance. If anything, the longer you go without coming, the less time you’ll last while fucking. The only way to last longer is to come which, of course, defeats the purpose of the excercise.
Also, context matters. When Belle wants me to fuck her so she can get off, I find it incredibly difficult to last. I can’t sustain any kind of rythym and she can’t get off from me. Some of this is because the pressure of my having to hold off so she can come first is too great, but also she makes all these wonderful noises while getting off and that can make me come all by itself. If she’s already come and just letting me fuck, I can sometimes go for a long time (but also sometimes not). Then she asks, “Where was that when I needed it?” You’re right that I used to be able to do this for her, but then I also used to come more often. It’s nearly impossible for me now.
You can try numbing cream. I’ve written about it before (here and here and here at least). It works really well, but it takes time to take affect and you need to take precautions that it doesn’t get on her and numb her bits up, too. It’s not a good thing for us because Belle doesn’t like to wait around or use condoms. Hoestly, I think the sleeve is the best compromise. When she really wants to feel you in there, she should wait until she wants you to come and do it then.
Jaime juxtaposed…
I’ve been reading your blog intermittently since forever, and I think my beloved has read the occasional post as well. It certainly has influenced our sex life, in good ways, which is a good thing. So, Thanks.
But now that I’ve figured out how to conveniently get here more regularly, I’ve noticed that you’re scarce. So this is a note hoping you are well. And if you’re not, sending you best wishes for the great “out there.” However tenuously connected, I’m sure you know there’s a wide net of folks who care about you.
Aww. Thanks.
Rick rocked…
I don’t know if this has been discussed before with the CB6000s , but I produced a simple anti-pullout device out of a piece of fishing line, and in my opinion, it seems bullet proof to me. I created a 6″ length of line which has about a 3/4″ diameter loop in each end created by a single “overhand loop” (see wikipedia for an example). then I created a slip knot out of one end by feeding one loop through the other. Just before attaching the cage, place the slip knot around the penis and feed the other loop through the bottom slot on the side of the cage. Feed the loop up to the one of the pins and slip it on, then install the cage, trapping the loop — one end captured on the pin, the other around the penis behind the head. The length should be enough so the slip knot can grow to the inside diameter of the cage, but there should be very little extra length to play with, so you might have to make a few to get it right. When you try to pull out, the noose tightens around penis preventing pullout, but even if you do get out, it is almost impossible to get the noose back around the penis without removing the cage. The best thing about it, is that its not noticeable, and the worst thing about it is that you know it’s there and it would be a mistake to try to defeat it, because she’ll know.
Clever. I think the “if you do it she’ll have to know” kind of security set-ups are second best to the ones you can’t defeat at all, but since those require body modification, second best is pretty good for most.
Mike marked…
Can u plz re explain sock method for cb6000 trying to understand and re read and re read
Even better, I’ll show you a video.
Allison allowed…
Hello! We have praise and questions. First, thank you ever so much for your awesome blog! It’s been a HUGE life-changer for us and is simply the most educational site for what we’re into (for example, we learned almost exclusively from your blog that we’d fallen victim to the “room-to-grow” fallacy (phallus-y? 🙂 ) so anyway, big love for Belle and Thumper.
Question: We can’t find info on this anywhere else, so we are to ask you. Did Thumper get his Prince Albert before, or after starting chastity training? Our training is such that we are about ready to get a custom steel cage, but she has also decided she wants him to get pierced, and he will wear a cage whose design accommodates that. What we’re wondering/trying to decide, is if he’ll be doing any chastity training during the recovery from his piercing? Would the cage cause problems during healing? Would it be best to simply regard the new jewelry as chastity enough until it’s healed? Obviously he can’t have sex during the healing process, and I hear erections during this time can be total hell. Not that we’re trying to torture and inflict pain, and we certainly don’t want to cause any damage to our …uh….favorite toy.
I got pierced after we started locking the penis up and in large part because it would allow a more secure chastity experience, but I also really liked the look of a pierced cock and really got off on the idea of physically modifying the penis to make chastity more hardcore. Let’s say it was 80% about function and 10% about fashion and 10% kinky hot shit. I had no idea that it also made sex and masturbation so much more pleasurable.
No, I would not advise locking him up until after the piercing is fully healed. Any kind of tension on the piercing can be very painful during that process and even slow it down. Also, the inside of a chastity tube is exactly the last place one should be healing an open wound. If he gets poked in the peepee, enforced chastity should be off the table for 4-8 weeks, depending on how quickly it heals up.
Rusty ruminated…
I have just recently been introduced to chastity and I love it. I have not yet defined why, exactly, this is but the sensation of being locked up and out of reach from my own hands is strangely intoxicating. It’s only been about a week of being “locked & denied” but I’d like to see if I can make it a full 30 days. At least to start.
Over a decade and a half ago, I gave up masturbating for Lent but only made it 21 of the 40 days before exploding like a fire hose. I have a feeling that being under lock and key will extend that record considerably.
Thanks for your blog and all the advice and insights you provide. As I save up for my first metal chastity device, have you any suggestions on how I can prevent my CB6000 from pinching and even cutting into the underside of my ball sack? There are times it fits just fine and others–frequently–when it becomes so tight that the pain is not only a distraction, but its slicing into my skin requires me to remove the CB and see to the cuts.
I do enjoy chastity, and would like to keep going, but not at risk to my health. Thank-you in advance
My advice is buy a Holy Trainer. It’s SO MUCH better than the CB6K and for exactly the reasons you’re experiencing. It’s significantly simpler, in design and construction, and better in every way other than perhaps cost and customization. Then go back to saving for your steel.
Well, that put a dent in it. Still so much to get through. Next time…